Rambling thoughts and other tidbits

Autobiographical Ramblings and shit.

I have written homo erotic as a hobby for a few years now. Even though I have over 20 stories posted here, if you read them, they are all basically one story. All based around the same theme with different locales and men involved. Although I can see where the progress and style of my writing has improved from the beginning, the plot line remains very intact.

Lately, I have been in a bit of writer’s block mode, and during the current crisis gripping the globe at this time, I have more free time than normal on my hands, yet getting a feel or a flow to capture a story line is a struggle right now.

I thought, you know what – I love meeting people. I like hearing people’s real stories and all our uniqueness that makes this giant rock we live on such a great place. And since we are all social distancing, it does not mean we still can’t be social and make new friends. Cyberlife wise any way.

The Real me revealed:

Although I portray myself as this huge mountain of muscle, rock solid DILF, sub centered play toy, in all reality, I am not. Sorry to say. Now in my mind that is exactly who I aspire to be and am training to be. Although I got a much later start in life. I will succeed in my mission and dream. All I have is time, I am mostly retired, work part time now. So my number one job and commitment is ME.

At points in my life I have been built with decent muscles, even buff, and fit, average, and even on the chunky side for brief periods. This past year and half I can honestly say I have rededicated myself to the life and lifestyle that will lead me closer to that wet dream muscle daddy in my head. And currently at 58 years old, I am pleased with how my progress is coming. I also enjoy to attention my transforming body is getting.

I am clear headed enough to know there will always be some one more muscled, better built, leaner body fat, younger older fitter hotter. My goal not to compete with others progress but work towards becoming the best ME that I can become for me. And while living in Ft Lauderdale, Wilton Manors in fact, it is easy to be constantly inspired to push harder, eat cleaner and go for your goals. There is muscle eye candy at every turn. Tank tops, muscle shirts and shorts, are standard ward robe year around. (flip flops too, hot damn a whole other avenue for me)

I am naturally more on the smooth side, can’t help that. And during this cave man Duck dynasty invasion of hair, I am left on the sidelines more often, around here esp. This town is bear haven. Who knew?

My sub side: has been an unfolding progression my entire life I guess. I always knew I am naturally inclined in the bottom role. But I never thought it meant I was “submissive”. It just meant I love cock and I am damn good at taking it. Both on my knees or with my legs thrown over your shoulders.

These past few years my sexual re-juvination, yea as horny now as I was in my youth, I pick up on subtleties about myself and am more self aware. In both what interests me as well as my partner.

And in my professional life I have always been in Sales / customer service-oriented type client relations. And little by little it dawned on me that even though no penis nor contact no sexual connection at all taking place, yet I still would get this gut fluttering reaction when in the presence of another man and I am aiding, assisting, “serving and servicing” if you will. With the right male presence, I would even notice I would be leaking tiny amounts of precum.

Freaky feeling at first. Perverted? Had this been the case all my life, is it new, or am I just making the connection and embracing what has been deep down all the time but hidden.

I cannot answer that. And truthfully, as I become more and more accustomed to the connection I don’t care where it came from or how, I have embraced it. And grown from it.

Since work is daily, and unfortunately I don’t have sexual contacts every day all day long, - damit- I am exposed to lots of male encounters in the field of work I am in. the field is not important. But the constant surrounding of male energy is.

Gradually I allowed myself to let my willingness to serve come front and center. Allow the natural energy that I posses to flourish, never in a sexual or overt way, not effeminate I don’t think, (don’t even go off on me about the masc for masc bullshit, I will be the first to admit, once at a pool party this very effeminate skinny twink probably weighed 130 lbs soaking wet, bent me over the lounge chair in front of the whole crowd of guests and proceeded to fuck me like a porn star for a good hour. He turned me out as his bitch the rest of the day, and evening. Still calls me up for a piece of ass when in town… so yea send me some fem fucker with a cocky attitude any day….)

My work improved tenfold, my customers commented, my boss loved the slow transition, my co workers were pissed at first, made me look too good. The only thing I honestly did was recognized that I did indeed enjoy the feeling of a job well done when the customer was satisfied and knew it was because I enjoyed helping and I am good at it.

A very close friend had told me about a year ago. “it is a privilege to serve.” It didn’t make sense at the time we were discussing my new path, but now. Yes, it does make since.

As I am typing this is sounds deep, but it sounds so simple. But either way the progression has opened my eyes in many ways. Now to blend my natural service role, with my passion to become a muscle head blend the two and allow them to be one at home with me, would be ideal. Mind blowing in fact.

And when I mean “serve” I am in no way referring to myself as a slave, a thing, something to be used abused or humiliated. I am a full-grown adult male. I have had a very successful career and life. I don’t “need” any one or anything, And I am damn sure not going to be forced into anything I do not mutually consent too. (get me horny, turn me on, consent suddenly covers many more topics.😊 )

My wheelhouse seems to be when I recognize some need or desire in a man, I am having connection with, be it professional as a service and I am in a position to facilitate to his liking and appreciation. It gives me pleasure to know I made his day a little less hectic, more enjoyable, more pleasant or what have you. And should he be a man that I look up to or respect out of power or position or and often just the way he carries and presents himself is the key, (confidence) and it could be something as simple as he is fucking hot and handsome. No clue, no idea what makes all this stuff tick or fall into place. It is all the new stuff I am learning and accepting.

Sexually, it is a wide open field, if we have a connection, the first kiss normally dictates that for me, my mind and body is an open book. I can damn sure bet if you turn me on somehow, it will be my mission and single focus to make sure every whim wish desire that you have or come up with is satisfied and then some.

WTF am I rambling about? To be honest I am not sure. It is nothing earth shattering but sort of freeing to release out there into the universe.

What kind of man do I feel a natural connection too? Honestly, I have no type and only a few requirements: I have dated four different men on long term 7-13 years from each other the following categories, they were all as physically different as they could be,

My types loosely translated:

Confidence is the sexiest thing to me. Know who you are, own it, embrace it and accept it. Arrogance, no thank you. A bit cocky when you got your cock hard and me in your sights, now that can be huge turn on, but it is a very fine line.

Age? No set limits, reverts back to rule #1. Maturity is more valuable than age.

Race? Yes please, I choose D: all of them. I was raised in a town that resembled a loaf of wonder bread, with the crust cut off. And I knew before I even knew what it was that I much preferred multi grain. Yummmmmy.

Shapes. The male anatomy is one of the finest works of art mother nature has ever created. And men come in every shape and size. Luckily, I find most shapes sexy, now veering into a Touchy – tricky – politically sensitive line dance here, the shape of round is not a shape my libido responds too. Please don’t trash me for that. I am just baring my soul. No harm intended.

I like them lean, skinny even.

I like athletic, week end warrior type dudes.

I like them thick and solid , padding is hot on a body that has some heft behind it. Grrrr.. think muscle bear with or with out the hair.

Swimmer, gymnast, acrobat- can you imagine having sex with an acrobat,, oh hell yes I will take two of them to go please…. Lol. (yea, monogamy is not a gene i was implanted with)

Gym rats are hot too, most guys think since I have this deep seeded muscle fetish I only look for other muscle. Not true. My muscle fetish is for me, I want the muscle on me for me for you to play with. In fact there is a small amount of narcissism in knowing I could be the muscle of the duo, the play toy just because I am have a body being built.

Don’t get me wrong, should some muscle daddy come around and give me a go, I would not deny him the pleasure of having his way with me, that would just be rude.

Hairy or smooth, I have never discriminated in regards to hair count or lack of. But I do enjoy manscaped pubes, trim it up some and at least give me a clear path in there to get my job done and done well.

My must have list mostly revolves around hygiene.

I do not do rank, stink, odors of any kind. Yea, cologne and deodorant is not for naked sex, but I want to start fresh, clean. Yesterday’s sweat and pheromones are stale and nasty to me, not hot and aphrodisiac like the ones we produce on the spot. Now how sweaty we get, now that is up to us and our chemistry. – connection not chemical. And good gawd, brush your teeth…. Ughh.. I am a snob about that. No apologies either. Damn.

And be a decent kind human being. Again, you got me on my knees and you decide to crank up some kinky maybe even rougher fun, there is a time and place for you to not be a boy scout, let the devil come out and play. And a man who knows the difference and enjoys the dynamics between having sex, making love and pure sport fucking are all unique to themselves and can or do not have to be combined at once. Yahtzee.

This has damn neared veered into a match . com profile. I did not intend that at the start, it is just where my meandering and rambling thoughts took my fingers on the keyboard.

I have always had the philosophy that life will not come grab you off the sofa and invite you out to enjoy it. And if one never puts out into the universe what they wish for, how in the hell does the universe know. So I guess I, in fact just put it out there and got off of my own couch.

It would be great to hear from others. In these unique times were face today, there can be no harm in creating new bonds and connections. This planet we live on is small, and full of possibilities.

Reply, correspond, say hello, tell your own story or even tell me to back the fuck up, I take no offense to either.

But while I am at it, should some man like to discuss taking a man as myself on a journey to mutually grow my body into our own play toy , I am all ears.

Enjoy guys. Stay safe, Stay well, hopefully we will come through this in one piece, and all for the better in some cosmic way.

Joe