1.
This is what you need to know about Giovanni Pasquale. He’s twenty, and lives at home with me, his brother, and our mother. He talks about moving out, but never does. You know the type. He’s kind of a Guido, with the shittiest taste in everything, including his stupid diamond earring big as a doorknob. He can’t manage almost anything, including his girlfriends and their drama. He’s gotten two of them pregnant so far, and neither of these girls was an Einstein but they were both smart enough to get abortions instead of making a baby be born with Gio as a father.
Still, he does some things well. He’s a natural athlete without hardly trying. He’s amazing at baseball when he wants to be. That’s what everyone says anyway, I’m not such an expert.
So he’s in good shape even though he has no discipline at all. He eats like a fucking horse but it just goes to his muscles, which are all smooth and curved. He gets along with guys real easy, even our asshole father. Shit just rolls off his back, y’know?
And me? I spent a summer sucking his cock.
I always had a thing for Gio. He’s always so fucking horny, and trying to get with girls for as long as I can remember. His browser history was my entree into porno, and I loved seeing what he got off to. And like I said, he’s in shape. Not like bodybuilder shape or anything, but his proportions were just right – flat abs, the way his chest swells up with a couple of perfect, soft-looking nipples just begging to be sucked on.
He was only a little hairy on top, but he kept it shaved, like grooming was his religion, except for those dark nests in his pits that disappeared right into his biceps. When he walked by, you could almost feel the heat radiating off him, that kind of dumb, physical energy that was just him.
Unless it’s freezing cold he mostly has no use for shirts anyway, so almost all year it’s a free tit show, all his muscles rolling under his skin. A lot of girls say he’s cute, but mostly I see his hawk nose and his too groomed hair. But he does have a nice shape to his face, and a cute mouth, I have to admit. Every time he moved, it was a view you didn't want to miss.
But it’s really more the body that does it for me, and his fucking OCD about getting laid. As his brother I see more of him than anyone. I’ve seen his cock a lot in the bathroom we share, but I can’t say I ever saw it hard before last year. And he has a nice looking ass too, curved, smooth as cream and just as white.
If you think it’s gross that I’m into my brother that way, there’s not much I can say. Gio’s around me all the time, half naked and built and, like a living sex bomb, and I happen to be susceptible to that shit. I’m into guys, duh. And even though I shoot my mouth off with people I know well, I’m super shy with strangers, and I’m eighteen, which means I don’t have any fucking outlets but my hand. So sue me, I’m only human.
How did Gio end up hot, dumb and full of cum while I ended up with social anxiety, good grades and the urge to suck cock? Luck of the fucking draw, man. I figure being born a homo saved me. You might look at this unsatisfactory situation and think Gio got the better deal. But every guy my neighborhood my age but me was a screw up in school, and I always was just different. They were chasing tail and I was reading and shit.
Jerking off thinking about guys while they partied might seem pathetic, and I guess it is. But I sure wasn’t going to get some girl pregnant and spend my life on a shit job paying for a kid I didn’t even want. I’m going to college and getting a decent job where I get vacations and a hot boyfriend.
And I sure as hell—unlike my brother—am not getting into a fight with another douchenozzle about some skank girl, and ending up on house arrest with a motherfucking ankle bracelet. Nice going, Gio, you fucking stupe.
2.
Ma’s a manager and hostess at a nice restaurant. And I mean really nice. So nice that Gio doesn’t even get why anyone pays those prices because it’s “not even classy”, which means it’s not gaudy enough for him. So Ma’s not around most nights, just me and Gio making the place testosterone city.
When Ma’s not at home, we eat watching TV, burp and fart, whatever. Half the time, one of us has his hand on his dick. Not jacking it, you fucking perv, just cause sometimes your hand just wants something to hold onto. One night, a while before the house arrest thing, we were watching Game of Thrones marathon together. We both liked the action, and also there’s boobs for Gio, and Jon Snow for me.
Gio asked which princess I thought was hotter, the redhead or the blonde with the twisted smile. I told him neither was a princess, and he just said “you know what I mean,” which I did. Gio does not sweat the details.
“That show is hot,” he said, “but fucked up for that brother and sister to be doing it.”
“First off,” I replied, “Jon Snow’s not her brother. But second, yeah, you look like you’re real upset about it.” I nodded to where he had his hand down his sweats.
“Whatever, man,” he scoffed. “Callie thinks she’s pregnant and won’t fuck till she knows for sure, so I’m horny.”
“Pregnant? Fuck, Gio, use a condom. Ma’s gonna’ go crazy.”
“I can’t get off with a condom,” he said. “Besides she’s hardly even pregnant, so why not fuck? The baby’s not gonna’ care.”
“Man,” I said, “you have a one track mind. What about oral?” I mimicked jerking a cock into an open mouth.
“With Callie?”
“No, with me, dumbshit.” I had my own hand down my shorts too, from Gio talking about his fucking sex life.
“She don’t even wanna’ see me till she knows if she’s pregnant,” he said. “So THAT is not happening.”
I guess thinking about his thick, baby-making sperm made me bold, or maybe just desperate. So I tried to act all casual, like it was just a regular idea, and just like that I said I would suck his dick.
He called me a retard, same old Gio, but I swallowed the insult, felt my face burn, and said it again, just a little louder this time. Said I’d just suck it a little, like it was no big deal.
I was giving my own dick a nice slow stroke then, so maybe he took me more serious. So what the fuck, I got down on the ground in front of him on the couch, and pulled back his sweats so his dick could pop out. Must have felt good for his boner to stand up like that, because Gio didn’t stop me yet.
I know in these stories it’s always the biggest monster dick anyone ever saw, like it’s cockzilla or something. That wasn’t Gio, but it was pretty big, bigger than I expected. And it had a nice smooth curve to it, pretty thick top to bottom but got smaller at the head, which made it seem like it would be easier going in.
My hand was trembling a little as I reached for it, trying to act like I knew what the hell I was doing. I gave it a few slow strokes with my hand, just to get the feel, because this was the first dick I ever touched but mine. I licked it some, and then finally put my mouth on it. The head was getting firm and I sucked on it—so far so good—so I opened my mouth wider and went further down.
It was fucking weird that first time, having someone else’s body in my mouth. I was trying to suck it, going down as much as I could—and it’s not like you think it’s gonna be, like Jesus lord I swallowed the whole thing down to the grizzly pubes. That’s some fucking fantasy. Instead you’re like, Jesus lord, I’m gonna gag and I’m not even half way down. So I tried harder and like a fucking jerk I gagged, loud enough for him to hear. Sue me, it was my first time.
Gio pushed me off then, and said I was stupid and went to his bedroom to finish himself off. I wanted to follow him and do it some more, but what the fuck ever. Just knowing he was jerking it with my spit all over his dick was making me crazy—plus I kept thinking of his dick, hard as fuck and in my mouth. It didn’t take but a stroke or two for me to jizz right there in the living room with Game of Thrones on TV. Weirdest fucking jackoff soundtrack ever.
3.
Gio’s girl Callie was pregnant it turned out. That made number two if he was keeping a checklist of trashy girls he got knocked up. Number two abortion too, thank God for Planned Parenthood. Callie’s Ma told our Ma and you should have seen the yelling. She bought a big box of condoms and threw it right at Gio at the kitchen table. That made me wanna’ laugh, but I kept my own mouth shut because I didn’t need no drama with neither of them. I got SATs and my own shit to worry about.
I got to thinking about how Gio looked good and how he’s always getting with girls, and I’m his brother and supposed to be made of the same genes and stuff. So I thought maybe I could get to looking good and get myself my own honey—a cute guy with a hot body and a nice smile. I was going to be a senior and it would be nice to not have to graduate high school a lame ass virgin. I wanted to be able to go to college a man with some experience.
Fuck, I just wanted to be normal and do normal shit like kiss someone, right? I looked at myself in the mirror, which I do not like, because I feel like a fucking stick figure next to Gio and all his muscles. But I tried to see myself like if I was someone else, and I thought maybe not so bad. Skinny and flat as a rail, but all the right parts, not a pig’s tail or nothing. I was getting more hairy than Gio, with some on my chest and stomach and a lot on my legs. If I flexed hard I could see some muscles in my arms, so I figured I’d work on that. Go with what you got, right? Nothing to do about the face—a lot like Gio’s but thinner, same family nose (thanks Ma), same black hair too that I never know what the fuck to do with it. Gio, I swear to God, must spend two hours a day on his hair, and I’m the one who’s supposed to be the homo.
I started doing push-ups and used Gio’s dumbells. One day Gio saw me and he laughed, and I was going to put them down and never look back. But he said he was just laughing because I wasn’t even holding them right, so he showed me. I watched his biceps swell up as he lifted and thought my boner was going to take all the blood from the rest of my body, that’s how fucking hot it was.
Then he made sure I did it right, and that was even hotter, because Gio never did anything nice for me before and I kind of liked it. After a few weeks I thought my arms looked better. Honest, anyone else would still see stickboy, but I felt like I won the fucking Nobel Prize for Biceps.
Then Gio really fucks up BIG TIME, just like he always does. He gets in a fight right in the street with another asshole just like him, like Battle of the Douchebags, over stupid fucking Callie, and how she’s a skank or not a skank, or whatever.
That’s what straight guys do, right? They all want ‘em to be skanks, but also not skanks. Ugh straight guys. I still want to fuck them so bad, straight guys, but I don’t understand them to save my life. Maybe that’s how gay guys are fucked up, not understanding the thing we want to get with, just like how straight guys are fucked up about girls, right?
Anyway, things get violent and the police get called. There’s charges, and court. Thank God for two things, one it’s Gio’s first offense, two Ma makes Dad call his cousin Charlie who’s in the highway patrol to get Gio off. Cousin Charlie says he’s highway patrol, so he has no say in this, but Ma makes Dad nag him. So whatever, cousin Charlie does whatever cops do behind the scenes, and Gio gets four months house arrest, no jail.
“Thank the Lord,” said Ma. Like having Gio in the house 24/7 is a blessing from God instead of new kind of problem.
So Ma runs the jail during the day, and she works dinner shift so that makes me the night warden. And just in case he has funny ideas, Gio gets the ankle thing clamped on by the court so he can’t be out causing trouble. Honest, it would be funny if it wasn’t so fucking stupid.
And that’s how we arrive at us spending the summer together. He can’t go do the things he normally does, and Ma layed down the law. Number one, no girls in her house because she doesn’t want to hear about another abortion because her dumbass son can’t put a rubber on his thing. Number two, none of his shit-for-brains degenerate friends over either. She made Gio swear to God on her life, and to kiss her crucifix. Then she told me to swear the same that I wouldn’t let his hos or bros over at night while she’s at work, and I said Ma I’m an atheist, and she said don’t talk stupid, so I swore to God and kissed the crucifix and that was that.
4.
Maybe you heard of some men in prison who use their incarceration to learn law and become attorneys or scholars. Real inspiring shit. But this was not Shawshank Redemption, which we must have seen a hundred times because it’s always on TV, and Gio was not one of them kind of guys.
Gio did what other guys do in prison, the ones who don’t become lawyers, because he’s more the kind that needs lawyers than becomes one. He worked out all the time, watched TV and tanned in Ma’s little back yard where she grows her good tomatoes, not the flavorless shitty ones you get at the grocery store.
You’d be surprised how all of that still leaves a lot of hours in the day, especially if you don’t read or have interests, which Gio didn’t. He just prowled the house like a pissed off tiger at the zoo, looking for trouble and the more he couldn’t find the more pissed off he got.
“This is bullshit” I must have heard five hundred times. Also “They can’t do this, this is solitary confinement, that’s illegal!” I pointed out to shit-for-brains that the fact he was telling me, another person, as we sat there together eating cereal, that he was in solitary confinement was by definition not possible.
He just said “By definition fuck off” then walked away, so I could watch his ass cheeks going up and down in his sweats. Fuck, what an ass. It wasn’t exactly the Lincoln Douglas debates in my house, but Gio’s got his own style.
The other thing about him being trapped at home all the time is my thing for Gio was really getting out of hand. He was always hot, but now he was at home working out all the time. He brought his weight bench up from the basement and put it right in the living room, and was working his weight right there no matter how much Ma complained.
I could see him lifting, and hear all his grunts and gasps and it’s not like he gives a shit I’m there. His back was getting wider, and his pecs had this overhang now, practically daring you to run a hand over them. He’s walking around with his pumped up muscles and his low riding track pants where you can see the shape of his dick. And I’m there in the prime of my life, teenage testosterone pumping in my blood like liquid Viagara, and I don’t know another homo in all the world I can get together to fucking sin with.
Maybe if I had hobbies or friends to get out with I would have some other guy to think about, but that summer, every night and every day, Gio was the only game in town. He just got more built, the days got hotter and he wore less, and I was horned up all the fucking time.
Weekends were hardest for him to be trapped at home with only me for company. He was used to hanging with his bros and hos, and even if half of them didn’t have jobs or anything, Saturday was still their big party night.
After the first few weekends under house arrest, he asked me to go to the store and get him some beers. I reminded him I’m not legal to buy, and I don’t have a fake ID because my boring-as-fuck lifestyle does not call for one.
He told me to use one of his fake IDs. I swear, he has more IDs than Jason Bourne. So I asked who that was gonna’ fool because a, it’s fake, and b, it’s not even my fake. But he said his photo was a little old when he was skinnier and it could be me easy. I said no way, but he showed it to me. And looking there in the mirror I could see Gio was right for a change. It did look a lot like me, and I could see maybe we looked alike after all.
I told him I didn’t know we looked that alike and he just said, “Duh, stupe. We’re brothers.” I guess that stuck in my head, that we looked alike. I know I’m the smarter one, which, face it is not much of a high bar, but I guess I don’t even understand what I look like. But I liked that maybe someone could think I was him, even on just a dumb fake ID.
So I told him I’d do it, but I wanted something in return, which was to blow him again. Even when he told me to get the fuck out, I stayed firm with my offer. BJs for beers.
“You did that once,” he said, “and no offense but not the best I ever had.”
“So what,” I said, “you can tell me how to do it better. You can watch a porno while I do it, tell me how you want it, I don’t give a shit. ”
“You turning into a cocksucker?” he asked.
Since when was he ever so interested in what I was, anyway?
“I don’t know,” I said. “I don’t know what I am. I’m just horny, and you’re horny, so what the fuck. Win win.”
“Get the beers first,” he said after a while. “I’m gonna’ want to be buzzed.”
5.
We promised Ma no skanks and no douchebags in the house, but we never promised no beers. She must have been off her game to not include drinks in her list where she made us swear on her life. By this point she usually knew what we’d get into before we knew ourselves. But maybe she figured Gio couldn’t get out of the house for booze, and figured I never would.
I have bad enough social anxiety just buying regular shit in the store, so you’d think I’d be a fucking flop sweating wreck using a fake ID. But I was still high off thinking I look like him, being a douchebag stud and all, and all I could think about was getting in Gio’s pants. His sweats, anyway. So fuck Paxil, the promise of getting some nut is maybe all I needed after all. Put that in a TV ad, I dare you.
Gio had one beer and started another, and I was still barely a quarter through my first. I was not drinking this for the taste, I promise you. How Gio and his buddies drink this piss like it’s the fucking nectar of the gods is a mystery to me. And then we got to it.
We went to his room, and he put on a porno on his shitty computer. He put in his earbuds, thank God, so I didn’t have to listen to some cheap whore’s fake screams. Straight guys are so fucking dumb.
He stroked his dick under his sweats watching his vid, and I sat there on the floor of his bedroom waiting. When he got it nice and hard he pulled it out. Last time we did this was so fast and I didn’t know what would happen, but this time Gio had his porno and his beer, and he couldn’t even hear me, so I took my time. I ran my tongue around the thick, slick head, pulling back nice and slow to lap the shaft, then down to suck his balls, swirling them in my mouth. I could see him looking at his porn, and he wasn’t stopping me.
I practiced going down on his dick from different angles, experimenting, trying to find that perfect throat-filling depth. Gio every now and then wrapped his fist around the base like he wanted to jerk it, his knuckles brushing my jaw, but he let me keep going, his hips starting to twitch. He couldn’t hold back no more and did give himself a good stroke, a deep groan rumbled in his chest, and when I saw the big bead of precum he squeezed out of his dick I got a little crazed. I put my mouth on it and went down as far as I could, pushing deep, past my gag reflex. To tell you the truth, I didn’t care about anything right then. The whole house could have burned down around us and I’d still be there on his boner, sucking him off.
Then Gio just said That’s enough, and shoved me back hard on my ass. He worked his dick, all slicked up from spit and his precum, and I spat in my hand to do the same, sitting on his floor. I watched as his hand moved, fast and strong. The sound of his fist on his cock was wet, and had me squirming. His jaw clenched, and the fucking muscles in his shoulders and chest tensed, and blew his load, a thick, white gush on his belly and the tank top he had draped there. Jesus Christ.
I came too—hot and fast, onto my hand and the floor. I didn’t even fucking know it was happening.
He mopped up his dick with his tank top and went to the bathroom. I sat there, seeing for him it was like nothing happened. And I was pissed off because I had this stupid feeling, like I really wanted to hug him or something. Like why would I ever want to hug a douchebag Guido like Gio, if I was in my right mind, which I wasn’t.
See? Dick will fuck you up if you let it.
It kept on killing him every Saturday, knowing his crew was out partying. So it became our regular party night, just the two of us. I’d go out for beers with his fake ID, we’d watch some TV, then Gio would bust out some porn and I would try to get him to bust a nut.
He’d finish off with his hand, and boom, end of the party. Then I’d round up the beer bottles and caps, walk them down the street and dump them in a neighbor’s trash before Ma got home.
I got carried away sometimes and would joke in front of Ma about Saturday being party night. I knew it wasn’t cool, but it was going to my head because first off I was getting cock, and secondly I never went to real parties because of my social anxiety thing, so it was this really cool that Gio and I had a Saturday night thing, even if to him it was stupid.
He told me to be chill, so I kept that shit to myself and stopped talking about party night out loud, but I looked forward to it all week every week.
The first time Gio came in my mouth I almost snorted his jizz out my nose, I fucking swear. I didn’t know what the fuck was happening, but his cock that was already so big in my mouth chubbed up even more and got even more stiff. Like, impossibly. I was all Whoa, what the fuck, and then there was this hot spooge, thick and salty and so much of it, gushing into my mouth. It was more than I could hold and I spat it out, a warm, slick mess. By the time I tried to get my mouth back on his cock he was pumping out the last of it and didn’t want me to do no more.
After that time, I was ready. When his cock would swell up like that, filling my throat tight, I’d inhale through my nose and start gulping down. God, he could cum a lot. I’d swallow it all, every hot, slick drop, as much as I could, till Gio said to get off his dick, and then I’d stop and jerk myself off.
After the first couple of months Gio heard from one of his bros that his girl Callie moved on and was hooking up with some other douchebag, which you figure is gonna’ happen. Party girl ain’t gonna wait.
He said he didn’t care, but he was pissed off, you could tell.
“Tell you what,” he said, “she is a skank. I defended that bitch for nothing.”
“You like skanks,” I said. “And skanks like you.”
“You should know,” he said, and I asked what did he mean by that. Gio leaned at me and said kind of fierce, “Bro, YOU are the biggest degenerate skank of all.” He mock grabbed his junk in his sweats and said, “I see you looking at this all night, but it ain’t your ‘party night’, is it?” He made a stupid mean face, and turned to watch the TV.
I guess it upset him his girl was partying with some other Guido and he was stuck here with just me. But I was feeling bad, because for a long time I was careful to not put myself in a position where Gio could hurt my feelings, and now I got caught. Sometimes I’m pretty smart, sometimes not.
“Don’t tease me,” I said. It took a lot to say that out loud because I could feel my social anxiety real bad, right in my own house with my own brother.
After a while he said sorry, and said I could do it if I wanted, even though it was Wednesday and not our regular party night. We didn’t even have beers, and he didn’t make a move to get his laptop to put on a porno. I put his soft dick in my mouth right there while he watched tv and sucked it till it got hard, and even all the way till he came in my mouth. I swallowed it all, every drop, and Gio rested a hand on my head and I liked that a lot.
Maybe after everything he just liked having someone around who wanted him inside them.
We started doing it like that on the regular after that, not just party nights. My head game was getting strong. He maybe didn’t mean to, but Gio was training me up perfect with what he liked. He never said it with words, but I got real good at reading his body language and all his sounds. I guess that’s why he let me do it more and more often. I could swallow the whole thing with hardly choking, and I did that a lot.
Sometimes it wasn’t such a big deal, like I’d just suck it long and slow while he watched TV, not trying to jizz, just feeling good.
There were still some rules though. There was no kissing mostly, and for sure no tongues if I did get a little near his mouth. I couldn’t stray too far from his cock or balls, even though I really wanted to. Once on the sofa during one of the kind of slow blowjobs I kissed his stomach and latched on to a nipple and sucked it.
“Get off my tit,” he said as I was really getting into it, “you can suck on my dick if you want to.”
So I did. He never sucked my dick, never jerked it, never thought about it as far as I could tell. I did not give a shit.
Tragically, Gio’s ass was off limits too. I let my finger stray down down to his hole, but he clamped tight and pulled back from me. He didn’t say I couldn’t do it, but he didn’t have to because his body language was way fucking clear. What the fuck ever, I was getting cock regular, so I could take some compromise with it.
6.
It seems crazy, but the more I sucked off Gio the easier it was to get ready for SATs. Being horny is distracting, but after you nut it’s easier to get focused on other things. So the more we did our thing together, the more I could actually concentrate. Up until the night before I tested.
The truth is I was scared as shit about college. I was like that with grade school so Ma kept me back for as long as she could, almost a year which made me almost a year older than every other kid in my class. But college? No one in our family ever went, and I was making it up on the fly. We didn’t know shit about SATs or applications, or how do you even pick a college anyway?
The night before the SATs we ordered a pizza and tried to chill out. I must have been twitchy because Gio was being nice, and even asked what I wanted to do after college. I told him I didn’t know, but I thought maybe be a lawyer. I don’t know where the fuck that came from – never gave a thought to being a lawyer in my whole fucking life. The truth is, I didn’t have anything figured out after college. I just wanted to be like a professional person who got some respect and could buy nice things, and didn’t have to live in a shitty neighborhood where you could hear people shouting to each other out their windows all the time.
Gio said maybe he should get his GED, and wanted to know could he get into college with a GED. I swear, I never heard him talk about even a GED at all before, much less college. “What for?” I asked, “Like, what degree?”
“Like, business,” he answered.
When I asked what kind of business he said, “Like with money. You know, with a fancy Italian suit and a big ass tie.”
I thought about it and said, “Maybe like sports business. You’d be really good at that.”
A few months ago I would have told him he was a dumbass, but right then, looking at him, I just felt bad for the guy. I didn’t know what the fuck “sports business” was or if it was even a thing, but it seemed like he’d like the idea. So sue me, I had a weak moment. I’m just human.
Then I blew him, and came in my own hand while he dumped his cock snot deep in my throat.
7.
By then Gio’s house arrest was almost over. You’d figure he’d be the happiest fucker on the planet. But something was bugging him. I guess it was that I did my SATs and was getting ready to apply to college and he had nothing to show for the summer, unless you count dumping your load down your brother’s throat a few dozen times. He told me he wanted a big favor, and that was to take the GED for him.
How could I even do that, I asked, they must take ID to prove who you are. That was my excuse, but also I was scared of getting caught doing something wrong that would fuck up my going to college. But Gio had it figured out: the fake ID we’d been using for the last few months for beer.
If we were a different family I’d tell you I refused to take the GED for him. I’d tell you I offered to coach him instead, and then he went on to ace it. Very inspirational, and everyone learned something about themselves. But we’re not that kind of family. Instead what I said was I’d do it, but I wanted a big payoff. I’d take his GED for him, and in return he’d fuck me in the butt.
At first he said Hell no, no way. The reaction on him, you’d think I’d asked him to put it in him. Like he was such a choirboy anyway. But he eased up when I said I really didn’t want to graduate from high school a virgin.
Then he said maybe, but insisted he would use a condom. It figures, right, my brother who is getting girls knocked up left and right because he doesn’t want a condom on his dick decides now is the time to try one.
“You know I’d be like the first person you put it in who couldn’t get pregnant, right?” I asked.
“It’s not that,” he said, rolling his eyes. “I don’t want to put my dick in, y’know, your turds.”
“You’re telling me you never wanted to fuck a girl in the ass?” I asked.
“Well yeah,” he said, “but they’re girls.”
“You do know, don’t you, that girls also shit out of their asses, right? Tell me you know that.”
He shrugged. Like I said, Gio does not sweat the details.
8.
So the day after Gio got out of house arrest I took his GED for him.
Unlike the SATs I had no stress about the test. I just worried I would forget I was supposed to be Gio and use my name instead. It was the only test in my life where the only question I worried about getting right was my name.
At home that night I made sure to take a shit so Gio wouldn’t have to fuck my turds. We didn’t have fancy lubes in our house, but I got out some old Vaseline from Ma’s bedroom. I put on some music, The Weeknd because I really like that song I Feel It Coming. Not because I mean like “cumming” you perv. It just makes me feel happy, like things are going to be okay.
We got in Gio’s bed and he worked up a boner without looking at me. He put on a condom, one of the ones Ma threw at him that time. I almost had to laugh remembering it, but Gio didn’t look like he had much sense of humor and I didn’t want to push my luck.
I just let him smear the Vaseline on his dick, my eyes glued to his hand, getting off on the wet, smacking sounds and how his pec rolled and flexed when he stroked it. The air in the room already felt thick, hot. He told me to lie flat on my belly, and I did, pressing my face into the pillow, trying to breathe, and then he got on my back.
It felt really good to have his weight on me, the mattress sinking under us, which I never thought about before. Then there was something dull and firm pushing against my butt as Gio tried to find his way—you’d think an expert like him would know. But he found his way and his dickhead was nudging at my hole, the cool Vaseline slicking the way.
I caught my breath as his hardon began to push up into me, slow but real steady. It was really happening.
It felt like I was taking the world’s biggest dump in reverse, stretching me open inside. Gio kept pushing in slow, maybe to be sure I was okay, maybe waiting for me to moan “Oh my God it’s so big, I can’t take it you stud,” or whatever his girls say.
I guess I should be glad he was going slow, because he actually is pretty big down there. I just so wanted it to happen. He finally stopped, and I felt him heavy in me—he was all up in me.
“It’s good,” I said, gulping air.
I know a lot of guys act like it hurts so much. Maybe that makes them seem more straight or more virgin or something. But not me. I hate to sound like an old whore with an open window for an ass, but after the first weird feeling I took it just fine. Like I was meant for it. Maybe I finally found my one physical thing I’m good at, and it just happened to be taking dick.
I let my hand grab around his thick wrist and forearm. He let me. Jesus his forearm was so hard. Then—surprise—he slid back, almost out of me, and all of a sudden I wanted it back, even the stretch of it.
When he pushed back in, my breath really caught, and my hand on his arm tightened, then relaxed. That felt like the best thing ever. He did it again, and every time my insides were hungry to be filled. He got faster, his strokes in and out of me longer, each landing deeper.
I was already feeling not in control, like I usually am. “Holy fuck Gio,” I gasped, the sounds coming out of me without even thinking, my grip on his wrist tighter, my butt pushing back against him.
“You gonna cum?” he asked, his voice rough and low.
“Not yet,” I grunted, my fingers digging into him. Jesus, it was just a few minutes. Was I supposed to spooge already? “I wanna get on my back,” I said. “I can’t touch my dick like this.”
Truth is my boner was leaking precum, sliding up against the mattress with every thrust. It made me squirm, and I could have got off that way. Really, I just wanted to see him doing it too—I just didn’t say it, because Gio don’t need to know everything about me.
Anyway, he said okay and slid his stiffy out of me with this wet, sucking sound. I felt so empty then I could have cried. It’s crazy how one minute you can hardly take something going in you, and then when it’s gone you’re not whole without it.
“Turn over,” he said, and made a circle motion with his fingers. I didn’t hardly know how to move my own body anymore so it took a minute and he said, “Come on, before I change my mind.”
I got on my back with my knees up and my feet on the mattress. He tried to get in some kind of position without touching me too much, which is stupid. Then he asked how we do this, which is even more stupid because it is pretty fucking well established that I’m the virgin here. But I pulled my legs back and he looked down, stroking his big hard dick, and then just got on me. “Like wrestling,” I said, hoping to make it seem more natural to a jock like him. He finally gave up and lifted my legs up over his shoulders, and one shin got greased up from his Vaseline-slicked hand, but I didn’t care.
He felt around to target his schlong and pushed it in again, not all slow this time. Just slid it in fast, like I was a pro now. I felt whole again. He stayed there, heavy in me, till he saw in my face it was good, and his hips started to roll, pushing deeper.
“That okay?” he asked, his breath rough, when he got his fuck on. “It’s not hurting, like, your organs?”
“Gio, I hate to break it to you, but your dick’s not in my organs,” I answered, a little breathless. I didn’t call him a stupe or anything.
He shrugged, a grunt, like 'Whatever,' and let himself slam into me.
Jesus, his cock hit a spot that sent a jolt through my whole body. Maybe it really was an organ, but I didn’t care. I just wanted him to fuck me just like that. And he did, driving in and nearly out again, hard and steady. I could feel his strength in it and took it all in. He relaxed some, forearms resting over my shins, kind of like I’d seen him do with a baseball bat over one shoulder.
He let his hips just roll, grinding his cock up inside of me, real smooth and focused like he knew just what he was doing. His chest and shoulders and biceps looked so strong. I don’t have the words for how good he looked—like he was made for this, and I guess perfect.
I felt like I must look like a stick figure on a sign about don’t fall down the stairs, but Gio looked me over, my chest and shoulders and everything and said, “You look fit,” and I could have died right there happy.
“You like that?” he asked, looking down at me licking his lips. I was jerking myself now. Maybe seeing he was getting me off made it good for him, I don’t know.
“Fuck yeah,” I said. “Just one thing. Gio, nut in me.”
“I can’t,” he said, still pumping into me, steady.
“I can’t do it with a rubber on.”
“Gio please,” I groaned.
He kept stroking, looking into my face, and just said, “Aw fuck.”
He pulled out of me one more time, real sudden, and I had that same empty feeling, like the fucking core of me was gone. But after he snapped off the condom and threw it on the floor, he plunged back in fast. He sighed and I thought of how you get out of a hot bathtub into the cold and get right back in again—that good.
He was in me raw, the way he fucked his girls, and I swear I almost came right then.
“Is that good?” I asked.
“It’s not putting pussy out of business,” he said, but I knew that douchebag’s face and I could see him liking it well enough. “It’s okay.”
He rested more of his weight on me this time, pushing my legs all the way back against my shoulders. I guess he was serious about nutting because he was really dog humping me now, fast, like he was scratching a bad itch with his hips. I didn’t dare touch my own dick, and didn’t need to because between our bellies and precum it was getting a good workout. We were both breathing real hard and his face was almost on mine.
“Go on,” he grunted, holding pace, “fucking cum.”
I couldn’t help it no more and tried to put my mouth on his, even though Gio’s got his no-kissing thing. But this time he let me. He was breathing like a fucking racehorse, and his tongue flicked onto mine.
I started to lose it and he slid his greased up hand between us and rubbed it on my dick. I couldn’t help it, I fucking exploded with cum, hitting his hand and shooting between our bellies, gushing over and over.
“Oh FUCK!” I yelled. Gio looked down like he was afraid he was killing me, but I guess when he saw that he was fucking a load right out of me with his big cock he just groaned real loud, and shoved in deep as he could.
His whole body spasmed and he pushed, like he was trying to pour his whole self into me. I pulled him closer, digging my fingers into his ass. And even though I thought I knew how beautiful Gio was, this was something else, something special. His lips trembled, almost a quiver, and all his muscles, from his jaw down to his legs, clenched tight, then slowly released. It was the most beautiful thing I ever saw.
He trembled a few times and then untensed, and he stopped. He was breathing hard and sweating, and I could feel his Guido jock heart in his meaty chest beating against my hand. He slid out of me. It felt empty, but not so bad as before.
“You okay?” he asked, resting back on his knees. I slid a hand over my jizz covered belly, like checking myself out.
“I think something’s wrong,” I said, and he looked all concerned. Then I said, “Gio... I think you got me pregnant!”
I laughed and he smacked my head with his open hand and said, “Get the fuck out, you fucking retard.”
He hoisted himself off the bed, and walked to the bathroom. Lying there in my mess, full of his nut, I watched his beautiful back and the perfect white globes of his ass, and I wished a little that he really had knocked me up.
9.
Gio’s prison was my palace that summer. But all palaces are temporary palaces.
Like guys in real prison who take up with other guys there but go back to girls when they get out, as soon as house arrest was over Gio was back to his old ways with his asshole crew. No more “party nights” with me, now that he had his Saturday night bros and hos.
I aced my SATs and applied to colleges. What, did you think I was a stupe?
And did you know you have to pay to apply to colleges? Not to get in, just to fucking apply. Every time! And you don’t get no refund for your application if you don’t get in.
What the fuck ever, but seriously, how’s a guy supposed to get ahead?
In my freshman year at college, Ma let me know Gio got another girl pregnant, and this one stuck. I thought she would kick him out, but she sounded happy about a baby coming, which didn’t make no sense at all.
So Gio turned 22 with a fake GED I took for him, and he was going to be a dad. I guess I didn’t see no career as a sports businessman in his future any time soon. Ah Gio, you stupid fucking fuck.
I didn’t linger on it too long. I had school work, and a work study job too, so I didn’t have too much time to worry about drama back home.
Plus I got a boyfriend, Keith.
He’s a nerd like me, but he's also kind of a jock too, solid in a way I never thought a nerd could be, with a smile that gets me every time. He even says crazy shit, like he wants to eat me up sometimes. And he has red hair, pubes and all. And yes we have sex all the time, and we both do everything, which is what you call versatile.
Can you believe it? What kind of fucking name is Keith? I sometimes wonder what he’s doing with someone like me, but I don’t ask that out loud because I don’t want to put ideas in his head. He’s sweet to me, and his parents are real nice. They’re super regular, like a TV family. They both went to college, and they have a nice house where there’s no fake IDs, no house arrests and no blowjob bargain for beers.
They live just a couple of hours from college, so we spend the night there every few weeks to do laundry and eat like pigs for free. I use good grammar there, which maybe you don’t think I know, but I do, and good manners too. Like, when Keith’s mom puts out some weird-ass lasagna with cottage cheese instead of ricotta, I say, “Oh, thank you, Mrs. Miller, it looks delicious!” instead of, “What the fuck is this?”
They let us share a bed when we spend the night, because that’s how fucking classy they are, they’re okay with a homo son and his bigger homo boyfriend. What a world.
Sometimes at night in bed in his parents’ house Keith snuggles up behind me, like that spoon thing. If I’m awake for a while I’ll think about how we can live just like this, and have careers and a nice life and a house with no drama, no yelling, maybe adopt some kids. I’ll feel him next to me and think about how perfect it is, and how lucky I am to have Keith. But every now and then I think maybe in my secret heart of hearts I’m just a degenerate skank, and wish he was Gio instead.
END
