Vessel For A Cumdump

I have an affinity for bb bottoms. Which is ironic, since I am a bb bottom, myself. But, I am drawn on some primal level that rivals my draw to dominant bb tops. And it all started, as many things of gay fantasy do, in California. 

It was 2006. I was based in NYC and had been sent to Anaheim California for a conference on a new program my company was using. I was warned, in advance, that everything in Anaheim was not magical. The area is, frankly, ugly and barren. And it is referred to as being “behind the Orange Curtain”. Anaheim is in Orange County, and not that friendly to the gay folk at the time. 

All I knew of online cruising was Craigslist. I was on that fast. Found a guy who said he was going to a JO party - lots of guys around jacking off. I was very heavy at the time and had major body issues. But, I decided to throw caution to the wind and go. 

To say there was a variety of people was an understatement. And the only jacking off I saw were if cocks waiting for a hole to open up! It was a smorgasbord of men and my brain couldn’t take it in. 

The entire house was full of men. I don’t remember losing my clothes, but they were gone. Next I knew, I was kneeling in front of a monster of a man with a thick cock I could barely get in my mouth. But I worked every inch inside. Suddenly, I had my first experience of a man burying his cock down my throat to unload. My eyes rolled back in my head and I experienced the inability to breathe being an erotic, intense experience. 

When I opened my eyes, my monster was gone and I was at the side of a bed, where he had been standing. I looked forward and saw this incredibly beautiful young man. He was flat on his stomach and someone was standing on the other side of the bed and pounding into him. He was in ecstasy!  I watched his body pulse with the thrusting as his head rolled side to side, lost in the tide of the erotic energy filling his senses, his lungs, his body. 

His head raise as he arched his back, his eyes opened - and locked into mine. 

It is hard to put that moment into words. What i saw in his eyes was the fulfillment of sexual purpose. It didn’t identify who he was as a human. It had nothing to do with his daily life, career, family, faith, love. This was a person experiencing the penultimate moments of a bliss only felt when all walls are gone and he is allowing his spirit to soar. 

And I wanted it. 

I moved closer, as did he. We grabbed hands and began to kiss. Eyes never leaving each other. 

Suddenly, the man behind him began to grunt and growl. He yelled, “I’m cumming! Take my fuckin load!”  It was at that moment I realized this man was in my new friend raw. My mind reeled. 

For the next two hours, we remained together -Completely connected - Always touching. I had not reached the point of taking loads. But in that time, he took 5 or 6. We changed positions often. Sometimes, he was on his knees between my legs, taking cock while we jacked each other and made out. Holding him tightly while someone unloaded in him and he shivered through an anal orgasm. Occasionally, he would straddle me and guys would take turns eating his ass and sucking my cock. One man put my dick inside him and encouraged me to breed him. While others seemed to like the idea, it was clear and unspoken between the two of us that neither of us were interested in that. 

And, it was clear to me, at that moment, that I wanted nothing so much as to take this man inside me as the next man mounted. To hold him, arms and legs wrapped, letting the man rutting into him create the rhythm that would finally allow him to experience a release, and allow me the thing I really wanted: his load inside me. 

That load represented an open adoration. A primal appreciation of someone who had brought so much pleasure to others. Yes, on some level, I embraced the idea that it would feel like taking all of the loads he had absorbed throughout the evening. But, more, it was the idea of pleasuring the pleaser. If someone who was open and willing to be the receptacle of the passion and energy of all those men, that vessel, also, needed a receptacle. Someone to allow that entity of pleasure a moment of pure, earned, and deserved release. A cleansing. 

I wish I could say that happened. Exactly that way.  

It did not. While we held each other, two men sucked us each. We did explode together and there was a special bliss in that moment. Then one of the men scooped all of the spilled cum together and worked it inside of him. So, while he carried away a part of me, I left with the memory of holding, for a brief time, the epitome of sexualized energy. A being who allowed, for one evening, to be the object of so many men’s sexual release. 

That evening, I became a bottom’s bottom. The person to encourage those taking loads, when I am not. To hold them when I can - the promised tether to reality allowing them to float freely and safely into that sea of spiritual sensuality where every molecule of the body is about pleasure, yes, theirs, but, more-so, on the act of providing that pleasure to others. 

I have never found another experience like this. I have been around others and created small connections. None rivaled the complete connection of bottom energy that locked that young man and I together that night. In love, I have found a connection far beyond that. But, this was the only moment I have found where, without words, two kindred spirits found a way to enjoy a frenzy, grounded and connected. 

And I still look for that moment when, after pleasuring numerous men, I can welcome that vessel of passion inside to release, unload, and just be.