I don’t know when it really began — not the sex, but the pull. That quiet voice inside me that said you’re not like the others. Not entirely dominant, not fully straight in fantasy, not easy to define. I ignored it for a while. School was school. Girls were attractive. I had crushes. I looked at them, imagined things — typical, right?
But then came the confusion.
There were thoughts I never shared. Ones where power wasn't something I held — it was something taken from me. Slowly. Hypnotically. Not with violence, but control. That theme kept repeating in everything I liked: stories of transformation, submission, mind control. I didn’t just want sex — I wanted to be rewired, broken, owned, or sometimes just… changed.
I’ve always been straight in real life. Still am. But the mind doesn’t follow those rules, does it?
✦ Then the fantasies deepened:
I started picturing dominant characters — men with calm, cruel authority. Sometimes it was a friend. Sometimes a stranger. Sometimes, in fiction, it was a parasite. Something that infiltrated me slowly and made me want what I shouldn’t want.
That’s when I started created stories — In my every story i imagine myself in the most submissive character in some form. Wanting to surrender but afraid of what I’d become.
🖤 What I Know Now after all these years is :
I like power — but not holding it. I like losing it.
I’m straight — but fiction opens doors real life can’t.
I’m not ashamed anymore of the way I imagine submission.
I crave depth, dominance, darkness — not crude sex, but soul-shifting surrender.
This is my truth.
And maybe it’s not finished yet.