I’m really into watching my boyfriend get fucked by other guys, but he doesn’t know I’m watching. That’s part of the fun for me, but I have a sense of guilt afterwards as I feel I am lying to him. I catch him out at home setting up hookups when he thinks I’m at work and I found a great spot to watch from. What should I do?
-The Ethical Peeper
Since he hasn't flat out asked you, "oh by the way, instead of being at work in the entire expected time frame, were you secretly still lurking at home in some hideway within our place, listening and watching me arrange surreptitious hookups with strangers in our bed then watching us fuck while you jacked off?" then you're not a liar, because you never answered that question with a no.
Though if at any point he asked you how your work day was and you answered as if you were at work the whole time, then that part is a lie. And a hard to cover up one if your finances are in any way connected.
Plus how big is your place that he can't tell if you're home or not and that there is some sex viewing spot that he's unaware of. If it's some wonderful view of the bed, then you'd think he would have brought it into play before, with an exciting game of "I want you to jack off as if you don't think I'm home and I'll secretly watch you like it's some hidden cam thing but my eyes are the cam."
So either he's unaware of that place (and its sticky floors) for real. Or he knows about it, knows you're watching, and gets turned on by it, meaning while you are sort of a liar, he knows you are and is playing the game along with you.
So you asking me this question may upset the apple cart here. As now you'll wonder if he knows that you're watching him.
But if he doesn't know and he's secretly having sex with others for real, he's an idiot to invite strangers to his apartment. I mean, if something sketchy happens, like if you see the guy poke holes in the condom, or try to steal something, are you going to say something or not, fearing exposure?
In all likelihood he already knows you know and is getting off on it for his own reasons, getting off on it also because you're getting off on it, or just using the whole thing as a way to cheat on you while making you feel guilty for getting off on it.
I have no idea how this situation started as it would have required you to be hiding in the first place. So really as this is an elaborate house of cards, or house of apple carts (I forget my analogies), it has to be actively built on his side too.
He knows that you know. But you don't know that he knows that you know. If he does know that you know and knows that it turns you on, then you can comfort yourself that he's having sex with these guys for both his and your pleasure.
You could just talk to him, but why bother at this point.
The real tragecy, besides you not sending pictures, is you're not renting out that space to other peepers. It'd be like Airbnb but for peepers. I'd call it Airpnp but I'm against that. So just Airpeepandpee. As it's a good idea to pee after you peep/cum. That fact is the basis of my business plan.
Send your questions to [email protected]