There Is Hope, Even For The Lonely

I sat at the window in my room watching the rain fall.... as it did the tears flowed down my face as my body was filled with loneliness. Through the window, the field was baron, empty, just as my heart was.

I'm twenty six years old still living with my parents with not much of a life so to speak.  I have no friends with most of my time spent in my bedroom obsessed with watching gay porn.  I also love reading fiction and non fiction as it gives me a sense of the world around me.  Occasionally I send away for gay reading, mostly stories of gay love.  I have desired men for as long as I can remember but never acted on it.  I guess one might say I'm an introvert as I relish my own thoughts. There are times when I would like to reach out....have someone to share my life with but then I revert my thinking with thoughts that I will always be alone.

I have always been a loner also being extremely shy.  I work in a book store in town, being an avid reader, I love working with books surrounding me.  The shop is very busy, has a nice sitting area where we also offer coffee and soft drinks.  Most of the time I work alone but occasionally the owner will work to give me some needed help.  I love working at the book store because it is where I feel comfortable almost like home.  All the books in the store give me comfort.  

I was busy dealing with customers when the bell to the door jingled as a tall handsome man walked in.  I could not take my eyes away from him.  He roamed around the store looking at our offerings.  He found a book then went sit on one of our comfortable chairs.  I finished with my last customer, nervously I went over to him asking if he would like a coffee or a soft drink.  He smiled, "Yes I would thank you, coffee black."  I poured the coffee, bringing it over to him, welcoming him to the book shop.  As I went to give him the coffee his fingers touched mine sending shivers through my body. He looked directly into my eyes for a brief moment.  I became rattled walking away busying myself as I stole glances at the stranger.  He spent an hour or so reading, then came to the counter purchasing the book.

That evening laying on my bed I reflected on the day with images of the handsome stranger who visited the store.  I had thoughts swirling around my head of what it would be like to be in his arms, his hands caressing my body.  I became hard, removing my trousers along with my briefs.  I began stroking my erect member thinking of him.  I rubbed my nipples, with thoughts becoming erotic as my balls became hard.....soon releasing my sperm as my body shook to the intenseness of my orgasm.

The next day I was constantly checking to see if my stranger would come back but to my disappointment he never showed.  This went on for the next week until I resolved that he would not come back.  I was busy one afternoon placing new arrivals on the book shelfs when the door jingled as my handsome stranger walked in. "Hello, its a beautiful day"  I began shaking as I said:  "Yes it is, nice to see you back for more reading."  He went directly to the book shelfs examining our new books.  He removed one then headed to the sitting area.  Once again I asked if he would like a coffee with him replying:  "yes, thank you."  When I handed him the coffee he placed it on one of the tables and said:  "My name is Benjamin," reaching out his hand to shake mine.  "Its very nice to meet you Benjamin, my name is Landin."  I went back to work beginning to sweat from the touch of his hand.

This went on for a month or so as my shyness was becoming less evident with Benjamin coming into the shop more often.  We talked about books with him telling me how much he enjoyed reading.  We became friendly as our mutual interest in books became more of our main topic of discussion.

Then it happened, the day he asked me if I would like to go to dinner with him.  I looked at him in a daze with him saying:  "Are you okay?"  I snapped out of my stupor and said:  "Yes, I would love to go to dinner with you."  "How about this Saturday say 7PM?"  "That will be fine" so with that I gave him my address.

I worked at the bookstore until 4PM on the Saturday, rushing home to shower, preparing myself to look my best.  I dressed in a pair of black trousers with a gray crew sweater.  I wasn't the most handsome fellow, but I was tall, had good skin with blue eyes also dark hair.  I was feeling overwhelmed with nervousness as my hands were sweating.  My Mom said that someone was at the door for me.  I went downstairs greeting Benjamin as his eyes roamed over me.

"Are you ready?"  "I'm ready also very hungry"   Benjamin took me to a wonderful Italian restaurant which was very romantic with soft lighting also candlelite at each table.  

"Benjamin" he interrupted me, "please call me Ben" "oh yes no problem, Ben....as I was going to say, this is a wonderful restaurant, but I've never been here before."  "I think you will really enjoy it because their food is Five Star rated."

Ben ordered a bottle of wine in which we enjoyed before our meals came.  We talked when suddenly he looked at me with concern...."Landin I'm gay."   I was in shock not knowing what to say. "Please say something, I'm sorry if I came on too forward." "No, no its just that I wasn't expecting to hear that."  "I don't know what to say, I think I am also gay, but I have never experienced sex with another man."

He took my hand, looking deep into my eyes and said:  "I have had sexual experiences, but when I saw you in the bookstore there was something about you that just drew me to you."

Our food came which was so incredibly prepared, but as I watched Ben eat, his full lips were wet, moving slowly as my mind drifted with feelings of desire for him.  I became erect with the balance of the meal in wonderment of what it would be like to have him.

He took me home, I thanked him for the wonderful dinner but as I was about to leave the car he pulled my arm, pulling me into him as he placed a soft kiss on my lips.  It took me a minute to react because my heart was racing so fast.  "Landin are you okay?"  "Yes I'm more than okay," reaching over kissing him back.  

"I would like to see you again, would you like to come to my home for dinner, I'm a pretty good cook?"  "Yes that would be nice, when?"  "How about next Saturday at 6:30."  I told him that was fine, he said he would text me his address.

I walked into the house with my parents stating that Ben seamed very nice.  I told them he was then went straight to my room.  I believed that my parents suspected that I was gay but I never spoke to them about it.

As I entered my room I felt like this was my sanctuary where I could think while also dream.  I laid on my bed once again thinking of Ben. Could this be real or am I just dreaming I thought.  Once again thinking of him I became erect, stroking my cock to its full 7".  I stripped, thinking what it would be like to have him in me....with these thoughts it took no time before I erupted with a huge load of semen.  I took my cum with my fingers tasting it for the first time finding it very sweet and delicious.  

I drove to Ben's on Saturday, stopping to get a bottle of wine.  I rang his doorbell....he opened the door with a huge smile on his face. "Come in Landin, its so good to see you," as he kissed me.  We had a glass of wine before dinner, then Ben showed me his beautiful home.  I said:  "Do you mind me asking you how old your are?"  "No not at all, I'm 32.  "How old are you Landin?"  "I'm 26, 27 next month."

We enjoyed a wonderful dinner that he had prepared then went sit in the living room.  We talked for some time then he reached over kissing me.  Our kiss became erotic, then he began kissing my neck sending shivers through me.  He got up, took my hand leading me into his bedroom.  He began undressing me, when all my clothes had been removed accept for my briefs, he got on his knees pulling my briefs down as my erection popped up.  He took me into his mouth as I gasped with such as rush of emotion.  He got up with me doing the same thing to him.  When I pulled his briefs down, his cock was most likely about 8" inches with substantial girth.  I looked up at him stating I had never done this before.  I licked the head, swirling my tongue around then taking him in my mouth.  He shrugged with pleasure leaning his head back.  

He had me get up, laying me on the bed, kissing me with such tenderness that my whole body was reacting to his wanting me.  He reached for the lube spreading it on me, then lubing his dick.  He placed himself at my entrance, pushing in slowly as he passed my tight muscle.  I tightened my body as he new it was painful.  "Just relax, I'm going to make love to you slowly.  He reached down kissing me as he began his slow movements inside me. Once he was buried in me he began a slow steady pace fucking me with care. 

Soon I was experiencing a feeling of total body pleasure as he began increasing his pace.  The bed began rocking to his rhythm as I pulled him down kissing him with desire that I had only read about in books or saw in porn videos.

Ben made love to me as our bodies became one, meshed together in erotic intimacy.  As he was fucking me he was holding me as my arms were around him.  Looking in my eyes he said:  "Are you ready to experience the most incredible feeling?"  "Yes I'm so ready."  Soon his breathing increased as he shuttered releasing his seed into me. I came feeling it spill out between us without touching my cock.  Fire works went off as we both felt something that fulfilled us in perfect harmony.

I came to the realization that he was good for me as he surrounded me with his outgoing nature, bringing me out of my shell.  We were both aware that our coming together was special, that in our loneliness we found happiness in each other.  Ben had been in previous relationships that never came to fruition.  

After we made love, from that point on Ben and I spent as much time as possible together.  I would spend the weekends at his home, a time of tranquility as I would lay on his lap as we read our favorite novel.  He would reach down kissing me, affirming his love for me. How could this be I wondered?  This beautiful man inside and out loves me.    

I awoke one morning....went to sit at my window, but I no longer had tears running down my face, but a smile.... with a feeling of joy in my heart.

Quote for Thought

"You can live in misery thinking of what could have been, or you can smile, hold your head high knowing that there is someone somewhere who will love you."               <Butch>