Back at practice, I stand close to Lorenzo. Coach calls us around the mat. “Alright, boys,” his eyes meet ours individually. “Today, we’re gonna keep pushing ourselves. Lots of work on the mat today.”
We drill techniques. Lorenzo is strong, level-headed. His movements are sharp and they reflect me, only more sure. We both end up on our backs a fair number of times, but each time our hands lock until we’re both back on our feet. Lorenzo flashes smiles, pats my head and ruffles my hair. The rest of practice flies by, and by the end of our session, I’m exhausted but exhilarated. Most of the boys head to the weight room, including Carter and Reuben. Lorenzo stretches nearby and I walk over to him.
“You held your ground today, good shit,” he smiles.
“Thanks. It’s easy to work with someone who knows what he’s doing so well.”
He laughs, catching my eyes passing his shoulder. He turns and sizes up Carter and Reuben.
“Those two are always chasing the next set, huh,” I try to keep the conversation going without making it awkward.
"Yeah, they're kinda in their own world."
"Really?"
Lorenzo turns to me. “Bullshit. I’m calling it. You know them. Everyone knows you know them– and that you were gonna be Carter’s. You know him, he recruited you."
“I don’t know," I drag out my words.
Lorenzo snorts softly, shaking his head, but there’s no judgement in it. “You do. If I do, you do. Bro, he was taunting his catch to literally everyone. You’re the stud, you’re the recruit that had Coach thinking he might have a championship set of guys.”
“Really?” I repeat myself.
“I mean, fuck, man. Dude I didn’t hear the end of it when I talked to him. Constantly– ‘you and this kid I’ve got my eyes on’ and ‘you’re gonna make this kid amazing’. He’s excited, but I bet Carter didn’t want you to know that.” Lorenzo’s impression of Coach makes me laugh.
We finally pick up the weights and begin trading sets. Lorenzo works effortlessly to my split, following my movements.
“You got one more in you,” he huffs. “Push it, Cameron.” He doesn’t mind making our workout a spectacle.
I push hard, my arms trembling as I take the weights to the top of the movement and back down. “You got one more– two more. Push.”
“Shit,” I exhale and stand, wiping the sweat from my brow.
Lorenzo daps me up as we finish our workout, and we walk back to the locker room together. I round the corner into the locker room and hear Carter call out from behind me.
“Yo, Cam!” He catches up to me once I get to my locker. “Good shit today, bud.”
“Thanks.” I keep it short with him. I don’t face him. My eyes do shift over to Reuben, though. He watches intently, trying to size me up now.
“Hey boys,” Lorenzo chimes in.
Reuben shifts, leaning into the locker next to him. “Didn’t expect you to stick around, Haase.” He’s chosen his target, so I'm safe, for now.
Lorenzo smiles, then immediately rebuts. “Ah,” his sigh turns into a laugh. “Right. The boy who got knocked out during conferences thinks the guy who made it to championship weekend wasn’t gonna stick around.”
Carter holds in his laugh, but mine spills freely.
“I was angry over some bitch. I’d beat you any day of the week.”
“You love saying that to wrestlers who weigh a lot less than you, don’t you?” Lorenzo tests.
“Alright, alright,” Carter interjects, putting himself between us and Reuben. “No need to make it personal Haase.”
“Yeah, Carter. Nothing personal about wrestling.” Lorenzo smiles and drapes his arm over my shoulder.
Reuben stands up straight and crosses his arms to make them seem as big as possible. “Some of us actually know how to handle a real fight.”
“Yeah?” Lorenzo steps up to Reuben, ignoring Carter. “Come on then, let’s go.”
Carter drops his towel and stalks Reuben with his eyes. Reuben clenches his jaw, but his eyes light up now that Lorenzo has taken his bait. Reuben lunges at Lorenzo, fist extending and ready to strike. Lorenzo easily steps out of his way, and Reuben’s weight betrays him. He struggles to stop himself on the wet floor, and within seconds Lorenzo is on Reuben’s back, fastening his arm around Reuben’s neck. Reuben’s massive body thrashes and bucks Lorenzo like he weighs nothing, but Lorenzo rides him tight, not letting Reuben get any leeway.
“Haase, chill, dammit,” Carter calls, but Lorenzo doesn’t relent.
“Thought you said you’d handle a fight,” Lorenzo taunts. “Maybe you should learn a lesson.”
Reuben’s movements slow, and his face reddens from the lack of air. He stops resisting for a moment, movements unsteady. Carter latches around Lorenzo’s torso and tears him off of Reuben’s back, pushing him into the concrete column behind us. Reuben stumbles, his breathing ragged while he reorients himself.
“Carter,” Lorenzo says coolly. “If you’re gonna keep playing peacekeeper, make sure he knows how to finish a fight first.”
“This is getting out of hand,” Carter snips. “We’re supposed to be a team.”
“You’re telling the wrong people here.” Lorenzo flicks his eyes to Reuben.
“You think you’re so tough?” Reuben interrupts, stepping into Lorenzo’s space.
“And you think you can intimidate me with your size?”
Reuben growls and launches a fist at Lorenzo. He dodges Reuben’s attempt, and counters into Reuben’s pec.
“Haase!” Carter steams, pushing Lorenzo back. “That’s fucking it.”
Carter tackles Lorenzo, and Reuben practically slips in his eagerness to take advantage of Lorenzo's prone body. Carter secures Lorenzo’s waist and Reuben drives his massive forearm into his neck. Lorenzo strains, and I try to jump into action. I wrap my arms around Reuben’s massive back, but he slings me off of him and I land awkwardly against the concrete column and fall hard, my face hitting the dirty tile floor and bouncing. I writhe on the ground, the concrete sharp against my already tender side that Reuben punished yesterday. The world spins and I try to help Lorenzo, but Carter shifts and within a second his massive body envelops me.
I watch helplessly while Reuben lifts Lorenzo off the ground by his neck. I wrap my legs around Carter’s waist and try to destabilize him, but his sweaty muscles are too slick for me to get any leverage. Carter drives his hips into me and secures me, his massive biceps pin my arms over my head, and his fuzzy pit pushes into my face.
“Get off me!” I shout, my voice muffled into his upper chest. The scent of his sweaty body bombards me. Carter’s hold tightens, his breath unsteady as he keeps me pinned. I twist and turn, but my muscles fail me. Panic rises in my chest while I hear Lorenzo struggling to breathe, waiting for any sign of something to be over. I catch a glimpse of Lorenzo loosening Reuben’s grip for just a moment before being slammed back into the lockers.
Suddenly, there’s another loud thud, and the room falls silent. I hear footsteps, just one pair. I look up at Reuben’s massive body over me. Carter doesn’t loosen his grip, almost like he’s savoring having me in his arms again. I can see the cold triumph in Reuben’s eyes, and I stop struggling.
“Carter, get off of me,” I choke.
His muscles flex together before loosening ever so slightly. Reuben walks back over to us. I frantically try to get out from under Carter to check on Lorenzo, he just holds me. He doesn’t hurt me, but his muscles constrict me.
“Let him up, Carter,” he growls. “I’m not done with him.”
Carter fastens my arms behind me and lifts me. I look over to Lorenzo. He’s breathing, arms moving slowly while his fingers map out the floor below him. Reuben takes me by the arms and lifts me to my feet, his hands secured in my armpits.
“Carter,” my voice trembles. “Help me, Carter.”
He steps back, can't look me in the eye, and Reuben grins. “You’ve fucked up,” Reuben sneers. “You’ve fucked up big time.”
I shiver, looking back at Lorenzo slowly come back to.
“You really gonna keep this up?” Lorenzo croaks, coughing hard. “In front of him?”
“Shut the fuck up,” Reuben snaps. “You don’t get to say shit.”
“You jumped me bro,” he smiles and wipes blood from his lip. “What? Are y’all a tag team now? Same mind, different body type deal?” Lorenzo spits blood onto the tile.
Reuben’s fist rockets flat into my cheek. Pain explodes through my body as my head snaps to the side. I fall back into Carter’s legs, then roll to the ground. Reuben’s chest heaves, knuckles twitching.
“That your idea of tough? Yeah?” Lorenzo defies Reuben. “Hitting someone who can’t hit back?”
“Load him up,” Reuben demands.
“What?” Carter looks down at me, eye's softening as he exits whatever mania plagued him.
“Get Cameron, let’s go. Say shit about this, and I’ll fucking end you, Haase.” Reuben stops on his heels. “Actually, we’ll be back for you, Haase.” Reuben drags him somewhere as Carter hoists me out, practically dragging me along the ground. Lorenzo begins to protest, hard, but he goes silent again shortly after. Outside, Carter lays me in the back seat while I’m too weak to move much. I call for Lorenzo from the back of Carter’s truck, but my voice is barely more than a whisper.
“Where the fuck are you taking me,” I groan, each word accompanied by a pain so unconscionable that I throw up in the car and pass out.
When I finally wake up, it’s like surfacing from the bottom of a lake. My body registers before my eyes do– my face begins to throb so hard it makes my stomach lurch, there’s a dull ache in my ribs from where I hit the floor. The air smells like rubber, sweat, blood, and puke. It takes effort for me to finally open my eyes, they flutter open and back closed a few times. The truck’s cabin is dark, only illuminated by a streetlamp just above me. I’m in the back, twisted halfway onto my side with my knees jammed up against the door. I try to roll over, but pain surges through my neck with enough intensity to thwart that idea.
The truck isn’t moving but it feels like my body is. The engine’s off, and it’s silent outside, too.
“He’s out cold. He hasn’t moved since you clocked him,” Carter talks casually.
“Doesn’t matter. If he gets bold enough to talk, it’s over.”
“It’s two versus one,” Carter insists.
“Haase.”
“Right,” Carter sighs.
“We’d be done, all of us.”
“They’re not gonna talk– too much at stake. Plus, we can control that.”
“You’re betting a lot on that.”
“You think I’d be helping you if I thought he would?
“Then we end it here,” Reuben suggests. “No loose ends."
There’s a long pause before Carter replies. “No.”
“You’re soft. Typical.”
“And you’re not thinking straight.”
“Bullshit.”
“Then what’s all this?” Carter raises his voice, but Reuben shushes him.
“We load him up, drop him somewhere quiet and nearby– in the woods, he comes to, he knows better than to open his mouth if he even remembers what happens. We find both of them, pretend to save them.”
“If you had control over your ego we wouldn’t have to do shit like this to save face.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
The truck door cracks open. Carter’s face appears above me, haloed in the truck’s dim dome light. He’s breathing heavily, his eyes scanning my body. His shirt’s damp with sweat, and it clings almost invisibly to his chest. I want to speak, but my tongue feels too big for my mouth.
“Lorenzo…” I sputter.
Carter blinks and slams the door. I try to sit up, but I can’t. The engine roars to life, and Carter doesn’t look at me once. We eventually pull in somewhere. Carter lifts me out of his truck, and I recognize his frat house immediately. I wince at the pressure on my body, but he doesn’t give me a choice other than to move my feet or tear my toes up on the concrete.
“Is it done?” an unfamiliar voice fills the room while Carter plops me down on a couch. I topple.
“For now, yes,” Carter replies. “We need to be extremely careful. I had to talk Reuben down so he wouldn't do anything else stupid."
“Goddamn it. What happened?”
Reuben’s voice cuts in before Carter can explain. “Nothing that we can’t fix.” He walks into the room and shuts the door gently behind him. “It’s under control.”
Reuben stands next to a boy about his height and similar in build, but he’s more rugged around the edges. “This can't get out to anyone," the boy assets."
“Lachlan, chill out. It won’t.” I feel the weight of a hand on my neck. “Isn’t that right?” Reuben asks.
I nod weakly, not wanting to consider anything else right now.
“Good,” Lachlan says. “Keep it quiet.”
“Motion to adjourn,” Lachlan declares.
“Aye,” everyone else repeats deeply.
Carter lifts me and takes me up to his bed. He tucks me in and leaves. He returns some time later with a glass of water. He hands it to me and I chug desperately. My head hits the pillow and I crash.
I wake up with a splitting headache. I squeeze my temples in my hands while the soft morning sunlight bombards my eyes. I try to sit up, but my body protests.
Carter walks in and sits on the bed next to me.
“Hey,” he mumbles, his voice soft. “How are you feeling?”
“The fuck happened?”
“You got way to smashed and you got fucked up.”
“What? Where’s Lorenzo?”
“He’s fine, he also got fucked up.”
“What? Carter–” I cough. “Carter, what?”
“Here’s something for the pain.” He hands me a pill and watches me closely.
“What is it?”
“Motrin. Higher dose, more potent.”
Carter plants a kiss on my forehead and smiles. He walks out. I crash, hard.
I wake because my head was hurting so much my body couldn’t handle it. I hear footsteps timed at the door like they were expecting me. Carter and another man walk in, familiar, but I can’t place his name.
“Hey, Cam,” Carter coos. He walks over to me and sits on the bed.
“Are you feeling any better?” the jock asks, crossing his arms and leaning against the doorframe. Strictly business.
“Fine. Who are you?”
“Lachlan.” He smiles, and Carter looks back at him. Carter and Lachlan acknowledge each other with a short nod. Carter turns back to me.
“You got your ass kicked,” Carter breaks the silence, leaning closer to me.
“What?”
“I don’t know what happened, but– I found you so out of it. Drunk– something– I don’t know. Gone. You seem okay, though, but you need rest.”
“What happened?” I look down at my body. It’s sore, but nothing unusual yet.
“I don’t know, but we’re working to figure it out.”
Lachlan nods in approval.
“What?”
Carter brushes a strand of hair from my forehead and sets it back into place. I get lost in his green eyes for a moment, watching them move across my face. “You’ll be okay.” He takes my hand. “I promise you, Cameron. I’m here.”
His words feel too soft, but I nod, and Carter nods back. He walks out and closes the door gently behind him. The second the door clicks, I stand and slink over to the door, putting my ear against it to listen for his footsteps. I open the door slowly and slip out, hands holding the handle so it doesn’t click when I close it again. I go down the opposite direction, my toes sticking ever so slightly to the cold hardwood. I file down the back stairwell and into a part of the house I hadn’t been in before. I come to a series of rooms at the back of the house. One has bookshelves across the back wall and a large desk in the center with papers scattered across it. I wrap my fingers around the door as faint voices emerge from inside. Lachlan sits with his feet up on the desk, and Reuben sits next to him. They’re talking too quietly for me to hear. I pull away for just a moment, stepping away from the wall to cross the hallway. A floorboard creaks ever so slightly, and I hear the chairs shift in the room.
I have to cover my mouth to stop myself from choking on the air as it thickens around me. Footsteps approach the door and I creep into the next room in the hallway, pushing my body into the corner as the door swings open. Heavy footsteps push lightly down the hallway.
“Right,” Lachlan huffs, his lips curling into a smile. His eyes sting my entire existence and I can only wish I were a thousand times smaller. Lachlan grabs my arm and pulls me out of the room.
“Well, well, well,” Reuben laughs. “Hey, Cameron,” he spits.
Lachlan pushes me down to my knees. Reuben smiles and pulls a chair up behind me. “Thanks.” He puts his feet on my shoulders, they both chuckle. My face burns.
“Anyway,” Lachlan clears his throat. “Back to our meeting.”
“Sure,” Reuben flexes his toes.
“Rush week is already on track, and Carter’s got all the events planned out. Monday’s cookout, good for getting our first guys interested, weed out weak men, establish the strong ones. Tuesday’s poker, no play-in, but plenty of alcohol. Wednesday, we’re going to the pool. Carter got it rented out for the night, and we’re gonna have as much shit as we can get. Beers in cans. Can’t have anyone getting sliced like last year. This is when we see who can hang with us, which boys are strong enough, competitive enough.” He grins smugly.
“Yeah,” Reuben adds, his tone casual but heavy. “Get them drunk enough to be competitive. Make sure they carry themselves well with their shirts off.” Reuben rubs his foot against my cheek. “Ain’t that right, pretty boy?”
Lachlan’s eyes flick towards me and he laughs from his throat. “Thursday, we’ll show them the campus house, make sure they know where they’ll be sleeping– bonding. Get them more comfortable and pull them away from considering other frats. And, Friday, this house. The real deal. We’ll show them what they’re working for, the privilege of being an established member in the frat. We’ll go over who we are even more, and our expectations for them”
Reuben chuckles, toes curling again. “Good. We’ll have them under our feet by the end of it.”
Lachlan laughs louder than he should.
“Are we gonna stick with a quota this year?” Reuben asks.
“Nah, no quota. Quality. We need studs.”
Lachlan flips through a thick stack of paper on the desk. “We just gotta make sure everyone’s on board, but it shouldn’t be a problem.”
Reuben leans back in his chair and stretches his legs, pressing his hands over his head. “I trust Carter’s choices.”
The door swings open suddenly, and Carter walks in, his expression cool but serious. A few other guys trickle in and sit in chairs around the room. Lachlan looks up, a slight grin appearing as he gives a short nod to each of the boys.
“Speaking of the devil,” Lachlan says, his voice dripping with amusement.
Carter raises an eyebrow, unfazed by my presence under Reuben’s feet. He leans against the desk and stares at me. “Yeah? What’s up?”
Lachlan looks back at him, giving him a lazy shrug. “We’re just doing recruiting logistics.”
Carter taps on his head, “It’s all up here.”
Lachlan drags a pen across one of the sheets in front of him. “Can’t have any cracks in the foundation.” He points at me with his pen.
“He’s not even a part of the frat,” Reuben nips.
“Think he’s gonna be a crack?” Carter sets his jaw. All eyes are on me.
“Dunno yet.” Lachlan scribbles again. “He’s been sneaking around, and that’s not a good look.”
“Well, he’s an invited guest,” Carter’s voice hardens slightly.
“Sure,” Lachlan taps his pen on the table. "He's been making good use of that invitation."
“And he doesn’t report to you," Carter sneers.
“But you’re not keeping him leashed tight enough,” Reuben raises his voice slightly.
Lachlan chuckles. “Maybe he’s trying to earn his spot early.”
“I know a few ways he can earn it,” Reuben shoots back quickly, moving one of his feet to the back of my head.
Everyone in the room laughs except for Carter. “He’s not a recruit.”
“Well... that makes this awkward,” Reuben looks around. “Because he sure looks like one.”
The room falls flat for a moment, Carter neglecting to speak again.
“Don’t get shy on us,” Lachlan taunts. “You brought him into this. You let him into your bed– more than once. Thought he was fair game.”
“He’s not.”
Reuben tilts his head. “Last time I checked you pushed him to leave.”
“Thought this was about logistics,” an unfamiliar voice interjects from the back. It’s got a cool rasp and slight southern drawl to it.
“We’re just getting a read on the guest, Mason,” Reuben chirps, tapping his foot against my head before finally planting them on the floor.
Mason’s eyes sweep across the room. “Looks less like a meeting and more like y’all got bored and decided to dogpile poor hoss.”
Reuben clicks his tongue. “Just making sure Carter’s little stray knows his place.”
“I didn’t realize hazing applied to guests now,” Mason replies. “Might should reread our bylaws.”
“Those wouldn’t be hard to change,” Reuben insists.
Lachlan stands and approaches me. Carter hesitates and plants a foot next to me, blocking Lachlan’s immediate access.
“Move,” Lachlan demands.
Carter clenches his jaw, but ultimately sidesteps and Lachlan stares me down.
“Stand.”
I stand, my skin buzzing.
“Take off your shirt.” He pushes a finger into my chest. “Aaand–” he ponders, “shorts too.”
I peel the fabric over my head with shaky hands.
“You wanna sneak around my house?” Lachlan’s voice falls just above a whisper. “Eavesdrop like a rat, get acquainted with each corner, maybe? Then you clean like one.”
He turns and points to the beer cans by his desk. I glance at Carter, but he knows he can’t do anything.
“On your knees. You’re gonna pick up every single one with your teeth. And if they ain’t empty, it’s going in your stomach before it’s going in the trash.” He smiles proudly, crossing his arms as I sink down to the floor. “I’m sure you know where at least one trash can is.”
I nod. I don’t.
“From now on,” Lachlan says, holding Carter’s eyes hostage, “he answers to me.” Lachlan slides back behind his desk and begins flipping through papers.
“So,” Lachlan folds his hands. “Friday walkthroughs, party– we need the house spotless. No trash or clutter. I know who’s gonna help us with that. You guys have your letters. Wear them.”
A few low chuckles rumble through the room. Mason shifts in his seat, clearly annoyed. “You done turning this into a circus?”
Reuben grins and tosses a crumpled beer can at my feet. “Better hurry up, pretty boy. You’re falling behind.”
“Next order of business,” Lachlan continues, ignoring Mason and Reuben. “We’ll split up so that we have guys across campus for the first week. We need as much outreach as possible, but as chill as possible.”
“Carter, Reuben. You’re gonna be on the quads. Show off your bodies, show off your faces. We have a few other poster boys who will do our advertising for us. Make sure you’re getting yourselves toned.”
“Jaeger, rec center– Ram’s Head, mainly– any gym. That’s your realm”
Jaeger smirks, lazy and confident. He leans back into his chair and stretches his arms above his head and groans quietly, his biceps bulging as he locks his hands together. His shirt rides up just enough to show the deep lines of his abs.
I stop with a beer can still in my lips, staring at him for a bit longer than I should. His face is ruggedly smooth, but he’s striking. His jaw is square, cheekbones sharp. His clean eyebrows furrow ever so slightly, and his pink lips twitch in the corner. His hazel, downturned eyes flick towards me, my heart jostles. He pays me a slight smile, and I drop the can from my lips. He points his nose up into the air slightly. It’s sharp, just like the rest of him, his perfection broken or enhanced by its slight crookedness– like it’s taken a hit or two. I stare at him for a few more seconds before returning to my task at the direction of Lachlan tapping his foot on my calf.
“You’re our presence everywhere. The classroom, outside– dress like you usually do.”
Jaeger cracks his neck and finally speaks. “Not a problem.”
“Perfect.” Lachlan makes note of something and then flips the page. “Leif, make sure the boys don’t get drunk enough to cause problems. If they do, solve them. I want you to stick by Jaeger, but you got that down.”
The boy next to Jaeger nods. He’s got light reddish-blond curly hair trimmed into a mullet. A scattering of freckles cling to his nose and on the ridges of his cheeks, just like Lorenzo. His presence complements Jaeger’s. It’s less carved– more classical. More athletic and refined rather than built for intimidation. Leif is far more open and unassuming, eyes wide and more expressive. His skin is radiant like Jaeger’s but they catch the warm light completely differently. Where Jaeger absorbs, Leif reflects, his light blue eyes and highlighted cheeks speak for him. Leif smiles at Jaeger, and Jaeger seems pleased by Lachlan’s words in his own way.
“You boys are my one-two punch. Jaeger draws the eyes. Keep them distracted, interested,” Lachlan finishes.
Leif gives a flat two-fingered salute and leans back into his chair again.
“I don’t really have much else for you boys. If anything changes, I’ll let you know. If any of y’all want to chime in, now’s your time. If nothing else, I adjourn.”
Leif crosses an ankle over his knee, the laces of his shoes frayed and browned with mud like he’s never cared to tie them well. Jaeger doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t need to. The way his eyes settle signal his approval. I look up from all fours like a dog. I’ve almost cleared the pile of cans to the trash can on the other side of Lachlan’s desk.
Lachlan closes his folder with a decisive snap. “Alright, boys. Don’t make me regret trusting any of you.”
Chairs scrape across the floor. The meeting’s over, but no one is quick to leave except for Carter. He dips out of the room, and Reuben follows him like normal. Jaeger stays seated, his eyes running along my form. He stands, and the room shrinks down to accommodate his energy. He adjusts his sleeves with his gaze catching mine.
“Finish up,” Lachlan nudges.
I use my hands for the last few cans and stand slowly, going to retrieve my clothes from the corner. The rest of the boys file out, but Jaeger’s curiosity keeps him in the room for a little bit longer.
“No, no. Keep them off,” he needles.
I pause with my shirt halfway up my arms. My skin flushes red, but my body’s already uncomfortable from being on my hands and knees for so long. Lachlan doesn’t say anything. He glances once between us then walks out, the door clicks shut behind him. I slowly drop my shirt back into the pile. Jaeger’s lips curl into something that isn’t quite a smile, but it’s different from how his lips rest. He walks past me, not close, but enough to make the hair on the back of my neck stand. He drags a lazy, long finger along the edge of Lachlan’s desk and then turns to lean back on it, arms crossed.
“You listen well,” he says finally.
I don’t answer, but I don’t look away.
He tilts his head, the light catching the bone in his nose. “You’ll do fine here. Carter really loves to insist you’re not gonna get involved, but I like to think you’re further in than you or he realizes.”
Jaeger pushes off the desk. He looks me up and down. There’s no second-guessing in his movement. I straighten, instinct tightening the muscle in my chest and shoulders. His body slots into mine with quiet authority, chest brushing against mine. He’s taller than Carter, so he dwarves me.
One of his hands finds the desk, locking me in on three sides. His other hand hovers for a moment before finding its place on my hip. I look up at him, his deep eyes reading across my face. His thumb presses into my side, rubbing firmly. He tilts his head lower, lips brushing by my cheek. “I know how to make a boy jealous.”
His hand on my hip tightens, guiding me backward until my lower back presses flush against the desk. His chest stays against mine, the heat of his body anchors me here. His other hand leaves the desk and slides up my abs, his fingers feeling each valley until they stop atop my sternum. “Carter should have known better,” he whispers. “You don’t leave someone like you lying around.”
He leans in, his eyes softening and eventually closing. He kisses me. Not soft, not sweet, just like he’s claiming me and trying to entrance me with the feeling of his impossibly soft skin. His lips part against mine, and the kiss deepens. It consumes me while he pulls my body tight against his. His hand slides up to the side of my neck, fingers spreading against my jaw. His tongue tastes of malt liquor. He kisses me like he’s branding me with it, like he wants Carter to taste him on me. He runs his hands down my abs until it rests just above my waistband.
“This– this is mine.”
He pulls away from me slowly, and the room grows again. My mind clouds, and I take a moment to consider his challenge, how I should go about this. The sun has retired now, and I should probably retire, too. I stay in Lachlan’s office and begin combing over some of the papers he has. I take a breath, but it feels too sharp, like the room itself is holding me hostage until I explore every one of its secrets. I drop a set of papers against Lachlan’s desk. Dust rises off of them and I begin to comb through them. I glance at the door, and slide over quietly to twist the lock.
I pull documents at random, some are news articles about the frat’s achievements, and a few scandals. I read handwritten documents, some ornate and some scribbled and dotted with stains of liquid. Rumors that swirled in hushed tones, either about parties that went too far, a pledge who went missing more than fifty years ago, and articles about hazing. My eyes scan over the documents, scribbled in ritual and practices that either have been continued or removed because they got into hot water with the university. The stories seem poorly kept, hidden under stories and tradition that cement privilege and power– the men who rewrote who they were because they had the most to gain from it.
Lachlan has a fair share of writing about him, both his own and from people who mentored him. His big, unnamed in his writing, describes how he knew that Lachlan would become the next president the moment he stepped into his sight. Lachlan now had to embody the essence of what the frat is, and should be. Charismatic, attractive, masculine, ruthlessness for anyone who doesn’t meet those standards.
I flip through another folder of type about Carter. I find a few letters from his Big, his involvement in the frat seeming simpler but more deeply rooted than Lachlan’s. He wasn’t just there because he’s in a frat, it was his legacy. I trace my finger along rows of names, following Carter van der Breek to the name of his brothers, dad, grandfather, and on. He seemed less interested in the power struggles than the control, often letting himself fall around other people. He hides his insecurity well.
Reuben’s name was mentioned and indexed right next to Carter’s. He’s new, not mentioned much other than that. He’s one of those men who has his foot in both worlds, wildly immature but able to compensate through cockiness. He knows how to play things too well, though. I begin reorganizing and placing each document carefully on the shelves. My head snaps up as I put away the last folder.
“Why’s this locked?” Jaeger’s voice slips through, casual but unmistakably curious.
I freeze, fingers leaving the spine of a folder quickly.
“You weren’t exactly subtle, but it’s not my problem.” His voice is thick with amusement. “Are you gonna let me in, or will I have to find the one person who has a key?”
I step to the door and unlock it. It swings open, and he steps inside.
“You look guilty,” his eyes shift to the shelves and back to me, “which makes me think you found something good.”
“What did Lachlan leave lying around?” He asks, voice dipping lower while he leans into me. “The missing pledge? The old rituals? The list of who got in and why?” He flashes his teeth. “You look like a slut snooping in just your underwear.”
I bristle, but I don’t flinch. “You kissed me.”
“Yeah, but you’re still here playing detective with your ass hanging out and you expect I’m not gonna do anything about it.” He steps in. “Did you find anything worth my time, or were you just here hoping to get caught?”
“I found names,” I exhale. “And patterns. I don’t remember much and I’m sure that’s nothing, but– it’s enough.”
Jaeger walks behind me and leans over his shoulder. “Not really, no. But you, standing here. All flushed because you got caught touching something you shouldn’t. Just makes me want to tell you to touch something you should.”
I step just out of reach of him. “I’m not buying everything that I’ve seen here. There’s gotta be so much more shit.”
Jaeger hums. “And here I thought you were just pretty.” He puts his hand on Lachlan’s desk beside me. “But this isn’t any of your business. And I will protect my frat over sex appeal any day.”
“You act like I haven’t already made this my business,” I defend.
“So you admit… that you’re a part of the frat even if Carter maintains you won’t get involved.”
“It wasn’t something that I wanted.”
“But now you’re in it.” Jaeger pulls a cart out of his pocket and takes a hit. He blows the vapor into my face. “Look all you want, you’ll find plenty, but there’s more you won’t put together. Be careful, now, boy. You’re standing in a place where secrets are currency and one wrong question will cost you everything.” He looks around the walls of folders and leather bound books with the frat’s letters on them. “I admire you, whatever your name is, I do. I like your guts, but you can’t just walk where you want.”
The sweet smell of his vape curls around my nose. Jaeger studies me for a moment. He taps his cart against the desk before slipping it back into his pocket. He doesn’t move, just watches me with that tilted head and half-lidded stare like he’s trying to decide what to do with me.
“You ever wonder why no one tells anyone we have a basement?”
I blink. “Huh?”
Jaeger smirks. “Don’t go looking for it, because you’ll find it, and then it won’t matter what you thought this place was.”
“Can you take me there?”
Jaeger’s smirk spills into a laugh. “No,” dragging the word out like it’s obvious. “You don’t get to ask your way into that sorta trouble, you gotta earn it.” He pushes off the desk and circles me slowly, feet crossing each other and keeping his body facing mine. “You’re too curious for your own good.” He loops himself around the room. “Careful, detective. You start pulling too many threads, eventually... something snaps.”
