Waking up

I’m not an asshole. I simply have learned to make things right. My story is twisted and bizarre, and if I hadn’t lived through it myself, I would have a hard time believing it possible. But it is all true.

I first met Jamie in college. He was introduced to me by a friend with whom I lost touch. He told me he was bi, but pretty soon I learned he was the biggest whore I would ever meet. In the overall looks he wasn’t that impressive. In fact, I often thought we were pretty much in the same league. But he had the most perfect ass I had ever seen, and he was a fearless, shameless, and greedy bottom slut. But he was always secretive, as he wanted everyone to believe he was into girls. Though I was exclusively a top, I almost immediately realized we were destined to be friends, never anything else. In fact, I might be the one man in his life who didn’t fuck him. He even fucked his cousins, attributing it to just being part of growing up. But I knew that he was just a slut. Remorseless and perpetually horny.

We quickly became good friends, and for every virtue he had—always happy-go-lucky, funny, and always up to hang out—there was the other side of him that he concealed but didn’t keep at bay. There wasn’t a single guy I’d like that he didn’t immediately go after, even if they were bottoms like him. My other friends noticed this and Ray even suggested I express interest in someone hideous, just so Jaime would go after him. I never did that, but one after another, he would find himself somehow making out or going to bed with all the men I liked, managing to “win”, even if he wouldn’t get fucked by them. I never confronted him about it. I just accepted it as part of me being less desirable then he. It’s not like I was not getting any action. I got plenty of guys, just never when the two of us went out together. Lucky for me, he was in the military and he was a light weight, so he couldn’t keep up with my going out 5 times a week.

Things came to a head when I started dating Alfie. He was a hot grad student who was blonde and beefy. I had the body of a twink, so topping a guy who was almost twice my size was incredibly hot to me. I introduced him to Jaime after a few weeks of us dating, wanting to bring both people who were important to me, together. That first meeting ended in disaster. Jamie caused an argument between Alfie and I, bringing up something I had mentioned to him as an issue of contention. Once we started arguing, Jamie took Alfie’s  side and announced I was always bullheaded. I was furious and said this conversation is over. Alfie’s ex had been controlling and bossy, and my pronouncement pushed the wrong button. He stood up and left, telling me he just couldn’t deal with me at the moment. As soon as he walked out of the café, Jaime immediately expressed shock and concern, telling me not to worry as once Alfie cooled down, we’d talk it out.

Two days later, I finally heard from Alfie. Jamie had found his office and had gone to see him. Alfie told me this before breaking up with me. Before parting ways, he warned me that perhaps Jamie was not the friend I thought he was. The break-up left me devastated, as he was the first guy for whom I had ever had feelings. The warning about Jamie stayed in the back of my mind, but I was so focused with wrapping up school and dealing with the painful break-up, that I didn’t think much about it.

After graduation, I moved away and Jaime was deployed abroad, so we drifted apart. I went back to grad school and Jamie started moving up the ranks in the military. Eventually, I settled on a career as an academic in a city close to where Jamie and I went to college. There, I met Alex. From the beginning I knew Alex was not the one, but having been so unsuccessful at finding Mr. Right, I settled for his attention. But we had only been together a few months when he started showing every single trait of a narcissist. He started by pulling me away from friends and family. He was just introverted, he’d say. We already socialized last week, was a common excuse to isolate ourselves from others. Then came the explosive temperament, going from 0 to 60 for petty things. I worked extra hard to keep him happy, because I believed he was all I deserved. After all, he truly was my first long-term relationship. Everybody before him had dumped me because I was too needy. Alex however, needed me.

I started by helping him edit an email. Then it went to writing them myself. Then it became me doing projects for him, and he simply presented it as his own work. I didn’t mind, even though whenever I did ask for help I would get the same response: “I’m too busy with my own things.” So I stopped asking, but always helped him. I also took over most of the financial responsibilities as we moved in together. Even though he made more money than I, oftentimes I would lend him some cash because he was short. I never asked where the money was going, as I covered the mortgage wholly as I had bought the house myself. He even would get upset if I bought something without consulting with him first.

One day, as I was helping put together an event for his job that required coordinating international guest speakers, caterers, and facilities crews, he got frustrated when I gave him a list of things left for him to do and he hung up on me. It was like a light switch went on and I realized I had had enough. He had recently bragged to his friends in front of me that in all our time together he had yet to see me angry once. That pissed me off. He made me angry, but I wasn’t allowed to express my anger because I feared him. And I realized how fucked up it all was and I called him back just to tell him I was done. I was surprised how good it felt at the moment.

But after a couple months I started to doubt myself. What if nobody ever wanted me again? What if he was as good as I could ever get? He was hot, and though we seldom had sex as he was never in the mood, he was still with me in my bed. So three months after the breakup, when I was feeling particularly vulnerable he called. Asked if he could come over for a visit. I agreed to it and after letting me fuck him and apologizing for everything he’d put me through, I agreed tentatively to reconsider. He had a business trip followed by a 3 week vacation immediately after that, so I would have some time to get used to the idea of being with him again. When he returned, I felt I had made the right decision, despite his being strangely distant and aloof while he was traveling. I soon enough found out that he had been seeing someone else the entirety of his vacation, and was still texting the guy upon his return. When I confronted him about it, he said technically it was not cheating because I had said I would reconsider, but had not given him a solid yes.

It’s amazing how quickly one can recidivate when falling off the wagon. I was hooked on him again and bought his twisted logic. The sex became even more sporadic, even going months on end without any physical contact. In fact, I was not at freedom to touch or kiss him. He didn’t like my physicality, he told me once. He also told me kissing for him was only if he was turned on, so that was out the door too. I became so sex deprived that I became exclusively his bottom, because that was the only sex he would agree to when he was feeling generous. We also fucked without condoms, before the age of Prep. I trusted that this meant he wouldn’t cheat on me as his best friend had been infected with HIV by a cheating partner. So I settled into the complacency of the life I thought I deserved. My self-esteem was so low that I just kept apologizing to him for my presence, for not doing even more for him, and for asking something of him.

In the middle of this situation, Jamie reached out to me to let me know he’d be in my city for work. Even though I had seen him a couple times throughout the years, it had been more than a decade since we had spent more than a few hours together and I welcomed the opportunity to see my friend again.

When he arrived I was surprised to see my friend looking hotter than before. He had been spending more time at the gym and had gotten a nose job and hair implants. I always thought those things were silly, but he looked great. And his ass was as big, firm, and perky as ever. I too had grown into my looks and was grateful that I hadn’t peaked in my twenties as I looked better than ever. But Jamie was looking great and over jokes he told me he was no longer pretending to be bi or top, he had finally accepted what we all knew: he was a raging cockslut who could never get enough dick up his insatiable butt. He was still his happy-go-lucky, no-negativity self, and I felt my fear of Alex getting upset over his visit (which invariably happened if my friends or family came over), ebb away as they seemed to get along.

Unfortunately, a few days before his visit was to end, I had a family emergency creep up that required I travel out of state. Jamie was very understanding and encouraged me to go take care of my family. Alex was very supportive too. He even promised to look after Jamie and even take him to the Pride parade, as much as he loathed those types of events. With a heavy heart I left thinking how much I had missed Jamie in my life and how glad I was to have reconnected with him. As soon as I got to my destination, I took care of things with special urgency, as I wanted to make it back in time to have at least one more day with Jamie. I booked my early flight home and decided to surprise them by showing up unannounced.

When I landed back home, it was already dark and as I waited for a cab I started having a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. It was like a foreboding I couldn’t shake off. I attributed to the fear of making it home too late to join them as they went out to the Pride events. Or perhaps a fear of Alex’s reaction for me showing up unannounced. But I tried to brush it off and in the 20 minute drive home I told myself to calm down and just think of what a good time we were all going to have.

The house was three stories high. The first floor was a small apartment that I rented out to a lesbian couple to help cover the mortgage. The second floor was the main living parts of my house, including the guest room where Jamie was staying. The third floor was mostly the master and its ensuite. Upon arrival, I noticed there were only lights on the staircase and on the third floor. Odd, I thought. Alex tended to be pretty careful about leaving lights on when not in a room. As I walked up the stairs something told me to be quiet. Darkness and silence in the second floor, so perhaps they had gone out. But I could see lights from the staircase leading to the third floor, so I removed my headphones as I decided to walk up the stairs, and then I heard it.

It was unmistakably the sound of people having sex. I could hear someone moaning while another person grunted at the same rhythm of skin smacking against skin. Each step up the staircase felt like a ton of weight was being added to my being. My body felt hot and cold simultaneously, as if someone was pouring ice cold and boiling water on me. And the knot in my stomach felt like it would twist until it burst. But I continued walking up until I was outside my bedroom. I could hear my own heartbeat, and each palpitation was throbbing in my head.

My bedroom door was wide open, as they believed to be alone. On my bed, face down and ass up was Jamie, moaning like a whore with a bottle of poppers in his left hand. His hands were each cuffed rather loosely to the bed posts of my king-size bed, I guess so he could reach the poppers at will. Behind him, thrusting with a vigor I had never seen before was Alex. With each thrust came the grunts I had heard on my way up. Alex was never a talker, but I heard him say “your fucking cunt is so fucking hot you are going to make me cum”, to which Jaime responded “yes! Breed me like a fucking whore, plant your seed deep in me!” Their breaths were hot and heavy, as if they couldn’t get enough oxygen into their bodies to enable them to keep up with their exertions. Jamie sighed loudly as he said: “God, this feels so goooooood! I needed to be fucked so badly. Don’t stop fucking me!” And Alex responded: “You like that, slut? You like my dick in and out of your cunt?” His thrusts made the bed rock while I was glued to the door, just staring at them, their betrayal sinking in slowly.

All of a sudden a chill took over me and I was no longer feeling any emotions. It was like something had been switched off and I felt nothing at all, just rationality taking over. I looked around and saw their cell phones on the bed, next to them; there were wet towels on the floor, which meant they had showered together and had probably been fucking all along during my absence. Next to the bed was a small gym bag that I recognized to be Jamie’s. It was open and I could see sex gear and toys inside, probably where the handcuffs and straps he was using came from. I knew what I was going to do. I took out my phone and started recording them.

After almost two minutes of recording their intense fucking, I cleared my throat loudly. They both turned simultaneously with a look of sheer terror in their expressions. Alex pushed Jaime off his dick as if he had suddenly become hot lava, which caused Jamie to land flat on his belly on my bed, bottle of poppers tipping over and spilling all over my linens.

“Careful” I said, “pulling out like that is going to leave you with such bad blue balls that you won’t be able to walk”. Alex was stunned. I had never seen fear in his eyes before, but he looked as if he had seen his worst nightmare come to life. Jamie was trying to right himself and get off the bed when I told him “I would tell you that you are paying for my ruined comforter, but I will accept my shared responsibility as I was the one who startled you both into clumsiness. But please don’t stop, I believe you are not finished.”

They were surprisingly quiet, as if they could not come up with anything to say. I sat down on an armchair I had in the room and just stared at them, both frozen in shock and fear. I sighed loudly and said “Well, I can’t really say I am surprised. No one would be, if they knew you both as well as I do. Especially you, Jamie. Can’t say you disappoint!” Alex started to crawl to the edge of the bed whereas Jamie started tugging at his cuffs in a futile attempt to release himself. Alex didn’t even look his way, his eyes focused solely on me. “So, I take by the fact that there are no clothes on the floor, you’ve been at this for a while and that it started in another room.”  I said calmly.

“Listen…” Alex started, but I interrupted him calmly “No, you listen to me. You will finish what you started as it is evident that you were enjoying it. In fact, we’re going to make it even better. Pour the contents of this slut’s bag on the bed. I want to see what toys we have so we can all play together.” “I don’t want to.” responded Alex. “I don’t give a fuck what either of you want. I have a video recording of both of you that I have already uploaded. If you do not do as I say, I’ll simply forward this to everybody from your social media contacts, personal and professional. This will be the end of both your careers.” I stated. This was before Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell was repealed or Revenge Porn laws coming into effect, so the threat was real and from the look of terror in both their expressions, I saw I had the upper hand.

Without saying anything else, Alex picked up the bag and poured its contents. “There! That gag! Put it on Jamie.” I said. “Please, don’t do this. I can’t tell you how sorry I am, truly!” cried Jamie. I responded “Don’t be, just enjoy yourself. Or is it not fun when you have the unwilling cuck’s permission?” “I’m sorry…” he mumbled and did not object any further. Alex walked to him and put the gag on him. It was very unique. More than a ball gag, it looked like a buttplug with a strap to wrap around a person’s head. Jamie opened his mouth wide and as it entered his cavity, I instructed him to speak so I could see what I was working with. The only sounds were guttural noises, he could not produce any speech. Things were looking up for me, despite the improvising nature of the whole ordeal.

“Remove it just a sec, please.” I told Alex “I need your phone’s password. I will continue to record, but I will do you the courtesy of recording with your phones, not with mine. That way you’ll be able to relive and jerk off to the fun we’re about to have”. Jamie’s eyes started brimming with tears. I told him “Aw, don’t cry. Look at it from the bright side: you did not have your dear friend just fuck your partner of 7 years behind your back. The way I look at it, you really don’t have anything to cry about. You’re about to get more of what you were so desperately demanding just a few minutes ago. The password!” In a low whisper he said “6969”. I burst out laughing so hard that they just stared at me. “I’m sorry! It’s just too funny. I promise I won’t laugh anymore. Gag him!” I told Alex.

I heard him whisper an apology to Jaime as he secured the gag device. “Make sure it’s tight. We’ll need it that way so we can tighten his cuffs and still make sure he has easy access to his poppers. He can’t be without them and I don’t intend to deprive him of his fun. So tighten the straps of his cuffs so his hands are stretched as wide as is comfortable to him.” Alex quietly obeyed, asking Jaime if he was comfortable. Jamie simply nodded and leaned himself a bit forward. He was still ass up, and what a magnificent ass it was. It really did deserve to have some action. Alex stood next to the bed in silence, and I could not make out what was going through his mind, but mostly I could tell his fear was greater than his willingness to try and stop this. After all, he had never seen me mad and he was in unchartered territory. I was starting to be genuinely entertained at having them at my command.

I looked down at Alex’s dick and it was shriveled. Though he had a decent 7” cock, he was a grower, not a shower, so it looked particularly small given the stress he was under. “Well, you can’t fuck him with your dick like that. Can you get hard?” I inquired. “I already told you I don’t want to do this, so I guess I can’t.” Was that a flicker of defiance in his eyes? No, I would not allow it. “Well, that’s unfortunate for you, but considering Jamie is our guest, we must take care of him. Do you not agree?” “What are you…?” He was about to ask when I interrupted him “Here! An inflatable butt plug among the slut’s toys! I know he likes ass play, and he confided in me that he would love to be fisted as he’s so fucking insatiable, but fear of wrecking his ass irreparably has always held him back. Apparently, he’s still experimenting with getting big things inside of him, without having to stretch his sphincter. Clever girl!” Jamie had turned and his eyes were staring at me, but was that desire in his expression? The whore was actually going to get a kick out of this. Insatiable for real!

“Give me your password too” I told Alex. He just stared, quietly battling in his mind how to fight me. “Give it!” I yelled. He was shocked, as I had never raised my voice before. “1126” he said. “I can’t with you! Your birthday? Hahahahaha! You are lucky I always respected your privacy”. I truly found it humorous that his narcissism was so evident. It was like a cloud had been lifted from my eyes in the past hour. “OK, the show’s about to begin, guys. Smile for the camera!” I said as I had opened both their phones’ camera apps. Neither smiled. I didn’t care. I started by telling Alex to lather the buttplug in lube and insert it into Jamie’s hole. This seemed to calm both of them, as by focusing on the task and how it felt, they stopped thinking about their predicament.  

Once the deflated plug was inserted, I instructed Alex (who didn’t have a penchant for pig play as I had when we met), and he started pumping it slowly. After just a few pumps, Jamie started breathing more deeply and turned to look at me with inquisitive eyes. “The poppers! Yes, Alex, grab a small cloth and pour whatever is left of the poppers on it and then stick its edges under his gag, making sure to cover his nose, but not too tightly.” I said. “How is he going to breathe? That doesn’t sound safe.” He replied. “Well, that’s why I said not too tight. Leave it hanging loose over the gag. If he sniffs hard enough, he’ll be able to get quite a hit. And don’t worry about him, I know the slut oftentimes passes out in bathhouses from the poppers. He told me himself just the other day.” Alex did as he was told and then went back to gently turning the buttplug from side to side in Jamie’s ass. I kept recording with each phone on each hand.

Every so often, I’d tell him to pump a couple more times while continuing to move it inside the slut. Jamie was now moaning. He was sniffing the poppers and throwing his head back. I looked at Alex’s dick and it was now stiff, though not fully hard yet. But I could tell he was definitely getting into this. The real show was about to begin. I turned the cameras closer to them, making sure to capture every part of their anatomy, including their faces. “OK guys, time for the fun to really begin. Alex, pump that plug until Jamie let’s you know to stop.” Alex did as told and he was amazed at how many pumps it took for Jamie to jerk his head back as a sign to stop. He was moaning loudly, thrusting himself back and forth with a steady rhythm, as if he were riding the plug itself. Alex’s dick was now fully hard, and with each moan and movement of Jamie’s ass, his cock would twitch. I was making sure to get video of every move from both. I even asked if they were enjoying it. Jamie moaned a satisfied groan of sheer pleasure. Alex didn’t say anything, but his expression spoke for him: his eyes were glazed over with lust and he would jerk his dick every so often with one hand while spinning the plug with the other.

Things were going well, but I knew I needed to push them further to their limits, and then over. I needed to make sure they’d regret what they’d done, but as I was improvising, the plan was just taking shape in my mind. “You sluts are loving this” I stated, laughing. “Time to take it to the next level. Alex, pump!” He didn’t need any more prodding this time, he quickly pumped as Jamie started frantically writhing as much as he could, given his position and the cuffs. His moans were now obscenely loud, and I was thankful for the gag, because otherwise he’d be even louder. Alex was sweating profusely, focused on playing with the plug while stroking himself. I secretly felt grateful they’d been fucking earlier, as having cum God knows how many times before, their orgasms were being delayed. I once again asked how they were doing: “Are you enjoying yourself, slut?” I asked Jaime. He nodded enthusiastically while moaning and groaning, rocking himself back and forth as if continuing to ride the plug. I then turned to Alex: “What about you?” “This is so fucking hot…” He muttered hoarsely. Bingo! My plan was taking shape. “One more time, pump the bitch!” This time Alex did not hold back, he started pumping frantically, while Jamie was now squirming and making sounds I couldn't believe could come from a human.

Smack! Alex had slapped Jamie’s ass hard. Double smack! They were lost to their lust and I was getting it all on video. As Alex finally stopped pumping, he started spinning the plug and from behind the gag came a loud high pitched noise, similar to an ambulance’s siren and at that moment Jamie started cumming hands free. Alex had completely ignored his 5” dick, but I had made sure that it was shown in the video, hard as steel. As he came, jets of sperm doused my linens. I didn’t care, as they were already ruined to me. As Alex realized, he started pumping his dick harder. “No, you can’t cum yet!” I told him. He looked up at me with a puzzled expression. “Am I supposed to fuck him now?” He asked, sounding dumb from the lust taking over his brain. “No, we are still going to treat our guest to more fun. This is his lucky day, as all his fantasies are about to cum true. Literally!” I chuckled at my own joke, and Alex looked down at the perfect ass that appeared to be swollen from the pumped buttplug it was lodging within.

Jaime was recovering his breath as much as possible, given the cloth with poppers on his face. He looked in my direction, the expectation in his eyes betraying him as I could still see some fear combined with a never ending lust. I couldn’t believe the guy, he had just cum and was hoping for more after hearing what I’d said. “Spin the plug gently, and let it deflate just a bit. Then start tugging on it gently as if pulling it out.” Alex listened and meticulously followed my instructions. He seemed to be absorbed as if this was the most important task in the world. His dick was rock hard, but he had stopped jerking it. There was a gossamer thread of precum dripping from his cockhead down to the sheets. He ignored it, but the camera didn’t. I made sure I was capturing everything. “Do it again.” I repeated. Alex obeyed. At the fourth attempt, I could tell we were getting close. I told him to spin it carefully and pour more lube on the slut’s ass, then pull again. Jamie was moaning softly, but he was still into it despite having cum a few minutes earlier.

Finally, at the fifth deflation the buttplug came out with a huge popping sound. Jamie’s sphincter gaped for a few seconds, just enough to capture it with the camera, and as if by magic, collapsed onto itself closing his hole tightly. I could hardly believe it, but at the same time, it made sense. The plug had been inserted when it was deflated, so his sphincter had not really been stretched. But the plug lay still inflated on the bed at the size it had been when it was pulled out. I could not believe something that size could fit in someone’s rectum, nor that it could come out through his sphincter without ripping it apart. Yet here was the evidence that it’s easier to get things out than it is to get them in through an asshole.

I looked back at his toys and saw a small vibrator. It was the kind that look like a small gherkin and typically has a small thread or cord tied on one end, so it won’t get lost inside its user. This one didn’t have that thread, but I didn’t think much of it. I told Alex to pick it up and turn it on. I was going to torture the slut a bit. “Rub it up and down his dick, and then around his hole.” Once again, Alex obeyed without protesting. He was evidently very much into what he was being told to do. The moaning started again, but as the vibrator reached his cockhead, whimpers came out of his gagged mouth. “Too sensitive, slut?” I asked. “Mmmhhmmm!” Was his answer. “Don’t fret, Alex is just getting you ready for more fun. Aren’t you Alex?” Alex simply smacked his ass and said “Don’t pretend you don’t like it, slut. You’ve been begging for this since you arrived!” “Now Alex, that’s not fair as he can’t defend himself nor tell his version of events. And he is company, so treat him nicely.” I stated. He looked at me with a puzzled expression. Was he thinking that I had gotten so into this that I would forgive him? It seemed his brain was struggling to make sense of the situation, but his dick was still hard and it was winning over whatever was going on within his brain.

And then it hit me. As I held the camera, I motioned for him to shove the vibrator into Jamie’s ass. I finally knew what I was going to do to end this farce. Alex was too turned on to register the implications of this and he simply obeyed again. As the vibrator was inserted into Jamie’s ass, his entire body went stiff and he started grunting, as if trying to speak. The slut was horny, but not stupid. He knew his toy was now lodged in his rectum, and considering how stretched it probably still was within, it would start travelling within his gut. He started panicking, trying frantically to pull out of his cuffs while squealing into his gag. Alex started to register what he’d just done and turned to me with a look of panic in his face. I decided to continue playing along. “Stop that, dumbass. The more you move, the deeper the vibrator will go up your ass. Stop moving and Alex will help you retrieve it. Won’t you, Alex?” I asked. “How am I supposed to do that?” He replied. “What do you mean how? By pulling it out! You’re going to have to put your fingers, perhaps your hand in his ass to retrieve it. And don’t worry about it, he’s always fantasized about getting fisted. Given how stretched he is right now, I’d say this is the perfect moment to do so”.

Alex looked stunned. “I can’t do that. That’s sick and gross. I’m not a pig like…” “Like me?” I interrupted. He knew my proclivities had always been toward rougher kinkier sex and that I had fisted guys in the past. “No, you’re not a pig, you’re just a fucking coward and a lying, cheating, money-sucking, piece of shit! Now lube up your hands and pull the fucking toy out of his ass!” I had gotten right in his face. The farce was over. All the rage that had abandoned me earlier came hitting me in one sudden rush, and I saw fear in his eyes. We are both close in size as he’s only an inch taller than I. Though he exercises regularly, he mostly does cardio as he struggles keeping the weight off. I on the other hand only lift weights because my struggle is putting the pounds on. He knew I was much stronger than he, and though I had always been afraid of him, he sensed my rage and was the one who was scared.

He quietly picked up the lube and was about to pour it onto his hand when Jamie made a sound. He had stopped squirming, but I could tell he was afraid. He was staring at us, one end of the popper soaked cloth having come undone from under the gag strap probably during his previous fit. I turned to him and said “I know you’ve always wanted this, and it’s going to happen anyway so don’t resist it. Alex, adjust his popper cloth so he can really breathe the fumes in. Jamie, just focus on relaxing or it will be worse for you.” Alex obeyed me and Jamie started taking deep breaths with his eyes closed. Alex went back to lubing his hands. “OK, are you ready?” I asked. Alex looked at me with fear in his eyes, but he nodded. I turned to Jamie and he nodded, but there was no fear in his eyes. He looked back at Alex, and after turning to see his still semi-hard dick, he turned forward with lust in his eyes. The fucking slut was still thinking about dick.

At first, Alex inserted just two fingers in order to see if he could reach the vibrator, but it was too far in. Then I told him to try with four fingers; that also didn’t work. He did say he could feel the tip of the vibrator. “Don’t push any harder then, you’ll just shove it in deeper” I said, “You’re going to have to put your entire hand in, but in order to do so you must first loosen up his sphincter. Massage it all around and pull in the direction of each cardinal point holding for 15 seconds at a time.” I had learned this technique from a gay gastroenterologist who also loved fisting. Alex obeyed and as the minutes went by, it was evident that Jamie’s hole was stretching and even gaping a bit. Jamie was once again moaning. “OK, pour more lube on your hand and see if you can squeeze it in.” I told him. He did as told and Jamie started shaking his head while whimpering. There was too much resistance. They were both sweating, if for different reasons. I told Alex to repeat the previous steps and after several more minutes, to give it another try.

This time, his hand slid in with a gentle pop. He looked at me with such shock in his expression. Jamie just gave out one low but steady moan that seemed to last forever. Alex appeared to be in shock. He wasn’t moving, he was just staring at me and then at his wrist with his hand lodged inside Jamie’s ass. “Grab the vibrator” I told him. That seemed to pull him out of his state, but he looked very pale. Jamie was now covered in sweat and his legs were shaking uncontrollably. His skin also was covered in goosebumps, despite all the sweat. Alex’s hand moved and after what seemed to me like too long he said: “I think I got it.” “OK, now very gently start pulling out. Don’t be surprised if there is a bit of blood when you do, so please be careful to avoid that.” I said to him. That seemed to be too much for him. He roughly pulled his hand out as if afraid of contamination, which caused Jamie to convulse and squeal before collapsing, having passed out from the intensity of the experience and the popper cloth on his face. His legs continued to shake uncontrollably and he hung as suspended from the straps to which he was cuffed. Alex looked at his clenched fist and opened it, but there was no vibrator in his hand. He then ran to the bathroom and I heard him retching. I decided that was enough for the cameras and I stopped recording. Before shutting the phones, I sent myself both videos while they were not aware of what was going on.

I quickly looked for the keys and undid the cuffs. I then removed the gag and the cloth from Jamie’s face and started calling to him, hoping to bring him back. I gently nudged Jamie until he started coming to. “Hey there, you’re back.” I said. Jamie looked at me in total confusion. The room smelled awfully of poppers and sex, and he couldn’t seem to focus his thoughts. I heard the water run in the bathroom sink, and decided to let Alex clean himself before finishing up what I had to do. Jamie was still out of it, and the vibrator was still lodged inside. “Alex, come here” I called. Alex tumbled back from the bathroom, pale as a ghost, but somewhat composed. “You have to take him to the hospital. They are going to have to remove it as you failed to do so.” I said calmly. “I’m not doing that. It’s your fault anyway, I told you I didn’t want to do anything!” He replied, defiantly. “Shut the fuck up, you fucking pussy ass loser!” I had completely lost it. “I walk in to find you fucking him on my bed, in my house, and all I did was have you finish what you had started! So don’t give me that shit. I recorded how much you enjoyed me forcing you to do something against your will. You are going to take him to the hospital right now! Hurry before it gets worse.” Alex was too stunned to respond as I had never insulted him nor cussed at him. He suddenly started moving. He got dressed I guess as quickly as he could while I covered Jamie up in my robe.

I walked both of them down to Alex’s car. The hospital was 4 blocks away, so it was unnecessary to call an ambulance. Jamie was quietly sobbing as I helped him in the car. I do not know if it was from the emotional intensity of the night, the fear of his current predicament, or the shame from the night’s events. It was strange seeing this grown man, who had served in the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, crying like a teenage girl. I felt pity for him. Alex seemed to be shocked and was functioning as on automatic. As I saw them drive off, I went inside. I needed to start cleaning house.

After taking off the linens and bundling them up, I proceeded to throw them away. I just couldn’t wash them and pretend like nothing had happened. I considered if I should get rid of the mattress too, but then it hit me. I was not a victim. Or at least I didn’t have to let them victimize me. I sat down and wrote the same text to both, which I sent as a response to the video they had unknowingly sent to me: “When you watch this video, and the excitement and lust you feel makes you cum, remember too that it’s the taste of betrayal that so turns you on. I take my share of responsibility for allowing you to treat me the way you did. For never having you respect me enough to stop yourself from doing what you did. I will never allow this to happen to me again. I hope it was worth it.”

Alex came back the next morning. I was in the kitchen waiting. As he walked in, he told me they had taken Jamie into the OR. The procedure had been successful and he was to be released later that day. I told him I was pleased. He then described being ridiculed and harrassed by the medical staff as the stupid guy who shoved a vibrator up another guy's ass. He even ran into an acquaintance whom he despised and who also became aware of the whole ordeal, as the emergency room does not offer private suites. I simply shrugged. When he asked about us, I told him there had never been an us. It had always been me being subservient to him, but that was not who I was and I had decided to put an end to it. I gave him until the end of the day to take his things out of my house. When he asked where he would go, I told him “Ask Jamie if he’ll let you share his hotel room for the night. He’s probably already horny for dick again, so at least you can fuck each other’s brains out.” I dropped off Jamie’s belongings at the hospital. I made sure he truly was OK, but didn’t go in to see him.

Neither one ever responded to my text. I guess there was nothing that could be said. I eventually heard from both of them as their lives imploded. Alex was fired from his job as I had been doing it for him most of the time. I didn’t tell our friends in common what had happened, but even his friends remained mine as the acquaintance from the ER spread the story all over town. Apparently they all knew I was in an abusive relationship, but they didn’t know how to help as I was evidently in denial. Eventually I found out he had been cheating on me all along. Several people knew about this and they assumed we had an open relationship, so out of discretion they had never mentioned it to me. He reached out asking for me to forgive him for all the harm he’d caused me. I didn’t give him the chance to ask me to take him back. Just told him I was good and I had moved on. I was now in a better place and didn’t want his presence in my life. Last I heard he moved to a seedy place in town and was working as a petty bureaucrat, about to marry some poor guy that was allegedly as messed up as him. I guess God makes them and they find each other.

As to Jaime, the medical procedure that was paid for by the military's medical insurance drew the attention of his commanding officer, a homophobic man who quickly put his dishonorable discharge in motion. Almost 20 years of military service, as he had joined fresh out of high school, down the drain, including his retirement. Last I heard he’s no longer a raging whore, and he's far less glamorous now as he continued losing hair and gaining weight without the military regimen. Apparently, he exclusively sucks dick now as he was left with PTSD from his vibrator ordeal. He can't even bottom anymore, according to a friend in common. Coincidentally, he’s also a low level bureaucrat. If only he’d controlled his whorish ways until Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell got repealed, but I guess progress always arrives late. He sent me a holiday card. I returned it by putting it straight into the trash where it should find its sender.

At first I had just intended to record them and embarrass them to the point they’d regret having betrayed me. But as things unfolded, I just took them to their furthest consequence. Do I regret telling Alex to shove the vibrator in Jaime’s ass? Absolutely not. That simple act was my revenge. The rest of the things unfolded as a consequence of their betrayal in the first place. As I said at the beginning of my story, I’m not an asshole. Or am I?