The Founding Fathers and the Love that Guided Them

The year is sometime between 1774 and 1908 or something like that. War against the Sith rages on but there is also stuff going on in America. Here it is.

A Few Sticks of Heinomite

It was a muggy, moist day at the Inn. The stench of independence wafted through the halls as the four men poured another flagon of Beamish. Alexander, Hamilton and George sat in an uncomfortable silence as Benjamin Franklin, yet again, ranted on about how a mere slap of his double bass could wet maidens for miles.

Benjamin was suddenly interrupted, much to the pleasure of the other founding fathers, with the sweet sounds of bongo Steve, who some of you might know formerly as Legolas. Eons had passed since Legolas fled the woods of Lorien to play fat bassy bongos in the west, where he was truly appreciated by mankind.

"Who's playing that sweet, bassy sound? Who's throbbling is that?" Benjamin sighed, taking off his spectacles in envious wonder.

Both Alexander and Hamilton chime in (simultaneously).

"Why that is Legolas, the sweetest bongo player in the Great American West!"

Legolas' elf ears perk up at this proclamation and he peers towards the founding fathers (who have yet to found anything at all).

"Why I haven't heard that name in a long year. The name's Bongo Steve now, haven't you heard, dear boys?"

Alexander and Hamilton blush, peeking down toward the cock that joins them. Benjamin is not so timid and slams his flagon on the table, sprinkling George with flecks of foam.

"Boys? We are fully-grown, fully-haired and fully-boned men! Why I have deflowered many a maiden! Not to mention a few dogs and horses too!"

The boys share an uncomfortable silence before George manages to break it.

"I think what my friend has to say, Bongo Steve, is that we are men of valour speaking of the future of our country. Not mere boys as you suggest. Why don't you join us for a drink and see for yourself?"

Legolas as Bongo Steve admired George's ability to take control of the room and asks the pretty bartender for a stick of heinamite. He then takes a glance at Alexander & Hamilton, then looks back at the barmaid, and says "And a rose for the missus" and winks.

The boys, no longer ashamed from Bens previous outburst, look up gleefully for a taste of sweet, sweet nectar.

"So tell me… "Men"… you talk much about independence, and revolution, which are all fine ideals, however, we all know the Sith are advancing, how can you simply ignore this!"

"Oh" Alexander & Hamilton state "I think you are in the wrong fan fiction bro"

"Hmm" Bongo Steve contemplated "Well I Never really liked the idea of having to deal with Count Doku of the Sith anyway, so I'm on board with whatever bullshit you guys wanna do, oh you sons of bitches, I'm in."

The men laugh gleefully and begin planning their next move. The sweet sound of Bongo Steve's bongos echo throughout the planes of the Wild American West and catch the keen ear of one John Marston, who was sprawled on his Perfect Proghorn Hide just outside of Valentine.

John Marston wasn't always a cowboy. It wasn't too long ago that he was visited by a strange modern man in a blue box who taught him much about living on the land, the world and bongos. Ever since, he has been following the path of the bongos, tending to both cows and boys along the way, as cowboys do, where it seemed to lead him East, towards the great town of Saint Denis.

This night, the sound was particularly delicious and he pressed Y and hopped on his steed.

"Giddyup, Yoshi, we've got a long ride ahead of us."

Yoshi Marston wasn't always a horse… but that's a story for another time"

FIN CHAPTER 1