Ask GayDemon: Cocksucking Virgin

I've been going out with a guy for 3 weeks. We've made out a few times and it feels like we're getting closer physically day by day. Even though we're not quite there yet, I've been thinking about sucking his cock. But I've not sucked a single one ever. I get turned off by a weak handshake. And I'm worried he'll be turned off by weak cocksucking. What should I do?
-Vacuum Lessons Wanted

Ask yourself if you've been thinking about sucking his cock because you want to suck it or because you think it's some expected gay sex act. I get that "cocksucker" is a handy slur, but it doesn't mean you actual want to do it. And if you don't want to do it, or if part of you does but isn't ready, you don't have to.

There are plenty of other ways to express affection, like taking him out to dinner or anal. Or both if you go to McDonald's, where anal is always on the menu.

If you want to practice, you could try sucking your own cock, though I expect you would have already been doing that if you could reach. And though yoga or otherwise stretching could maybe help you get there, that would take a long time, and it's still mostly based on your existing body structure. Just like most circus contortionists don't just get there from practice. They're mostly built that way from the start.

So you could go to some sex club and suck random cocks because with a free attempted blowjob from a stranger, a guy can't really justifiably complain. You're just not likely to get any feedback beyond him either holding you closer or pushing you away.

Rather, I suggest being direct with the guy you're dating. It's not necessarily about him teaching you, but about him going at the pace that works for you, being understanding that it's new to you, and keeping things playful and light. Though you may find out what turns you on the most is his being super directive about it. And that varies by mood and the position of the moon.

You can try to get some ideas from porn videos but really I think it would be most exciting for you to go off of instinct. Though there is one thing that is pretty much guaranteed to turn you and your guy on: look him directly in the eyes while you're doing it. Because it's not all just about your mouth. It's your hands, eyes, whole body. Is he wearing underwear to start? He can. Or a three piece suit. Or gym shorts. See where I'm going with this?

And as a bonus, try to imagine what it would feel like for him. Imagine you are hearing him and feeling him react to your touch and feel the excitement as if it's your cock being sucked. It's called subject-subject consciousness, gay spirituality from way back. Like being in the zone for an athlete.

Ultimately, just be yourself, you cocksucker.

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