I must have reread that letter 20 times. Eli was a very good friend to me when I needed one the most, I did owe it to him to go check on Cyrus. I quickly looked up Edgewater and found it was a smaller city about two hours away from Hartford. Maybe I could drive up there next weekend to see if I could talk to Cy.
I put the letter back in the envelope and picked up the journal. I started to read it, most of the entries were about the work that Eli was doing in the auto shop. I skimmed through most of those entries until I reached the date that I arrived at Springfield.
I got a new cellmate today; his name is Ethan. John was paroled two weeks ago, and I was getting used to having the cell to myself. Hank told me to look after him and help him. Just what I wanted to do, become a babysitter for some scared kid.
I smiled to myself; Eli was just as unsure of me as I was of him. He actually scared me when Hank first introduced us. I went to the next entry.
Ethan is actually a pretty good guy. He is a little naïve, I think he is gay and I had to tell that asshole Chuck to leave him alone. Chuck always tried shit with any good-looking new inmate, especially the young ones. Ethan confirmed he was gay when I told he needed to be more discreet.
I thought back to that first day and remembered that conversation. I guess Eli was right, I had no idea what was going on and obviously wasn’t hiding my true feelings. Seeing all those naked guys in the shower was too much and I guess I was checking them all out.
I read through a few more pages that were all about Eli’s daily activities in the shop. He really was a good mechanic and truly cared about doing a good job for the shop’s customers. I had never thought about it before, but I didn’t think Eli belonged in prison any more than I did. I know he said he made some bad choices and he accepted the consequences of his actions. I turned the page to read the next entry.
Ethan and I were laying in bed tonight and I heard the unmistakable sounds of him jacking off. I had wondered how long it would take for him to do that. To be honest, he lasted a lot longer than I thought he would. I told him it was okay and that we all did it.
A couple of nights later, I was taking care of myself and saw him looking over the bunk at me. I never expected him to do it, but he gave me the first blow job that I have had in over two years. I have never had the urge to let another man suck me, but I let the first cellmate I had do it. He was straight, just like me, but offered. I think he was hoping I would return the favor. He never offered again when I didn’t. Ethan was much better than he was. I could tell that he had done it before. I made it clear that he did not have to suck me.
I read through several more pages and finally saw the entry where Eli and I had sex.
I did something I never thought I would ever do tonight. I am afraid that I am developing some feelings for Ethan that I have never had for another man. I couldn’t help myself; I sucked a cock for the first time. Ethan surprised me when he wanted me to fuck him. I’m still not sure what happened, but when we were done, I even kissed him. I can’t explain it; it just seemed natural. I have to admit; I did not hate it.
I brushed a tear away; I was glad that that night was just as special to Eli as it was to me. At least that is what his entry sounded like to me. Him saying that he didn’t hate it brought a little smile to my face. I continued to read; all these memories were making me really miss Eli. I had always missed him, but there was always a chance that I would see him again when he was released from Springfield.
Ethan told me today that he has a chance of getting out of here. I was glad to hear that he had a real lawyer working on his case. Hank even told me that the lawyer was a good one and from all that he had heard, Ethan was all but guaranteed that he would be released. I am so happy for him.
I moved onto the next entry.
Ethan didn’t come back today after his court date. Hank came in and gathered his personal things and told me he had gone home with his mom and brother. While I was happy for him, I knew I was going to miss him. Over the last few months our talks had gotten much deeper. I was telling Ethan things about my life that I have never shared with anyone else. We talked about what we would like to do once we got out of Springfield. Ethan wasn’t sure what he wanted to do exactly, but he did like working in the construction field. He is the only other person that I told I would like to open my own auto repair shop. I had always enjoyed working on cars when I was a teenager, and my real dream would be to have Cy work with me. I could already see the sign above the door, “O’Reilly Brothers Repair”.
I had mixed emotions about that day too. Of course I was thrilled to be released from prison, but I was going to miss Eli just as much as he missed me. Those talks were very special to me too. Just like Eli, I had never talked to anyone else about some of those things, not even Danny.
The next pages of the journal were mostly about his work in the shop and his new cellmate. The only mention of me was when we exchanged emails. He always made sure to write that he was proud of me for going back to school and he was happy that I reconciled with my dad. A few pages later, he talked about Cyrus.
I got another letter from Aunt Claire. She is worried about Cy again. There are some new guys in town, and she knows that they are up to no good. She is afraid they may be a bad influence on him. I wrote Cy again and finally asked him to come visit me. So far, I have not heard back from him, and he has never come to see me.
I was a little sad for Eli, I know how bad I would feel if Danny and I didn’t get along as well as we do. The more I read the journal, the more I felt like I really did owe it to Eli to go see Cy. I wonder if Cy even knows that Eli is dead. Surely the prison has let the family know by now.
I got to the last page and read the final entry; it nearly broke my heart.
Hank just called me into his office. He told me that I was being considered for an early parole, I have a hearing with the parole board in two weeks. Hank also told me that he had written a letter recommending that I be granted parole. I can’t thank him enough for that. I am keeping my fingers crossed. I really want to go see Cy and make sure he is okay. I am even going to look Ethan up so we can meet and have that beer we always talked about.
I closed the notebook and set in on the coffee table. As I did, an envelope fell out of the back, it was a letter from Eli’s Aunt Claire. I saw the return address in the upper left corner, Claire Walker, 1247 Walnut St. I returned the journal and letters back to the big envelope and sat back on the couch and sighed.
I said out loud to no one, maybe it was just to myself. Yes Eli, I promise you that I will check on Cy. I am going to Edgewater this weekend and my first stop will be to see if Cy is still staying with Aunt Claire.
As all the thoughts about Eli and Cy were running through my head, I was startled when I heard a pounding on my door.
Danny rushed in as soon as I opened the door. “Hey big bro, Zoey and her friends are having a girl’s night out. Let’s go down to the Endzone for a burger and a few beers.”
I forced a smile, “Hey Danny.”
He frowned, “What’s wrong?”
I shrugged, “Nothing.”
Danny shook his head, “Don’t lie to me, I can always tell when you are upset.”
I sighed, “A guard from Springfield called me, and we met for coffee this morning. He told me that my cellmate was killed in an accident in the auto shop.”
He gave me a hug, “I’m sorry. Come on, let’s go eat and we can talk about it.”
I smiled, “Sure, I haven’t eaten all day, and I could use a beer. I need to take a quick shower first though.”
He nodded, “No problem, I’ll wait here.”
I went to the bathroom and started to undress, I yelled, “There is beer in the fridge if you want one.”
Danny laughed, “I already helped myself.”
Fifteen minutes later, we were driving to the Endzone Bar and Grill. It was a local sports bar that served really good burgers. We found a booth in the back corner and sat down and ordered a beer.
Danny asked, “So, the cellmate that was killed, is that the Eli you were telling me about?”
I nodded, “Yeah, he really helped me through the first couple of months in prison. We became very good friends. The worst part about it is he had a hearing with the parole board in two weeks, and he may have been released soon.”
He said, “I’m so sorry Ethan. I wish there was something I could do to help you.”
I smiled, “Just being here for me helps. Thank you for always being there for me.”
He returned my smile, “Where else would I be? You have always been there for me too.”
I sighed, “That’s what brothers do for each other.” I paused, then added, “Eli had a little brother too.”
Danny furrowed his brow, “Did you ever meet him?”
I shook my head, “No. Hank, the guard from Springfield also brought me a letter from Eli and gave it to me when we had coffee this morning. Eli mentioned his brother Cyrus in the letter.”
Danny asked, “Eli wrote you a letter?”
I nodded, “The first line said, if I was reading this, he was probably dead.”
“So, he asked this guard to give you this letter?”
I said, “Hank found it when he cleaned out Eli’s cell. Eli asked me to check on his brother, Cy.”
Danny asked, “What are you going to do?”
I took a breath, “I’m going to Edgewater this weekend to see if I can find him.”
“And then what?”
I shrugged, “I have no idea, I just have to keep this promise. I owe it to Eli.”
Danny chuckled, “Not only are you a good brother, but you’re also one hell of a friend.”
We ordered our burgers and had a couple of more beers. The night out with Danny was just what I needed. I was glad that I didn’t sit alone in my apartment feeling sorry for myself. I was so lucky to have my family.
The next day, I went to mom and dad’s for our weekly Sunday night dinner. I told them about Eli and that I was going to see if I could find Cy the next weekend.
Mom asked, “What are you hoping to do if you find Cy?”
I said, “I’m not sure. Mostly I just want to make sure Cy knows the Eli is gone and tell him his big brother was a good man.”
Dad said, “You have always had a big heart, Ethan. I know Eli meant a lot to you, but you might be setting yourself up for a big disappointment. I know how you felt when you lost Aaron, are you sure this isn’t just a reaction to losing Eli?”
I looked at dad; I had never mentioned Aaron to him. I asked, “How do you know about Aaron?”
He sighed, “I know you don’t think I know what you did after I kicked you out, but I do. I was relieved when you left Lowes for a better paying job with Bob. I was glad that you found that little apartment and weren’t on the street any longer. Hell, I wasn’t even mad that your mom gave you that money.”
My eyes went wide, “Did mom tell you about all of that?”
Mom shook her head, “Not directly.”
Dad nodded, “She just didn’t hide anything. I look at our bank statement every month and I saw the withdrawal from our account. You had saved your password to your account on the computer, so I logged in and I saw a deposit for the same amount. Your mom told me that she and Danny were going to lunch and after the second or third time I heard them talking about you, so I knew they were meeting you. I would listen from the other room when they got home to hear how things were going for you.”
I turned to mom, “Did you know all of this?”
She shrugged, “I might have had an idea.”
Dad chuckled, “That’s why she would leave her email open when she was writing to you in prison.”
I sighed, “You could have just asked dad, I told mom she could give you my new phone number.”
He said, “She did give me your number. I just couldn't swallow my pride and was too bullheaded to call you. But that didn’t mean that I stopped caring about you and wanting to know how you were doing.”
I grinned, “You never cease to amaze me dad.”
He shrugged, “I really did miss you.”
I smiled, “I know, I missed you too.”
Dad said, “All that I am saying is don’t set your expectations too high, Ethan. Eli and Cy might not have the same relationship that you and Danny do.”
I nodded, “I know dad, but I feel like I have to do this.”
Mom said, “Just be careful.”
I smiled, “I will.”
On Monday after work, I checked Google maps and planned my route to Edgewater. Edgewater was a town of about 20,000 people, about a quarter of the size of Hartford. I entered in the address of Eli’s Aunt Claire, it was easy to get to, I would stop to talk to her first. I hope Cy was still staying with her.
On Friday, I packed a bag, I wasn’t sure if I was going to spend the night yet, but I wanted to be prepared. The next morning, I started my trek two hours north, I arrived by late morning. I spent about an hour driving around town.
While it is smaller than Hartford, Edgewater is a nice town and had anything that anyone would need. The traffic was lighter and as I drove by a park, I saw a bunch of kids playing without any parents hovering over them. Maybe I can understand why some people prefer to live in a smaller town.
When my stomach growled, I decided to get something to eat before I went to see Aunt Claire. I found a diner and parked my truck. There were a bunch of what appeared to be retired couples and working folks eating lunch. I sat at the counter, and a young waitress handed me a menu and asked what I would like to drink.
She smiled as she set my iced tea down and asked, “Did you want to order lunch? Today’s special is meatloaf, mashed potatoes and corn. It also includes a dinner roll.”
I nodded, “That sounds perfect, I’ll have the special, please.”
She wrote my order down and said, “I’ll be right back.”
Five minutes later, I was eating my lunch, and it was very good. Much better than all the fast-food places we had back home. I paid my bill and pulled up the GPS on my phone. I had entered the address for Aunt Claire before I left home. Ten minutes later I was parked out front of 1247 Walnut St.
I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. A lady about the same age as my mom opened the door. She had the same piercing green eyes and red hair that Eli had, she asked, “Can I help you?”
I smiled, “Yes ma’am, my name is Ethan Andrews. I am looking for your nephew, Cyrus. Is he still staying here?”
She shook her head and rolled her eyes, “No, I kicked that little thug out of here a month ago. I’m sure he is up to no good with those low life friends of his. Maybe he is staying with one of his queer friends.” She looked me up and down, then asked, “How do you know Cy?”
I said, “I don’t really. I was friends with Eli; he asked me to check on Cy.”
She sighed, “My sister should have never had any kids, and the man that she used as a sperm donor was no better. I tried to get through to both of those boys, I had some hope for Eli, but Cy is a lost cause.”
I said, “Eli was a good man, he helped me out when I needed it the most.”
She squinted her eyes, “You were in prison with him?”
I felt my face turn red, “Yes ma’am.”
Claire said, “You know he is gone now, right?”
I nodded, “Yes ma’am. He wrote me a letter before his accident and asked me to check on Cy. I found your name and address with the things that the prison guard gave me with that letter.”
She shook her head, “I’m sorry Ethan, I can’t help you. Like I said, I haven’t seen Cy in over a month. The last I heard he was working at The Corner Bar on Edgewater Avenue, that is if he is still in town.”
I smiled, “Thank you, I’m sorry I bothered you.”
She sighed, “It’s okay. If you find him, maybe you can talk some sense into him. I did all I could for that boy.”
I nodded, “Thank you, I’ll see what I can do.”
I entered The Corner Bar into my phone GPS and started my drive to Edgewater Avenue. Edgewater Avenue appeared to be the main street when the town was a little smaller. All the new stores and restaurants had moved to the side of town near the main highway. I pulled up in front of the bar and chuckled. The Corner Bar was of course on the corner, it sat next to two other bars, The Middle Bar and The Other Side. I wonder if they all planned those names or the second bars just did it after they moved in. The rest of the businesses on the street were all locally owned, I assumed the rent was cheaper in this part of town.
There were no cars parked on the street, and I walked up to the door to find it locked. I saw the sign in the window that said the bar didn’t open until 4’oclock. It was 2, so I drove around town for a little while to kill time before the bar opened.
I got to the edge of town and saw the Walmart sign. I decided I could go in and wander around for a couple of hours. After about an hour, I found a bench by the front door and just sat there and watched all the people walk in and out. I let out a chuckle; you really do see all kinds of people at a Walmart.
Finally, at about 4:30, I drove back to The Corner Bar, I was hoping Cy was still working there. There were only a couple of cars on the street, but the neon Budweiser sign was lit up in the window. I heard the jingle of the bell above the door as I stepped inside.
As soon as my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I saw 4 or 5 guys sitting at a table at the far end of the bar. I heard one of the guys say, “We’ll be back in town by 2, that’s when we need the help…” He stopped talking as soon as they saw me.
I sat at the bar as one of the guys turned and began to walk toward me. As he got closer, my heart nearly skipped a beat. The tussled red hair was a little longer and he had matching gold hoops in each ear, but other than that, I would have sworn that Eli was walking toward me. When he stopped in front me, those intense green eyes met mine. I was sure that I had found Cyrus O’Rielly, this man was definitely Eli’s brother.
He asked, “What can I get you?”
I said, “I’ll have a Miller High Life, please.”
He nodded as he stepped to the side and pulled a bottle out of the cooler. He was wearing a pair of tight jeans and a tight t-shirt with the bar’s logo on the chest. He was a little shorter than Eli, but his chest was just as broad and muscular. His arms seemed to be stretching the fabric of his t-shirt to its limit. The eagle tattoo on his right bicep appeared as he reached into the cooler, another difference from his older brother. Dang it, he was hot.
He opened the bottle and sat it in front of me, “That’ll be $3.00.”
I handed him $4.00 and said, “Thank you, Cy.”
He took the money, stopped and gave me a long hard look, “Do I know you?”
I took a drink and shook my head, “No, but I am a friend of Eli’s”
He rolled his eyes, “What, he sent you here to check on me?”
I took another drink, “Sort of.”
He shook his head, “Tell him to stop worrying about me, I can take care of myself. Besides, what does he care, he’s not much help to me while he’s locked up.”
I said, “Cy, Eli is dead. He was killed in an accident a week ago.”
He stared at me while he processed what I had just told him. I’m sure it was not the news that he was expecting to hear.
He said, “Well, then he doesn’t need to worry about me again, does he?”
I took another drink and said, “I just thought you should know about Eli. I’m sorry.”
He shrugged, “What do you have to be sorry about, you didn’t kill him, did you?”
I shook my head, “No, of course not.”
Cy let out a deep breath, “It’s not like we were that close anyway.”
I sighed as I downed the rest of my beer. I stood and said, “Thanks for the beer.”
He nodded at me as he took the empty bottle and I walked out the door.
I know everyone told me not to get my hopes up and I’m still not sure what I was expecting to happen. I couldn’t help but be disappointed as I drove home. I swear I saw Cy fighting back a tear when I told him the Eli was dead. The look in his eyes changed from distrust to sadness. Something told me that they were closer than Cy was letting on. I mean why wouldn’t they be, according to Eli, they were all each other had growing up. Their dad was out of the picture, and their mom wasn’t much help when she was alive, that had to count for something.
As I replayed the events of the day over in my head during my drive back to Hartford, it suddenly hit me. Did Claire say that Cy might have been staying with his queer friends?
I wasn’t sure what I thought I wanted to do, but I still feel like I needed to do something to help him.
To be continued…
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