The Lovers in Rossford

Sex and love and sex

4

After dinner, Kenny noticed Radha continuously nudging Chad. He was glad no one did the same to him. The night was tense and strange. Sheridan looked unhappy and Kenny was curious as to why. Suddenly, Chad stood up and said, “Kenny, you wanna help with the dishes?”

“He sure does,” Milo said before Kenny could do anything, and so he shrugged and followed Chad into the kitchen.

Once the door swung shut, rolling up his sleeves, Chad said, “The bad thing about making up the excuse of doing the dishes is now we actually have to do the dishes.”

Kenny smiled and nodded, rounding Chad, and bent to take the dishwashing liquid out of the sink.

“I didn’t know if it was too early to call,” Kenny said. “I really enjoyed last night, and I didn’t want to be pushy or anything.”

“Me neither,” Chad said, taking the bottle and turning on the faucet to rinse the dishes. “I was just trying to do the same thing. Not be clingy. I don’t really do these things so well.”

Chad squirted detergent into the sink and added, “And I don’t even know what this thing is. I don’t exactly know what we’re doing.”

“I thought we were just having a good time,” Kenny said. “I’ve been with Brendan since high school. I never got the chance to have a good time.”

“I was with Bryant. A very intense relationship. Then his brother. Intense and wrong. No, I know what you mean,”

Chad put the plates into the sink. “I’ve never just… had an affair.”

“Is that what we’re doing?” Kenneth said.

“We don’t have to call it anything,” said Chad.

“Good, I’m alright with it being what it is. Are you?” Kenny asked him.

“Does what it is involve us going back to my place tonight?”

“Yours or mine,” Kenny shrugged, thinking of kissing him in the kitchen, but still hanging back.

Chad smiled. “Well, then I’m alright with it.”

“And what is this?” Todd said, looking at Fenn as he eagerly unwrapped the package.

“You’re about to find out.”

“Oh, this is nice, baby!”

“You needed a new Siddur. This is a Koren. It’s so much fun I might have to convert.”

Todd chuckled as he lifted the heavy little prayer book. He turned the pages from backward to forward. “I think you’re beyond conversion,” he told Fenn.

“I’m as Jewish as I’m going to be and as Christian as I ever was, and I’ve got Dylan reading the Bhagavad Gita. Open the last gift so we can go to bed.”

Todd leaned to the side to wrap his arm around Fenn. “Is there going to be another present when we get to bed?”

“I never thought I’d say some tired shit like this, but… not tonight because my head actually does hurt.”

“Oh,” said Todd. “Then I’ll just open this now. Oh, crap, Fenn!”

“A Koren Siddur and a Koren Bible. A King James just won’t do for you anymore,” Fenn said. “Now you get to have a Bible with all the funny names. No more Moses, only Moshe for you. A Bible chock full of Yehudas, Rivkahs and what the not.”

“I love you, you know that?”

“Well, I like you too,” Fenn said smoothly.

“Sometimes you’re terrible.”

“Todd,” Fenn kissed him, “after twenty years I think I’d even go as far as saying I love you too.”

Bryant nearly ran across the room when the new email came up.

He opened it and read: “This is the right address from Craigslist?”

Is that all he had to say? Bryant should have sent an IM.

“Yes,” he typed back.

He paced around the house, dizzy and tingly for a moment until the next one came up.

“You like to fuck or get fucked?”

Bryant typed quickly: “I wanna get fucked tonight.”

Then he typed, his dick getting harder, “I want to suck on a nice cock and get fucked real hard tonight.”

He sent the email off.

Since Nick had left, and he’d known how close he was to having sex with him, how close he was to having sex with anyone, he’d gone through the webpages and Craigslist, looking for suitable sex to wear off the need. Something deep in his asshole had ached to be touched. It had been so long, and he was tired of living like a hermit. A new email came up.

“I’m a truck driver. I’m in a truck at the Walmart parking lot in Miller. Is that alright?”

“You want me to get fucked in a truck cab?”

 A moment later the response came back.

“That’s kind of the way it has to be. I don’t mean to offend.”

Bryant typed back:

“Do you have condoms?”

He was going to write other things, but other things didn’t matter, and he was horny and dizzy and kept growing hard. There was an iron taste in his mouth. He was so close to what he’d wanted for such a long time. The email came back.

“Yes.”

Bryant had almost hoped he would write ‘no’, but there it was; a straightforward, but slightly tacky proposition for the sex he wanted. For a moment he thought about what it would look like if people knew. But who would know? Who was he being honorable for? Part of him was a little bit angry.

I always thought if I was good for long enough good things would happen.

Well, what was he bitching for? Good things were happening, just not all the good things he thought should happen. He was chair of his department with his own home and the chance for sex. He sat down to write another email. His heart was pounding hard in his chest, like before some of his very first sexual experiences. It had been so long he almost felt like a virgin again.

He wrote back:

“Fine. I’ll be there in about a half hour.”

Chay drove past his grandmother’s diner. He thought about stopping to see Naomi, or maybe Danasia, but it was late and he had some place to be.

The drive around the outskirts of town lasted a while before he went up the gravelly road and pulled up to the ramshackle house where Casey Williams ran his studio and lived his life. When Casey had first started, the studio was actually in the house, and some things were still shot there. But as he’d become more successful, he added the white building behind. Chay parked in front of the house, and with a yawn, climbed out of the car. He headed up the steps and as he opened the porch door, Logan came out of the front door.

He stood there, his mouth open, much taller and stronger than Chay would ever be and yet, awkward.

“Chay?” he began.

Chay took a set of keys from his pocket and placed them firmly enough in Logan’s palm for them to hurt.

“These belong to Sheridan. That’s his car out there. Tell him he can come and get it. Thanks.”

Chay moved past Logan and went into the house, heading for Casey’s office and not even willing to look behind him. Casey wasn’t in the office, and that meant he was upstairs. In one of the studio bedrooms, he was closing up the camera while a few assistants were cleaning, and his face lit up when he saw Chay.

“Are you staying?”

 “I better stay,” Chay said to the blond man with his hands shoved into his hoodie. “I just gave Sheridan’s keys to Logan on his way out.”

“Ouch,” Casey said, moving closer. He touched Chay’s hair. “You alright?”

“I’m as alright as I’m going be,” he said. And then he said, “No… I am alright! You shoot a movie here today?”

“Um hum.”

“With Logan?”

“Yes… it’s like,” Casey’s eyes danced with a touch of scorn, “his big hurrah before leaving porn.”

“Did you fuck him?” Casey looked at Chay.

“Not today I didn’t…” he said, a question mark at the end of his voice.

“I have no idea why I asked that.”

“Jealousy maybe?” Casey grinned.

“No,” Chay said. “I’m really not jealous at all. I think I asked maybe cause it would drive Sheridan crazy in the end to know that Logan was fucking you in movies.”

“I hardly take an active part in my stuff anymore,” Casey said. “It’s a job and, as you get older it becomes more of a job.”

Casey gestured for Chay to follow him out of the room. “C’mon. You hungry?”

“Now that you mention it, yes.”

“But back to the whole, it’s your job?”

“Yes?”

“What about boyfriends and stuff?”

They were at the top of the stairs, and as Casey trotted down a pace he said, facing backward, “I thought you used to be my boyfriend?”

“I guess,” Chay said. “But… What about now?”

“I don’t have them. Unless you mean you. And Keith. But that was before you.”

“And fun. Recreation?”

At the bottom of the stairs Casey grinned and cocked his head.

“What?” Chay said.

Casey pushed up his glasses.

“Are you trying to figure out when the last time I had sex was before you?”

“No…”

“As a recreational thing, actually about four months ago. And as a professional thing I did a movie. With Logan if you must know. And now you know everything.”

“I didn’t have to know everything,” Chay said, primly. He stood on the step so he was eye to eye on with Casey.

“That,” Casey said, “is a fucking lie. And unlike certain people I know when you’re lying and when you’re ticked off, and that’s why we belong together.”

He balanced himself over the steering wheel and closed his eyes, feeling the glass of the window against his lips as the trucker fucked him. Now, toward the end, it was quicker and quicker and Bryant grunted as the pretty, blond trucker pulled his hair back. Bryant groaned and came, momentarily shaken out of his body, trembling on the edge of existence as semen spilled out of him and, admiringly, the trucker said, “Nice. That’s nice man.”

From Bryant’s orgasm, the trucker gained inspiration and began fucking him harder and deeper, right here, at the very edge.

“Don’t come in me. Come out of me,” Bryant whispered. And then he felt the gentle soreness, the necessary throbbing deep in him where the trucker had been. The condom came off and the guy pulled at himself a little, and then there was that slick hotness, across Bryant’s back, on his spine, about to dribble to the cleft of his ass.

“You’ve got a really tight ass,” the guy said, admiringly running his hands over Bryant’s sides.

Bryant didn’t know what to say to the compliment, so he said what was sensible. His pants and underwear were in the passenger seat, but his shirt was pulled up around his chest.

“Do you have something I can clean up with?” “Yeah,” the young man said, still under Bryant. “What about this?”

 He handed Bryant an old flannel shirt. “Really?”

“I’ll wash it soon,” the man told him.

Bryant ran it over his back and groin, then climbed off of the man’s naked lap, his damp but still risen penis, and reached for his underwear and his trousers. Bryant wiped a little longer on his back before letting his shirt down.

They were silent for a minute and then Bryant said, “Well, I think I should go.”

“That was just what I needed, man.”

“Me too,” Bryant said, trying to sound as cordial as possible. He looked around for his coat, for his keys, for the pair of glasses he kept in a case in his coat.

“Good night, now,” he said.

And then he kissed him because the trucker suddenly looked like a very winded, very open little boy, and Bryant could see he was longing for something else.

“I’ll be here for a couple of days,” the boy told him. “Alright,” Bryant said and, carefully, climbed out of the cab. He needed to think about this. As he walked across the

Walmart parking lot to his car, he thought this needed to be processed, absorbed. He knew that as much has he loved his friends, this was something he would never tell anyone. When he had come out in his twenties, he assumed that he would have some wonderful gay life, the same life his other siblings had only not straight. He would have kids and a home, only he’d have a husband instead of a wife. Being gay was a minor wrench in his plans, and a very unimportant one. The world would be his oyster.

Instead, here he was, closer to fifty than forty, with the grey hairs to tell and, distinguished chair of the music department at Loretto College, he had just climbed into a truck and let a twenty something year old trucker with a GED fuck him against a steering wheel. That was as much of a love life as he was going to get.

After putting his key in the ignition, he pulled out of the space, and turning around for the road he muttered, “If I think about this too much, I’ll probably start to cry.”

They were both red faced and breathing heavily when they turned on their sides to face each other. The bed sheets were damp and Casey gave a laugh, as much to reduce the intensity of the moment as anything else before speaking.

“Now I know why you like me so well!”

Chay smiled at Casey, whose butter colored hair was sticking up a bit and he said, “No… That’s not the reason why.”

He took his index finger and his middle finger like a peace sign, and going toward Casey’s face, opened them so that one set down on both of his eyes.

“These are the reason why,” he said.

Casey opened his eyes as Chay withdrew his hand.

“The way you looked at me when I came back… That shine… No one ever had it for me. That’s why,” Chay said as Casey smiled at him. “That’s why.”