Ten Step Procedure to Being an Outstanding Top

Lesson 1:

You got that right, cum rod. I'm every he-man's aggressive bottom whore and every top fucks me the way I command - with every manly gut in his body. You fuck like a woman when you're too careful and hesitant. You fuck like a klutz when you hurry. Take it slow at first. Slide it up a guy's butthole. Ease it up into his body all the way to the base of your rod. That way, you feel every inch of the bottom boy's inner walls hugging your stiff muscle, and the bottom feels every inch of your penis sliding into the most private crevices of his bod. That is the real definition of a screw. Keep your cock in him. Probe his insides with your dick. Nice and slow. And then build up momentum. Remember, build up. Don't just suddenly pound. Build. Add a thrust here and there as a teaser, as an indication of the rape to come. This is all an instinctual thing. You and your slut boy shouldn't even think of all this. When the two of you have developed a rhythm... WHAM!

Lesson 2:

If you're to shoot in a guy's ass, do it with easy thrusts with your cock inside as far as it can go. You'll be filling the guy's secret parts, all the way up into his second sphincter. Don't pull out at once. Keep fucking the dog using your cum as lube.

Lesson 3:

Spit on a guy's face. Spit in his mouth. While you're spitting in him and on him, and blasting the fluids out of your nuts inside him and all over him, alternate between looking into his eyes and shutting your eyes. When you look into a guy's eyes, that means you're into being with him. When you close it why climaxing, that means he's just another hole. As much as you dig him, he's just a way for you to release your juicy hormones. You'll get the message across that you know he's had lots of cock up his fuck hole before you ever plowed it and that you know he'll have so much more. You'll also relay the message that you've had lots of holes before his and will have so much more. And you really don't give a damn. This is the ultimate in trash.

Lesson 4:

When your butt slut begs for it, whether on the first round of fucking or the second round or the third, don't give it to him so easily. Ask him why he thinks he's worth your manly attention. You've spent enough time telling him that he's trash. Give him the chance to tell you just how much of a skank he is. Sex is cerebral, too. Now a whore doesn't need an MFA degree in creative writing, but he does need imagination. He needs to be mentally in tune with his male desires to know exactly what he wants from you. Here's one good bottom answer: "I'm a hole in the wall staring you in the face. Any hot-blooded man would just stick it in me." Even an answer as simple as "I'm trash, fucker. What more can you ask for?" is stimulating. If a guy doesn't have imagination, then he's a sexual dead head. You'd have more of a response from your life-long best friend - your right hand.

Lesson 5:

If that faggot eating up your male stick asks how he feels, don't just say "nice" or "good." That's obvious, you retard, and one hell of a lobotomized answer. Don't even wait for the queer cretin to ask. Just say something. To this day the best your-ass-feels-great comment I got was from this NYC bathhouse trick. This tall, dark-haired, mean butt fucker walked into my room, grabbed me by the ankles and flung my legs over my head. Then he spat on his raw prick and shoved it deep where it matters most. With his face to the ceiling and his eyes shut in ecstasy, he moaned, "Your ass is like velvet on my cock!"

Lesson 6:

If your bottom trollop's ass feels like Velcro on your cock, then you're in trouble.

Lesson 7:

Beware of guys with names like Arnie and Orlando. Only one he-man Arnie exists in this universe and he earned his Universe hunk-o-rama title over forty years ago. Any other Arnie is just a cracked-out waif of a Nelly Nancy. Someone named Orlando most surely has a second name of Dawn. Such a Muscle Mary won't groan in the sack the way a man groans. She'll just sing at the top of her lunges to tie her yellow ribbon legs around your old oak tree. We all love the names of the male archetype: Steve, Hank, Bill, Brad, Dawson (you all know who I'm referring to)... Raf is also a name to believe in. A man/boy named Raf is a sure bet for a satisfying eternity of sexual pleasures. (Okay, so I'm promoting myself.)

Lesson 8:

If the screw chute squirming underneath you asks you repeatedly to stop, then please do so, no matter how generous of a spooge spout you've got. What ultimately matters is quality, not quantity. Bear in mind that your tramp of a tush has had so many cocks and cum up his ass that he needs some time to energize his butt batteries. If you refuse to honor him this bottom privilege, then he will forever regard you not... I repeat... not as a virtuoso fucker, but as a crude crap shooter.

Lesson 9:

Some of the best porn to play while having bum-bangin' sex is Falcon '80s and today's raw sodomy videos by Treasure Island Media, Dick Wadd Productions, SX, Threshold, and Dark Alley Media. Falcon '80s is a feast of all-American bozo-headed male meat trading skin and pre-cum without a care as to who is fucking whom and what hole a cock has been in. The modern-day barebacking videos slap you in the eyes with raunchy honchos actually shooting each other's anonymous sperm sprinkler into everyone's random asshole. This is full-on exchange of bodily fluids to the max.

Lesson 10:

You're a man - move on. If that sloppy boy butt clinging to your prick whines and bitches for seventeen and a half hours of monogamy, then stuff your wife's bloody tampon in his mouth. The twit ought to know that he's just another twat.