Starting over

Written By:  Bill Hudley

I have to get away from here but I haven't the slightest idea where I'll go.  Roger James, my partner, and companion of the past fifteen years just informed me that he's in love with someone new and he and  I are through.  We'll sell the house and at 36, I'll be starting over.  I was completely dumbstruck, I backed my way to the sofa and sat on the arm, my mouth open but unable to form any words.  

When I saw his luggage by the door, a wave of nausea swept over me and but I fought to keep myself under control.  I was determined that I would not break down in front of him.  If he can toss away our fifteen years together so casually, I'll be damned if I'll let him see how he has hurt me.  

I watched as he took his keys from the right side pants pocket and removed the keys to our house from his keychain.  As he laid them on the end table he looked at me for the first time.

“I'm really sorry, Eddie.  I didn't mean for this to happen, it just did.  I know it isn't fair to you, but I can't help that.  You'll be fine after it's all over and done.  I'll always love you it's just that now I'm not in love with you.  I wish you well, goodbye.”  

He placed his house keys on the end table and walked out the door and out of my life.  I slipped off the sofa arm and onto the floor, I lay there for hours, it was dark outside when I woke.

Once my head had cleared I realized that I have a new opportunity ahead.  I made a drink, Gin over ice, and went to my computer, I began searching for apartments and was terribly disappointed in the selection available in my part of the city.  Since Roger left, the news of our break up was the talk of the town where our friends were concerned.  My phone has been ringing nearly constantly.  Mostly its been friends offering their sympathy and trying to get me to go to dinner or a movie.  I knew that they were doing just what good friends do but I didn't want to hear it as yet. 

Finally, I called Dawson Andrews, a good friend for many years and a top notch Real Estate Agent in our city. Dawson hadn't heard about Roger's new friend and was shocked when I related all the gory details to him.  I told him I would be out of town for a week, maybe two but I wanted him to find a place for me that I could afford alone.    

I'm Edward Hamilton a design engineer for the Illinois Department of Highways.  I'm 37 years old and a gay male who is very recently single again.  One of the friends who had been the first to call offered me his cabin in the Northern Virginia mountains.  He explained that it was very basic, no electricity, no running water.  The saving grace and the thing that made me say yes to his offer was the solitude the place offered.  

There is a spring fed lake about a quarter of a mile away and best of all I would be alone, there was complete solitude.   I had checked in with the Forest Ranger office and gave my location and the time I  expected to be there.   I must sort out a number of things as well as severing all ties with Roger.  At my age, I cannot afford to misjudge the people that may come into my life.  By the time I reached the path to the cabin I was eager to begin my week or so of solitude.  

The road ended and I had to hike the last half mile to the cabin.  I calculated the cabin's approximate size by counting the four sheets of 4'x8' plywood on each side of the cabin.  It is 256 square feet of space, containing a bed, a table with two chairs, a sink and cupboard shelf on the wall above the sink.  There's a heating stove that I could cook on and boil water from the lake for drinking. I explored, noting that there was a place for everything and everything was in its place.

Due to the dense canopy of tree leaves and branches, not much sunlight made it's way to the ground anywhere near the cabin and by six O'clock it's already dark outside.  I brought out a chair and a pad and pen to jot down my ideas if needed and sat beside the cabin door and thought about the changes I had to make as well as ones that might give me new opportunities.  Sitting there. I realized that I hadn't thought about Roger all day.  It seemed odd to me that after caring so much about him over the years, now that he is so suddenly gone from a life I haven't cried for what we lost. 

The night creatures of the forest began their nightly rituals and try as I might, there were only a very few that I could identify.  I let the pen and pad fall to the ground, It was much too dark for reading already.  As I concentrated on the animal sounds I suddenly heard one that sounded like a wounded animal, it sounded very similar to an injured dogs whimper.   I turned and went inside to get my flashlight when I returned I stood completely still for more than three minutes before I heard the same sound again.  I turned on the flashlight and swept it across the forest in front of me.  I did a wide sweeping arc with the flashlight and as I swept back in the opposite direction I saw a glint of something, it could have been an animals eyes.  Just then I heard the whimpering noise again and this time I was certain that it was an injured dog.  

I stepped forward slowly sweeping the light back and forth before me and I saw the glint of a pair of eyes again.  Emboldened now I stepped into the forest area and soon found the injured dog.  It's rear left leg was a bloody mess, it looked like it had been bitten several times and it was caked with dried blood. 

A quick exam showed that the dog was large, much too large for me to pick up and carry back to the cabin.  Thinking quickly I remembered seeing an old woolen army blanket in the cabin and I took it back to the place where the dog lay and managed to get the dog onto the blanket.  I grabbed the blanket ends and dragged the blanket with the dog back to the cabin.

Inside the cabin, I poured a pan of water for him to drink and went about finding something the dog could eat.  My rummaging uncovered two cans of spam, four cans of tomato soup, canned beans, canned corn, a can of Corned beef Hash as well as the food that I had brought with me.

I heated water on the stove and set about cleaning the poor creature's wounds.  It took me a couple of tries before the dog would let me bandage the injured leg, but it was finally accomplished and the dog began to eat the Spam lunch meat.

I found myself talking to the dog. Spilling out all my troubles for only the dog to hear.  After eating he had raised from lying on his side to lying on the floor in an upright position and he twitched his ears and met my eyes as I talked to him,  Without knowing his name, I began calling him Bud.  The first time I said that name his ears perked up and he tilted his head to the side like he understood.

As I lay back on the bed Bud stood and tried to climb up on the bed with me.  Seeing that he wouldn't make it with only one good back leg I helped him up and he lay down with his back against my side.  He let out a long sigh like he knew that he would be alright now.  Getting drowsy myself, I turned and spooned up to bud's back and lay my arm across him.   As I began to doze off I had only one complaint'  Bud snores!

Sometime before daylight managed its way through the overhead canopy Bud was scratching at the door.  Grudgingly, I swung my feet to the floor and opened the door for him.  Bud did a three-legged run into the forest and I didn't see him again for several hours.  When he did return, he was anxious and agitated, running to the edge of the forest and then looking back to me.

I had seen enough “Lassie' movies and shows to know when a dog is trying to tell me something  Clearly, Bud wanted me to follow him.  I grabbed my backpack and my phone and locked the door as we left.  Bud would stop and wait for me to get in sight again before he took off on his 3 legs again.  After six or seven of Bud's exhortations for me to hurry up I could see a clearing and cabin up ahead.  Bud took off at a gallop (if it is possible to gallop on three legs) and was scratching at the cabin door as I approached.

I called out “Hello” loudly and waited, as I waited for a return sound Bud went crazy scratching at the door.  I ran up and called out again but this time I heard a groan from inside the cabin.  Pushing open the door I saw a haggard man obviously in pain.  Looking down I saw his left leg was lying at an odd angle, I knew immediately that the leg was broken and has been for at least a day if not longer.  I had no idea how long Bud had searched for someone to help his master.  Rummaging through the man's backpack I found his identification.  His name is Steven Hubbard and his address is in Northern Illinois about 60 miles from my house in Chicago

I stood and ventured into the clearing hoping that I could get a cell signal in this wilderness.  I held the phone high and turned about searching for a signal.  At last, I found one and quickly dialed the Forest Ranger's Station.  After I explained our situation the and told the Ranger that the man was Steven Hubbard, he checked his list of campsites told me that a Rescue Copter would be in the air within fifteen minutes or less and that he was sending the map coordinates for my location to the Rescue Squad.

Back inside the cabin, my heart melted as I saw Bud licking his master's hand as it hung over the side of the bed.  I knew at that moment that I would have a dog as soon as I was in a new home.

When I first heard the helicopter I looked at my watch and saw that it had only been ten minutes since I called the Ranger Station., four minutes later the Helicopter descended to the ground.  I kept my hold on Bud's collar as the Rescue team entered the cabin.  Since finding his master Bud hasn't limped on his bad leg at all.  When the Rescue leader came out of the cabin he took my name, address, and phone number and thanked me for calling the rescue team.  He told me that the dog (Bud) would have to go to an animal shelter.  I looked up at him alarmed.

“NO!  He can't be sent to a shelter, this dog is s a hero, he saved his master's life.  It isn't fair to throw him into an Animal Shelter, he would die there.  I know that I'm no relation to his owner, but seeing the way that Bud reacted to his injured master, being in a shelter would kill his spirit.  Is there any way that I could take care of Bud?  He's done too much to be put into a shelter.  Please, is there any way that I can take care of this dog until his master is well enough to take care of him.  

The Rescue Unit Leader smiled and said...

“I was hoping that you would react just the way you did.  According to the Ranger's office, the man is Steven Hubbard, here are his phone number and address given to the Park Ranger.  I'll give your name and numbers to Bud's master myself and I'll assure him that bud will be well cared for.  

I agree with you, Bud is a hero, he deserves a loving home while his master recuperates from his injury.  The rescue leader gave me a piece of paper with Bud's owner's name, address, and phone number.

The Rescue copter lifted off of and was soon just a distant noise.  I sat on the ground and held Bud when the copter lifted.  His eyes and ears were at full attention as his master was loaded into the copter.  Luckily, Bud seemed to understand, he didn't make any effort to follow after his master.  Somehow Bud seemed to know that he would be with me now until we can reunite him with his owner.  Bud watched the copter until it was out of sight then he looked up at me.  I hugged him close and told him that his master would be fine in a few weeks.

Still sitting on the ground with Bud's head in my lap I phoned for Dawson, my real estate agent and could not get a signal.  I stood and held the phone high and finally got through to Dawson's answering machine and left a message telling him that I need to find a home with a fenced backyard quickly and that I'd be back in the city by tomorrow afternoon.

My next call was to the Ranger Station informing them that I would be leaving first thing in the morning.  Bud checked out the cabin where his master had been, smelling everything in sight.  I took the few personal items and packed his clothes.  I even took the bedding with his master's scent on it for Bud to lie on, I trashed the perishable food as we left the Ranger's Station. 

Back in the city, my first call was to Dawson who already had two properties lined up for me to see.  On the way to meet with Dawson I dropped Bud off at the dog Groomers for a fresh bath and a comb out of tangled fur.  I relayed his heroics to the grooming staff and they smothered him with loving attention as well as many, many treats.

The first house Dawson took me to was a mid 60's ranch with virtually no updating in over fifty years.  The second place had great possibilities, it is a Craftsman style home from the late forties with new plumbing, new wiring, and fresh paint.  The kitchen does need a major overhaul with cabinets, countertops, and appliances.  Out the kitchen door, there was a large patio with an outdoor dining area and a 20' x 40' swimming pool.  An 8' wooden privacy fence enclosed the backyard. I liked the Craftsman home a lot! 

Dawson dropped me off at the Groomer's to pick up my car, I bailed out a clean and very handsome Bud from the grooming shop and we headed back to my house.  The phone was ringing when I opened the door, I let the answering machine take the call.   It was Roger, calling to set up a time when we could get together and talk.

I didn't return his call for three days just for the hell of it.  When I did call him I threw him off by asking 'What is there to talk about Rog?  You found someone else, you left our home, I'm getting a place of my own and 'our' house will be sold.  Was there something else that you needed to talk about?  I've canceled all our joint credit cards we had, I changed the insurance on my car, we'll have to keep the insurance on the house until it sells.  What else is there to talk about?  

Ahh, I think I understand you're wanting some of the furnishings we purchased as a  couple.  Go ahead Rog, you can have every stick of the furniture and art.  I'll even give you a great deal, we bought those things together so you can have it all we'll total up the original prices we paid, divide it in half, add 20 percent for the increased value and it's a done deal.  To my great surprise, he accepted my proposal on the spot.

As we were saying goodbye I heard a little catch in Roger's voice, it sounded like he was about to cry.   We were walking out of the restaurant where we agreed to meet and I noticed that Roger looked ill.  He was ghostly white and I could see the droplets of perspiration on his forehead.

“Rog?  Is everything okay, you look ill? “ I asked.

He looked into my eyes.  “No everything is not right.  I've made the biggest mistake of my life and I can't undo it.  I'm so sorry Eddie.”

We made it out to our cars and I asked again if he is okay.  He mumbled quietly that he would be alright.  He said “I'm sorry' a couple of times more as I was getting into my car.  I have to admit that it hurt to see him so unhappy.  I had heard from friends that his 'new guy' wasn't one to settle down with just one guy for very long.  I did feel sorry for him and I do wish him well.

Dawson and I made another trip to see the Craftsman home again and I made an offer on the spot.  Two days later the sellers countered my offer and I had to back out of the deal.  The seller's counteroffer was more than $20,000 over what I had expected to pay the house. I was disappointed but knew I needed to keep cool and stay within budget.

Meanwhile, Bud and I visited the dog park almost daily.

Sometimes things happen that you least expect.  Out of the blue, Dawson got a call from the owners of the Craftsman home that I had to back out on.  I don't know what had happened but they offered me the house for $5,000 less than the figure they rejected four weeks ago.  It took another two weeks to get the inspections and paper trails examined and we closed at the end of the month.  

I selected my new furniture from Haverhill's Bogart collection and paid for it with the money Roger paid for the furnishings in our house together

Bud loves his huge backyard and I love my new home.  I had the kitchen redone with new cabinets, countertops, new appliances and refinished the kitchen and sun room's original hardwood floors.  The kitchen redo took about three weeks and I was over the moon after everything was done.  

Bud and I settled in quickly and immediately I felt at home.  I spent my evenings preparing dinner for two, Bud loves my cornbread with his Blue Mountain Dog food. We quickly developed a routine, me in my easy chair with my laptop and Bud stretched out on the leather sofa.  We usually go to bed at eleven, after going out to do his toilet he came in on a run and didn't stop until he was stretched out on my bed.  

I spooned up to him and we began to doze off...There was only one thing wrong at that moment.  Bud still snores!  

I've been in the house for almost three months now and the longer I'm here the more I love it.  I was reading the Sunday paper when Bud suddenly went crazy.   Jumping off the sofa and running to the door, he stood on his back legs and looked back to hurry several times before I reached the door.  As soon an I began to open the door Bud pushed his muzzle through and charged out the door and down the driveway to a man with a cane walking toward us.   Bud's front feet hit the man in the chest and they both rolled on the ground.

Bud was licking and whimpering as he laid on the poor guy.  I had a sinking sensation in my gut, I knew that this could be only one person, this has to be Bud's master, the man with the broken leg at the cabin a few months ago.  Eventually the man sat up, still on the driveway and Bud lay across his lap.  The man looked up and smiled at me.

“Mr. Hamilton?”

“Yes, I'm Eddie Hamilton, and you have to be Steven Hubbard.”  Both Bud and I are glad to see you've recovered from your accident.”

I offered my hand to help him to his feet.

“Please come inside Steven, we have a lot to talk about.”

Once inside and seated, Steven and  Bud across his lap, I started talking about his accident and the heroics of Bud the Wonder Dog.  I related everything that happened at the Park cabins, how I had heard Bud's cry for help[ and how much I've come to care for him.

Steven said “I was so relieved when I heard that you had volunteered to keep Buddy while I was incapacitated.  At first, I feared for him, afraid that he would end up in a shelter. There's no way that I can thank you enough for saving my best friend.”

“You called him Buddy, is that his name?  Since the night I found him I've called him 'Bud.'  That's why he perked his ears and cocked his head that first time I called him Bud.  Tell me, Steven, what is your occupation?  Where do you live?”

“ My home was in Northern Michigan, I...uh...was at the cabin because of a personal matter...I'd rather not discuss just yet if you don't mind.

I'm not sure just yet where Buddy and I will end up but I know I will not be going back to Northern Michigan to live.”

“I can sympathize, Steven,  My partner of 15 years left me suddenly about three months ago, Bud...uh  Buddy and I have only been here a short while.  I feel like I know you because of the incident at the Park and because of this wonderful animal of yours, I'll be heartbroken when he leaves.”

Steven let out a big sigh and looked at me with a crooked little smile crossing his face and said...

“It seems that we have much more in common than I first thought The same thing happened to me, my partner left me for another man also.  But in these last few months since I've been single again I've learned a great deal about myself and what I want from life.  My first priority is to find a job that I will truly enjoy, then we'll find a nice place to live.  You've done so much for Bud and I already I hesitate to ask another favor but as things stand right now, I must.  

 “Would it be too much of imposition if Buddy stays here with you while I find a job and a place for us to live?”

“I have a better idea, Steven.  Stay here while you find work, Bud and I; will be happy you are here; I'll be glad for the company of both of you.  No, you will not be an imposition, I do not do well when I'm alone.  I've been half of a couple so long sometimes I fear being alone.”  

“Hmm..we have much more in common that I could have hoped for Eddie, I was with my partner for only eight years, but I can relate, I know pain.”  

  “You must have luggage Steven, where did you leave it.”

“I checked into an inexpensive motel near the airport last night, my things are there.”

“You and Buddy are welcome here Steven, please come and stay here.  Both of us have major changes in our lives it imperative that we make the choices best for each of us the while we put our lives back together.  I will enjoy having you and Buddy here immensely.”

“But...you don't even know me, Eddie, how can you invite a stranger in like that.”

“I may not know you well Steven, but I know your dog. I can see the kindness in your eyes, plus bud wouldn't stay with a master that isn't a good and honest man. Please Stay with here for a while.  Let's go get your things now before you say no.”

“You're incredible Eddie.  I'll do all I can to ensure you will not regret this.  Thank you.”

It's been four months now since Steven and Buddy came into my life.  We're great friends with many things in common.   Steven found work as an assistant football coach at the University of Chicago.  He is also working toward his Master's Degree in Physical Education.  Steven and I have become great friends and each time he mentions getting his own place I talk him out of it using Buddy and the backyard as the main reason he should stay here.  He is a good friend but I can't deny my almost irresistible sexual attraction to him.  I try my best to keep that part a secret for fear of loosing him and Buddy.

Late one Sunday night around midnight a heavy rainstorm rolled in off of Lake Michigan with frightening streaks of lightning and torrential rain.  We lost power about ten minutes into the storm.  I took a flashlight and went to check on Steven and Bud in their room.   Steven was spooned up to Bud's back, holding him close.  When he saw the light from my flashlight Steven said...

“Get in Eddie, the more the merrier.”

I had an instant boner as I spooned up to Steven's back.  I quickly readjusted myself and settled against him with my hard cock tucked between my legs.

After a few minutes, Steven turned his head and smiled at me.  

“You feel good spooned up behind me Eddie.  It's been a long, long time since anyone has touched me.  Feeling your hard cock against me made my own stand at attention..”

Steven turned, letting his hold on Bud slip away.  He looked into my eyes and slowly moved his face toward mine. There was a mutual and intense hunger when our lips finally touched.  I held his face in my hands as his kiss reached deep into my soul.  As I returned his kiss, Steven's arms pulled me tightly against him, our hardened members now between us and rubbing against each as we writhed  and lost ourselves in the throes of 'man lust.'

Steven held me close with his arms and legs wrapped around me, ensuring that I could not leave his grasp even if I had wanted to.   He moved his head back just enough to look into my eyes.

“You're okay with this then?”  Steven asked.

“I've wanted to kiss you since the first time I laid eyes on you, Steven.  You were unconscious on that cot in the cabin as we waited for the 'Rescue Team.'  To say I'm okay with this is the understatement of the year.  

“Then I'll ask Bud to move over to his pallet on the floor.  I want you to make love to me Eddie.  I want you inside me, please.”

I was surprised a bit, I've always imagined it the opposite way with 

Steven inside me.  I was a bit in awe of him now that we were in bed and about to make love.  He's such a virile, handsome man that I fear I won't please him sexually.  He slipped out of the bed, leaned down and let his tongue use my uvula as a punching bag for a few moments, then a light peck on the lips as he went into the bathroom.  

He came out of the bathroom, naked and walking toward the bed with his substantial member pointed directly at me, I fought back the orgasm I felt rising.  Seeing his beautiful, naked, aroused body approach me was surreal...like I was in the dream I've had often since our first meeting.

Steven knelt beside the bed and lay his face on my chest, his tongue darting out to circle a nipple every few moments.  His kiss morphed into his tongue tracing down my body, licking, kissing my body and driving me to complete distraction.

As his face neared my crotch he stopped and inhaled my man scent deeply, one hand played with my testicles while the other pulled his face hard against my eager lips.  I moved to take each testicle into my mouth, once I had them I closed my lips and reared back straining the cords inside them to the point of Pleasure/pain that brought a cry from my throat.

With a quick glance to my face, we locked eyes and he slowly pulled my steel hardened cock to his lips.  I very nearly ejaculated as he took my entire length into his throat.  With his eyes locked on mine, he began to bob up and down letting me know that he was intent on taking my orgasm into his mouth.  

I couldn't hold back, this wonderful, beautiful man can do what he wants with me.  I am completely and helplessly under his spell.  As he gently nursed the remaining few drops of semen from my still hard cock, I cried out his name and held my arms open to him.  Pulling him to me with my face buried in his neck I sobbed out his name again.

“You're wonderful Steven, so much more than I could have imagined.”

“I was inspired, these past few months with you have given me new hope Eddie.  I think we'll need to do a lot more of that.  I feel even closer to you now that you are inside me.”

I flipped Steven onto his stomach and stretched my body out to cover his.  With our hands and fingers intertwined I wanted to just melt into his body as we lay there.  Sitting astride his legs just below his butt, I began to massage his shoulders and back, eliciting moans of pleasure from him.  When I reached the point where his butt swelled into hard muscled mounds I added my mouth and tongue to my worship of his body.

Kneading his firm butt cheeks, I blew air across his cheeks just to watch the goose flesh creep up his torso.  His moans of delight turned into screams of pleasure when my tongue dug into his wrinkled opening.  He quickly reached back and pressed my face harder into his writhing butt.  My own clock was leaking a steady stream of its clear liquid and I let it lubricate his anus.  

Spreading his legs I knee walked up to his flexing, puckering hole.  Guiding my cock I gently pushed against him then withdrew to apply more lube with my fingers.   It was only a few moments before I had four fingers and part of my hand churning in and out of his anus.

“Please Eddie, Please.  Your cock!  Please get your cock inside me.  I need you, Eddie, please fuck me.  Fuck me hard, let me know my man is riding my butt.  Fuck me!”

Once My cock was deep into his guts, Steven raised to his knees with his face and shoulders still on the bed.  Having spent al of m7y time with Roger as a bottom, I had forgotten the wonderful sensations that assail the cock while as it pleasures both parties to orgasm.  Steven begged me to let him turn to his back and I eagerly obliged, I wanted to be kissing his as we each reached the apex of lovemaking.  We both screamed out as our orgasms stretched our bodies taut, muscles tensed, our toes pointed as an explosion of love filled our heads and hearts in that moment of perfect bliss.

 don't remember us uncoupling, it was nearly an hour before either of us stirred.  With my eyes still closed I hugged him to me. And I felt a tear run down my cheek.

I felt Steven's finger wipe away the tear.  “Yes Eddie, I'll stay here with you as long as you'll have me.”

More tears followed as we hugged together tightly.  Steven pulled the bed covers up and we slept for nearly three hours.  The storm was gone and the sun was rising in the sky. When I woke Steven was looking at me.

“Good morning lover!  You were wonderful last night.”

“I was inspired like never before Steven,”  I said as I  slipped into my boxer's and started to the coffee pot.  As I passed him Steven grabbed my arm and pulled me into another toe-curling, good morning kiss.”

“Did you mean what you said last night Steven?  Will you  and Bud stay here with me?”

“Yes Eddie, for as long as you will have us we are yours."

The End