Part-time Romance

Author’s Note: It’s been a rough week. I’m exhausted and in all honesty, I’m putting off an essay I have to write. This isn’t exactly a feel-good story, but it felt pretty good to write it. I don’t understand the obsession with wanting to make characters feel miserable, but this story is drawn from a personal experience. Don’t worry, I got my happy ending, and if you haven’t found yours already, I know it will come to you when you least expect it. I hope you enjoy!

Kyler was my favorite coworker. Sure, we never had anything real, but he was the only reason I looked forward to coming to work. He had blonde, wavy hair and piercing green eyes. He was beautiful, and I swear his smile could light up a room. He was tall, a little lanky, but I knew he was hiding some pretty tight muscles under his loose work shirt. On the nights when we were alone, we would close up early, head out to his truck, and make out. It never lasted long because we knew we would have to return to our regular lives and leave our part-time romance at our part-time job. Other than those nights, it was nothing more than stolen glances here and there, standing a little too close together when we were making sandwiches, and more inside jokes and than I could possibly remember. I guess, for just a few hours every week, he made me feel special.

We worked at a small deli where all professionalism left the minute the customer walked out the door. Our manager was either stoned or getting stoned out behind the building on one of his many “breaks.” When we weren’t making sandwiches or slicing meat, we were on our phones, studying, or otherwise fucking around. One week, the manager stopped showing up, and it was a few days before the owner came in to tell us he eloped with his high school sweetheart and didn’t let anyone know till he had up and moved to Costa Rica. Great for him, but shitty for me. Who would the new manager be? Would I actually have to work for once? But, the owner decided she should promote from within, and chose Kyler for his “outstanding service and work ethic.” Wow. The bar was a lot lower than I thought… I was so excited! Would I be getting any special treatment from the new manager? I signed up for as many closing shifts as I could, fantasizing about those brief moments in his truck.

I was wrong. The job went straight to his head and Kyler was nearly insufferable. The next few weeks were a hell where, if we weren’t kissing the ass of every person who walked through the door, we were scrubbing and deep cleaning everything. “If you have time for leaning, you have time for cleaning,” Kyler would bark at us. Where was this philosophy a few months ago when we spent our whole shift sitting on the floor watching Netflix?

One morning, I think he finally snapped. I walked in a few minutes late. “Where the fuck were you?” He screamed at me. “Chill out. I had to head back to my place to grab my insulin so I don’t fucking die.” Not a minute into my shift and I was already pissed off. “Sure. And do they sell insulin at the coffee shop you went to?” He pointed at the cup I was holding. “Dude, this is from yesterday. I’m reusing the cup because I care about the environment. You want me to stop caring about the environment and die?” I went to make the online orders that were piling up. “Maybe you should care less about that and more about your job.” I rolled my eyes. “You know, I could sue for medical discrimination. You better hope I don’t go into shock. I could sue this shop for enough money to put it out of business.” I was feeling like I was getting on a horse even higher than Kyler’s. “Wash your fucking hands before you make those sandwiches. That’s fucking preschool skills there.” I was over it. “What the fuck is up your ass?”

The rest of the shift, of course, was miserable. We didn’t even look at each other, and it felt like weeks before it was time to close. I kept trying to convince myself I didn’t care, but I couldn’t stop thinking about the times we had together. Feeling his body against mine, running my hands up and down his back, and feeling the touch of his lips… Even if I wanted something more, the opportunity was gone.

 I was just about done cleaning when he came up behind me and put his hand on my shoulder. Instinctively, I reached up to shove him off, but when I set my hand on his, I felt myself shiver, and I kept it there. I squeezed his hand a little tighter. He pushed his body closer to mine and laid his head on my shoulder. Even over the smell of cold cuts and fresh-baked bread, I could smell him. I took in the musk I missed smelling so badly and felt myself starting to get emotional. Fuck this guy. Where does he get off doing this to me? After weeks of ignoring me and making me feel like shit? He spoke softly. “Hey. I’m sorry about this morning… Do you wanna come to talk in my truck? I really miss talking to you.” Seriously! Fuck this guy. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream, but deep down, I wanted to go with him. I nodded, and he went back to the office to shut off the lights. “Let’s go.” He smiled at me. God, I missed seeing that smile.

We got into the back seat of his truck, and I looked around. I missed the inside of his truck. How it smelled, the garbage on the floor, and his dirty gym clothes in the back. He started to talk. “I think this job has been really rough on me, and last night my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. We’re over. Three years down the drain.” Three years? Three fucking years? I felt like shit. What was I to him? Some side piece? Did he even feel anything for me? I wanted to find some joy in his misery, but I looked at his eyes. They looked dull, and I saw them start to fill with tears. I put my hand on his leg and leaned in. I didn’t even realize that I went in to kiss him until I felt his lips pressed against mine. He immediately started kissing me back, and things got heavy pretty quick. The only time we stopped making out was to take our shirts off, and feeling his skin against mine nearly sent me over the edge. I started kissing his neck and kissed my way down his chest. I moved my hands to undo his belt and slowly started to pull his pants off. He put his hand on my head, and I moved even lower.

It was the first time I had ever seen his dick, and I barely got a glance before I wrapped my mouth around it. This felt different than any time I had ever given a blowjob. I was turned on, but there was somehow a deeper connection too. I was really enjoying myself, and Kyler was moaning louder and louder by the minute. I think we both wanted more. I started to move my hand down and stuck my finger in his hole. He let out a gasp, but I could feel him slowly start to relax. He was breathing heavy, but I wanted to savor every bit of this moment. I didn’t know when I would be this close to him again.

I moved my other hand down his legs and then I got to his pants. There was something in his pocket, and for some reason, I reached for it and pulled it out. Ha! It was his wallet. I opened it and felt a thick wad of cash inside. Well, at least I knew where all my fucking tips were going. I pulled out the cash and slipped it into my own pocket. I took his wallet and stashed it under the seat. That’s what he gets for treating me the way he did. I was so angry, but it’s hard to be mad when you’re in the middle of sucking the dick of some guy you might love. I moved my hand back up and started to jack him off. I heard him start to moan louder and breathe faster. I barely had time to think before he came into my mouth. I swallowed every last bit while he sighed. “Fuck. God. I needed that. Oh god.” 

I hate him. I love him. I sat back up and moved in close. We started kissing again until his phone started buzzing. He picked it up. “Oh. Shit. It’s my girlfriend.” After getting blown by his coworker, he didn’t even have the respect to call her HIS EX? I felt a lump in my throat. Was I really going to cry over this? He ignored the call. “Hey. Let me take you home, alright?” It was a nice night for walking, and I could use some time to decompress, but I said yes anyway. We drove in silence, and I had to use every ounce of will power not to cry. He pulled up to my apartment.

“Hey uh… thanks for tonight.” He smiled at me. I worked up the courage to move past the lump in my throat and asked, “Do you maybe want to spend the night? I mean, you could sleep on the couch, but, if you really want to be with someone right now I can-” He cut me off, “Listen. You’re a really good friend, but Sarah is really special to me, and I want to see if I can patch things up. Whatever you think we might have… I don’t think I feel the same way. I don’t even think I like guys, you know?” He put his hand on my leg, and this time I pushed it right off. “Fine. What the fuck ever. Go back to your girlfriend. I don’t know how special she can be when you’re getting sucked off by someone else.” I could see him getting angry, and all I wanted to do was hurt him. I got out of his truck and lost it. “You know, for how much you loved getting fingered, you’d think you would like that stick that’s so far up your ass.” I slammed the door and stormed away. I reached into my pocket for my keys and felt the cash I had taken out of his wallet. I pulled it out and looked at it. Holy fuck. There were a couple $100 dollar bills in there, some fifties, and quite a few twenties.

This definitely wasn’t the kind of extra shift I wanted to pick up, but I still felt pretty good about it. I figure for someone who doesn’t mind sharing the “love” when he’s in a committed relationship, he shouldn’t mind sharing this kind of love either.