Unexpected: Conquered by Asian alpha

I share this story because I still haven’t come to terms with it, wonder if there are others like me. I am in my mid 30s, self described all american caucasian, tall, lean muscle. 8 inch thick cock, brainy almost jock.  As a guy who dated and fucked women during college and my early 20s, it was natural for me to top as I explored my sexuality.  It remained that way as I embraced my sexuality.  In relationships and hook ups I always topped and over time became a more aggressive and dominate in how I fucked.  Seemed partners or tricks enjoyed it and I did too.

In relationships I tried to bottom a few times and hated it.  It didn’t seem natural, and it wasn’t satisfying for either party involved.  
I experienced a few hook ups with self proclaimed tops only to have them become eager bottoms.   I found this scene hot and satisfying so I never hesitated to engage a top verse guy.

I was in Chicago on a business trip, staying at the W waterfront, had chatted with this guy on Grindr, He was a handsome Asian guy, 27 years old 5’8, 160 lbs, lean with muscle, he described himself as top verse.  During chat we spoke about “intos”; we discussed the fact we were both mostly tops.  I shared that it was a turn on for me and that I’ve heard self proclaim top before.  He shared that he had been on a dominant streak lately so I shouldn’t assume anything.  We had other interests in common such as kissing, body contact, jacking, oral, being verbal, so would be fun even if we end up not fucking.

He came to my hotel room that night.  When I opened the door, my first thought was,  wow this guy is hot, maybe even out of my league.   I had an instant hard on and was eager to get the night started.  I welcome him in the room and we made quick introduction and confirmed we were both what each other expected.  It was apparent that we had instant chemistry.
I turned to walk into the room. Unexpectedly he grab my upper arm and shoulder spun me around. The tone was being set.  We locked lips and began deep kissing  His other hand went to my shoulder and pressed for me to drop to my knees, I resisted and both of us remained standing while grinding our bodies together.  We were both exploring each other, rubbing each others hard cocks, and grabbing ass.  It was a feeling of a hot passionate make out session. We were unbuttoning our shirts so we could rub each others pecs.  At this point I was not thinking about who would be the dominate alpha but as I leaned down to suck his nipple, he took the opportunity to push me to my knees and grab my head and force it into his crotch.

The tone had noticeably changed but I was still like no problem, he might be a little more aggressive than me but nothing I can’t handle or counter.  Plus he was hot and I wanted to suck his dick.  In reflecting back, this was the moment I was going to be introduced to forced submission.  As I went to put my mouth on his dick, he grab my head and forced his shaft deep in my throat.  The kind of force that makes you gag and choke.  The only reprieve is when he would release pressure from holding my head that I could naturally pull back. This too was a ploy as to only repeatedly force his cock deeper and more forcefully down my throat.  At this point I am choking on his cock and massive amounts of  saliva is running down my face and dripping on the floor. Tears are running down my face and I am breathless as I am being choked and gagged by his cock.  This is something I’ve never experienced.

He was verbal the whole time, because I was being faced fucked I can’t remember everything but I remember him saying look in the mirror,  do you see yourself?  You wanted this didn’t you?  Look at you.  This is where you belong.  You’re just another white faggot that going to be my bitch. Your cock is hard.  That should give you a sign of who you are.  Is that you being dominant?  Thought you were going to fuck an Asian boy tonight didn’t you? Fucking arrogant white boy assuming we are all bottoms.  Told you I was on a dominate streak. 

Physically I was bigger and stronger, so I moved to force myself from being face fucked. I had been weaken some by being breathless and that when he forced my head so deep in his crotch and his cock so deep, I had no air through my noise or mouth.  Could feel the blood rush to my head, dizzy feeling a loss of consciousness.  He let go and I collapsed to the floor.  He was concerned and did ask if I was okay.  He turned into a nurturing caring man. He helped me, moved me to the bed, and got us some water.  He was asked if he went too far or got too aggressive?  Of course I said yes.  He was a bit surprised saying, I would have thought this is what you do when you are dominate.  I said not to that extent.  I thought you were going to kill me at one moment.  He was apologetic and talked about trust when you hook up and play.  So we transitioned to more vanilla play, kissing stroking each other, jacking, we both played with each others ass.  He asked me if I was up for being fucked.  I hesitated and said no and explained that I’ve never enjoyed it.  He seem to understand but ask me why did you message me?  What were you thinking? You wanted to submit or at least explore it. I acknowledged that I thought about it. Explained how I never understood how bottoms enjoyed such a hard pounding.  The talking and stoking had me hard and I found him sexy.  He was like just a little, my cock isn’t as big as yours.  He was saying I’ll be gentle and stop if it get too uncomfortable. He was in my head and he had accurately described my thoughts even though I didn't acknowledge it.

It started out as promised. After several failed attempts or being pushed out, he penetrated my sphincter, I gave a quick flinch and ouch.  I ask to just stop.  He ask me to breath and relax.  These are tips I had heard before when I tried to bottom in the past.  He acknowledged my hole was super tight.  He started to get verbal again.  Saying to me, you don’t have a choice and that I would be fucked tonight. He started to thrust more attempting to open my hole.  I literally screamed in pain and said please stop.  The burning pain was too much.  He pulled out and added more lube and slowly push back on the territory he had claimed.  He had at least taken me as far as I had even been with any past attempt to bottom.

He seemed to be a mission.  I expressed it was time to stop.  He was like know you don’t know how to like being a bottom because you have never been fucked and you are going to get fucked and with that statement he rolled my legs up as to lift my ass and he thrust hard and deep. I screamed, moaned in pain, was yelling stop and even help in between trying to breath, the moans.  He was trying to cover my mouth to quite me and saying you want this, let it happen.  I am shocked no security came.  In my mind at that moment it was rape.  The pain was intense to the point I started feeling numb. I was starting to cope and get my breathing stable from a panic state.  He started reassuring me, saying that right let it go.  I will always remember that moment because it was like a switch in my head.  The resistance in my body just let go.  I remember looking in his eyes and him saying that’s it your mine now, you can acknowledge it.  Its okay for you to want it. He continued to fuck me and used me in multiple positions.  We had played safe and he pulled out and shot his massive load on my face.

A new world was opened up that night.  The experiences left me dazed and confused on multiple levels.  I still value my alpha dominate qualities, but I acknowledge it was a turn on being used by a more dominate alpha. There was also a turn on around race play.  I find myself living a duality.  In relationships I am top dominate but in hook ups I seek out dominate Asian alphas.  I also feel they have a six sense of knowing my true self even when its not verbally communicated.  That’s a hot submission story for another time.