I've had a standing appointment with my therapist every Tuesday at 7 for a few months now.
Dan was a soft spoken man, a bit younger than me, and I felt comfortable talking about almost everything with him.
I’d decided to start sessions because I was worried about my relationship. My partner and I had been together for 7 years, and I was starting to worry about our future. Like many long term couples, we still cared about each other deeply, but we’d lost some of our spark together.
I was at Dan’s office at 6:55 - I’m always punctual - but 7 came and went and no Dan. Minutes went by, until finally, at 7:15, I could hear footsteps in the office corridor.
“Patton?” a deep voice called out from inside the office. “Ryan. Dan’s partner in this practice. I’ll be seeing you this evening.”
No apology? Damn. That was rude. I wanted to be angry. I wanted Dan, soft-spoken Dan, patient-with-me Dan.
“Why are you here?” Ryan asked.
Ryan was no-nonsense. He had brown hair, not a hair out of place, and a perfectly trimmed beard. He was a tall man, with a form fitting shirt and large hands and feet. He looked immaculate, down to his thick necktie.
“Well, as Dan’s notes should say, I’m feeling kind of lost in my……”
“No, Patton. I don’t want to hear that. The things you’ve told Dan. I think you’re tip-toeing around the issue. Tell me what you want to accomplish. Why are you here?”
I didn’t have an answer for that, honestly. I’d constructed a whole story about what I thought was happening.
“I’m worried about my partner and I, how we don’t……”
Ryan interjected. “No! I don’t want to hear you redirect blame or pin the issue on your partner, Patton. I want you to tell me, in your own words, what you want. What’s your goal?”
I couldn’t.
It felt so selfish, so greedy.
“Patton.” Ryan spoke, without a hard edge to his voice. “Say it. Say it in this room. It’s just you and me.”
“I want it all,” I whispered.
Ryan made a few notes.
“Okay, let’s unpack that. What does having it all look like?”
“I want the love and trust of a partner, the affection, the caring, knowing that someone else is thinking about you, looking out for you.”
“Okay,” Ryan confirmed, scribbling more notes. “What’s the other part of all?”
I couldn’t say it, couldn’t get the words onto my tongue at first.
“Feeding my hungers,” I finally whispered.
Ryan looked up from his notepad.
“Hungers?”
“I’m always so hungry,” I confessed. “Hungry…..and horny.”
Ryan shifted in his seat. “Say more.”
“Sometimes, I can’t stop thinking about other men. And thinking about them means wanting them. I just want to go somewhere where I can be…..”
I couldn’t finish the sentence.
“Be what, Patton?” Ryan finally asked, gently. “Be what?”
“A hole.”
Ryan looked up from his notes. I tried to maintain his glance, but I looked at my hands in my lap, shaking.
“I cherish my partner and the intimacy we have together,” I said, after a long moment of silence. “But sometimes, I just want to experience……another man. Using my mouth, or my ass.”
Ryan’s pen was flat on his tablet. His hands loosened his tie. Fuck, he was so handsome. I wished his tablet wasn’t covering his crotch.
“That hunger….how does it make you feel?”
I looked out the window, down to the street a few floors below, where so many men in suit and ties were still leaving the crowded city center.
“Insatiable,” I finally said. “Like I’ll never quite be satisfied.”
Ryan stroked the hair on his face, his hands patting down his tie a few times. The more I saw of Ryan’s big hands, the more I wanted to touch him, taste him, kneel in front of him.
I knew I couldn’t, that I shouldn’t, that no patient should break that boundary.
“So you have issues with impulse control? Boundaries?” Ryan asked. “Has this happened before?”
I nodded.
“Before my partner. It was……my boss. A few of them. My best girlfriend’s fiance. My best friend’s dad.”
I looked Ryan in the eye.
“And my stepdad.”
Ryan’s face remained blank - no expression, no shocked face.
“I wish…..”
“You wish what, Patton?”
“Right now….I wish I was overstepping a boundary with my therapist.”
I watched as Ryan’s long fingers went to the zipper of his tailored gray dress slacks and slowly unzip them. Ryan pulled out his cock, long and hard, already dripping, and stood up, slowly walking over to me.
Ryan gently rubbed his cockhead all over my lips and face before pushing his knob into my mouth. He grabbed the back of my head and rocked back and forth, riding my tongue, fucking my mouth.
He was quiet, except for some heavy breathing, but I could tell Ryan was already close, and I wanted his cum so much, more than anything, so I kept sucking and slurping and put my hands on his ass to pull him closer. He hissed and then fired seven or eight blasts in my mouth, rapid succession, a nice salty load.
He smiled at me and looked down, looked at my sticky lips, cum drooling from the corners of my mouth.
“We might have to have some additional sessions, Patton. Maybe some at my home.”
Just then, Ryan’s cell dinged.
“Sorry, let me take this quickly,” he said, as he stepped out of the office.
A few moments later, after I’d turned my own cell phone back on, it buzzed.
It was Dan, my therapist - my original one.
“Patton! I’ve been trying to get a hold of you. I’m sorry I couldn’t make it tonight, there was an emergency.”
“It’s OK, Dan - I’ve been talking with your fellow therapist here in the office.”
There was a long pause.
“What other therapist, Patton? It’s only me in the office.”
My mind raced.
“He said his name was Ryan…?”
“Oh, no….no, no, no. Ryan’s not a therapist. Ryan’s a member of one of my therapy groups - the male sex addiction group.”
Just then, Ryan walked back into the office.
“You ready to go, Patton? Back to my place?”
I hung up on Dan, and smiled at Ryan as I grabbed my coat and followed him out.
