Willem jerked awake to the sound of his phone buzzing noisily on his nightstand. He picked it up, squinting at the screen as he pressed the snooze button. He tossed it back down and rolled over, grabbing a pillow and putting it over his head to block out the light. His head was pounding and he felt a suffocating sensation in his chest, almost like a fist had grabbed his heart and was now trying to pull him down through his bed.
He went through three more of these tortured snooze cycles, refusing to get out of bed despite his body screaming at him to get up. What good had being awake ever done for him?
Suddenly there was a knock at the door.
“Willem? We need to leave in ten. Are you almost ready?”
Willem pulled the pillow off of his head. Fuck. It was already Tuesday.
He climbed out of bed, lumbering over to his dresser to pull on clothes. His hands automatically went for the speedo when he caught himself. It wasn’t that kind of day. He had a doctor’s appointment to go to with his mother. Dick hunting would have to wait.
As they drove to the doctor’s office, Willem leaned his head against the window, trying to ignore his crippling headache. He hadn’t seen Jake since Friday night. He hadn’t noticed until they had stopped fucking, but his arrangement with Jake had actually been working to keep the buzzing somewhat at bay. One guy a day just wasn’t cutting it anymore.
The one thing he had to be thankful for was the fact that he was almost certain to break the curse before his college orientation that weekend. He had spent so long obsessing over his goal to be straight by college. Now it was so close he could almost taste it.
“Are you all right, Willem? You look like death,” said his mother as they entered the doctor’s office.
“It’s just a headache,” he mumbled.
He rubbed his eyes. “Just two more guys,” he thought to himself. “Then this nightmare will be over.”
“Hi, my son has an appointment with Dr. Edwards for 11 am,” his mother said to the woman at the front desk.
“Here’s the paperwork for new patients,” said the woman as she handed Willem a clipboard. “You can have a seat and they’ll call your name momentarily.”
They sat in the corner as Willem started filling out the paperwork. He chewed the pen, struggling to focus his mind on the words on the page.
“What’s my social security number?” he asked his mother.
“Willem, you really need to have all this memorized,” she said as she took the clipboard from him and began filling it out for him. “You’re going to have to start doing this stuff on your own now that you’re an adult.”
“Okay,” he said absently. His mind had already started to wander as he debated whether or not he’d have time to stop by The Abbey later to find the 99th guy.
She looked at him over her reading glasses. “Are you excited for orientation?”
“I guess...”
“You’ll get to meet your new roommate. That’ll be fun.”
Willem shrugged.
“Do you think you’ll join any clubs?”
“I don’t know, mom.”
Willem could feel his body vibrating so strongly that he was starting to feel nauseous. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to steady himself.
“Well, what about your friends? Are any of them-”
“Mom, I don’t know!” he snapped. “I don’t know what my major’s gonna be, I don’t know what clubs I’m gonna join, I don’t know if any of my friends are gonna be there. Stop asking me so many questions, because I don’t have any answers for you.”
Willem turned away from her, rubbing his temples.
She set the clipboard down and put her hand on his arm. “Hey, look at me, sweetheart.”
Willem groaned. He knew this tone in his mother’s voice. It always meant she was going to start talking to him about her feelings. He wished she’d just yell at him.
She brushed his hair back. “Are you okay?”
He sighed. “I’m sorry I snapped. It’s just a headache, I’m fine.”
She pursed her lips. “You say that. You always say that. And normally I believe you, because I never have a reason not to. Your grades have always been good, you’ve never been in any serious trouble… but honey, I’m worried about you.”
“You don’t need to worry about me. I’m fine-”
“Stop telling me that everything’s fine, Willem!” she exclaimed.
Willem looked around the waiting room, his cheeks turning pink from embarrassment.
“I know that something is going on with you. You’re never home during the day, you come home late at night-”
“I’m just hanging out with my friends.”
She gave him a no-nonsense look. “I haven’t seen Josh or the twins at all this summer. They used to come around the house all the time, and now nothing. So where are you really going, Willem?” She gripped her purse nervously. “You know that drug addiction runs in our family-”
“I’m not on drugs, mom,” he said, rolling his eyes.
“Then what are you doing?”
“I’m just… hanging out with new friends.”
She stared at him, as though weighing the truth of his words. Willem avoided her gaze.
“I saw you. A few weeks ago.”
Willem’s heart skipped a beat. “What? Where?”
“I was getting my nails done at that place by the Grove. I walked by and I saw you sitting outside at this coffee shop. You were with a boy, someone I’ve never seen before. I was going to come over and say hi, but… I don’t know. Something stopped me.”
She gave him a half-smile. “I just watched you for a minute. He was telling you a story, I think. I’m not sure, I wasn’t close enough to hear. But I just watched you listening to him. Something about it… the way you smiled at him...“
She brushed her hair back. “Well, I didn’t want to intrude.”
Willem’s cheeks were burning red. He forced himself to look at her. “I’m sure that wasn’t anything. You should have said hi.”
“Willem,” she said nervously. “I want to ask you something.”
“Mom-”
She grabbed his hand. “And I want you to know that you can be honest with me. You know that I’ll love you no matter what.”
Willem’s heart was pounding in his chest. He needed to stop this, now.
“Mom, it’s not what you’re thinking. Trust me, there’s nothing going on with me. I’m just nervous about going off to college, that’s all.”
She sighed. “I know that your father can be… a little harsh, at times. I’ll be honest, it was kind of a turn-on when we were dating. He was such a brute of a man, so passionate and robust...”
Willem grimaced. His mother gathered herself.
“What I’m saying is, I know that you might not think it, but he’ll come around. I will make him fall in line, I promise you.”
She took a deep breath. “Honey-”
“Willem Van Riessen?”
Willem’s eyes shot up at the nurse standing in the doorway. Thank fucking God.
“Yeah, that’s me!” he said, leaping out of his chair.
“Do you want me to come with you?” asked his mother.
He shook his head. “I’ll be fine.”
She handed him the clipboard. “Here you go, sweetie. Remember to tell him you’re allergic to tetracycline.”
Willem followed the nurse to one of the patient rooms in the back, where she directed him to sit on the examination table.
“I’m just gonna get a few readings, then the doctor will be in to see you in a few minutes. You’re just here for a routine physical?” she asked as she took his blood pressure.
“It’s for college,” he said, his mind elsewhere.
“Ah, gotcha. You excited?”
Willem forced a smile. “Yep.”
“College was the best time of my life,” said the nurse. “Fresh start, endless possibility....”
She smiled as she unwrapped the blood pressure cuff from his arm. “Enjoy it.”
After she finished taking his vitals, she left Willem alone in the room.
He put his head in his hands. Fuck, what was he going to say to his mother? He thought he’d gotten off with a clean slate, and now his mom thought that he was gay. Thank God she hadn’t seen anything more than just him and Jake getting coffee. He could deny things easily enough. Still, this was a whole conversation he definitely did not need right now.
There was a knock at the door. It slowly opened to reveal a man in his mid-50s wearing a lab coat. Willem’s eyes instantly glommed onto his barrel chest and steel-grey hair.
“Willem? I’m Dr. Edwards. Nice to meet you.”
He walked over and reached out his hand. As their palms touched, Willem could feel a burst of static electricity shoot up his arm.
The doctor yanked his hand back. “Whoa, sorry about that,” he said, grinning as he rubbed his hand on his lab coat.
Willem watched as the doctor’s lab coat began to slowly shift color, almost as if he’d accidentally washed it with one red sock. Within seconds the doctor was radiating the same pink glow that Willem had seen 98 times before. The pounding in Willem’s head began to lessen as his mind started that blessed journey up into the clouds.
A dreamy smile spread across Willem’s face as the doctor took a seat.
“So, your mother’s in the waiting room today?” asked the doctor.
Willem frowned. Why was he talking about his mom? Talk about a boner killer.
“Yeah, I’m just getting a physical,” he said, swinging his legs as he sat on the edge of the table. “Do you want me to take off my clothes, or…?”
The doctor laughed. “No need,” he said. “Your vitals are all normal and you’re up to date with all your immunizations, so I’m just going to ask you a few questions. Do you drink?”
Willem shrugged. “I mean, occasionally, but not in a while.”
“How about smoking? Cigarettes, marijuana?”
“Never cigarettes. I, uh, used to smoke pot a lot. But I haven’t done that too much lately, either.”
The doctor smiled. “On the straight and narrow?”
Willem drew his lower lip between his teeth. “Something like that.”
The doctor wrote down a few things on his clipboard. “And are you sexually active?”
“Just a little bit,” Willem said coyly.
“Men, women? Both?”
“Men. Definitely men.”
The doctor nodded. “And do you use protection?”
Willem made a gagging sound. “Ugh, never. It just feels so much better without. Don’t you think?”
Dr. Edwards’ face started to turn as pink as the glow that surrounded him. “Uh, how many partners would you say you’ve had in the last three months?”
“98,” Willem said cheerfully.
Dr. Edwards dropped his pen. Willem smiled sweetly at him as he bent over to pick it up.
“When you have sex with men, are you insertive, receptive, or both?” the doctor asked, his face still flush.
Willem screwed up his face. “Huh?”
The doctor set down his clipboard. “Are you a top or a bottom?”
“Oh…” Willem giggled. “I’m a bottom.”
“Do you ever notice any pain afterward? Any bleeding, anything like that?”
Willem shook his head. “Sometimes I can get a little sore, I guess. Some of the guys I’ve fucked have been really big. I mean… like, SO big, Dr. Edwards. And part of me is like, ugh, what a chore, you know? Give me something I can work with. But the other part of me is like, yes, just fucking pound me, daddy! You know what I mean?”
Dr. Edwards stared at him, his mouth agape.
Willem’s eyes went wide. He clutched his chest. “Oh no… you don’t think I did any damage, do you? I guess with all this sex I’m having I didn’t even think about what it might do to my hole. God, I’m such a stupid slut.”
The doctor’s eyes darted down to Willem’s ass. He cleared his throat. “There’s nothing wrong with sex. It’s perfectly normal for a young man your age. I’m sure everything’s fine. The human body is very resilient.”
Willem pouted. “Now you’ve got me worried, doctor. What if all those big dicks did something to my hole? It’s so small and tight, sometimes I don’t even know how they fit.”
Dr. Edwards swallowed. “If you’re really worried I could, uh, take a look at it for you. Put your mind at ease.”
Willem beamed. “Would you, doctor? Thank you so much!”
Willem hopped off the examination table and ripped off his shirt.
“You didn’t need to remove your shirt…” the doctor said as Willem unbuttoned his pants.
“Whoops!” giggled Willem as he slowly lowered his pants over his bubble butt, revealing his black mesh jockstrap.
“Would you spread your legs for me, son?” asked the doctor as he got behind him.
Willem moaned as he felt the doctor’s hand on his leg. He spread his legs and leaned against the table. Dr. Edwards put his hand on Willem’s left cheek, spreading it open with his thumb to reveal his smooth hole. Willem could hear a sharp intake of breath.
“Does it look okay, Dr. Edwards?” he said.
The man coughed. “Would you bend forward a little bit for me?”
Willem leaned over further onto his stomach, pushing his butt out at the doctor.
The doctor got down on one knee, putting his hands on Willem’s ass cheeks and spreading them apart.
“Everything… oh, fuck… everything looks fine from the outside.”
“It’s the inside I’m worried about,” said Willem, his eyebrows creased with worry. “Some of the guys who fuck me… well, they’re really long. They go super far into me. Maybe you could look a little deeper?”
The doctor was silent for a moment. Willem turned and gave him his most innocent smile.
“I can do a bit more of a thorough exam,” said the doctor. “Just let me grab some lubricant.”
Willem grinned as he heard the doctor rustling around in a drawer. He let out a high-pitched moan as he suddenly felt cold jelly on his hole.
“I’m sorry, doctor. I’m not used to the cold. I usually just use spit.”
The doctor stifled a groan. “It’s alright, son.” He took his finger and rubbed the lubricant around Willem’s hole, making the boy moan again.
“Mmmmm… oh, I’m sorry, that’s just so nice,” said Willem.
The doctor said nothing as he slid his finger deeper inside of Willem’s hole. Willem grabbed the paper on the examination table, crinkling it as he moaned.
“I’m not feeling anything,” the doctor said, his voice catching in his throat.
“Oh, I think it’s deeper, Dr. Edwards,” said Willem as he pushed his ass back against the doctor’s finger.
“Fuck,” said the doctor quietly as the rest of his finger was swallowed by Willem’s hole.
“Do you feel anything now? Maybe you should wiggle it around,” said Willem.
He moaned again as he felt the doctor wiggling his finger inside him, brushing past his prostate.
“Everything feels good,” said the doctor, his voice shaking.
“How about now?” said Willem.
“Oh fuck… you’re squeezing my finger with your hole,” said the doctor.
“Does that feel good?” asked Willem. “I can squeeze it even harder. I’ve had a lot of practice.”
The doctor groaned as he felt Willem’s hole squeezing his finger like a vice. He pulled it out and stood up.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be doing this. This isn’t professional,” he said.
Willem giggled. “I can see the tent in your pants. No one has to know.”
The doctor quickly covered his erection. Willem slipped off his jockstrap and hopped up on the examination table.
“Come on. I know you wanna fuck me.”
The doctor stared at Willem, laid out on the table with his legs spread. His eyes gleamed as he loosened his tie.
Willem moaned in delight as the doctor grabbed his legs, pulling him to the edge of the examining table. He watched as the man unzipped his pants, unfurling a thick cock with a fat pink head. He rubbed it up against Willem’s hole.
“You like this, you little slut?” he asked.
“Oh, yes,” Willem whimpered. “Please put it in me.”
The doctor slowly slid his cock inside of Willem, his fat cock head sliding easily past Willem’s sphincter thanks to the lube. Willem lay back against the table, his legs still in the air as he felt the doctor’s cock make its way deeper inside him.
“98 men… Jesus. You can’t get enough, can you?” grunted the doctor as he heaved into Willem. “You spread your legs for any man who wants it. Fucking whore.”
Willem could barely comprehend the doctor’s words, as his cheesecloth brain was currently overwhelmed by the pleasure coming from his hole. He could feel the doctor slowly withdrawing his cock, leaving just the head still inside of Willem.
“Put it back,” he whined. He suddenly yelped as the man slammed his dick all the way into Willem’s tight hole in one hard thrust.
“That big enough for you?” asked the doctor, smirking as he long-dicked the boy.
“Oh YES…” moaned Willem as the doctor thrust his full length in and out of his warm, wet hole.
He could feel the doctor’s tie dangling on his chest, tickling him as they fucked. He reached up and grabbed it, pulling the doctor down to kiss him. The doctor let go of Willem’s legs and stuck his tongue in the blond surfer boy’s mouth, moaning as he pumped his dick in and out of Willem’s ass.
“Fuck, you feel so good,” moaned the doctor. “Your hole is so tight…”
“Ungh… Oh God, FUCK me, daddy…” Willem cried out.
Dr. Edwards put his hand over Willem’s mouth, stifling the boy’s loud moans as he plowed his ass.
“Shhh, boy,” he whispered into Willem’s ear. “We don’t want anyone else to know what we’re up to.”
Willem’s eyes rolled into the back of his head as the doctor stuck his tongue in his ear. The feeling of the doctor’s tongue drove him wild as the room filled with the sound of their stifled moans and grunts. His own cock was rock hard, digging into the doctor’s stomach as the man grunted on top of him.
Willem could feel his cock being nicely stimulated as it rubbed in between their stomachs. His eyelids fluttered as he felt the doctor start to hit just the right spot inside him. He could feel electric currents rippling through his body as his small cock began to shoot miniature streams of sticky white liquid up across his stomach, soaking his chest in rivulets of cum.
“Argh… your ass is choking my dick…” groaned the doctor.
His eyes were closed, his face screwed up tightly as Willem’s ass milked the cum from him. He let out a few ragged grunts as he fired off inside of Willem, completing his anal exam with flying colors.
Dr. Edwards collapsed against Willem’s chest. The boy stared at the ceiling light, a dizzy smile stretched across his face as he felt the man’s cock jump inside him several times. This was the moment he enjoyed so much, the highest point of it all when there was nothing in the world but him and a thick, hard cock right where it belonged.
He closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of a man lying on top of him. As his addled brain began to float down from the clouds, he found himself drifting through a memory. A dim lightbulb hanging from a ceiling fan, casting moving shadows on the wall. The way Jake had felt on top of him, his hardness buried deep inside him. The feeling of Jake’s chest slowly moving as he breathed in and out. The smell of his sex. The look in his eyes just before he pulled out, saying everything and nothing at the same time.
Dr. Edwards finally pulled out after a minute, taking a deep breath as he stuffed his softening cock back into his pants.
“Everything seems in order down there. I would like to see you back here in a couple of months for a follow-up, though.”
Willem sat up slowly as his mind and the insatiable emptiness returned to him all at once. He watched the doctor zip up and stride over to the door.
“You can make the follow-up appointment with the receptionist,” said Dr. Edwards. He smirked at Willem before walking out.
Willem blanched as he started to realize the situation he’d just gotten himself into. He put his head in his hands and groaned. Why on earth did he have to fuck his primary care physician? So much for a clean slate.
He cleaned himself off and quickly got dressed. He headed back into the waiting room to find his mother reading her Kindle.
“How did it go, honey?” she asked sweetly.
“I’m all clear,” he said with fake cheer, trying not to think about the slow trickle of cum seeping out of him.
“Great. Maybe we could stop for lunch on the way home?”
She stared at him expectantly. His stomach lurched. There was no way in hell he was continuing THAT conversation with her.
“This headache is killing me. I kinda want to just go home and take a nap.”
She sighed. “Okay, honey. Let’s get you home.”
Willem spent the rest of the day in his room scrolling through Grindr and reading over the schedule for orientation. Orientation was only three days away, which was plenty of time for Willem to fuck the last guy and break the curse. He looked through the pamphlet, reading over the list of different clubs and student groups on campus.
What would he do once this was all over? It felt like he’d spent so long trying to break the curse he hadn’t even thought about what his life would actually look like. Would he know anybody at college?
Luckily neither Josh nor the twins were going to UCLA, so he wouldn’t have to worry about them spreading rumors about him on campus. Still, he lamented the loss of his friendships. They had been his best friends for years, only to drop him the second they thought he might be gay. And now Jake…
He would be going into college completely alone.
The next morning, Willem was up bright and early and trawling the beach for cock per usual. He lurked around outside the public bathroom at the beach in Santa Monica, kept his eyes trained on all of the surfers and joggers roaming past, and laid out in the sun in his speedo for all the world to see. But despite his efforts, there wasn’t a pink glow in sight.
He headed to The Abbey for lunch, taking a seat at his usual table and hunting for dick. His eyes scanned the crowd as his sandwich sat on the table, uneaten. No luck there either. Finally he caught the bus, riding back and forth throughout the city while scrolling through Grindr. He even splurged to get the paid subscription, expanding his search to the greater Los Angeles area. He scrolled through the endless sea of profiles until his eyes began to blur. Nothing.
Eventually it got so late that the buses stopped running. Willem returned to his car and drove home in defeat, the buzzing causing his headache to return in full force. This was the first day that he’d gone without cock in weeks. He broke out his trusty dildo for the first time in a while, fucking himself late into the night to alleviate the itching in his hole. Tomorrow was a new day, he told himself.
Tomorrow was not, in fact, a new day. Willem spent the day just as fruitlessly as the one before, searching the city for the 100th man and finding no one. As it got closer and closer to sundown, Willem started to panic. He was due at UCLA first thing in the morning—what would he do if he didn’t find a man before then? With his luck, the 100th guy would be his new college roommate or the dean or something. Willem could only imagine the humiliation if he was forced to fuck someone he would be spending the next four years of his life with. He needed to break the curse before his entire college career was ruined.
By the time Willem got home that night, he was practically crawling the walls with lust. He secluded himself in his room and fucked himself again and again with the dildo, but it made no difference. He needed relief. He needed a real cock inside him, NOW. He clutched his pillow and curled up in his bed, trying desperately to fall asleep so he could at least achieve some sort of temporary relief in dreamland.
But it was no use. The buzzing was devouring him from the inside out, eating away at his brain and making it impossible for him to think about anything but dick. For all his submission to the curse, after all the men that he had fucked... he was still just as powerless as he’d ever been.
____________________
Jake sat on the couch watching his seventh episode of Golden Girls in a row when he heard a sudden flurry of knocking at the door. He got up from the couch, yawning as he walked slowly over to the door. He looked at his phone to see that it was almost 11 pm. With his shitty neighborhood, he wouldn’t be surprised if it was some tweaker who had the wrong apartment.
“Jesus, I’m coming,” he said in annoyance as the knocking continued incessantly. He looked warily through the eye hole in the door to see Willem standing on his doorstep.
“Jake? I know you’re in there. Please open the door.”
Jake rubbed his face, sighing.
“What do you want, Willem?”
“I just want to talk… that’s it, I swear.”
“Whatever you wanna talk about, you can say from there.”
“Just let me in,” Willem whined. “I need you so badly… I’m going fucking crazy!”
Jake groaned. He leaned his forehead against the door.
“I meant what I said to you, Willem. I don’t want to do this anymore.”
“I hear you, and I totally get that. 100%, for sure. But I need to get fucked RIGHT NOW or else my asshole is going to fall off. So open this goddamn door and stick your dick in me before I lose my FUCKING mind!”
Jake rolled his eyes. “If you need to get fucked so badly, why don’t you just call up one of the other 100 guys? Surely any dick would do the job.”
Jake heard a pounding noise as Willem smacked the door.
“Why are you being this way?” whined Willem. “You’re such a frigid bitch. You think your cock is so great… well, I’ve seen better! And thicker too. My uncle had a dick like a python. It made your cock look like a baby carrot!”
Jake made a face. “You fucked your uncle?” he said quizzically.
Willem was silent for a moment. Jake put his ear to the door.
“...Willem?”
“I’m sorry I said that about your cock,” Willem said quietly. “It’s so big. It’s the biggest! Please just open the door. I’ll make you feel so good, you know I can. I’ll ride you, I’ll deepthroat you… I’ll do that thing with my tongue that you like. Just open the door!”
Jake sighed. He unlocked the door and thrust it open.
“Willem, you need to get the fuck out of here, or else I’m gonna call the cops.”
Willem’s eyes lit up as soon he saw Jake. His mouth opened in a wide grin, his eyes crinkling as he laughed hysterically.
Jake raised an eyebrow. “What the hell’s up with you?”
Willem threw his arms around Jake, hugging the tall boy tightly in his arms. Jake stood there awkwardly. He reached for Willem’s arms and tried to pry them from around his waist.
“All right, that’s enough.”
Willem looked up at him, tears of joy streaming down his face. The pink light surrounding Jake was like a beacon in the dark, lighting up the few shreds of Willem’s mind that were still left intact. Jake stared at him with a confused look on his face, looking to Willem like an angel of the Lord.
“Jake… you’re the 100th guy!” laughed Willem.
Jake’s face went pale.
“This is perfect! All we have to do is fuck and I’ll be free from all of this. It’ll be over!”
Willem dropped to his knees in front of Jake, his hands reaching for Jake’s fly.
Jake grabbed his hands. “Stop.”
Willem stared up at him in confusion. “What are you talking about? You have to fuck me.”
“No, I don’t.”
“Yes, you do. You’re pink, dummy,” Willem giggled. “That means you’re the 100th top. You have to fuck me, that’s how it works.”
Jake let go of Willem’s hands and took a step away from him.
“I can’t fuck you, Willem.”
Willem laughed in disbelief. “Of course you can. Come on, just take off your pants and put it in my butt-”
He reached for Jake again when Jake slapped his hands away.
“Stop it!” he yelled.
Willem recoiled from him, the shock knocking him out of his stupor.
“I’m not going to fuck you, so just get the hell out of here,” Jake said angrily.
Willem raised his hands in an effort to calm him. “Jake,” he said soberly. “I know that you don’t want to have sex with me anymore. I get that. You’ll never see me again after this, I promise. But you have to do this for me. I need to get my life back.”
Jake shook his head. “Don’t put that on me.”
“It is on you, Jake! Whether you like it or not.” He grabbed Jake’s hand. “Hey. Look at me.”
Jake looked at him pleadingly. “I can’t do it, Willem.”
“Yes, you can!” said Willem, exasperated. “You can because you have to. Do you want me to go crazy? You know what will happen to me. My ass will keep growing, probably forever. I’ll lose what little of my mind I have left… I’ll never be straight again!”
Jake looked down. A look of recognition dawned across Willem’s face.
“Oh my God. That’s it, isn’t it? You don’t want me to be straight again, do you?”
Jake said nothing.
“Do you want me to stay cursed?” asked Willem accusatorily.
“No, of course not!” said Jake.
“Then you have to fuck me-”
“I don’t want you to stay cursed,” said Jake. “But I don’t want you to be straight again, either.”
He took a deep, trembling breath, forcing his eyes up to meet Willem’s.
“I want you to be with me.”
Willem felt like he got the wind knocked out of him. His head was swimming, but in a way that had nothing to do with the curse. He stared at Jake, dumbfounded.
“Where is this coming from? What is… why are you saying this?”
“Are you really so blind, Willem?” asked Jake. “I lied to you. I told you that I could separate sex from emotion. But the truth is… I’ve had feelings for you since the first time we were together. No matter how much I tried to shove them away, or tell myself that you were a bad person, or that I deserved better… I couldn’t help it. Every time you came to my door smelling like another man, I would tell myself, ‘This is it. I’m done.’ But then you would kiss me, and I would just fall in even deeper. Even after the other night, after watching what all those men did to you… I can’t change the way I feel about you.”
He grabbed Willem’s hand, staring into his eyes.
“I love you, Willem.”
Willem looked down, shaking his head slowly. “You don’t love me, Jake.”
“Yes I do!” exclaimed Jake. He got down on his knees in front of Willem, still holding his hand as he looked up at him. “And I know that you love me too. I can see it. I could feel it. When I was inside you, and I looked into your eyes… I could tell that you felt it too. You weren’t gone, you weren’t somewhere else. You were there with me. You say that you can separate sex and emotion, and maybe you can with those other guys. But I know that you couldn’t with me. I know that you felt something.”
Willem closed his eyes and let out a deep breath.
“Tell me I’m wrong,” said Jake.
“Okay, fine!” shouted Willem. “You’re right. I felt something. I still do. But it’s not love.”
Jake screwed up his face in confusion.
“You don’t love me, Jake. Not really. Because this isn’t the real me. The me that you’ve fallen in love with, the me that feels these things for you… it’s the curse. It isn’t real.”
Jake stood up, shaking his head. “I don’t believe that. I know you, Willem. You might think that all that’s left of you is the curse, but I don’t. I can see you, the parts of you that are still there.”
He put his hand on Willem’s cheek, rubbing it with his thumb.
“Those moments when you’re really you… that’s what I’ve fallen in love with. You’re funny. You’re smarter than you admit. You actually care about other people when your head’s not stuck up your own ass. You just need to stop being so damn afraid all the time.”
Willem lowered Jake’s hand from his face. “I’m sorry, Jake. But this isn’t who I am. This isn’t my life.”
“Well, why can’t it be?” asked Jake desperately. “We could have a life together. I know… I know I’m in this shitty apartment, and I’m just going to community college. But I have plans for my life. I’m going to Caltech, I’m gonna have a career… I’m gonna make a name for myself. I’m gonna be somebody, somebody you can be proud to be with.”
He grabbed Willem’s hand, leaning in close to him. “I know you’re scared,” he said softly. “About what your parents will think. And Josh, and the others. But I’ll be there with you, every step of the way. You won’t have to go through it alone.”
Willem put his hand on Jake’s chest, pushing him softly away.
“Jake… you don’t understand. This curse is going to end, whether I like it or not. I mean, think about it! Even if I say, ‘Sure, let’s do it. Let’s be together.’ Then what? The second we have sex, I’m not going to be gay anymore.”
Jake frowned, scratching his head.
“I’m sorry, but there’s no way around it,” Willem said slowly. “We have to break the curse.”
“We could… we could go to Bussy,” Jake said, his eyes lighting up. “We could ask her to use her magic. She could keep you from going back.”
Willem shook his head. “No. I don’t want that.”
“Why not?” Jake groaned in exasperation.
Willem’s eyes glistened with tears. “Because… I don’t want to be gay,” he confessed.
The look of devastation on Jake’s face pierced right through Willem’s heart. Jake sat down numbly on the couch.
“I don’t, Jake. I’m sorry… but that’s not the life I want for myself.”
He sat down next to Jake on the couch. “You have plans for your life. So do I. I want a family, I want to have a wife… fuck, I might even want to have kids someday. That’s the future that I want for myself. And I can’t have any of that if I’m cursed.”
“You don’t know that,” Jake said quietly.
“Yes, I do,” said Willem. “You were right, Jake. I don’t care about any of the men that I had sex with. None of them. I don’t think I care about anything anymore. All I can think about is sex, and that scares me. I don’t like this person that I’m becoming. You wouldn’t want to be with me like that anyway.”
He reached out and touched Jake’s cheek. “But the real me, the straight me… he has a chance at a real life. He can be a good person. This curse was supposed to make me a better person. I’m trying to do that, Jake. But I need my free will back if I have any hope of that coming true.”
Jake grabbed Willem’s hand, holding it against his cheek as his face crumpled.
“I don’t want to lose you,” Jake said softly.
Willem shook his head firmly. “You won’t lose me, Jake. I’ll still be here. Even if I’m straight, I’m still going to want to hang out with you. We can be friends, real friends. It’ll be better than it was before—I’ll be better. I won’t ever hurt you again. I can be the friend that you deserve.”
Jake let go of Willem’s hand and stood up, wiping his nose.
“I’m sorry, Willem. But I don’t want that.”
Willem stared at Jake in confusion. Jake shrugged.
“It’s not enough for me. Being your friend, knowing I can never have you. I can’t be around you if I can’t be with you. It’s too painful.”
Willem’s face fell. “But-”
“What am I supposed to do? Be your best man? Stand up there at the altar with you while I watch you marry some other girl? I couldn’t do that to myself.” He turned away from him and stared at the wall. “You’re gonna be straight again, and I’m still gonna be here, stuck with these feelings that I don’t know what to do with.”
Willem walked slowly over to Jake and put his hand on his shoulder.
“Jake… please. I need my life back. If you really love me... you’ll do this for me.”
Jake turned to look at Willem. He could see the pleading look in the boy’s eyes.
He shook his head.
“I’m sorry, Willem. Please… just go.”
“Jake-”
“Please.”
Willem could feel the buzzing shaking his body through to his core, consuming his mind again and urging him to throw himself at Jake. But he knew it was pointless. Jake had made up his mind, and nothing he could say or do was going to change that.
He turned and walked out of Jake’s apartment. He got back in his car, his head throbbing so badly he thought it was going to split open. He did his best to concentrate on the road as he drove home, despite the vibration tearing him apart from the inside out and the tears streaming down his face.
Willem snuck up the stairs to his room and climbed gingerly into his bed, trying his best to ignore the incessant buzzing that had consumed his mind and body over the last several months. He closed his eyes, falling in and out of restless sleep as his body shivered and sweat with fever. His mind felt like a beehive, with a million little angry bees buzzing and stinging him from the inside.
He retreated into the depths of his mind, searching for the secret hiding place he’d long since forgotten about. As he opened the door and looked up at the shelves, he could see the dusty glass globes of his memories, long forgotten. He picked up one of the globes off of the shelves, dusting it off as he relived his memory.
He could see a girl laying underneath him, her naked body pale and smooth as she smiled up at him. He couldn’t remember her name, or where they were. He strained to remember the softness of her skin underneath him, her wetness as he opened her up, the taste of her tongue on his mouth. The memory was so dim it was almost like it was gone entirely. It flickered in his mind, evading him like something hovering just out of his sight.
The buzzing rippled throughout his body, causing him to lurch violently in his bed. He rolled over, grabbing the pillow and holding it tightly as he started to cry. He wasn’t sure how much more of this he could take. Was he doing the wrong thing? Should he just do what Jake said, go to Bussy and give up his free will forever?
He couldn’t do that to himself. No matter how much pain he was in, he couldn’t give up.
But he knew he wouldn’t have his free will for long either way. The last time he had tried to resist, the curse had taken over his body, forcing him to follow as it guided him to the next man. He couldn’t let that happen again. He knew he’d put Jake through enough. After everything that had happened, the curse had at least taught him one thing—he had done this to himself. Whatever happened was only what he deserved.
He crawled out of bed, limping over to his dresser. He leaned up against it, using all of his weight to shove it towards his door. He was weak from the curse, but he used every ounce of free will left in his system to maneuver the dresser in front of the door. He sat down with his back against it, panting from the effort. At least now he wouldn’t be able to get out. The curse couldn’t hurt Jake again. He closed his eyes, his head slumping down into his chest as the buzzing overwhelmed him.
A sudden noise caused Willem’s eyes to snap open. Had he heard something? He couldn’t tell how much time had passed or whether or not he’d been awake, asleep, or somewhere in between.
There it was again. A tapping sound coming from outside. He climbed laboriously to his feet and limped over to the window. He slowly opened it, his eyes growing wide.
“Jake?”
Jake climbed wordlessly into Willem’s room. Willem shivered from the cold night air, a shock against his feverish skin.
“What are you-”
Jake cut off his words with a kiss. He grabbed Willem’s shoulders, pushing him back towards the bed. Willem allowed Jake to take charge, falling back onto his bed as the taller boy climbed on top of him. He reached his hands up and held the back of Jake’s head, kissing him softly as Jake shrugged off his jacket.
Jake broke the kiss, grabbing Willem’s shirt and pulling it over his head. Willem laid back on the bed as Jake pulled off his underwear, leaving him fully naked. Jake stared down at Willem, his eyes traveling all over Willem’s body as if to memorize it one final time. Willem could feel the buzzing inside him urging him to hurry up, but he bit down on his tongue to stifle it.
Jake ran his hands across Willem’s legs, slowly spreading them apart. Willem leaned his head against his pillow as he felt Jake take his cock into his mouth. He moaned at the feeling of Jake’s lips running across his shaft, his fingers gently squeezing Willem’s balls. Suddenly he felt Jake raise his legs, lifting his hips slightly off the bed. He whimpered as he felt Jake’s tongue run across his hole, gently eating him out. His body began to relax as he gave himself over to Jake’s touch. He was there with Jake, he was truly present. Even the buzzing had started to recede into the background as his fever broke and the pounding in his head dissipated.
Jake pulled his mouth off of Willem’s hole, then stood up and pulled off his shirt. Willem watched with silent wonder as he took off the rest of his clothes. God, Jake was so beautiful. Willem wondered how he would remember him after the curse was over. Would he be able to remember the way he felt in this moment? Or would he see it differently in hindsight?
Jake climbed back on top of Willem. He grabbed his cock, leaning it down towards Willem’s hole.
Willem put his hand on Jake’s chest. “Wait,” he said.
He pushed Jake back and kissed his neck, his fingers gripping the boy’s wavy brown hair. His lips traveled down Jake’s chest towards his nipples. He stuck out his tongue, swirling it around Jake’s left nipple as he squeezed his chest with his hand. Jake moaned, closing his eyes as he succumbed to the pleasure that Willem was giving him.
Willem kissed down Jake’s torso and down towards his pubic hair. He stuck his nose in it and breathed deeply, savoring Jake’s scent as he slid his hand around Jake’s cock. He looked up at Jake as he took the head of his cock into his mouth. Jake took a deep breath as Willem slid the rest of his dick into his mouth, letting it settle deep in his throat. Willem moved his head slowly up and down, softly blowing Jake as his hand ran across Jake’s torso.
Jake reached down and grabbed Willem’s hand, squeezing it tightly as Willem blew him. He closed his eyes as he felt Willem’s mouth around his dick, wishing beyond belief that he could bottle this feeling forever.
After a few minutes, Jake knew he was getting close. He sat up and pulled Willem up off his cock, leaning down to kiss him. Willem’s thumb brushed Jake’s nipple. Jake’s hand softly rubbed Willem’s ass. They kissed long and hard, their tongues gently exploring each other’s mouths as they prolonged the inevitable. Finally they broke the kiss, leaning their foreheads together as they breathed heavily.
Willem nodded.
Jake leaned him back against the pillow, his hand reaching down to grab his cock and position it once more at Willem’s hole. They looked into each other’s eyes as Jake pushed slowly inside of Willem. Willem gasped as he felt Jake’s cock breach the entrance to his hole, sending ripples of pleasure across his skin.
The buzzing was back, sending his mind slowly up into the clouds the deeper Jake slid inside of him. Willem bit his tongue hard again, determined to stay with Jake as long as he could. It worked, as he could feel his mind starting to settle as Jake bottomed out inside of him.
Willem ran his hands across Jake’s smooth back, feeling the boy’s wiry musculature as Jake began to move in and out of him. Jake pressed his chest closely against Willem’s as he fucked him, his head buried in the crook of Willem’s neck.
Willem closed his eyes, giving himself over one final time to the boy who first took his anal virginity. He could hear Jake’s breathing getting ragged. He felt Jake slow down. He smiled. He knew Jake was trying to make it last as long as he could. He was glad for it.
He turned his head to the side and kissed Jake softly on the cheek. Jake turned to look at him. Willem brushed the tears off of Jake’s cheeks, then leaned in and kissed him. Jake kissed him back deeply, then slowly started to move inside him once more. They moaned into each other’s mouths as Jake picked up the pace, pendulating his hips as both of their breathing grew shallow.
Jake started to moan louder and louder. Willem reached his hands down and pressed them against Jake’s ass, squeezing them as the boy thrust in and out of him. It was too much for either of them to bear. Jake cried out as he came, his cock pulsing several times inside of Willem. Willem could feel his own cock shooting in between them, covering their stomachs with his sticky seed. He stared at the ceiling, the shadows cast by the moonlight etching themselves into his memory.
They held each other tightly as both of them were dead to the world for several seconds. Jake’s breathing began to slow as he came down from his orgasm. He laid against Willem’s chest, neither of them moving for a moment.
Finally he lifted his head to look at Willem. Willem looked back at him, a look of confusion crossing his face.
“Are you…” Jake asked
“I don’t know,” said Willem.
Jake pulled out of Willem and sat back on his feet. “Am I still pink?” he asked.
Willem looked up at Jake. He could see the pink aura flickering around Jake, crackling like a campfire. Jake’s freckles were lit up brilliantly, peppered across his pale skin like ashes in the snow. Willem watched in a strange combination of hope and fear as the light snapped and crackled, slowly reducing to a simmer before extinguishing entirely.
He shook his head in disappointment. “No,” he said softly.
Suddenly an unseen force thrust Willem back into the bed. His eyes were wide open, dilated and cloudy like they’d been the night of the ill-fated dinner. Jake watched in fear as Willem’s body began to glow bright pink, so bright that it was almost blinding. He raised his hand to cover his eyes as he stood up off the bed, backing away from Willem.
Willem’s body slowly rose off of the bed, hovering naked a few feet in midair. Jake stared in shock as his glowing body began to vibrate. He watched as Willem’s ass began to slowly shrink, deflating like a balloon. Willem’s cock began to lengthen slightly, still soft but returning to its normal size.
After a few more seconds, the glow slowly began to fade from around Willem’s body. Willem was lowered gently down onto the bed, coming to a rest with his head against the pillow. His eyes were closed, his head tilted to the side as the light faded away entirely.
Jake approached him hesitantly. “Willem?”
He could see the boy breathing in slowly. He looked to be in a deep sleep. Jake stared at Willem’s naked body in the moonlight, trying once more to capture in his mind the tan skin and gentle features of the boy he’d come to love.
After a couple of minutes that felt like hours, he grabbed the covers and pulled them over the naked boy. He leaned in and kissed Willem softly on the cheek, leaving his lips there for just a moment.
Jake slowly got dressed, then walked over to the window, pulling it up to let the cold night air in. He stood there for a moment, staring out at the darkness of the city.
He took one last look at Willem asleep on the bed. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the crumpled piece of paper that was now wrinkled beyond belief. He walked back over to Willem and gently slid the paper underneath his pillow. He stared down at Willem’s sleeping face one final time, then climbed out of the window and into the night.
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