The Pornography Writer

He sat looking at a blank screen. Julian had been writing his entire life. As a child, he sent stories to ‘Highlights’ and ‘National Geographic Kids.’ He wrote stories about his life, his Nana and Papa, family and his friends. He published his first short story in his high school newspaper. Soon after a local college review and the Pawtucket Valley Times published his stories. By college he was writing for the Times on weekends as he worked on his first novel. At 21 he attended the famous Breadloaf writers conference in Vermont. He met an agent that thought his novel had potential. Two years later, Simon & Schuster published his critically acclaimed novel. Julian was on his way.

Julian Sampson Richardson hid what he thought to be a dirty secret. He liked boys. He loved to go to gym class in the 7th grade where Coach Crenshaw made everyone from grades 7-9 strip down for the gang showers. Julian would linger and watch his classmates naked bodies in various stages of maturity and size enter the showers and soap up. He learned quickly to take a close locker, shower first and fast. Then put on his tight jeans and dress slowly so his hard dick would be hidden as he watched the parade of boys enter and exit the showers.  The jeans concealed his arousal when he pointed his cock to his bellybutton. 

He waited anxiously for Jimmy Harper, a ninth grader with the biggest Dick he ever saw. Jimmy would dance around naked as his cock and balls flopping around like a watch on a chain mesmerizing him. 

Just a few years later he ran into Jimmy at a gay bar. They were both nervous and left together, quickly, Julian forcefully pulled Jimmy’s pants down in the car and attempted to swallow his enormous cock. It was even better than he imagined, the musky smell, the feel and weight of it in his hand, the challenge to stretch his throat, the strong hands on his head pushing him down hard and pulling his hair as he struggled for air, gagged and choked. The volcanic eruption in his throat as pulse after pulse of warm, sweet and funky liquid poured out of Jimmy’s cock. The challenge of swallowing everything and the smell and taste overwhelming his senses. If there was a heaven, Julian thought this had to be it as he lapped up every drop while listening to Jimmy’s grunts and moans of pleasure. Why didn’t they do this in junior and senior high school? So much time wasted. Julian was happy. He laid back in his seat as Jimmy eagerly devoured his cock and took his load but that meant nothing to Julian. Julian was a cocksucker. Not just a cocksucker but “a bigger the better” cocksucker that could only be satisfied completely by dominant heavy hung guys. Here his quest began.

Three months after the book was released and 800 large cocks later, Julian’s book tour was canceled due to poor sales and his three-book option was also canceled. He couldn't get an article published and the times was heavily editing his work because he was too wordy. His life ambition, other than cock sucking, went from attained to crushed in three months. He had no money and no ambition to do anything else but write. Well, nothing else for work. He was very busy satisfying every hung man in the San Francisco Bay area.

One morning as he discussed his plight to a guy he picked up at the Eagle hours earlier, he had an option. John was an editor at High Society, Hustler, Blueboy and others. He told Julian to write a few stories about his adventures and he’d consider publishing them. After Julian said he wouldn't know how to write straight porn, he was reminded they do both. “Just tell your stories. Who cares if you switch a guy to a girl. As long as somebody’s getting fucked in the mouth, pussy or ass, it's all the same.” He handed Julian his card and left. Julian had bills to pay so he took his last $20 to the new stand and bought some mags. He read them and got to work.

The next day, Julian sent John 20 hot stories. John bought 11 at $250-$500 per story. John was a working writer again and flush with dough, he celebrated by going to a bisexual sex club to blow off steam and do research for his next stories.

‘Jessica (actually Carlos from Cuba) was so horny last night. She dressed seductively ( like a man whore) in a short slinky black dress with no underwear to inhibit her (chaps with his ass cut out.) She entered the Carlyle Room in the swanky Hotel Le Pierre (the Eagle in the Castro) and set her eyes on him (yup, him) and signaled for him to enter the ladies room (men’s) where he was invited to enter her wet pussy (ass).’  You get the picture.

He had so many stories to tell and endless experiences to share, he could pump them out in hours. He had to spend a little extra time editing to be sure he had the names and genders correct when he was writing for a straight publication. Soon enough the months passed, then years and Julian hadn’t written a story or article for any other publication. People would ask, ‘where can I read your stories’. He always said they were for trade papers or written as promotional copy for major cooperations. ‘I’ll send you something Auntie’, and he never did. Eventually people just stopped asking.

He remembered back to those innocent days. If you could call bending over for his first big black cock as innocent. Well it was his first time with a big black one. With such skill and experience the older man just slowly but firmly stretched past his resistant sphincter and slid into paradise. As he was filled with big cock, Julian thought about how benign the pain he expected actually was. He had been fucked once before by an 8 inch hard cock and it hurt. This guy claimed he was 11 inches and probably underestimated the size and girth in reality. Julian learned that the bigger the cock, the better it felt. They weren’t rigid and hard like wood. They tended to be rubbery and stretched or shrunk to fit. In this moment, bent over an armchair getting slammed by this huge cock, Julian was so turned on each time those saggy tennis size balls slapped against his ball-sack and stuck together from lube and runny ass juices. This guy was speaking a foreign language as he pounded Julian’s ass. Julian pinched his own nipples and jerked his cock to meet the monster cock thrusts. He was so disappointed when he pulled out and came all over his back. Julian begged him to put It back in as he rushed to cum before it got too soft. He felt the man’s hand rub his back and firmly put it to Julian’s mouth full of his cum. Julian came hard as he ate the man’s sticky funk from his hand. The man laughed and said things Jillian didn’t understand or care about. Julian felt so good when he fell into the chair and was rewarded with the big dirty black cock to suck on and clean his ass off for 10 minutes. They did it again in 20 minutes. 

This may have been the first but years later, they became all the same. All the cocks were alike. Every night seemed to repeat itself over and over and over.

As magazine sales dried up and online sites took over, Julian’s jobs and therefore income were drying up. As a matter of fact, at 45, Julian was unsatisfied with many of his choices, the endless men, sexualizing everything for his readers and the distance he put between family, friends and himself. He needed a change. He started writing about his fondest memories in life, his childhood. All the moments that mattered minus the hyper sexualized days at the gym and clubs. He didn’t hide his sexuality but he learned to temper the sex to a more broad base, so throat stretching was never mentioned once. 

Julian eventually contacted his old editor. Surprisingly he was still working and more so, he took his call. After the some small talk, Sam his editor said he was going to Breadloaf to teach. “Why don’t you come as my guest before I read anything.” Julian was shocked and excited. Could lightning strike twice? Was he good enough? Did he deserve it? What if or of or if’s were crowding his head until he blurted  “yes, I’d love to come.” 

Julian arrived in Vermont and met with Sam at the hotel bar. Now older himself he was surprised to find Sam so much younger than he remembered. He was about 55, tall, salt and pepper hair and confidently hot. He also made it clear to Julian that he was gay. Not overtly saying it but talking about his “hood” in Chelsea Manhattan and his gym buddies Anderson Cooper an Andy Cohen. He said he couldn’t wait to adopt a child himself someday. Interesting Julian thought. He never looked at Sam this way before. 

Julian gave Sam his manuscript to read. They agreed not to discuss it until the conference was over. There were lectures and workshops, readings and critiques. Julian was back in the zone and met with Sam several times alone. As they discussed the days events in Sam’s suite, Sam paused, looked at Julian and kissed him tenderly. Sam immediately continued talking as Julian’s face heated up and reddened. Julian felt good. As the second bottle of wine went down, so did Sam and Julian, all night long. The next night and the last night. Was Sam a big guy? Did it matter? He was big enough. He was enough.

Julian looked at Sam and told him he never felt this way before. He was like a kid. He didn’t know what it meant but he did know his manuscript was not done. He promised to rework it and send it to him in NY soon. They parted with a promise to see each other in a month. 

Julian worked day and night on his book. When he wasn’t writing he was talking or FaceTimeing Sam everyday. Julian, satisfied, sent a copy of his book to Sam and made flight plans to NY for four days later but two day later Sam showed up in SF. Sam couldn’t believe how good the book was. He said all it needed was love. His earlier book, the same, it lacked experience in love.

Sam grabbed Jillian and said, “come to NY  with me. Let’s try this. What do we have to lose?” Julian looked around his sparse rental without love or attention ever given or taken from anyone here and agreed. They had nothing to lose. “I’m no sure I know what it means but I may be falling in love with you Sam and I’ve never said that to anyone before.” Sam smiled, overcome by emotion.

They left for the big apple two days later with their hit book tucked under Julian’s arm. Sam said he had high hopes for the book. Julian agreed but added the book and all that came from it, already exceeded his wildest dreams.