Shaytan

by Bert LaVey

22 Aug 2017 3663 readers Score 8.5 (53 votes) PDF Mobi ePub Txt


SHAYTAN

Well, let’s say I did not end up in heaven.

They said I fell out of a 12 story window from drinking and smoking too much at a party.

That is how I died?  I was only 22.  Fuck! I merely fell out of a fucking window?  WTF?  No triumphant death?  Just a mere miscalculation of where I decided to plant my ass for the night?

I was super-pissed!

And here I stood at the Pearly gates of heaven in this white robe.  Hell!  At least I made it!

St. Peter addressed me.

“Why should God or Jesus take your pick let you into heaven?”

“What if Allah is God?” Was my first question.

“ALRIGHT FUCKING ALLAH TOO! GODDAMNIT!   ANYONE ELSE?”

I shook my head ‘No’ real fast.

 St. Peter came over to me and put his hand on my shoulder.  

“Look son, forgive me!  I had a fucking hard day today. Pedophiles, rapists Catholic Priests all wanting to get into heaven saying they could not help themselves and that Jesus has to forgive them and Trump trying to buy heaven from Jehovah, it’s really been a shitty day! So just tell me why should God let you into heaven?”

“I actually did help this little old lady across the street one day just out of the kindness of my heart.”

“Good!”  That is enough, you may enter.  "Now where is the Divine Bar?" 

The Pearly Gates opened and I marched right in like the Saints and long and behold I saw Wanda!

Wanda had stood me up for four nights straight!  She told me she loved me cheated on me countless time and to think of it she wasn’t even that good a lay.  Plus she jacked my computer and hacked my bank accounts. Told my mother I was gay, and worst of all STOLE MY BAG OF GANJA before she left me, in my car, high and dry.  What was SHE doing here in heaven? Don’t tell me Jesus forgave her sorry two-time cheating ass too?  I growled and attacked her like a madman.

Of course our robes came off in no time and we were wrestling around heaven butt naked for all to see.

Suddenly there was a loud crash of lightening and Jehovah appeared like a gigantic  monster.

“Who dares fuck up my perfect heaven with violence!?”

He looked at me and Wanda and seeing it was us who had caused all the commotion simply said “GET OUT!”


“Welcome to Hell!” The handsome guy at the door said.

“Don’t worry about your luggage or earthly affairs you will be here forever.”

Then Satan came into the room a giant of a man, dressed in a Roman General uniform he was the most sexy and handsomest man I ever seen.  My dick got immediately hard as did Wanda was swooning.  WTF? I was straight, why was my dick getting hard?

Could it be that he reminded me of Tony one of my best friends who I wanted to fuck in the ass for some odd reason?

“Who Am I?”  Satan said to both of us.  You could feel His awesome force around us.

Wanda, Mis Know-It-All replied first of course with what she thought was the right answer.

“You are the Devil!  The Vicious Evil Spirit that murders children and innocent people and destroys Christians, Orthodox Jews and Muslims.”

“Hmm that last part you got right.  But how dare you call me a murderer of children and innocence men!?  I murdered no one in the bible!  Jehovah does that!  Begone!”

Satan pointed his finger at Wada and she caught on fire and went up in a blaze of smoke.

“Mmm, and she would had been a nice fuck too!” Satan said to himself.

“Who do you say that I Am?”

“My sweet Lord?”  I said meekly.

“Haaaa, I like you!”  Satan said.  “Wanna have some dirty butffucking sex?”

“Lead the way Oh Mighty One!”  I said.

Fuck I was going to have sex with the Devil.

Excuse me.  The King of hell and earth.

WTF?

Hey, I had been in prison before and had to do some things I am not exactly proud of.  And Satan looked like a guy you did not want to piss off!

Satan’s bedroom was a wonder and amazement to see.

It had all kinds of rare collectibles in it from the original Mickey Mouse doll to the Hope diamond.  {I know, how was the Hope diamond in two places at once, don’t t fucking ask me.}

“I really don’t bed guys the first time they get here, but you are so hot!”  Satan said in a deep rugge voice as he lower the top of His uniform.  His chest would lay Arnold Schwarzenegger to rest.  It almost looked unreal.

But what was unreal was when he stepped out of His uniform and stood butt naked in front of me.

I was scared as shit but intrigued at the same time.  After all I was in hell what the hell was I too expect.  I would use my same philosophy that got me through life and “Go With The Flow-The Tao!”

You see, I was not making love to some horne-tailed deity.

Satan was a shape-shifter and He could be anything or anyone He wanted to be so he just morphed into the ‘dream guy’ I loved most to have sex with.

I was out of my robe in no time and feeling an unusual power around and in us we just automatically kissed each other passionately.

My dick was never so hard as it was now in my whole life.  And my butthole was twitching from seeing that big, uncut meat hanging between Satan’s thighs.

His hands were like that of a Superman.  Everywhere he touched me my body seem to become electrified.

He got on his knees in front of me and took my whole cock into this mouth and began sucking on it so strong I nearly passed out right then and there!

More beautiful and strong than a Norse god, Satan took me to His bed and laid me on it.  He lifted my legs and planted his tongue in my asshole.  I nearly nutted all over my stomach!

Every part of my body was more than alive with sexual energy.

I could hardly stand it.  If he tongued my hole too much longer I was going to cream all over his face.

But He stopped, my body still tingling.

He moved up my chest with this enormous  torpedo like dick hovering over my eyes.  His ball sac and perineum dragging on my chest.

It looked like the GoodYear blimp going into it’s portal.

I opened wide my mouth as I grabbed his muscular ‘buns of steel’ and his silky foreskin just covered my lips as the head pushed through it and the unbelievable shaft entered my mouth.

I got lock jaw from just the first few inches of it in my mouth.

Satan was on top of me now and His body seem a distance from me His cock was so long.

He had this devilish grin on His face like He was going to kill me wit His dick!  And I thought He was too!  For he began to push his tight ass forward as his cock slid down my throat.  But no human being could swallow all that man-meat at one time without choking to death.  And his cock, like a big train was going down my throat non-stop!

I began to gag as His monstrous 20 inch, hard as granite dick, went down my throat.

From the back you could see this giant of a beastly man lowering his rock hard shaft down my gullet.

It was an experience you cannot describe.

Satan began to fuck me in the mouth.  His cock wasn’t even half way in.

But He pulled it out slowly and slide it back in so that I could taste the skin of the hard meat and feel the blood pulsating through it’s veins.  I could smell Satan’s manhood and feel the tightness of His asscheeks as He slide his cock down my throat.

I could hear ecstatic music in the background that lifted me out of my body so that I was just an Instrument of His sexual pleasure, lust and delight.

His cock went further and further in my mouth and I thought I would had died when I saw what Satan was grinning about.

I was already dead!  I could not die!

Then the floodgates opened.

Seeing how I did not have to breathe,with all m might, body and soul, I sucked the rest of Satan cock down my throat.  His 20 inches slide into my mouth till Satan was balls deep at my face.

Like a gentle lover he fucked my mouth and  with long and short strokes till He gushed a load of cum in me that felt like I had just drunk the sweetest and most nutritional cow’s milk on the market.

I could feel globs of globs of cum erupting out of his cock that was filling up my throat into my stomach.  His body contracting like a bodybuilder each time His cock jetted out another stream of thick white cum.

“Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!”  He moaned on top of me His cock still buried deep in my throat.

He got up and slowly his anaconda of a dick slid out of my mouth.  Not so hard but still just as thick.  The foreskin at the head still had some of the thick cum in it and I took only the foreskin in my mouth and licked it clean.

We laid there awhile like two teen-age best friends, Satan cracking me up at some of the idiot things people do on earth.  Then His dick started getting hard again as it reached for the stars.

“I was just thinking about fucking you.”  He said with a sheepish grin.

There was no way in hell I could ever get that thing up my virgin straight butthole.  It would rip me apart.

But wait-a-minute!  I am in hell!

Was I straight on earth and now ‘gay’ in hell, I was interested.

It was going to be one hell of an experience.

“But wait!” Satan said as he straddled my face and began lowering is manly asshole to my lips.

“Let’s try this first!”

To Be Continued...

by Bert LaVey

Email: [email protected]

Copyright 2024