University Encounter

First of all, I want to thank all of the people who took the time to write me a lovely e-mail or commented to encourage me to continue writing the story. Thank you to everyone who read and rated the story as well. It's encouraging to see that people enjoy reading what you created.

Since there was a bit of confusion about some terms I used in the last chapter, I want to clarify some of them:

• Gymnasium: Secondary school for kids and teenagers (age: ~10-18); one of three possible secondary schools with the highest standard in education to enable going to university later on.
• Abitur: It's the name of the degree you get when finishing the Gymnasium.
• University (German: Universität): Higher education where only the chosen subject is taught. The degrees you can get there range from bachelor to doctorate (Ph.D.).

I hope I was able to clear up some of the confusion.

I turned over in bed and yawned. The first sun rays shone through my window and slightly blinded me. I must have fallen asleep yesterday after I replied to the caring message I got from Luke. I think I will give it a try to see if it works out. I'm still unsure how I will handle everything with Jake and my family. They still don't know that I'm gay.

I reluctantly got up and put on some comfortable clothes and went to the kitchen to get some water. I put some toasted bread on my plate as Jake joined me in the kitchen to prep a small snack for breakfast.

"Can we later go grocery shopping? The fridge is almost empty and tomorrow everything is closed." Jake asked.

"Right, I hope the weather stays as nice as it is currently. Yesterday was terrible with the heat and moisture. I just want to eat something then we can go."

Jake and I almost always go together to the supermarket. It's a nice walk through the city as we have an apartment pretty central in the city we study in.

After a few minutes, we were ready to go. So I put on my shoes and grabbed my keys and phone. I saw that it was blinking. Shit! Luke has probably texted me again and I have not yet looked at it.

As Jake and I were casually walking to the supermarket I tried to read the messages I got:

Oh, so now I understand why you are so unsure. I'll make a proposal. You can say no at any point when you feel uncomfortable or don't want to do something. But I want to get to know you. We can go as slow as you want and if you are unsure about something please talk to me. Do you want to meet up today or do you have other plans?

Suddenly I felt a bit relieved. So he doesn't mind that I'm a noob in that regard. I hope he doesn't expect me to understand or be an expert in everything he might want me to do. I put my phone back in my pocket and we arrived at the store.

When we returned from the grocery shopping I turned on my PC and stowed away everything we bought. I took my phone out and replied:

Hi Luke. I'm glad you are so understanding and caring. I hope that these circumstances don't scare you away. Today it seems like the weather is better than yesterday. So if you want to meet I'm up for it.

After I sent it almost instantly came a reply:

Nice. Should I pick you up to make sure you don't get cold feet? ;P How about I pick you up at 15:00 and we can go walking in the park that's nearby to get to know each other. Can you send me your address?

Without really thinking about it I sent him my address. Was that a good idea to send my address to a stranger? Well, I hope he only has good intentions.

After sending him my address I have no chance to get out of this anymore, have I? What if it really gets awkward, what if he sees me and thinks I'm ugly because he just briefly saw me in the lecture yesterday?

OK, I need to calm down. First I must take a shower. So I hopped in and cooled down a bit as well. Then back in my room, I opened my closet and rummaged through my clothes. It was pointless to look for something nice to wear for this... what is this, actually? Is it a date? I don't know. So back to my clothing problem. Since I never really intended to get out, other than going to university and buying the necessary things I don't have many unique options besides some jeans and some t-shirts that I got a few years ago when going shopping for clothes with my mom.

Only half an hour left till I finally meet him in person ... again. I was sitting in front of my PC to get distracted a bit. Jake was sitting beside me on his desk playing some shooter game. I told him earlier that this afternoon a fellow student would come to pick me up for some studying. 

The good thing is since I don't own super fancy clothing he wasn't really suspicious about this. The only thing that might be odd is that I was meeting someone who is a real person but I don't think that Jake paid attention to how often I actually meet up with some students.

Ten minutes before three, I got up from my PC and went to the bathroom to check everything. I went to the toilet, brushed my teeth, and cleaned my glasses so everything was perfect. Well as perfect as my skinny body allowed.

Almost perfectly on time, the doorbell rang. I quickly went to our PC room to say goodbye to Jake who probably didn't even hear me as he was so immersed in his game. So I went to the door and answered it with a bit of a forced smile as I was as nervous as I had never been before in my life. Not even before some oral exams or my abitur exams which decide how your life goes on.

Well, I hoped that this person might change my life as well. But I don't want to have too high expectations as I don't know anything about him besides that he looks gorgeous.

I stared at a neck with a noticeable adam's apple. So I looked up to see a smiling stunning face. So he is a bit taller than me.

"Hi, how are you?"

I might have stared a bit too long because he snickered.

"Can you speak?"

I returned to reality as I slightly shook my head. I took a deep breath and decided that I won't make a fool out of myself.

"Hi Luke, I'm fine for now but I'm really nervous."

I closed the apartment door behind me and Luke followed me out the front door of the house.

While I walked beside him I tried to eye him up a bit. He wore a nice plain light green shirt with black jeans. Of course, the first few buttons of his shirt were open so you could see his perfectly smooth light brown skin. He seems to have a toned body at least from what I saw yesterday and as far as I can tell from his exposed arms. Beside him, I feel a bit small although I'm almost perfectly the average size of a german man (178cm/~5'10"). But I'm skinny and he looks muscular and a bit taller.

After a quick walk, we arrived at the park.

"So does anybody know?"

"What?" I asked as I was not sure at first what he meant with that question.

"Does anybody know that you are gay?"

Slightly frightened I looked around to see if anybody looked at us or may have overheard something. Luckily everybody seemed to be busy with their own stuff.

I looked at him and replied:

"Well, until yesterday no one. I'm still not sure if I'm gay. It seems so unreal to speak with someone about it after such a long time that I discovered that I might be a bit different than anybody else. First I thought that I was only socially awkward or it was because I'm such a computer nerd. I feel really relieved to have someone to talk to about that and not be judged because I fancy men."

Luke smiled at me, stopped, and put his hands on my shoulders. He pulled me to the side and turned me so I was face to face with him.

The eye contact was surprisingly not awkward. I felt like I could look into his eyes forever. They were so deep and interesting. They exuded some kind of inner peace and calmness but also friendliness. There was a slight green tinge to the deeper blue in them that complemented the shirt he wore.

"I really like you, Ben. And I really like your eyes they are so pretty."

I was a bit irritated because I never thought that MY eyes are pretty, but at this moment I was just happy that he made me a compliment and I blushed slightly.

"Thanks. I think that I like you too."

I felt some kind of connection that I never really felt before with anyone. I slightly leaned forward and Luke seemed to come closer as well. I automatically slowly closed my eyes. Suddenly I felt his soft yet slightly rough lips on mine. MY FIRST KISS WITH A MAN.

After a moment I pulled back. As I opened my eyes again I had to smile and saw that Luke also had a wide smile on his face. So I think he liked it as well.

"That was so magical."

"Yes, it was" I replied.

"I never kissed anyone that soon but I really felt a connection there. I hope I wasn't too forward."

"No, not at all. I also felt the connection. It was my first kiss with a man." I almost whispered that last sentence as I realized that we were still in the middle of the park.

As I looked around me I saw some people that looked roughly in our direction but they didn't seem to be paying attention to us or the fact that two young men were kissing in public.

Luke seemed to notice this. He put his muscular arm around my shoulder to comfort me and we started walking again. I felt so secure with his arm around me and was really happy that finally, I get to experience the things that my classmates experienced years before me.

After walking a few minutes in silence, I asked:

"So you are gay? Do your friends know?"

"Yes, I am. I think you can't get any gayer than me. My friends know but they don't mind at all. I told them a few years ago but they kinda already knew."

"I'm still not sure if it's a great idea to out myself to my family or my friends. I really can't assess how they will react to that. My family is kind of religious. My parents currently live separately but are not yet divorced. I also don't have a lot of good friends, most are more like acquaintances. So if they don't accept me for who I am I might be alone afterward."

Luke squeezed me a bit more against his bigger body and assured me:

"Ben, I'm not saying you must out yourself if you don't feel comfortable but it is so liberating. Saying nothing is changing when you are coming out is not completely true, it's mostly to calm down the people who think everything will change. I think you will get more open, happier, and live like you want to without the constant thought of how people will think or talk about you."

"I'll think about it. Maybe I will start with my friend Jake. I don't think he will react badly. And if so, I might have to find a new place to finish my degree but I think it wouldn't be a good idea to hide our relationship from him."

"Don't feel pressured to come out just because of me. I don't want to make you feel that you have to because I am out. I don't want to hide you but I don't want to pressure you into unsafe things. I will support you either way, whatever you decide."

Then he squeezed me again and planted a kiss on my head. I felt secure in his arm. I don't know if I want to leave him at the end of our walk and go home to my friend alone again.

We walked in silence for a bit just enjoying the closeness of our bodies, the nature surrounding us, and the beginning of the summer.

Arriving at the entrance of the park where we started our walk Luke said:

"Ben, I really enjoyed being with you and I look forward to many more dates. I hope you feel the same way."

I slightly blushed because I didn't expect him to like me so much:

"Luke, I enjoyed the walk, too. I feel like I not only get to know you a bit better, but I feel like a new person with all the realizations I got about myself and my life."

As we were nearing my house Luke dropped his arm and we walked silently the last few meters. It felt odd to no longer have his arm around me.

In front of our apartment door, Luke hugged me tightly.

"I don't want to let you go. You are so cute and pretty."

"What should I say! You are so handsome and muscular." I shot back as I blushed slightly and was a little shocked that I even had the courage to blurt that out.

Luke blushed as well. "So you think I might have a chance with you?" he said and softly chuckled. I like it when he teases me like that.

Instead of answering I simply kissed him on his soft lips. I wanted to feel them again before leaving him for the next few days. Luke seemed a bit surprised but quickly leaned into the kiss and I could feel him relax a bit.

"So when do you have time the next week?"

"I don't know yet but I certainly will keep something clear," I replied as I was thinking about when to prep for some upcoming exams. Luke pulled away from me and turned to go down the few steps toward the building door. Before going outside, he turned again to look at me and winked "See you!"

And he was gone. Suddenly I felt a little bit sad that our first date was over. I unlocked our apartment door and slipped into my slippers.

As I was looking at the clock I was shocked that almost three hours passed and suddenly my stomach was grumbling. I quickly checked our living room if Jake was still playing his game and surely he was. I tried to get his attention but he still was pretty much absorbed by the events happening on his screen. So I decided to go to the kitchen and started a simple rice dish with a few vegetables that we bought this morning.

Shortly before the food was ready Jake entered the kitchen and said:

"Oh, you are home already?"

"Yeah we were really diligent and efficient but next week we'll continue."

"Do you want me to make something for myself or is this enough for both of us?"

"No, it's enough. I figured if you don't want it, I can heat it up tomorrow for myself."

"You seem so relaxed and happy. I haven't seen you so happy in a long time. Weird that learning together relaxes you and doesn't stress you out."

I just snickered at that comment and didn't reply. I thought that I might tell him soon because hiding it might not be possible for long...

Hope you guys enjoyed reading this chapter as much as the first one. I really tried to convey the feelings that Ben experienced and the struggles he has/had. The next chapter might take a little longer.

Happy Easter to everyone!

-kiroux