AUTHORS NOTE: This is my first time writing gay fiction so it ain't perfect. Anyway, leave comments or e-mail me with comments or suggestions. I'd like to hear from everybody. Thanks


I sat in my Dodge truck preparing myself for what lay ahead. I watched everybody getting out of their cars and walking into the school. They looked happy, like they didn't have a care in the world. I used to be that way, always happy, even at school. That all changed two weeks ago, though.

I glanced at my watch and saw it was 7:50. Time to go in. I climbed out and reached into the second seat for my backpack. I closed both doors and locked them. As I shouldered my bag I looked at the sickening yellow paint backed by the glossy candy apple red of my truck. Sometime last night someone snuck into my driveway and spray painted big block letters all down the side of the truck. They spelled out FAGGOT. When my dad saw it he just took me into a big hug and told me he'd get it fixed. My dad. If it wasn't for him I wouldn't be able to get up in the morning. In fact, I'd probably be dead by now.

My thoughts were interrupted by a loud screech of tires. I looked towards the entrance of the parking lot only to see a black Chevy tear into the lot. It was Dale Cole's truck. When it got to where I was parked it slowed down and the passenger side window came down. Chip Perry stuck his head out and yelled, 'Good morning, cocksucker!'. Then both he and Dale burst out with obnoxious laughter. I hung my head and started walking towards the entrance. Both of them were on the football team and both of them used to be my friend.

I walked into the hallway of Cedar Slopes High only to be met with brief stares and smirks. I just blocked them out and kept on walking to my locker. Suddenly, someone grabbed me from behind.

'How's it goin' handsome?', my friend Chelsey said wearing a goofy grin. I couldn't help but smile. During these past two weeks while everyone else was leaving me and cussing me out as they went, she was one of the few that stayed and she always knew just how to cheer me up.

'Ah, I've seen better.', I replied leaving what happened to my truck for another conversation.

She smiled, then opened her mouth to speak when she looked past me. She closed her mouth and her face darkened into one of the most hateful looks I've ever seen her give. I turned to see what she was looking at. And there stood Aiden Keller at his locker looking at us.

Aiden was the school's golden boy. Star lacrosse player and hotshot pitcher for the baseball team. He also used to be my best friend in the world, until he betrayed that and sold me out.

I contorted my face to match Chelsey's look. He just glared at us then turned to get his books just as the early warning bell sounded. I grabbed Chelsey's arm to follow me, but she didn't budge.

'Come on Chels, we're gonna be late for class.', I said, almost pleadingly. Finally she moved and walked with me. After we were past him Chelsey started talking.

'I hate him, Ryan. Goddamnit, I hate him.'

'I know, but if you do anything it'll only make things worse.', I said, never turning to look at her.

'I know.', she said after slowly exhaling.

We continued the rest of our walk in silence before we had to part ways.

'So I'll see you in you lunch?', I asked her.

'You know it.', she returned with that silly smile as she walked off.

I journeyed the rest of the way to 1st period Literature alone and without incident. I walked in and nodded to the teacher, Mrs. Roberts, and took my usual seat towards the back. More and more people came filing in until the bell rang and everybody took their seats.

After Mrs. Roberts took attendance she got up in front of the class.

'Alright, everyone, today we will start reading Paradise Lost by John Milton. But, before we do we will learn a bit about Milton himself as well as.....'

I toned her out as I thought about the title. Paradise Lost. What an apt name for what my life has become. I started thinking about what had already happened and what could happen in the future. The tears started to well up as my pity party got into full swing, but I quickly remembered where I was so I choked back the tears and the memories. I stared down at the book rubbing my eyes to dry the tears that had already fallen, but I did it in a way to make it looked like I was just sleepy. I even threw in a feigned yawn for added effect. I looked around to see which page we had gotten to and I caught back up with the lecture.

As I was taking notes, a knock came at the door. Mrs. Roberts stopped the lecture and went to answer it. When she opened the door, the most beautiful guy stepped in with a folder that he quickly handed the teacher. He stood there with his hands in his pockets while she read the contents. I noticed his light brown hair was short, but spiked up in front and how his skin wasn't too tan, but wasn't pale either. I also noticed that he was definitely packing some definition under his shirt.

When she was finished reading, she smiled at him before turning to the class.

'Everyone, I'd like you to welcome Sam Cabot. He just transferred here from James Hargrove High School in Portland.'

This was met with a few 'heys' and 'what's ups', as well as some giggling and hushed whispers from the girls in the class.

I just nodded and returned to catching up with notes until Mrs. Roberts spoke.

'Go over and take the seat beside Ryan.', she said to Sam before pointing me out. When she said it, I jerked my head up to look towards her and everyone in the room fell silent as they watched him make his way back to where I was sitting. As he got closer I noticed the color of his eyes. God they were beautiful. They were this light caramel brown color that I had never seen before. I figured they were cosmetic contacts because there was no way someone could have eyes like that.

'Hey Ryan. How's it goin'?', he asked as he set down beside me.

'I...It's g...good. And you?', I replied, blushing over my trip up. He must've found this funny because he was wearing a huge smile.

'This is my first day at a new school with complete strangers. How do you think I am?', he answered as he laughed. I tried to laugh along with him, but my heart wasn't in it so I just smiled really big.

He was about to say something else when the teacher called for attention back on the lecture. I looked over at Sam and saw that he didn't have a book.

'Sam,', I whispered across the row.

He turned to me with a smile.

'Here's my notes, you can copy 'em'

'Thanks', he said as he took the notebook and began copying.

After about five minutes he handed it back to me.

'Thanks again', he said, again with the same smile.

'No problem', I replied.

A little while after that, the bell rang and everyone started towards the door, except Sam.

'You comin'?', I asked as I stood up.

'Yeah, I gotta see the teacher about a book, first.'

'Oh, okay, well I'll see you around.', I said with a smile.

'Yeah, see ya.', he responded with that same big smile.

As I was heading for the door, I saw that I was gonna make it there at the same time as Will Huxley, one of Aiden's friends and one of my new enemies. Before he got to the door, though, he stopped and just smirked at me before turning around like he was going to talk to the teacher. I walked on out into the hall before realizing that I should have offered to show Sam where his classes were at. I turned around and headed back into the room. That's when I saw it. Will was standing there talking to Sam and he was loud enough to where I could hear it from the door.

'I was just letting you know that the dude you was talking to earlier is a fucking faggot. Being new and all you don't wanna be known for hanging around a faggot, do you?'

I felt the heat rush to my face as Sam looked up and made eye contact with me. His eyes didn't show any emotion. They weren't laughing like they were earlier. I tried to read what he was thinking, but I couldn't, so I just clenched my jaw and headed to my next class.




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