Rapper’s Delight

I Always Got Your Back

Let me tell y’all a story about my life so far. My name is Justin “Justice” Garson. Growing up in Atlanta has been a struggle for me and my family. We were in the hood and that’s as far as we knew. Our TV only worked if someone was paying the bill that month. The only channel I watched was MTV. They would show all this musical talent of various people. It go from R&B to old school rap to new school rap. I mean these were some of the most lyrical folks back in the day to me. You could feel what they were trying to say in every bar and rhyme they made. I told myself that I wanted to be like that when I got older. It seemed like my only way out of the hood.

Now it wasn’t like there were always some bad things there. I had my younger brother, Terrell, who would keep me laughing all day. I told him that he need to be a comedian. He was always into that Eddie Murphy standup and Katt Williams too. He would sometimes get the family together and put on a show. Even though some of his stuff was cringe, he still was able to make us laugh. I swear that nigga crazy.

Then, there was my girl, Ember Harrison aka Nessy, who is my ride or die chick. I felt sane and happy that she was around. Life wasn’t as hard when she stepped into the picture. She has an amazing voice that would knock you on your feet. Sometimes she would sing to the ice cream man and get free ice cream for us. She was a true finesser, hence the nickname “Nessy”.

Lastly, there was my nigga, Christopher Johnson aka Cash. How I can put it like this? This muthafuka came into my life when I was at my lowest and helped me be a better me. I am truly grateful for him. He was 3 years older than me and was like a big bro to me. He got me more involved in the streets, which my folks hated, but they knew one thing about Cashius. He will always have my back. No matter what it is. He is right there and I trust him more than anyone in this whole world. I got love for my boy.

Since I was 16, I was hustling in the streets trying to find someone to listen to my music. Can you believe nobody didn’t want to hear me? I continued my work until I was 18. Then, I had to put it on pause because I was going off to college. I went to Savannah State to pursue a degree in Music. Yeah, a nigga went to get an education. Shit, I had find a way to get out of the hood if my music wasn’t gonna do it for me. I heard some of the dudes in the dorm playing music and making it too. I felt that itch again, but I was ready to give up until Cash called me one day.

“Yo, Jus, where you at nigga?” Cash shouted through my phone. It sounded like he was winded and out of breath.

“Bruh, I’m at school. Where you at? You was supposed to be here an hour ago!” I shout back to him.
“Bro, there’s this producer that want to meet you. He go by RhinoS!”

“Huh?! Man, get off my phone with dat bullshit!” I said not believing the hype.

“Hold on.” Cash said. Then, I heard some static and a voice came over it.

“Yo! Am I speaking to Justice?” a voice said. I looked at my phone like it was a telemarketer.

“Uh-this is he. Who may I be speaking with?” I said in my proper voice.

“This is RhinoS! How’s it going my brother?”

“Oh shit! It deadass is you! What da fuck!” I yelled back to the phone.

People were staring at me like I just got out of the looney bin. I didn’t give fuck because all that matter was that I’m on the phone with my nigga, RhinoS! We chopped it up for a bit and set up an appointment to meet at the studio.

*2 years later*

Shit, life was still the same. I mean I was getting some money, but it wasn’t like I was rolling in dough. Man I wasn’t even in flour. I was able to buy me some chips and ice with the money I was making. This nigga, RhinoS, made a bunch of empty promises and I was getting sick of his lies. I legit left college two years ago to make my dream come true in LA. I dropped a few mixtapes and got some good feedback. Though, the label wasn’t feeling the music at the time. They kept saying, “In due time, you got to wait your turn.” Well, fuck all this waiting bullshit. Can we start making me some real money? I ain’t getting no bitches with these hand me down clothes and chump change in my pockets. This shit is wack as fuck.

I haven’t spoken to Cash or anyone in the last year. We all got side track. My little bro, Terrell, followed his dream in being a comedian. He did his first standup in his senior year of high school. From the looks of it, it went pretty good. Nessy is starting her fashion design store. I wonder where she got that money to start that. But her shit do look dope as fuck. She got designs for men and women. I actually would wear some of her shit. The last I heard of Cash was that he had a little girl and still running the streets. He graduated college when I left and went back to the hood. His moms got sick and needed to be taken care of.

Being here in LA has its perks. There are some real cool ass places to go. Especially their beaches. It is bikini heaven everywhere. Though I am getting homesick and need to be around people I know and actually give a fuck about my ass. The mixtapes are not cutting it and I need to get some inspiration back in my music again. So, I told RhinoS and he sent me home for about a week. I got to see everybody. My folks were happy to see me. Nessy gave me the store hookup if I make the radios one day. But, I didn’t get to see Cash. Nobody heard from him in a while.

“Word on the street is his mom passed away. He didn’t have a funeral for her either.” Terrell told me when were sitting in the living room.

“None of y’all reached out to him! What the fuck is wrong with y’all?” I shouted getting up from the couch.

“Woah there! Justin, we were here when you left! Cash stop fucking with us and so did you!” Nessy yelled back.

“Bro, he was slick torn when you left. So were we.” Terrell said leaning back.

“Fuck! My fault y’all. I’m sorry.” I said looking at them.

I didn’t think about that. I left my entire family and crew behind to go pursue a career that didn’t pop yet. Here I am, in my parent’s living room, yelling about Cash’s absence and it was my fault. I had to go check on him before I left. I grabbed my keys and coat, then head for the door.

“Where are you going at this time of night?” Terrell asked concerned.

“To go find Cash. That’s my nigga and I did him dirty.” I said walking around. “I got to make sure he good.”

“Ok. Be safe. Call us if you need anything.” Nessy said.

“Yeah.” I said walking out the door.

I drove around the city of Atlanta looking for Cash. I hit two of his favorite spots. The strip clubs and Centennial Park. He was nowhere near there. Then it hit me. It’s Saturday! That nigga is at Cascade right now! And sure enough, he was there outside smoking a blunt with some niggas. I don’t know why I felt nervous about seeing him. Two years seem like a short amount of time in LA, but here in Atl, it was a decade. I got some courage and opened my door. I walked out of the parking lot and yelled,

“Ayo! Cash Money!”

All of a sudden, a bunch of niggas around him started to move like they were in Call of Duty. I got nervous for a second and remembered that I was in the hood. I can’t just be screaming nigga’s names out without getting a strap pulled out on me. I started looking around as if I heard it too. I played it off like it was somebody out there in the streets. Then, I saw Cash. He was standing on the edge of the curb. He stood 6’2” with a stone cold face. Bald head with a beard. White shirt with a gold chain and necklace that had his moms initials. Black jean jacket with no sleeves exposing his tattoos. Black jeans with gold Tim’s on. My nigga was looking fresh out here. He must’ve came into some money.

“Yo, wassup Cash?” I said with a somewhat shaky voice.

“Justice, is that you bro? Fuck yo ass doin round here?” Cash said coldly.

“You know this nigga?” one of his wack ass niggas said. Of course he know me. Didn’t he just say my name. Swear niggas are stupid.

“Yo, you got time to kick for a bit?” I asked. “I don’t know. You think I can fit in your world?” Cash said.

“Man, you my nigga. I always got space for you.” I said trying to dap him up. He accepted it and told his crew he would catch up with them later.

We got in my car and headed to one of our chill locations. It’s a small hole in the wall building. We called it “CJ’s Sanctuary.” We used to come here everyday after school before going home. Shit we both lost our virginity to Loose Lips Lisa. Boy did she know how to suck a mean dick and throw it back. We always kicked it here and talked about everything. Our dreams and what we wanted out of life. I felt like it would be good to come back to something that would bring us to where we needed to be. I turned into the building and got out the car. I turned around and Cash was still in the car. I opened the door and said,

“Uh, you getting out the car?”

“Fuck we doin here?” Cash asked upset.

“Man, you remember this place. It’s our sanctuary. Come on. We ain’t seen each other in the last 2 years. We got to talk.” I said trying to get him out the car.

“Aite. Only cuz I found the place.” Cash said laughing.

“Fuck you. I found it first.” I laughed back.

We went in and sat at the wodden table by the open window. The moon was big as fuck from where we were sitting. I sparked up one of my blunts and started talking like old times. I’m glad Cash wasn’t mad at me for too long. If this nigga was to never speak to me again, I would be crushed and ruined. You can’t find too many loyal niggas like him.

Cash got quiet and looked out the window. I could tell he had a lot on his mind. I did want to know what was going on personally in his life. He talked about everything from his fucking bitches to selling weed and being a kingpin to getting a job as a bouncer in the clubs. But he didn’t mentioned anything about his personal life. So me being me, I had to ask.

“Aye, Cash, talk to me. What’s going on in that head of yours?” I asked. He turned to me and sighed.

“Nigga, if I tell you what keeps me up at night, then you wouldn’t sleep either.” Cash said.

“You my dawg. We here in the one area where all our problems are talked out. What’s up?”

“When you left...you just disappeared from my life. Like how could you just up and leave like that?” Cash asked in anger.

“Look man, I’m sorry. I saw an opportunity and went with it. I was thinking about myself and nobody else.” I said to him.

“Yea. You were selfish as fuck. I was alone over here. Yea yo bro and Nessy tried to hit me up, but they not you. Fuck you do me like that for?” Cash said getting up from the wooden table.

“Bruh, I swear if I knew what I knew now. I would’ve stayed and been here. I—“

“My moms died and you weren’t here! The only brother and friend I had was gone and so was my moms.” Cash said as his voice quivered.

I sat in silence as Cash looked out the window. He was truly hurt about my absence. I didn’t know he was hurting inside. I actually felt extremely bad for leaving him like that. He had absolutely nobody, so he did what he had to do. He went to the streets. Cash always told me that no matter where home is, the streets will always be his first home. It was truly my fault.

“Cash, I am so sorry I missed your mom’s funeral. I can’t even imagine how you are feeling right now.” I said standing up.

“Yea, it was a rough time for me. Though, my lil princess got to meet her grandma before she passed. Her name is Dakarai. It means happiness in Zimbabwe.” Cash said with some relief.

“That’s beautiful man. You actually did what we said we would do for our kids. Give them a name that has meaning.” I said. “And Nessy sent me a picture of her and she is beautiful. She has your eyes.”

“So you looking in my eyes now?” Cash asked sarcastically.

“What? Nah...I was just saying..”

“Well come over here and see if she has the same eyes as me.” Cash said with a straight face.

I didn’t know what to say, but I did walk over to him. He looked down to me since I was 5’8” and I looked into his eyes. I could actually see him for real this time. Something was weirdly brewing inside of me. I didn’t want to find out, but it looked like it was happening to Cash too. We both backed up from each other and looked in the opposite direction.

“Uh, it’s getting late. I got to go pick up my lil girl from her moms house. You mind dropping me off back at Cascade?” Cash asked grabbing his grinder from the table.

“Huh? Yea. I got you bro. Go ahead to the car. I’ll be there in a second.” I said still looking away.

“Cool.” Cash said walking away.

When Cash got down the stairs, I took in a deep breath and adjusted my pants. My dick was hard as fuck. I don’t know what came over me. I’m not into niggas. I fuck bitches. I mean Cash does look good tonight.....aht, no, stop that shit! What the fuck is wrong with me? Let me get this nigga to Cascade and then I can get the fuck up out of here.
We rode in the car with complete silence. It wasn’t hard to do because we for the first time had nothing to say. I pulled up to Cash’s car and before he got out, he said,

“Aye, nigga, I know you got to go back to LA soon. Don’t forget about me man. Or your fam down here. We all we got in this fucked up world. You got me?” Cash said putting his hand out to dap me up.

“Yea, I hear you nigga.” I said dapping him up.

“You know I got yo back.” Cash said as he closed the door.

I drove off and went home to pack. I called RhinoS and told him I’m ready to come back and get to work. There was some new material I wanted to work on. I told him that I think I got a hit song that might set the radios on fire. With that, RhinoS set up my plane ticket and I was back in LA in the next five hours. I dropped my first single Got Yo Backand it debuted as the number one song on the radios. People were listening and dancing to it all over. I knew that inspirational break would do me some good. Now, it’s time to see what the world got for me.