"I am Pepe, I have bed number ten". He said.
"It's great to know", I said.
Then I went to sleep till Pepe started moving me to wake me up, "You have to get up Cobo, it's one rule about doing exercise at seven in the morning before going to the showers".
"I don't exercise Pepe, and I won't take a shower, maybe tomorrow".
"Oh no, you can't do that, you have to get a shower every day and run for twenty minutes no matter that you are not used to it". He said.
"Okay, lets go", I stood up and went with Pepe. Every body was running in a line, I was the only one with no clothes to exercise, and I was number nine in the line, everything was number nine, my place in the table, my bed, my place in formations, also my place to practice marching for ceremonies.
I found six little packets with clothes on my bed. Tow was for exercising and sports, one was clothes for excursions and camping. The three packets come with shorts. Pepe said they had that kind of activities.
Tow other packets were normal clothes, long trousers and shirts to use them daily. There was also one other packet with socks, underwear and tow pairs of shoes.
I told to Pepe that I felt myself as a millionaire in the military, I had never had so many clothes. Pepe laugh and said that they treated us a bit like that but we were free to be normal people once being out of the building.
"So once out of the building we may forget about this fanatics?", I asked to Pepe.
'"Yes, though you have to keep the clothes outdoors, any of those you have in the packets, it is like saying that you belong here. Neighbors will always knew that you are one from the congregation of light".
"Told you", I said.
After having a shower I put on the casual clothes which happened to be identical to Pepe's clothes and to everybody's clothes. Pepe guide me to the table to have breakfast.
Before starting breakfast everybody made some sort of pray.
The woman whom I met the night before step behind me and said, "Could you tell to your roommates who you are?".
"I am Cobo", I said.
The lady wasn't satisfied with that and said, "tell us more about you".
"Okay", I dance, I sing, I am looking for a job, I plan to buy a truck and return to my community. It's not a perfect place but guess there's not such thing as a perfect place anywhere".
"Great", she said. Then she told to the others, "Tell him something about us guys".
Number one said, "You can stay here or you may leave but if you leave you won't be welcome anymore".
"I will remember that", I said.
And number tow said, "You may go out or stay but you have to be on time for meals and go to bed after dinner".
"fine", I said.
"You may learn how to cook or how to make bread but if you don't want to learn you don't have to".
"I don't think I am good at it", I said.
Then number four said, "You have to follow rules and use this clothes and also assist for one hour for a talk after breakfast,everyday.
"What's the talk about", I asked And the woman said, "It's about how to enlighten your life"
"I don't mind", I said.
Number five said, "You can't do drugs, smoking, no alcohol and you can't sell yourself in the street".
"I don't do any of those", I said.
"No bad words in Spanish neither in English, you can't fight and no sex at all is allowed".
"I don't understand". I said.
Then every body laugh and other guy who hadn't spoken yet said, "you can't, not with yourself included ".
"I know what you mean", I said.
The next one said, "If you come to enlighten your spirit you could stay here for ever"
"For ever?" I said. "Doing what?".
Other guy said, "You can't break the rules but if you fail you won't be expelled but you will be punished".
That sort of catch my attention and I said, "How is that I would be punished".
"Punishment, punishment, punishment", everybody said at the same time.
The woman smiled and said, "they are trying to scare you it's not really a punishment".
Then Pepe said, "Nothing to worry, you might have to stay one day long in a room so you can think on what you did wrong, and you can't go out till next morning to join us to exercise.
"But they will gave you food and lots books". Someone said.
"One day long including night?", I asked.
" Cobo", Pepe said, "One day means day and night".
"Oh no", I said, I can't do that.
"Then you won't brake the rules", the lady said.
Actually following the rules was easier than it sound.
Something new I found was that I could stay longer in warm water in the shower after everybody left the place.
It's not only that I wasn't used to showers with warm water but also that I was able to sing. The only moment and place where I was able to sing, even if I was alone the chant would protect me in that place full of light.
When I told to Grand pa what happened with the sorcerer Grand pa told me that he would gave me a melody and a song that was an enchantment very effective to fight that bad presence that already found me.
Then I used to sing this song when I was in the shower, feeling the water falling on my body.
This boy is no evil This boy is powerful Sings to the moon a runa And the boy becomes a faun.
This faun is not evil This faun is powerful Sings to the sun in praise And this faun grows while dance I sing and dance with a runa I sing and dance in praise That the spirit that haunts me Appear before this faun When Grand pa though me this song I said that I definitely didn't want this presence to appear before me.
And Grand pa said that I needed to see in order to negotiate and stop it to do any harm to me. In any case, the song was enough powerful to keep me safe, even if I was not ready to see it.
When I moved with pa he didn't want me in his room. I had to stay in my room.
He hated everything that Grand pa had thaught me. He used to say that those stories are bullshit. But I had probe that pa was wrong. I saw something in that trance that pa wouldn't ever be able to understand.
Then pa started complaining because I had to sing till I went sleep.
I learned to sing like whispering and still pa kept complaining.
Traveling alone was my challenge and now I was there in that strange congregation praying non sense things, but they had the shower with warm water, food and roof. what else could I ask.
There I was one day when Pepe saw me in the shower and asked me, "what are you singing?", he was naked and he step into the shower with me.
"It's a song", I said, "I always sing, it sounds a bit Andaluz but it's not, and it's in the language of my grand pa", I explained.
"I like it", he said, "You may continue I'll listen".
I kept singing looking up to the light of the windows and somehow I started feeling something. Pepe was touching me.
I hesitate, I was not sure if jumping out of the shower, give him a punch or not paying attention at all.
I choose for the last one, actually it didn't feel bad. It was similar to a massage that Aunt Beth used to gave me when I was very little.
I kept singing but looked at him. The water was falling on his head making his dark skin look bright.
"You are very brown, I am a little brown too", I said.
"No you aren't", he said, "And you are not white as white people that I know"
"Oh well, then what color do you think I am?", I asked.
"I've never seen this color, I actually think you have no color at all".
I looked to my skin, It never occurs to me to think on what color I was.
He smiled, I thought I should smile as well but felt something. He was pulling my dick and it was getting hard.
I stopped singing. "What are you doing", I asked.
"What you think I am doing", he said.
"It is totally forbidden in my community, we are men both"
"Yes", he said, "and it's totally forbidden here as well".
"We will get in troubles, remember the rules". I said against my will because actually I was feeling so good.
Pepe went on his knees, I looked down. He took my penis into his mouth.
"Stop", I said, but it was the greatest thing I had ever felt in my body.
He kept doing it till my milk went out. Pepe hold my dick and swallowed all. He kneel up and hug me.
"Was you serious when you said you haven't done this before?", he asked.
"Yeah, I was!", I said. And I hug him too.
"I don't believe you, I am sure you like to everybody, can't be true what you are saying".
He went close to my face and kissed me in my mouth. It was much to understand where I was standing. All I wanted was to stay in the shower next to him and hug him.
Till then I wasn't exactly sure that I am gay, but the emotion I had was the closest thing to that. I had never hug someone like this, it was totally new.
We stayed like that till I heard a voice, "What you think you are doing". It was the woman who had been telling about the rules.
Pepe just said, "Uphs".
"Put on your clothes and follow me", she said.
Pepe and I went to put on our clothes, "what is going to happen now", I asked to Pepe.
"Don't worry", he said, "Just a whole day reading books that's it".
"You mean in that room all day and night".
"Yeah, it's what I mean". Pepe said giving me another kiss.
"It's all your fault, you most tell her that I didn't do anything".
"You didn't do anything?, come on, you did as much as I did, the fact that I suck you doesn't means that you are entirely innocent".
"But I am", I said.
"You are behaving selfish", Pepe said, " you just want to look innocent and you are not".
"You most tell her that it was your fault, I insist", I said firmly.
"Fine", Pepe said, he went to talk to the woman and said, "It's all my fault, I went into the shower with Cobo and made all this happen, actually he didn't do anything".
The woman didn't answer, "follow me", she said.
She talked to our leader, his name was Mauricio, telling to him we did and she gave him some instructions.
Mauricio went close to us and said, "Pepe will be in detention tomorrow, come with me Cobo".
It wasn't a room as I imagined, it looked more like a little library with a single bed and a bathroom.
"You will stay here", he said, "I will bring everything you need".
From that moment my torture started. I was entirely alone. I started feeling dizzy, later I was already in panic. I started dancing, dancing and singing.
This faun is not a boy This boy in powerful This faun dance with the moon This boy dance a runa Shit Shit This faun is powerful Shit Let me out of here Shit Once I went tired I stopped dancing and kept singing, I forgot my cross of palm in my other clothes. The air started moving as if bad spirits started coming, as prelude to that thing with no flesh that chases me every time I am lonely.
Minutes were like hours and hours were like days.
And there was something worst, the light of the evening getting weaker and I wasn't able to find how to turn on the light of that room.
The door went open, Mauricio arrived with dinner. "How can I turn on the light", I asked.
"There's not light in this room, you better go to sleep when it gets darker".
Mauricio was our leader but he wasn't much older than me, I thought he had to kept some roommate spirit and have some mercy on me.
"Listen", I said, I can't stay alone, that thing will come and I will die, you have to let me go".
By then I was already crying and begging. The last thing I wanted was to stay all night alone.
I started singing again but didn't stop crying.
"Calm down", I heard. "They don't mean to make you suffer. This is only for you to find peace", he said.
"No peace, let me out please", I said.
Suddenly he opened the door and said, "you may go and have dinner with our friends, if you need something talk to me".
It was a relieve finding the other guys in the table and I sat among them. Pepe was next to me since he was number ten. I turn to look at him.
"Why are you here", he said.
""They let me out", I said.
"So now they believe it was all my fault".
"No, it's not that, I can explain", I said.
"Share up, I know why nobody likes you, you are very pretty but you are a big poop".
"A man is not pretty". I said.
"Oh yes, you are the closest thing to a pretty girl, a skinny selfish girl. A little body, incredible butt, black hair, black eyes, no color on your skin, and also a crap, a crap just as it is".
It was useless trying to fix things with Pepe, I was just happy that he was there.
Next morning we went up to go to exercise. I put on my shorts and the shoes and went to the line.
Pepe was running behind me, "you know pretty girl I won't be in detention today".
"Why not", I asked.
"Because we will go to a place that is meant to advertise books, we were invited".
"Really? I said.
"Yeah, but as soon as we come back I will go to detention and I will stay there in the darkness, I heard about your little drama you did last night".
I didn't respond to that, what could I said; that I didn't cry and beg, would be a lie; that I wasn't sacred, would be a lie. The reason I traveled alone was to get face to face with my fears and I totally failed.
When everybody went to shower Pepe got me and took me apart. He put me against the wall.
I thought he would hit me and thought I deserved it. But he kissed me, he hug me and I felt his arms around me, it was so great.
I hug him as well and had his tongue in my mouth and felt so much emotion but then I remembered that we would get in troubles again.
I pushed him. He looked at me and said, "You are such a pussy".
"You have to go first to the shower", he said, "you are number nine". I walked away to the showers feeling myself just what he said I was".
We were told about the invitation we had, just what Pepe told me a bit earlier.
We were told that we would assist to a place where somebody was offering an exhibition of books with the topic in ancient legends.
There would be a rendering of a legend and we would be part of it.
All we had to do was to stay in formation and watch a man dressed as a medieval priest telling about a legend.
I most say that if there is something abundant in my community are legends, although we don't have books because we don't even read but the more they are told the more they stay alive.
We were told to wear the uniform that was meant for ceremonies. Shoes made in fabric, thick white socks, shorts in kaki color and a shirt with short sleeves.
We had also a beret in a dark blue color. We were all dressed equal, including Mauricio who was our leader.
While we were standing in formation Mauricio told me to hold a bunch of flowers As part of the representation I had to march counting slowly towards the priest.
I wouldn't be alone, tow guys would march next to me but I would be in the middle holding the flowers.
"Why me", I asked. "The speaker choose you,he wants you to do it", Mauricio said.
One guy would be counting, one tow, one tow, as we walked and he would mark stop. Then I would continue alone countin one tow, one tow, in my mind to get in front of the priest.
The priest was a man dressed in a tunic who was the one telling the legend.
Counting one tow, one tow I would reach the altar, I had to kneel and gave him the flowers.
And that was exactly what we did, but it wasn't perfect. After I kneel and he put his hand on my head he said some words and I was supposed to get on my feet.
I don't know but this kind of thing has more effect on me than it has on any of my roommates.
His words were like a spell to me, although I went sure to bring my cross of palm those words had some effect on me.
When the priest put his hand on my head saying the enchantment I felt that he was doing something wrong. I was letting this man make an enchantment that could be dangerous, who could said the consequences..
I was supposed to get on my feet but I wasn't able to move. I heard the man whispering to me saying, "stand up, you have to go back".
I went on my feet and started walking backwards, which is how I was told to do it.
Then I felt that I stepped at something. It was the feet of one of my roommates who pulled me from my shirt and moved me in between them.
I heard people laughing. I think they noticed that I did something wrong.
Finally the guy marked half turn and we marched towards the big group.
When we arrived we waited till the whole thing finished and we were invited to lunch.
Before we left in direction to the bus a big guy went to talk to our leader and said that I did very good my part.
Then I realized that the tall man with white hair on his arms was the priest during the enactment. The white hair on his arms was the only thing I saw when I was in front of him.
Then he said, "I would like to invite Cobo to visit the exhibition of legends". Mauricio looked at me and I said nothing.
Mauricio said, "Of course, if he wants to ".
Then I raised my shoulders. "Are you sure?", Mauricio asked to me.
"He has something like breakdowns it's why I am asking him to be sure", he explained.
I actually didn't care but wasn't sure if it was better to go back and see Pepe going to detention or walking with a fake priest to see the title of a bunch of books.
"It's okay", I said.
They left and I felt myself in the middle of nothing with a complete stranger who at least for me looked like a sorcerer.
"You may call me Mr. Tim", he said. "okay", I said.
"Your leader told me a little bit about your background would you like to see books related to that?".
"I don't even know what is my background why would I like to see that", I said. Later I realized that I was rude.
"Lets go then", he said. "Wonder if something is bothering you".
"Sorry", I said, I was thinking about a friend who is in troubles but it's all right to see books Sir".
He was telling me about the books and the legends and also asking me questions.
"Tell me about you", he said.
"It's nothing so different", I said. "I used to dance. I even went to fairs to dance. First I went with a group and later I went on my own".
"Was easy to be accepted to dance in public?", he asked.
"It was by chance", I explained. "My cousins do acrobatics and I used to play with them doing acrobatics, just for fun. One day they needed me to go to the top of a formation, sat on a chair and raise my arm. I did it fine and people celebrated me more than they celebrated to the whole group".
"Was it very high?", he asked.
"Yes it was, but I don't feel fear to heights". I said.
"Then you are a brave young man", He said.
"Yes, I am. Later, the owner of the fair accepted me to dance and I started doing a little dance on week ends before the performance of other actors started".
"Your cousins were probably very happy for you", he said.
"No", I said, "they hated me since then".
"Sorry to hear that", he said.
Since we had broken the ice we kept talking and he invited me to have dinner.
"One rule in the congregation is that I most be on time for dinner Sir", I said.
"And what time is that?", he asked.
"Eight", I said.
"I have some news for you because it's eight o'clock already". He said.
"Oh no", I said, this can't be happening, I'll go to detention again". I said.
"Lets make a deal", he said. "I will call to the house and tell them that I invited you to stay and that I'll sent you back in the morning after you have breakfast with me".
"That would be breaking three more rules Sir". I said.
"Don't worry they will understand lets go and make a call".
"Okay", I said. "If they say it's all right I will be very happy".
We went to call and seem like everything was fine.
After dinner we went to a small apartment where he was staying and he started telling me about the legend that he presented that day.
It was not totally boring, but I couldn't stop yawning. The good thing was that he gave me sweet liquor that made me break another rule but was delicious.
"Do you want a little bit more, it will help you to sleep better", he said.
"It was true, actually the drink made me sleepy so one more would make me sleep like a rock and no fear would come to me.
I got the drink and this time I didn't tasted as much as I did before. I wanted just to get sleepy.
Just in case I said, "Sir, I wonder if I could have the door open, I can't sleep in an empty place".
"Is that some sort of phobia", he asked.
"I guess it's something like that, I don't know really".
"Of course you can do that if you wish, I warn you, I snore very strong". He said.
"Snoring is like a lullaby for me Sir". I said.
"Very well, he said, I will be in the next room if you need anything.
I took of my socks, trousers and shirt, kept my t-shirt and briefs and went to bed.
Mr. Tim went to his bedroom and it was true, his snoring was one of the best I had ever heard.
I went to sleep very soon. Then my dreams started. In my dream I was in my community with Paulino, the sorcerer.
He was cleaning me with the egg passing it all throughout my body. My dream started turning into a nightmare but before it went worst I felt an earthquake.
I woke up, went to the next room and I tried to wake up to Mr. Tim but he didn't respond.
The walls were moving and the sound was louder.
I looked to the door trying to get out of the building but my legs didn't respond. I wasn't able to move.
I started smelling something similar to the wood that Paulino burned that day and the light was the light of the candles.
I felt the room full of steam, the wind and the light went off. The wind started moving again and the spirits started to surround me.
I thought it was the end for me. That presence that I saw when I went to the sorcerer would come to get me. I just hoped it wouldn't but it started to appear.
It was that black tunic and the shape of it's body but this time it wasn't as empty as I saw it before, it was transparent white, I was able to see it. Finally I was seeing it although it had no color.
"I have to negotiate", I said to myself. "But how can I negotiate anything".
I went to see to Mr. Tim in the other room but he wasn't there, I went back to my room and tried to sing but my words didn't come. Seem like in dreams it is impossible to sing.
Mr. Tim had disappeared and I was alone with that thing. The warm feeling turn into cold and the tunic embraced me holding me towards my bed, just as things happened the last time in my community.
I felt it's weight. It was hurting me, it was doing something in my ass. Like the inyetion that the dentist put in my mouth just as bad as that but in my ass. It was doing noises, something inside my body and different sounds close to my ears.
That old presence that had being chasing me for years was going to kill me.
"I know you", I said. "I know you, I can see you", I said.
"If you don't kill me I will let you use my ass but you have to go after you finish", I said. "But you most do it slowly".
The dark entity kept fucking me, and I didn't complain any more, in my dream I learned to relax my anus and I cum.
Its arms started to get some color and went clearer. Finally I saw some flesh in it. It had a body and it was not empty. I only saw its arms because it was behind me but I knew it was visible.
The earthquake become a high sound like a "piiiiiii", and the room looked with artificial light coming from the window.
Then I heard, "Wake up Cobo, it's just a bad dream".
It wasn't that presence anymore, Mr. Tim was moving my body.
I understood that I was awake.
I moved to sit on the edge of the bed. I found myself with no underwear, wet and sticky. I cum in my dream, a very big cum.
"Where are my clothes?", I asked.
"Seem you didn't have any", Mr Tim said.
"I had my pants and a t-shirt", I said.
"Well, it's clear to me that you don't have any, they have disappeared, it's my guess". He said.
"Yes", I said, "They disappeared, it's incredible".
Something was different. I felt myself strange, as if all my fears had gone.
"It's intriguing", I said.
"What is intriguing", he asked.
"Are you really a priest", I asked to Mr. Tim.
"Not really", he said, "I went to the seminary for a couple of years but never become a priest, why you ask".
"I am not sure but probably that enchantment that you made to me during the ceremony has done something good".
"Why you think that?", He asked I feel as if my fears had just gone", I said.
"Why", he asked again.
"I saw the flesh of the spirit that has been chasing me for years".
"Do you mean that I made some magic on you?". He said.
"Yes, I saw it's arms,I negotiated", I said.
Mr. Tim stopped asking, probably he thought I was saying no sense things.
"Now that you are free of bad spirits we could have a shower and have some breakfast, would you like that?".
"Breaklfast is okay Sir".
"Fine", he said, Lets go to have breakfast and I will send you to the congregation.
I went on my feet and felt that uncomfortable feeling in my back hole, a strange feeling in my butt".
"Are you all right?", Mr. Tim said.
"Yes", I said, "That thing did something to me, I can't tell you because it's nasty, I am sure you don't want to know".
We had breakfast and I was in full relaxation, as if I could sing high notes again. "What else are you thinking", Mr. Tim asked.
"I wouldn't even care if they send me to detention for the whole week", I said. "It's much what I have earned this last night".
"Me too", Mr Tim said. "Never thought that I could do real magic as in my books of legends".
"yeah", I said.
And this is why I wrote my story, because it's how I confronted that presence that made me felt so bad for years.
It's strange that I am not sure if I can say that I experienced sex or not.
I don't know if sex in dreams counts as sex or not. But I am absolutely sure that the dark entity is gay and it has a very hard thing that went in my ass.
I have found a job in a store that sells second hand things, and I am just waiting to save to buy my truck and go back to my hometown.
Pepe lives in the congregation, we are good friends but we never had actually nothing more than kissing each other, besides his habit to suck me.
I live actually in the house of the owner of the store. He also uses me to model for his drawings and he has made a lot.
Although I don't live in the congregation I join my friends when they organize a camping and I keep being number nine.
Pepe asked me why I was so confident and different and he liked the change. My words come out and said, "I saw the arms of the shadow that has been chasing me".
"A shadow?", Pepe said.
"Yes it was an entity, it can't chase me or scare me anymore". I explained. "Do you think I am crazy?", I asked to Pepe.
"I don't", Pepe said.
"So what you think?", I asked.
"I am sure that the entity will find you again, maybe it will come much worst, don't you think it could happen?"
"Shit, don't say that Pepe".