Ask GayDemon: Wide Open

My boyfriend has asked for an open relationship so that he can sleep with others to get his fix of fetishes we don't share. How can I deal with the jealousy?
-Green with Penis Envy

What are you jealous of exactly? Because it can't possibly be of experiencing fetishes you're not actually into. Oh darn, how you wish you could get tickled by a badminton racket. Alas, that will have to be just between him and his badminton sluts.

So it must be of the intimacy he's sharing with others in general. Or that you don't have fetishes of your own that he's not into. 

If it's the intimacy thing you're jealous of, the maybe time will help. As you can see that his outside experiences don't away from his intimacy with you. But if you really can't deal with it, you have to tell him. But understand you're then asking him to be in a monogamous relationship in which he doesn't get his sexual needs met. Not the best plan for a lasting relationship.

So start on the intimacy now. Tell him how you feel. Set some mutually agreed upon ground rules for any of his hookups. Do you want him to talk to you about what happened? Do you want certain activities off the table outside the relationship? Like kissing. Or even non-sexual things like going out to dinner with the guy or late night phone calls.

You have nothing to prove. It's not cool or awesome or required for you to agree to some arrangement you don't want. But it may be worth exploring to see how it goes.

Now if you don't have any fetishes of your own that he's not into, maybe you can get into the basic fetish of cocksucking with some other guy. Just because your boyfriend will do it with you doesn't mean your fetish can't be just the idea of doing it with someone else.

But that won't change how you feel about what he does though, though it could give you some insight into how you can do that with some other guy and still feel intimate and loving toward your boyfriend.

The good thing is you're talking about it. Keep talking. It's not about make a deal then never adjust as needed.

And most importantly, have him send videos of whatever he's into. I'm sure it's positively awful. In a good way.

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