So ......

So you came back then? To be honest I didn’t think you would. I sort of reckoned you were pretty disgusted by me. I mean I was pretty pathetic wasn’t I?

What do you think of my new place? Bit better than the so called home my pig of an old man provided isn’t it? Do you like the colour I picked for the walls? I wanted something that wasn’t bland and boring but that didn’t give you a fuckin’ headache every time you looked at it. ‘Dawn Yellow’ it said on the tin. It’s brighter than I expected, but with the curtains and rugs I got from the British Heart Foundation shop on the high street and the sofa I found in that second hand place on the corner I think it kind of looks ok. Beggars can’t be choosers right?

I’ll put the kettle on. Make yourself comfortable. It’s two sugars and milk isn’t it? Thought so.

You must be wondering how a worthless dirty slag like me managed to get a flat like this. It’s a long story. I’ll  just finish the tea then I’ll tell you what happened. Ok?

* * * *

There you go. Not too strong, sweet and milky – just like me. Ha ha!

So, I was going to tell you how I came to be living here instead of that filthy fuckin’ shit hole you saw me in last time. It’d be funny if it weren’t so fuckin’ sad. Remember Hal and Billy? Yeah, that’s right, ‘pencil dick’ and ‘beer can’. Well when I turned eighteen they both told Dad they wanted something younger. Something more innocent. More ‘pliable’ is the word Hal used. Pliable? More like fuckin’ terrified and tight if you ask me.

Dad told me I had to go out and find a youngster living on the streets and bring him home for the guys to fuck. I think he thought I was some modern day Artful Dodger and he was this caring, sharing New Age Fagin. Only I’m not a kid anymore and he definitely ain’t no skinny old Jew with a heart of fuckin’ gold.  No disrespect to Jews of course, but Fagin wasn’t exactly a nice bloke was he? So I told him I wouldn’t do it. I mean, it’s one thing letting him use me as his friendly neighbourhood cum slut but there was no fuckin’ way I was gonna drag some other poor git into our sordid little circle. I suppose I should have been suspicious when he didn’t explode at my refusing to do it. He just smiled that sick, evil smile of his and told me to go and get ready for Hal. He said he was coming round to plug my arse one last time.

So I got myself cleaned up, inside and out, changed the bed and generally tidied up a bit. Not easy when everything I owned was knackered and falling to bits. Still, I did my best.

I was surprised when Hal showed up with Billy in tow. The two of them obviously knew each other but in all the years they’d been paying Dad for my arse they’d never done it together. I just thought, ‘oh well’ and did what I always had done. On my knees, mouth open, ready to suck them to erection. So, you can only guess at the shock I got when Billy back-handed me and sent me sprawling across the floor. Hal followed up with a steel toe-capped boot into my balls. I think I must have passed out. For fucks sake, I’ve been knocked about by Dad enough times to cope with pain from broken arms and ribs but what I felt when that hard, crippling boot smashed my bollocks to mini burger patties is beyond any words I know. I couldn’t even scream. So I just shut down. Gave in. I remember thinking ‘this is it’. No more running against my gorgeous Kenyans. No more sucking my old man’s peanut sized, cheesy piss flavoured cock.

‘Course I was wrong wasn’t I? Woke up a couple of hours later surprised I was still alive. Then the pain kicked me. I whined like a little kid and tried to cup my broken balls in my hands, only I couldn’t move my arms, nor my legs for that matter. The cunts had tied me face down on the bed, arse raised up and exposed by a couple of pillows under my hips. I was naked.

I’m not going to tell you everything they did to me, all I’ll say is that they did enough that a neighbour heard my screams and sobs and decided to call the police. When they forced their way into the house they found me covered in piss, spunk and blood. Apparently I was completely zoned out. I was in hospital for three days before I woke up and then I couldn’t stop crying. The nurses were lovely, but I screamed blue fuckin’ murder every time a male one came near me. Took weeks before I’d let a man I didn’t know touch me.

I was in a right fuckin’ mess let me tell you. Fractures in both arms and legs, perforated eardrum, temporarily blind in one eye. The piece de resistance was the state of my arse. They’d been taking turns trying to fit bigger and bigger things in it. Last one had been a beer glass. They’d pushed it so hard it broke. Cut my arse to ribbons. Blood everywhere. Doctor said I was lucky to be alive I’d lost so much blood! Three lots of blood they gave me before I was sewn back up and stable.

Social Services got involved and I had to see a shrink. According to the medical profession I was suffering from extreme trauma due to prolonged abuse and the fact that I almost died at the hands of my abusers. Dad put them up to it of course. The sick bastard watched as Hal and Billy fucked me senseless. Seems it was his idea to get them to shove the beer glass inside me. The psychiatrist told me that when the police arrested him he was bollock naked and covered in his own jizz. What a lovely fuckin’ image that conjures up. Jabba the Hutt covered in spunk – very nice!

Doctor Brunning. My shrink. Nice enough man. Talked a lot of shit. Thought he knew all about me. Said he could understand my suffering.

What the fuck would he know?

I bet you any fuckin’ money you like that his dad didn’t pimp him out when he was twelve years old. I’ll bet he hasn’t got a season ticket for the local A&E. And I’m absolutely fuckin’ certain he hasn’t had a beer glass shoved up his arse, although come to think of it he did always look sort of surprised. You know, wide eyed, as though he’d sat on something and it was stuck up there.

He told me that Dad charged them two hundred quid for the pleasure of fucking me to death. That’s two hundred for the both of them. Funny isn’t it? That’s the bit that upsets me the most. The stinking fat pig decided that’s all I was worth. Two hundred fuckin’ quid. The old cunt told the police it was my punishment for refusing to find them a new boy-toy.

I felt so fuckin’ worthless. Know what I mean?

How’s the tea? Ready for another? Give us your mug then.

* * * *

Hey, it’s alright mate, no need to cry for me. I’m good now. I mean look at me. I’m fitter and healthier than I’ve ever been.

Here’s your tea.

Comfy sofa isn’t it? Not bad for a tenner. Yeah, that’s all the old guy in the shop charged me, and he delivered it and got his lads to carry it up the stairs for me. Nice man. Didn’t want anything for doing it either. In fact, he seemed a bit put out when I offered to blow him as a thank you.

Run?  Yes. Just getting back in to it actually. I’ve joined the local athletic club. Even tried out for the team. Won the fuckin’ race  by a fuckin’ mile didn’t I? So now I’ve got this coach who thinks shouting and bullying me is going to turn me into some sort of Olympic hero. The daft cunt has no fuckin’ idea at all.

No, it’s Brian I run for now. It’s him I want to do good for.

Remember Brian? Yeah that’s him. Unrequited love and all that.

Well it turned out it wasn’t as unrequited as I thought.

He went fuckin’ ape-shit when he found out what had happened. I thought he was going to fuckin’ kill me when I told him what my life had been like for the last six years. Seems he’d been in love with me for ages but was frightened to tell me cause the stupid cunt thought I was straight! Can you fuckin’ believe it?

He came to see me in the hospital about a week after it all happened. The soppy queer was crying all over me. Snot everywhere. Not nice I can tell you. That’s when he decides to proclaim his undying love for me. How fuckin’ stupid must we have looked? I’m lying in bed, wires and tubes everywhere, a fucking tube up my dick and some sort of bag for my shit to let my arse heal, drugged to the fuckin’ eyeballs. And there’s Brian, tears and snot running down his face, eyes all red and puffy, gasping for breath between sobs trying to tell me how fuckin’ beautiful I am and how much he wants to love and protect me for the rest of my life.

Now it might have been the drugs. That’s what I tell Brian anyway. But I just started laughing. I mean it’s fuckin’ ridiculous isn’t it? So fuckin’ romantic – not. Well then he gets upset cause he thinks I’m laughing at him. Took me bloody ages to calm him down. Then he fuckin’ kisses me.

* * * *

What?

Sorry, I can’t help it. It’s the memory of that kiss.

I’d never been kissed before, well not by a mouth anyway. Every time I think of it I sort of go somewhere else. It’s like my life started again you see, when he kissed me. The nurses found us a few hours later. He’d got into bed with me. I remember it was like watching a bleedin’ contortionist as he got passed all those fuckin’ tubes and wires. Then there I was, head on his chest, arm across his flat, muscular stomach, his arm round my shoulders holding me close as though his life depended on it – I have to tell you that getting a hard-on with a catheter in your pipe is not fuckin’ funny. But he is so fuckin’ hot. Big cock too. Finally got him to fuck me two days ago now my arse is all repaired and better. What a fuckin’ night that was.

Different? Oh yeah, it was different alright.

We’ve been fooling about for a few weeks now. Since I got out of hospital and came to live with him – didn’t I tell you? We moved in together when the council gave me this flat. Social Services and the Shrink think it’s a great idea. Someone to keep an eye on me. They just don’t get it do they? I’m not who I was before his kiss. Now…….. well now, I’m Brian’s. Body and soul. Heart to heart. Lover to lover.

He was so gentle – until I told him not to be. He refused to go near my arse with anything but his tongue until the he spoke to my doctor and got his permission to fuck me. Only, neither of them actually used the word ‘fuck’. No, they both went on about us ‘making love’. I wondered what the fuck they were talking about, until he got me home and started to seduce me.

Fuck look at the time! He’ll be home soon. I’d better get on with dinner. Likes his food does Brian.

* * * *

There you go. Spaghetti bolognaise – so fuckin’ easy to make. We can leave it to simmer now. More tea?

* * * *

I’m glad you came to see me again. Bet you thought I’d still be living in shit and sucking the fat cunt off didn’t you?

I went to see him you know. In prison. Felt like I needed to. Don’t know what I expected.

He’d lost weight – fuck knows he needed to. And he looked cleaner. But he was still a cunt.

Looked at me like I was something nasty on his shoe. Kept licking his lips and rubbing himself. Like I’d get off on that! Told me I should have died. That I was a worthless piece of shit and that I’d never amount to anything but, and I quote, ‘a stinking, arse licking, cum eating streak of piss.’ Yeah, charmin’ ain’t he?

But you know what? I weren’t frightened of him anymore. He can’t hurt me now see. Can’t force me to lick him clean and swallow his dribble. I felt sorry for the old twat. Yes, honestly, I really did. I don’t suppose he thought his life would end up like this did he? When he was a kid I mean. They reckon he’ll die in there. The Judge just about threw the book at him.

Couldn’t help myself really. Just before I got up and left, I pushed my chair back, spread my legs wide and slowly played with my junk. Got good and hard too. I felt so fucking powerful. He was pathetic. Sat there with spit drooling out of his mouth and rubbed himself off. I knew he’d cum from the look in his eyes. I stood up, looked right at him and laughed. ‘Remember that cunt.’ I said. ‘Cause you’ll never see it again.’

Brian was waiting for me outside. I fuckin’ ran to him once I got outside those gates. Kissed him right there. In the middle of the street. Dozens of people walking passed. And he didn’t even flinch. Just wrapped his arms round me and kissed me back. Fuckin’ awesome it was. Fuckin’ awesome.

You want to stay for dinner? There’s plenty to go round. Good, you’ll get to meet Brian. You’ll have to excuse me for a few minutes in a bit though, I need to shower and change before he gets home. Likes me to be clean you see. Insists on it really. He gets a bit pissed off if I don’t smell nice for him. Don’t want to get him angry do I? Can’t lose him you see. He’s everything to me. And he loves me. Tells me every day.

When he fucked ……. I mean, made love to me that first time ………….. it was like I’d never been had by anyone before. Brian kept asking me if I was okay. Every time he did something for the first time he checked to make sure I was comfortable and liked what he was doing.

Liked it? Fuck me did I. What he can do to me with his hands and tongue is fuckin’ amazing. There wasn’t a single inch he didn’t stroke or lick, rub or nibble. By the time he turned me over and started kissing and licking my arse I was ready to fuckin’ burst. My dick was so friggin’ hard,  it was fuckin’ painful. Then he pushed his tongue in me, fucking it in and out like a short cock determined to be noticed. Well I noticed alright. Noticed so much I shot my fuckin’ load all over the bed without him touching my dick once.

I was begging him to fuck me. I remember almost screaming at him to put his lovely fat cock inside me. He’s got a beautiful piece has Brian. He let me measure it the other day. He’s just over nine inches long and nearly seven inches round. He’s got this really sexy foreskin – loves it when I nibble and chew on it.

He told me he was frightened of hurting me, what with all the stitches I’d had. Said he was scared he’d split the scars open. So I had him lay on his back, lubed him up then got him to watch me loosening myself. He looked fuckin’ gorgeous just lying there, his cock ramrod straight, his eyes all dark and lustful. Not like the way Hal and Billy used to look at me. No, Brian looks at me like I’m some thing special, some thing precious. And I could tell that him watching me pushing my fingers inside my arse, pulling and stretching it to get it ready for his cock was really turning him on.

I got as much lube up there as I could then got over him, knees each side of his hips. It felt so fuckin’ good when his helmet sort of docked with my cunt-ring. We both moaned. It made us laugh. That’s good too. We laugh a lot. He makes it fun. God, I fuckin’ love him.

I don’t know which of us held his breath longest when he suddenly pushed into me. I know I didn’t even think about breathing until I’d felt every thick, hard, beautiful inch of him fill me up. It didn’t hurt at all. I think it’s because I was made just for him and him for me. We’re like two pieces of the same jigsaw. We fit together abso – fucking – lutely  perfectly. I rode him for ages before he was satisfied I was really enjoying it, then he flipped us over and told me to wrap my legs round him. He sort of gathered me in his arms, kissed me and slowly at first began to take control.

It was fuckin’ amazing I have to tell you. I could feel every inch as it moved in, then out. In, out, in, out. Sometimes deep, sometimes shallow. Every now and then he’d really ram himself into me like he really wanted to get right into the heart of me. Kept telling me how beautiful I am and how much he loves me. I was fuckin’ gone, I mean really, really fuckin’ gone. Cum was leaking out of my dick like piss. My hands were trying to touch and hold him everywhere all at once. I knew I was crying but they were tears of happiness and love. We couldn’t get enough of each other. Twice he came inside me – he didn’t even stop for a rest after he shot his first wad up there. It felt fuckin’ great, and spunk let me tell you, is the best fuckin’ lube there is.

And noise! Well I was groaning, whimpering, begging ……… you name it. The next day, the old man next door told me he could hear everything. He said it was better than watching porn. Dirty old bugger said he wanked off three times listening to us. Brian was pretty vocal too, especially after he’d cum once and his knob all was sensitive and tender. Didn’t stop him from stroking my super responsive cunt though did it? He was like a fuckin’ machine and was determined to show me how good sex can be. Well he fuckin’ proved it. Fucked the cum right out of me he did.

One minute I was kissing him, my hands really digging into his back, the next I was screaming my tits off as the end of my fuckin’ dick exploded covering us both in a ton of hot jizz. I didn’t think it was going to stop, then he slammed himself into me so fucking hard I came again, as he filled me up for the second time.

Took us ages to come down. I cried as he held me tight, his cock still hard and throbbing deep inside me. He loved all the pain out of me. It was like he’d taken my empty heart and body and actually filled me with love and happiness. It was like his spunk inside me was some sort of magic medicine that made me whole, that gave me back to myself. He put back all the good Dad and those two bastards had ripped from me every time they used me. He just held me…………..just held me. He didn’t let go till I told him he could. That I felt safe now. That I felt his love in me …………on me ……… all around me.

Then he cried and I held him. I loved him. It was amazing. I mean I’ve read about love but I never actually expected to get it. Never even dreamed that one day someone strong and beautiful would love me. I mean, I was a dirty cum slut, good for nothing but my arse and mouth. But I was wrong see. And that old cunt I called ‘Dad’ was wrong too wasn’t he? Two hundred quid? Brian says I’m fuckin’ priceless. And you know what? I actually believe him.

Anyway, I’d best get that shower. You okay entertaining yourself for a bit? Get another cup of tea if you want one.

I’ll just go get ready for my man. My Brian.