Ask GayDemon: Does He Really, Really Like Me?

I feel like my boyfriend likes me less because I lost weight. I used to be a bit more beefy, but still muscular and a solid frame, but now I am more lean. He denies he has lost interest in me physically, but how can I tell for sure?
-Less Is Not More

How did that conversation go?

You: "Have you lost interest in me physically? Because I feel like you have."

Him: "No, I deny I've lost interest in you physically."

You: say nothing but still feel insecure because he's probably lying.

Although you haven't provided any measurable detail such as that he is rarely physically affectionate anymore, or cringes at your leaner midsection. You just feel insecure. And he apparently doesn't, else he might be trying to degrade your efforts and give you extra helpings of porridge or whatever you eat.

I'm betting he has been affectionate toward you, so if he's rubbing your tummy for instance, when you had a bigger tummy, he was rubbing that. So that in your head meant he liked the size of your tummy.

Now that you're leaner, if he rubs your tummy, it's not because he likes your different body, but just because he likes you in general and your stomach is what it is.

But what about the radical idea that he likes you as a person and makes love to you, to your body, in your present form?

Hey, if he has an "I LOVE BEARS AND THE BEAR-ADJACENT" t-shirt, first of all, that's not a very catchy t-shirt, but secondly, his attraction to one thing (in general) does not mean a lack of attraction to something else.

You're right to not just take his words as reality. But be aware, and fair, as you experience how he actually touches you, and how you actually feel about it. And it's also about if your needs are being met, not just "getting" someone to be with you just the way you are. Because that way can change, inside and out.

Now shut up and fuck your boyfriend. I mean that with all respect and admiration.

Send your question to [email protected]