The extendable aqua spray pole changed my life! No, really. It meant I didn’t have to drag my ladders in and out of the van, risk my neck by climbing up two or three storeys on a windy day, or worse still deal with heights when hanging out my arse from a heavy night out. Okay I should explain – I’m a window cleaner. And my trusty spray pole meant I’d be done on my rounds by lunchtime so I could pack up, fuck off, and hit the gym.
I’m a bit of a gym head too. Six pack, decent guns, working on the pecs. My mates take the piss out of me because I pay so much attention to squats. But you’ve gotta balance out the top half with a good bottom half, right? That’s why they call me the Shane the Shelf. It is a big ass, I must admit. It’s constantly swallowing up my Calvins. I’ve always got a wedgie! I’ll often stand in front of the wall length mirror in the changing rooms and admire it from the side. I’m scouse through and through which means I look pure Irish. Dark hair, blue eyes, bit of stubble, some hair on my chest but the shelf is pretty smooth actually.
Sometimes the lads will give it a smack on the way past and make it wobble. One of them joked the other week I could have an OnlyFans with an ass like that. I’d just have to put a jockstrap on and twerk in front of the camera and the money would come rolling in! I think he had a point. Last year we went on a stag do to Benidorm for one of my mates’ birthdays. I thought it would be highly comical to wear a mankini. Hit the strip with it wedged up my big wobbling ass, and some gay guy asked for a photograph with me. I cocked one leg up on the bollard and the lad got on his knees and puckered up for the picture. Anyway, a month later one of the lads sent me a link to a Twitter post and it was my fucking ass in the mankini – and it had thousands of likes and shares. So I told my mate if the window cleaning ever got too much I’d look into it. Little did I know…
So back to the spray pole. My pride and joy! Until my nephew Danny came on the scene. So I’m thirty but I’ve got this nephew who’s 17 and was in need of some cash-in-hand work. His mum, my sister Lou, begged me to let him help out on the rounds so I eventually gave in. He’s a cheeky little scally, handsome devil just like his uncle Shane, but he’s also one lazy little shit. I told him a hundred times to collapse the pole properly before putting it back in the van but he didn’t listen and before I knew it, the thing was broken in half. We had a right barney over it, I called him a lazy little fucker and deducted the money it would take to get a new pole from his wages so in the end his two days’ work amounted to about twenty quid in his pocket. He stormed off in a mood and needless to say he hasn’t been back! If that doesn’t teach him a lesson about responsibility nothing will.
As a result, I had to go and do Tugmore Terrace – all two hundred houses – without the spray pole, dusting off the old ladders and going at it the classic way. Luckily it was a typical Spring day, dry and bright, not too windy, and I hadn’t had a skinful the night before so everything was looking pretty doable. I’d forgot just how much you could see into people’s bedrooms though and was taken by surprise a couple of times. Mainly looking at the state some people left their rooms in! Unmade beds, dirty clothes on the floor, peeling plaster work, there was even one bed covered in old pizza boxes. I suppose not everyone can be an OCD clean freak like me. But that was all small fry until I got to number 23.
Having only ever done his windows from the ground, the most I’d seen of the lad who lived there was handing him my original payment details and maybe once or twice doing yoga in his front room. Fit young lad, mixed race with green eyes, handsome, skinhead, tattoos, bit airy fairy. No offence, like, I imagined he was gay. Which was fine by me, each to their own, right? As a single lad I’ve enjoyed the attention from other men before and never really ruled anything out. Must admit when I’d seen him do his yoga it did amaze me how flexible he was, getting his legs back over his head. Pretty sure I’d got girls in that position before and had a whale of a time. In fact, seeing him once did trigger a memory. Me railing a pole dancer I’d met on Tinder, her wearing thigh high boots which were literally wrapped around her head while I pummelled her cunt until she actually squirted all over my abs. I got a semi on just thinking about it.
So I got to number 23, climbed up the ladder and when I reached his bedroom window the sight before me made me laugh out loud in shock. There was the tattooed lad, on his bed, face down ass up. He was naked, his mocha skin glistening with sweat, his dick rigid and dripping, rubbing a massive black dildo on his gaping ass in front of a propped-up phone that was filming him. I was so distracted I missed my footing, falling and slamming my face against the window. The lad dropped his dildo and looked at me in shock. Our eyes met and before I knew it I was slipping from the rung and gravity was dragging me down the ladder to the ground!
Grabbing on to the side of the ladder, I managed to fall in slow motion and avoid any nasty injuries when I landed at the bottom. Luckily there was nobody out on the street to see me because I must have looked a right mug. My heart pounded, my adrenaline soared, and before I knew what had happened the front door opened and the guy from inside was rushing my way in his tight grey briefs.
“Mate are you okay?”
I stood up with an embarrassed laugh. “I’m good it’s fine!”
“You nearly gave me a heart attack!”
“I could say the same to you!” I joked, but then suddenly my knees buckled. I felt the air being sucked from me and suddenly was so light-headed I had to grab on to him for support.
“Whoah, you’re not okay.”
I tried to argue I was fine but clearly I wasn’t. He scooped his arm around my waist and helped me up the steps into his house. I got a whiff of the cocoa butter he’d used on his skin and something stirred in me as I flopped my head against his chest. He wasn’t built like me but was clearly a strong guy being able to support me like he was. Must be all the yoga, I thought, imagining him spread eagled as he threw me down on his sofa. Flashes of him playing with that dildo mixed with the dizziness of my fainting was a heady combo – one that made me spring a boner in my grey joggers.
I came to on his sofa, in a room full of plants, with sage burning in the corner, and found my cock was throbbing so hard it ached. Instinctively I reached down to give it a squeeze just as he came walking in with a cup in hand, still in his briefs.
“Coffee with a gazillion sugars,” he said. “Oh. Sorry.”
His eyes were on my bulge. He looked away, placing the coffee on a wicker table in front of me.
“No I… sorry, it just happened.”
“Have you been hard since you caught me fucking myself?” he asked. “Soz I’m joking.”
Awkwardness prevailed. He didn’t know where to look and neither did I – although my eyes drifted to his super tight ass in those grey briefs as he went to the window and opened it to let some air in.
“Just wasn’t expecting to see you at the window!” he continued.
“I probably should warn people,” I said, sitting up dizzily. “I’d never usually be looking into your bedroom like that. But my spray pole is broke.”
He shot a look between my legs where my eight inch tool was refusing to play ball and wind its neck in. “Doesn’t look that way to me,” he laughed. “Soz again.”
I laughed, taking hold of the coffee and having a sip. “Jesus that is sweet.”
“Thought it would revive you. Do you want me to call someone?”
“Nah I’m good honest. I’ll get out your way in a sec, let you get back to… y’know.”
“My OnlyFans!” he responded.
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, was doing a dildo video for it but my tripod’s fucked so had to prop the phone up on my pillows. But it keeps falling so I have to keep starting again. I’ve been bouncing on that dildo for an hour. Hot mess.”
“My spray pole and your tripod…”
“You just can’t get the hardware.”
We fell silent, awkward as I willed my hard on to go down.
“You make much money off it then?” I said, trying not to appear as interested as I was.
“Nah,” he admitted. “It’s not bad but I couldn’t live off it. I do yoga instructing and stuff-“
“That explains the… er… positions,” I laughed. “Impressive.”
“You’ve seen me do yoga?!”
“Just caught glimpses sometimes,” I replied. “Jesus I sound like a pervert.”
“I’m here for it.”
Another silence fell between us. His eyes traced my body as I drank more coffee.
“But yeah my hat’s off to anyone who can do yoga. I go the gym all the time but I could never-“
“Yeah I could tell you’re pretty fit,” he interrupted.
Another awkward silence. Then he cleared his throat and stood, speaking as casually as he possibly could.
“I should just buy another tripod. But I need to get this video online, like, yesterday, I’ve lost twenty followers in a week.”
“Something you said?”
“Just lack of new content.”
“Sounds like hard work keeping up with demand!”
“It is!” he said. “Seriously they just eat it up and spit it out, the more you post the more they want! Was looking at tripods before and it wouldn’t be delivered til Friday. Could do with a cameraman!”
For some reason the minute he said that my dwindling stiffy started coming back to life. He looked right at my crotch then into my eyes with a smile.
“Sorry you don’t need to hear all this after you just nearly broke your neck!”
“Nah it’s cool,” I laughed. “Taking my mind off it to be fair. But I’ll leave you to it, I’ve got a few more houses to do.”
I stood, and my bulge was sticking out so far there was no way I could hide it. I went to move and he reached out, resting a hand on my arm. There was a tingle between us as his skin touched mine.
“You sure you should be going back up that ladder so soon? Maybe you should give yourself an hour…”
“I can’t just sit in my van for an hour,” I reasoned.
“No but… I dunno. You could just chill here. Couch is yours, I’ll be upstairs anyway.”
“What… making content?”
I sniggered, swigged more coffee.
“You could always be my cameraman?” he offered, a twinkle in his eye.
There was that awkward silence again. There was tension in the air. The throb of my cock was growing – and I could see him stiffening up in his briefs too. I didn’t know what to say and he could feel my awkwardness.
“Ignore me, you go and chill in your van!”
“No it’s not that! I mean what if I fuck it up?”
“You’ve literally got to point the phone at my hole,” he said. “You probably don’t spend that much time looking at other lad’s bum holes though, amma right?”
“Right.”
“Well let’s break the ice!”
He giggled cheekily, before stepping out of his boxers and revealing a pretty girthy six inch cock, completely shaved. He turned until his smooth brown bubble butt was pointing in my direction. Then he stepped up on the sofa where I’d been laying, bent down and spread his cheeks to reveal a hairless pink pucker. My eyes were glued to it until he turned and looked around at me with a big cheeky beaming smile.
“It won’t bite,” he said. “Think you can handle it?”
“I reckon I probably could,” I told him, my voice almost cracking as my adrenaline started to pump.
“Cool let’s do it then. Showtime.”
He turned and headed out, beckoning me to follow. I did, my hard on jutting out in my pants and starting to leak as I followed him up his stairs. His butt was in line with my face as he climbed each step, and the scent of his cocoa butter wafted under my nose. Was I really looking at this lad’s ass like it was a pussy?
“What’s your name?” I asked him.
“Duane,” he said. “You?”
“Shane.”
“Duane and Shane, are you kidding? That’s got content creators written all over it!”
He led me along the upstairs landing to the front bedroom. Neat and tidy, so my OCD was put at ease, but the whole place smelled of cocoa butter and baby oil. Grabbing his glistening black dildo, he hopped on to the bed before grabbing his phone. Scrolling, he found a video and turned the screen to show me.
On the video Duane was face down getting absolutely railed by a large older daddy type, squatting behind him and thrusting hard into his ass. The video was shaky as Duane held the camera in selfie mode, crying out in a mixture of pleasure and pain.
“See this is what I normally put out. I like it to be a bit rough around the edges, they don’t want glossy perfect angles on my OnlyFans. So no pressure at all!”
I scoffed, rubbing my crotch without realising as the big guy pulled what must have been nine inches of cock out of Duane’s ass and sprayed his face with a thick creamy load. Duane switched it off.
“Actually before we start I need a top up.”
“Of what?”
“This.”
He took out some baby oil and threw it in my direction before flipping over, dropping his face to the mattress and pushing that smooth caramel coloured ass up in the air.
“Could you oil my ass up?”
“Oh, I… er…”
“Come onnnn,” he moaned, wiggling it at me. “It’s just like washing windows!”
“How is it like washing windows?!”
“Okay technically it’s washing my back door!”
I started to laugh, then he started to laugh, and it was hot and funny at the same time. The humour cut through the tension and next thing I knew I was pouring baby oil all over his pert ass. Slowly I reached down and started to run my hands over his flesh. He goose bumped up and I bricked up, my hands finding his crack and rubbing the oil deep inside it. Duane moaned and arched his back, spreading his legs and pushing his long brown tool down so it pointed back towards me. The oil dripped from his crack down his balls to his cock and I followed the drip with my hands, slowly taking his cock in my hands and squeezing it. My mind was blown. I was greasing up another man’s cock! And to be honest, it was hot as fuck feeling his meat pulse in my hands as I milked it. Looking at that hole wink as I tugged his cock, I couldn’t resist sliding my other hand back to his ass and pushing the tip of my finger into it. He released a low moan as the finger slide into his chute – surprisingly tight considering the heavy traffic it was used to. I edged the finger deeper, deeper, feeling the hot flesh tighten around it. Suddenly I wanted to be all in – fingers, hand, you name it, I wanted to be enveloped by him.
“Jesus!” he cried out. “Stop or I’ll cum.”
“So will fucking I,” I sighed, giving in to the throb in my joggers.
Pulling away, I grabbed a towel and wiped my hands down as he turned and looked at my bulge.
“That seems a shame to waste,” he confessed.
“I’m the cameraman, Duane! Just the cameraman!”
“Okay okay.”
His tone was light and jokey with a sting of mocking, like he knew me better than I knew myself at that point. He passed me the phone and took hold of the dildo.
“It’s filming so just start on my face then move to my ass when I tell you. Okay?”
“Okay.”
As I filmed him, Duane took the dildo and ran it slowly along his lips before sliding it into his mouth. He looked straight into camera – and directly into my eyes.
“I’ve wanted your cock for so long,” he purred. “In my mouth, down my throat til I choke. I want you to fucking own me with that cock.”
He started to deep throat the dildo, his slobber hanging in strings and dripping all over his smooth naked body. His eyes watered as he started to fuck his own throat with the dildo.
“Fuck it’s so big!” he cried. “It’s too big, it’s choking me!”
He rammed it back in his mouth, slurping, spitting, gagging. His cock stood at attention, as did mine.
“I bet you wanna cum down my throat don’t you?” he asked, coming closer to me, the questions pointed squarely in my direction. “I bet you want to empty those big fat balls all the way down right into my stomach. Make me taste those babies you’ve got in your sack.”
He edged ever close to me until I could feel the heat of him radiating against me. He looked up over the camera into my eyes.
“I’m just your fucking spunk bucket.”
He smirked, his eyes drifting to my crotch.
“I’m making you wet. I can see the patches.”
I looked down and sure enough there were dark patches of pre cum seeping through my joggers.
“I want you in my hole!” he groaned before lying back and throwing his feet in the air, letting them drop on either side of his head. He was bent like a human pretzel, his elbows resting under his knees, his hole gaping in front of me and his camera.
“Come closer,” he moaned. “Watch me gape.”
I climbed on to the bed, holding his phone and pushing it further towards his pink hole as he started to flex it. I was amazed to watch his hole literally gape in front of me, his pink anal walls on show beckoning me to come in closer. I was having flashes of my pole dancer, how her pink pussy lips frothed up for me in that position. His hole was shiny and wet, and with each gape I could see deeper inside, a red tunnel just begging me to travel inside it.
“You can see inside me,” he groaned. “Imagine how hot it feels sucking your cock right up into me. Milking that hard dick until it fills my guts with all your hot cum!”
He looked down at me. “I can see how hard you are. How much you want to put that dick up my ass. You wanna fuck me don’t you? Tell me you wanna fuck me!”
It was on the tip of my tongue. I literally wanted to say it right back to him but I held back. He took hold of the dido and started to slide it into his gape.
“I need more lube…”
He took the dido out and sucked on it again before positioning it back at the opening between his ass cheeks and slowly started to slide it in, moaning loud for the camera – or was it for me?
“Oh fuuuck!” he cried. “Fuck you’re so big! You’re gonna split me open!”
He pushed it deeper, his dick pulsing and firing out some pre cum which in turn made me gush inside my pants. I looked down and a “Fuck” escaped my lips. He looked over the camera and into my eyes.
“You wet too?” he asked.
I just nodded.
“Fuck me,” he moaned. “Fuck me deep!”
He started to pound his hole with the dildo, writhing on the bed as he ravaged his own ass with the greased-up dong. He lost himself in it as I filmed, moving from his hole to his face as it contorted with pleasure. I edged closer until his feet were inches from my face.
“I wanna cum on cam,” he said. “But I need my hands free to do it. Would you?”
I scoffed, shaking my head.
“Please. Please help me cum!”
He stopped fucking himself and grabbed his cock with his right hand and started to squeeze his nipple with his left. My wet dick strained against my joggers as I looked at that dildo glistening with ass juice and lube, hanging out of his gape at my crotch. Slowly I reached down, gripped the base… and started to slide it inside him. I tilted the phone to film my hand as it pushed the dildo in, and slowly pulled it back out making him groan in delight.
“Yes that’s it. Fuck me!”
I started to push it harder, imagining it was my hard eight inch shaft sliding deep into that pussy. Looking him in the eyes, the phone fixed on his hole, I started to drive it in and out harder, banging all ten inches deep into his cunt. He wanked furiously, and I felt my own balls tensing as I pounded him. I couldn’t play with my cock because both hands were busy, but the more I fucked that wet squelching hole, and the more I saw his dick leak its juices all over his stomach, the more the nut milk churned in my sack.
“Fuck yeah my fucking cameraman is fucking me!” he cried out for his viewers. “I’m so close! Make me cum! Make me cum! Harder!”
I started to ram it as deep as I could, breaking through his second hole and sending his eyes rolling and his moans soaring until I worried that the neighbours would hear everything. His cock throbbed, his hole gaped and suddenly…
“I’m gonna cum!”
Duane blew seven ropes of cum all over his smooth chest and face. I just about caught it on camera before he took the phone from me, threw it down on the bed and whipped my joggers down in one fell swoop. He knew what I needed and I knew what he wanted. Suddenly any kind of hesitation was replaced by an urgent need to fuck like animals. Together we struggled to get the joggers off me completely before he threw me down on my back and straddled me.
His hole was still gaping from the dildo but it felt tight and hot on my girthy eight incher as he sat down on it and milked it for all it was worth. The heat of his insides burned around my rigid tool as he slicked it up with anal juice, bouncing hard on it as his still erect cock splashed his cum all over my chest. As he rode hard and fast he looked me deep in the eyes before diving down and kissing me hard and passionate. His tongue found mine and we fell into the deepest kiss as my balls gave up the ghost and let loose.
Torrents of my sperm filled him deep, each shoot feeling like fireworks as he cried out at the hot splooge flooding his deepest recesses. I moaned hard and loud as I came for what felt like two minutes… and then he pulled off me and swept down engulfing my cock with his mouth to give it a good clean off, bringing his phone around to film himself as he slurped his own ass juice up like a hungry pig.
He switched it off as he sat up, his face covered in butt slime and cum. I was plastered to the bed, my head spinning, my heart pounding, my dick slowly softening against my abs. My eyes fell on to the phone as I realised he’d filmed himself sucking me.
“Don’t worry,” he said. “It’s just a dick. A fucking beautiful one but just a dick.”
I laughed, sliding off the bed and standing to find my trousers.
“My mates actually said I should be on OnlyFans!”
“Are you kidding me with that ass?!” he said. “That is cake and a half!”
I pulled my Calvins up slowly so they swallowed up the ass for him to see.
“Okay please tell me whoever your lucky girlfriend is, she eats that for you.”
“I’m single actually. I’ve had a couple of girls do it but they’re just a bit…”
“Squeamish?”
“Could say that.”
“Okay I need to show you how it’s done. Because ass like that needs to be worshipped!”
“Mate I need to crack on with work but maybe when we make the next video!” I joked.
“Wait… next video?”
As I saw the look on his face – one of genuine surprise – I started to chub up at the thought of doing more with him. Maybe it wasn’t such a crazy idea.
“You said it yourself,” I told him. “Duane and Shane’s got content written all over it. Just one condition though.”
“What’s that?”
I could feel the cheeky smirk creeping across my face, I knew there was a glint in my eye. Something had been unlocked today. Blame it on the near-death experience. Blame it on his perfect hole milking my cock.
Whatever the cause, I was beaming when I informed him: “Shane comes first.”
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