Flashback: Mustache Heaven

All hear this: Mustache Rides $1! And that's in 1981 money. So either that means mustache rides are a quarter. Or $300. I'm not an economist.

Though I am quite certain there is no feasible limit to the number of classy vintage mustaches I adore. Just don't make me kiss a guy with one. 

Hey, I love mustaches. I just don't want anyone to make me kiss someone. I need to have dinner with them first. Seven times. Then we can hold hands.

While holding hands, I'd stare at his mustache. Which I've spelled :moustache" up until now, so going back and fixing that "mouse"-related error.

I'd skillfully always guide the conversation back to mustache-related topics like mustache wax, outdoor furniture, napkins, nuclear disarmament and how important it is for gay people with mustaches to vote, .

Hey, what do you expect? I've got my mind on mustache and mustache on my mind.

They also make great cum rags. As do tube socks from 1981.