Ask GayDemon: Move It or Lose It

Last year I went on vacation and saw how awesome it was to be in a big city with so many gay guys. I live in a small town with the nearest person about 30 miles on Grindr. Do you reckon I should move?

-Confused About Moving

As they say, wherever you go, there you are. Meaning if you go to a gloryhole booth at a bathhouse, there you are. Or if you go to your couch and watch the horrible spectacle that is America's Got Talent, there you are.

Before you decide, you need to realize that just because the nearest person is 30 miles away on Grinder, there still may be gay guys closer to you than that. Maybe that guy lives really close to you but was busy making friends at a highway rest stop. Plus 30 miles isn't that far. The bigger issue is you've seen his profile and he's likely seen yours and neither of you have said hi. The difference in a big city is you'll see a lot more profiles, and some will say 47 feet away, and still neither you nor the guys will say hi. The city isn't going to do it for you. It's just a place, not an action.

If you're a male prostitute for a living, you probably should move to a city. Or at minimum a suburb of Washington, D.C. Trust me.

But really it sounds like it's worth a try, but you should consider which city very carefully. And no matter which one you move to, work the new in town, small town guy angle as long as you can. I'm guessing you did that on your visit, thus your impression of the awesomeness. Because once you're citified, you're screwed. Drowning in the melting pot of gay normalcy.

I recommend moving to a city with someone or finding a roommate. And work in the word "reckon" to everyday conversation. It will be endearing. You may find you'll want to take vacations to the country at some point. Or maybe you'll never want to leave the city because there are so many amazing things to enjoy, like gay guys and restaurants where they don't serve you your food on a plastic tray.

In the meantime, figure out a place that's 15 miles away and ask that guy to meet you there. For lots of sex. With your penises. Just like city gays have.

Or open a small town gay bar, also the name of a fine documentary.


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