Perks of the Job

I faintly registered the beeps and echoing voices around me as I sat in an uncomfortable chair in the lobby of the massive hospital complex they’d brought Mr. Hill to. I’d managed to put on normal clothes before being taken here, but the room around me was still quite cold as I wrapped myself up in my coat, huddled on a couch, staring off into space. It had only been a few hours after he’d collapsed, but I hadn’t heard anything from a doctor or nurse. Most of them brushed me off after they realized I wasn’t a family member, but I still waited around for any updates.

I was so spaced out that I didn’t notice the man behind me until I felt a gentle hand reach out to my shoulder and I was shaken out of my trance.

“Excuse me, are you with Benjamin Hill,” a deep voice asked, and I turned to see a very intimidating man. He wore light blue scrubs that did little to soften his image as he was easily six foot six, with bulging, muscular arms decorated with a number of fine black tattoos.

“Uh, yes, I am,” I replied, “Is everything okay? No one will tell me anything.”

He must have sensed my anxiety, as the next thing I knew he was sitting down on the couch with me, causing the whole cushion to sink down with his huge frame. Looking up at him, I noticed the small smile on his face as his eyes traveled over me before he spoke again.

“Ah, you must be Jesse, I take it?” he asked, a bit of amusement edging into the question.

“Yeah, that’s me…” I replied, my voice trailing off in slight confusion as I hadn’t been able to tell anyone my name since I’d arrived at the hospital.

“Sorry, it’s just that he kept repeating your name when he got here. And I must say, he is quite lucky that you were nearby to call 911, most stroke victims don’t get here as fast as they should.”

A stroke? 

I didn’t really know a lot about strokes, but I knew they weren’t good at the very least and I could feel the dread and anxiety creep back in once more.

“I don’t understand. Is he going to be alright…Steve,” I asked, glancing down at his name tag.

“Well, the good news is that he had a mini stroke, and is currently awake and seems to be back to normal. He’s talking and answering our questions so we can figure out what to do from here. The bad news is that this puts him at a high risk of a stroke in the near future, so we’re doing our best to come up with a prevention strategy for him. He mentioned you all were from out of town though, right?”

“Yeah, we were here for a work trip.”

“He should be okay to travel, although I might suggest driving home instead of flying just to be extra careful. Once you are both back home you should make sure he sees a doctor as soon as possible so you all can work out a better prevention plan from the comfort of your home.”

I felt lost and all I could do was respond in a whisper, “Okay. Thank you.”

“Hey. Look at me.” Steve said, and I glanced up to meet his kind eyes. “He’s going to be okay, really. But for the love of God, go be with him now. It’s clear you both need each other right now.”

I reached up and wiped away the tears that now flowed down my face before responding, “I already tried. They said I couldn’t go in cause I wasn’t family.”

Steve glanced around for a second before standing and helping me up as well.

“Just follow me. No one will question you, okay, Jesse?”

I nodded and followed him out of the hospital lobby. As we walked, I noticed that the rest of the building was just as stark and sterile as the lobby, with the entire place seeming to suck the warmth right out of me. We got on an elevator and I watched as Steve pushed one of the numbers and I spoke up before I could think better of it.

“Why are you helping me?”

Steve turned towards me, glancing down with a sad smile on his face that his bushy beard couldn’t hide.

“When my boyfriend got in a bad accident, they tried to do the same thing to me. Tried to keep me away from him. His parents had been called in and didn’t approve of our relationship, so they’d told the nurses not to let me in even though he was in critical condition. It was one of the toughest things I’ve ever had to go through, not knowing if he was going to be okay and wondering if I’d ever even get to see him again.” His smile grew wider as he went on. “But, now that he’s my husband, I don’t have to worry about that anymore, and I made a promise to myself once I started this job that I wouldn’t let someone else go through that if I could help it. It’s sad that I’ve had to help out more people than I thought I would, even with all the progress we’ve made over the last few years, but me and a handful of the other nurses are on the same page when it comes to bending hospital policy.”

“Oh…well, thank you. I’m glad there’s someone looking out for us.”

He gave me a small wink, “Don’t mention it.”

A few moments later we arrived in the recovery ward and he stopped in front of one of the doors. “Here he is, Jesse. My friend just started her shift on this floor and I’ll let her know what’s going on, so you’ve got a few hours to be with him. Good luck.” And with that, he left me alone to see Mr. Hill. I figured I shouldn’t waste any time and if I’m being honest, I really just wanted to see him again.

I knocked on the door for a second before slipping inside the small hospital room. The lights were dimmed, but it’s not like there was much décor for them to illuminate anyways. The walls were painted a pale, almost imperceptible blue and a tv hanging from the wall played some sitcom reruns, but all of these little details faded away when I saw the man lying in bed before me. I guess I was expecting tubes or wiring to be swarming around him, but I gave a sigh of relief as I saw his handsome face swivel towards me. However, my excitement dimmed a bit after noticing how tired and defeated he looked. His face seemed more sunken in and he lacked his trademark smirk that I’d come to loathe and love in equal measure. We stared at each other for a prolonged moment before I broke the stillness.

“Hi.”

“Hi, Jesse.” He said in a weak whisper. The deep and sexy rumble gone from his voice.

“How are you feeling?” I asked, not sure exactly what else to say.

“Honestly, I’ve been better,” he said with a slight chuckle before that hint of warmth left him once more. We stared at each other for a few moments, the oppressive silence coming down around us and I couldn’t take it anymore. I was about to speak up again once more when Mr. Hill weakly raised his hand for me to stop.

“Wait. Please.” He said, closing his eyes and sinking into the pillows stacked behind him, letting out a long sigh before turning his head back to me.

“I need to apologize, Jesse. For everything. These last few weeks have meant a lot more to me than I think you realize and it is time I be completely honest with you,” he said, a slight quiver coming into his voice, now heavy with emotion. “After my wife passed, I didn’t think I would ever be happy again. I’d tried desperately to just feel something. I filled the void with casual sex, fancy clothes, a ridiculous car, but I couldn’t bring myself to feel anything beyond a fake level of contentment. She meant the world to me. And to Sean. We both knew we had to get out of that old house, there was just too much of her all around. We were miserable. So, I moved closer to the city. And that’s where I finally found something worth living for again,” he said, tears gently pooling in his eyes.

“He accidently walked into my library one night, a place I never really invited anyone to before and it felt like he belonged there with me. I felt a spark light up inside me and I let it flicker out of control. I took advantage of a naïve, but oh so adorable boy and fucked with his head and heart, knowing that I wanted to be with him more, but afraid of going further than a meaningless fling. I wanted to keep him close, afraid that I’d lose him, so I let him work with me, all while keeping those walls up still, scared that if he got too close, I’d ruin everything and be all alone again. “

At this point, I walked closer to the edge of the bed, wiping away some of my own tears. He reached out his hand, holding on to mine so tightly as he continued.

“And then, after weeks of this two-sided torture, that boy had the courage to be honest with himself and say the words I was afraid to. But instead of screaming to the world how much I loved him too, I did the most cowardly thing I could and hid behind those walls again. But, now that he’s standing right beside me,” he said, giving my hand an even tighter squeeze, “I’m hoping it isn’t too late to tell him how much I love him too.”

I gathered myself for a moment and took in the man before me. His brilliant eyes shining through the tears, his handsome, rugged jawline that I wanted so desperately to run my fingers up and down forever, and the stubble and mustache that was ever present above the lips I’d dreamt of kissing for so long.

“For us, it could never be too late,” and I leaned down and made my dream a reality as I kissed the man I loved.

Despite the out of place, cold wetness from both of our tears, the second our lips met I forgot about everything else. All I could feel was the heat of his lips on me, the scratch of his facial hair creating glorious friction with my own, and the overwhelming feeling of rightness that washed over me. I’m not sure how long the two of us sat there locked in our embrace, but eventually we separated and I now found myself sitting on the edge of the uncomfortable hospital bed.

“Mr. Hill, this might sound a bit odd, but I’d really like to just lay here with you, if you’ll have me.”

His dumb grin turned into a beaming smile as he gingerly scooted over a bit to make room for me. “Of course, Jesse. And from now on, please, call me Benjamin. I’ve missed hearing someone I love call me that,” he said as I sank into the bed next to him, before wrapping his meaty arms around me and pulling me close. It was a bit awkward at first, but I relished every touch and caress as Benjamin ran his hand up and down my arm as we settled in together, me curling in next to him and nestling my face into his thick arms. And, I know, it probably wasn’t the best time, but I found myself growing hard as I inhaled his manly scent.

Trying my best to be as subtle as possible, I gently rubbed my nose across his armpit, partially exposed in his hospital gown. I recall that neither of us had had a shower in over a day as I closed my eyes and breathed in his sweaty, musky scent, careful not to tickle myself on the tantalizing hair that I found there. I must have forgotten myself for a moment as the next thing I knew I heard Benjamin clearing his throat and lightly chuckling.

“Jesse, not that I don’t love knowing how eager you are,” he said, pressing his thigh gently against my hard cock that I now realized was clearly poking him in the side. “But I would really like for our first real time to not be in a shitty hospital or hotel room.” He leaned over and gave a gentle kiss to my forehead before adding. “I promise, when we get back home, I’ll make it up to you, deal?”

“It’s a date,” I said, smiling to myself as I nestled in close to him again, content to enjoy the next few hours just being close to him, not worrying about what tomorrow might hold.