Self-Reflection
Caleb had barely slept. Only certain it was morning due to the amber glow that was framing the curtains. His mind began to wander to unfamiliar places as he began to come down from the high of last night’s events. The clarity had not fully returned. The shame and embarrassment of what he had just allowed to happen, it excited him. What would his friends at college think? They are generally pretty open minded, but he had never portrayed himself in a way that would suggest this is what he was. Wait. What was he? He had openly gay, bi, and transgender friends in his circle, although none that he was particularly close with. Even if he was perfectly honest with himself, he had never even considered another man in that way. In any way.
‘Have I ever thought about a man like this?’ he asked himself. It was as if the self-reflection was a prompt. He immediately found himself picturing Julian. Undressing before the swim. Climbing out of the lake. Holding him in the shower. Standing, leering over him, with the towel draped over his shoulder. His member, impressively swaying, definitely bigger than anything he had seen in person. And it was soft! Caleb felt himself swallow uncomfortably, realising that saliva had started to build up in his mouth. The swelling, anticipatory pressure from yesterday returned. He allowed his hand to wander.
‘Nope, never before.’ He reassured himself as his clarity was drowned out by the images. His imagination taking him back to the shower. Back to his place in front of the older man. In his mind, he pictures himself reaching round. Blindly fondling the older man’s balls.
Soaping up and down the shaft, encouraging the blood to flow. He imagined Julian pressing his body closer. Feeling the heat from him. Feeling the heat from it. For the first time ever, Caleb’s fingers traced underneath his balls, applying pressure to his taint. With one hand, he freed himself from his boxers. He began simultaneously working his left, weaker hand, up and down his modest member. Now standing to his full mast, five inches of distraction gave way to his right hand. The pressure applied to the base of his shaft, moving along the taint, tickling as he went. One finger slowly circles his virgin hole.
Almost instinctively, the same fingers come immediately to his mouth as he sniffs and licks them. He places the index and middle finger all the way to the back of his throat. He gags a little before pulling them out, completely covered in saliva, before returning them to his sacred place.
The index finger slips in. Quickly followed by its partner. The distraction has lost its attraction, standing erect of its own volition. All focus is on attempting to find the elusive magic spot he has heard classmates discussing.
As he finds the prostate, a steady stream of pre-cum oozes from his tip. This was unlike he had ever experience. It was not the same intense feeling of ejaculating, but it was incredibly stimulating and new to him. His left hand grabs his testicles, hard. His fingers jackhammering in and out. The pressure continues to build until…….release.
As his heartbeat returns to a steady pace, he tightens his grip on his balls. He slips another finger in. The ‘post-nut clarity’ he normally felt after indulging himself was absent.
“Good boy,” A deep, familiar voice almost whispers to him, “I’ll help you clean up in the shower.”
