Flashback: Cum Stains

All this vintage furniture, clothes and bedding does totally make me smile. But what makes it even better is imagining what it was like after these guys were done with it. You could take a single tube sock and stand it on its hard crusty end and it wouldn't fall over or crumple.

That is, if you're doing the gang bang thing correctly.

And as for that sleazy underwear you could only get in some mail order catalog or matching sleazy store, it's so sleazy its washing instructions said "Lick clean only."

Which mesh underwear is pretty much designed for. Whoever invented it (I'm assuming Thomas Edison or Einstein or Coco Chanel) should be applauded with syncopated ejaculations splattering on their willing, eager face. Way more meaningful than a VH1/Vogue Fashion Award.

Don't iPhones and Instagram have vintage filters? Even though know the allure of a high power virtual flashbulb. If only they could add a magic vintage filter that would strip someone virtually and tube socks and an awesomely bad hairdo. I'd take a bunch of pictures of buff dads (making sure their annoying family members are not in frame) and run that vintage filter until they were just right for my vintage obsession.

Probably for some of them, it wouldn't be their first nude shot. Just the first one they weren't paid for. And it would be time to make some new cum stains.