Pablo

I am an older man. I am here alone. For years I was married. I went no where alone. Certainly, never to a Caribbean beach. Never to sit on the beach. Never, as it seems I am doing, simply to enjoy the view. The blue sea. The blue sky. The boats. The colors. The people. And a nude beach. Well once, when we were on our honeymoon. But that was with a first wife. Divorced. Not since then. Not with the wife that is not with me. A nude beach. Families. Women. Men. Girls. Boys.

Can I stop gazing at one person in particular? I think maybe 18. Pablo.

I overheard his name being called. By his mother? Probably. A very good-looking woman to be sure. It seems it is just the two of them here. Pablo. His mother. Staying at the same hotel. Here on the same beach. Also, nude. Did I say I was nude. She is named Adele. Or Mom.

Of course, I like to look at Adele. Maybe 50. Good shape. Nice breasts. Large. Sagging just enough. A tight ass. Shaved pubic area. Blonde hair. Real or not? Not an issue. All over tan. I like her tits. Nice face.

But it is Pablo. Maybe 18. Maybe 5’ 6” Thin. But… why I am writing this? Why? Because I have a desire for this boy. He has a face like an angel. His ass. Sweet. His cock. I have only seen it at rest – decent size. He, too, is shaved. I like that. I am too.

I have never been with anyone so young, except once in school. Why did I not understand what that was telling me? The same message I am getting from Pablo. Though I do not know if he knows he is sending it to me. Maybe you have gotten that message. Maybe you are an older man on a beach, maybe nude, probably not, looking a young man, and getting that message. Or am I trying to send a message. Is it, “I want to know you.”?

I think it is.

So, what is next?

Of course, I can just sit back. Look. I have been doing that for two days. How long will he be here? I am here another five days. Until I had to go back and get to work settling the estate. I am a widower now. And I had to get away from anything like I was used to. To what I discovered was a hotel with a clothing optional (more like clothing banned) private beach and pool. And when I got here, did I really think I would…? It does not matter what I thought. It is what I think now.

So, how many days? How do you get to know people on a beach like this? I have watched and not seen much interaction among the people on the beach. Some in the dining room. For today, it will be sit where I am, in the shadow of a big beach umbrella, in my beach chair, nude, relaxing, catching as many looks as I can, reading – is a trip to swim in order later. A trip that could take me closer to Pablo and his mother? We shall see.

And what did I know when I picked out as one of the books to bring a volume of Thomas Mann including Death in Venice? And John Rechy’s City of the Night? Nothing when I chose them back in Connecticut. Somehow appropriate here on St. Martin.

Pablo.

So, Bob, just do not sit here. Bob, even though you do not know… you do. You have known for a long time that you were homosexual. All that porn, all those clandestine hook ups, all those cock in your mouth and ass. You know. You just do not know how… other than in a clandestine way how to meet. You know what you want when you meet. So… make it up. But the dangers of making a mistake? Real. The approach. Make yourself available. And Pablo? You always have his mother as a foil. No wedding ring. You could be interested in her. So go for it.

Now.

You’re not the only man on the beach. Not the only man whose cock might just be responding to what they see. This is a nude beach. And there is beauty and sexiness here. So, Bob, be unafraid that your cock… well… not focus on it. Though we men all know our cocks have their own mind? Banal but true.

So up I get. A towel on my shoulder. I walk across the beach. To the water. Just past Adele and Pablo. Pablo. Adele is on her back, legs slightly spread. Glowing. Beautiful. Pablo is sitting up next to her. Glowing. So much hotter close- up. He smiles at me. I smile back. Does his smile get brighter? I think it does.

He says, “Hello.”

“Hello.”

“Going for a swim?”

“I am. I think it a good time to cool off.”

I do not look down, but I know from what I feel that it is a good time to cool off.

“It is. May I join you?”

“Of course.”

He gets up. His cock is, well, it is time for time for him to cool off.

“Mother, I am going for a swim.”

She opens her eyes. Looks up. At Pablo. Then at me. “O.K. Honey.” She licks her lips and smiles. “Enjoy.”

I look at here. “Hello, I am, Bob.”

“Adele. My son Pablo. Pleased to meet you.”

“The same.”

“Where are you from, Bob?”

How long will this chat go on? I suppose as long as it needs to.” Pablo and I are standing. Adele is still lying down on here back. She opens her legs a bit more.

“Connecticut. You?”

“Where in Connecticut? We’re from Glastonbury?”

“West Hartford.”

“Neighbors.” She smiles. Maybe we can meet again at home.”

“Yes, though not like this?”

“You mean nude?”

“Well, yes.”

“Bob, who knows. Well let’s talk more. I think you boys want to get a swim.”

“O.K. Adele.”

Pablo says, “Let’s go.”

We do. How much I want to touch this boy. Did I sense we wanted to be touched?

It was not a long walk to the water, but long enough to enjoy the sight of this boy. To see his muscles in legs and ass move. To get glimpses of his cock swinging. To catch his eye as he looked back at me.

We splashed into the water. The beach angled down so that we were soon up our waists. Maybe 50 yards in. He stopped. I stopped next to him.

“Bob, let’s stop here after a quick dip in the water to get wet. Or should we go out to where the water is a bit deeper?”

“Pablo. Maybe deeper. Lead on.”

He did. It gradually got deeper. Now mid-way up his chest. The line of the water left what was above a classical bust of a beautiful boy. It drew my attention to his sweet looks, his incredible eyes, sensuous mouth, alluring smile. I knew my cock was in full erection. How could, why would have tried to stop it? And all with my touching it. It had been a long time since that kind of erection. Was the water clear enough for it to be seen by Pablo? He was two steps ahead of me. I wondered, his cock? Too much to hope for.

When the water was up to his shoulders, he stopped, turn around.

“Here. O.K.?”

“Yes.”

He dropped into the water. I did the same. To get wet. I opened my eyes. I looked into his. He smiled. I smiled. I looked. His cock was so close. So hard. He moved closer. Our cocks touched. Briefly. He pushed gently away. We rose up. He was laughing. Was I embarrassed by what had happened? Yes. No.

He smiled, said, “Hope that was not a problem?”

“What?”

“Well. I did not mean to touch your cock?”

“It happened. We are nude.”

“Yeah, but…”

I decided to risk this, “And you are a handsome young man.”

“You think so?”

“Pablo, yes.”

“And isn’t this a beautiful place. I love the water here.” He was changing the subject. And he was changing his position. From standing in front of me and looking at me to standing next to me. Close enough to touch.

But we didn’t.

Pablo was a self-confident young man.

“You like my mom?”

“Well,… “ was a stumbling to answer?

“It is O.K. if you do. I know men find here attractive.”

“She is. But looks are not the whole package.”

“A gallant response, Bob.”

“Thank you. But…”

“But?”

“She is not interested in men. We are down here to meet her partner, Sheila. She will be here later today to be with Mom for the next five days.”

“Is that awkward in any way? I hope you do not mind my asking?”

“No. Mom is a lesbian. That is O.K. with me. She divorced my dad 15 years O.K. to live as a gay woman, so that is all I know.”

“Thank for telling me. And yes, while your mom is an attractive woman. That is, right now, not my interest. I came down here to get away. I have a sad task to do when I get back to Connecticut.”

“Sorry. You do?” Was he getting closer to me?

“Yes. To start the settlement to my late wife’s estate. She died two months ago.”

“Damn. I am sorry.”

“Thank you. But, at the end we are good together but not that close. I miss her. But…”

“Yes?”

“I need to move on.”

He put his arm around me. Drew me close. Kind of a hug.

“Do you mind?”

“No Pablo. Thank you.”

“Want to go back in?”

“No. It is nice out here. I like this.”

“Me, too.” He dropped his arm and stayed next to me. Hips touching.

“Bob, may I ask a very personal question?”

“O.K.”

“What does good but not close mean?”

“Well, I am not sure that is your business?”

“O.K.”

But I felt like answering. So, I did.

‘We got along. But we had not had a physical relationship for years.”

“That must have been frustrating?”

“It was. Quite frankly, I loved sex.”

“O.K. Another borderline question, if that is allowed.”

“Sure.” Sure, what was I thinking. Should I go back in. Was aroused? I damn well was. I could not not answer this boy’s questions, questions no one I knew at home would have asked, and the answers – even if said only to him and to myself, hell – these were part of this process of moving on.

“Were you faithful?”

“Shit, that is a cheeky question. Well, yes. No other women. No mistresses. No escorts. No one-night stands on business trips.”

“O. K. No women. But…”

“But?”

“Men.”

Should I answer? No. But I wanted to. I did.

“Yes.”

“Yes? That is hot.”

This was spooking me a little. This was not quite what I had expected. Not a “chase” to be unsatisfied and unfulfilled. Pablo. It was safe to say he was coming on to me. Leading me. Should I follow that lead. Go where we wanted to go? I ought at least to try? Sure.

“Yes, other men.”

“How long?”

“Ten years only men.”

“Cool.”

“Why do you want to know? Are you put off?”

“No. I am not.”

Then.

His hand on my cock. Under the water. Stroking.

“Pablo?”

“Yes.”

“What are you…?”

“Doing?’

“Stroking you cock, Bob.”

Said in such a matter-of-fact way.

And in just the same way, “Bob, I like cock.”

My response. To reach out to touch his ass. Fuck. I was doing this.

“I like that, Bob. Thank you. Don’t worry, I’m 18 and I am gay, and you like me doing this. Though, maybe not out. Am I right?”

“Pablo. Yes. Yes.”

He stroked, squeezed. How much would I do? More than touch is ass. I wanted to touch his cock. I ducked down in the water, just long enough to take his hard cock in my mouth, ever so briefly. I stood up. Shaking with desire. In front of this boy, this angel, this vision. I was standing there with his cock in my hand. His hand back on mine. It felt O.K. He knew about me. I knew about him. But…

“Bob. I want to kiss you.”

“I want you.”

“But we can’t here. And,we have to let our cocks relax. I’ll head in first. When you come in, stop by.”

“O. K.”

“And, Bob. This is more than O.K. Thank you for being so honest. You are a good-looking man. I had lust in my heart the first time I saw you.

He turned to swim in. I faced the sea, masturbating, wanting to, having to release my seed. The only way to relieve the pressure, the desire. It was incredible to me to there – in the water, nude, pounding my cock until it exploded sending streams of jism in the water, streams I had to try to capture, to taste it. I was shaking. What the Fuck! What had I gotten into? Was this insane?

I knew it was.

I swam back. Then walked out of the sea dripping. I had left my towel with Adele and Pablo. Dripping. My cock not hard. But starting to feel the thrill. Not from seeing Adele’s tits and cunt. No, from seeing Pablo. Now on his front, looking back at me a smiling. His ass so hot.

“Hi, Bob. You left your towel here.”

“I did.”

I squatted down. Too close to Pablo. Yes. But damn, I had done it. He looked at my cock, touched the tip of his tongue to his lips. Smiled. I smiled back.

It was Adele who next spoke, “Bob, will you join us here? Can we get some drinks?

“Adele, I will, and I will get them.”

“Wonderful. It will be fun to get to know you. From Connecticut. Oh, I am sorry about your loss.”

“Thank you, Adele. But being here is a relief for me. Funny that way. But she told me that life must go on. She was right.”

“Bob, you must feel a gap.”

“Adele, I do. But gaps get filled. Yes, in many different ways.”

“Yes, Bob. Surprising ways. Holes filled.”

“Bob,” said Pablo, “I hope, we, I hope I can help.”

“You already are. You already are.”

I smiled. “We shall see. Now to get those drinks. Your orders?”

“A cold Corona. Pablo?”

“The same.”

I stood to go, “That will be – I think – a pitcher of Corona.”

Before we finished our beach time, that was two pitchers. Two pitchers. Three people. On the nude beach. Enjoying life. Together. And me, seeing that a fantasy was coming true. Me the older man. Pablo the younger man. The boy. This old man already having touched this god.

When we finished, three now barely covered – bikini, speedos -,a little bit tipsy people managed to make their way back to the hotel.

And to my surprise they are in the suite that adjoined mine – one with a connecting door. There to make it a super-suite. It would turn out to be that.

Thus was a wonderful turn of events. No Death on Venice with me expiring in a beach chair. I would be no Aschenbach. I would not die with my desire unrequited. Out there, in the sea. Touching. Pablo was my Tadzio. What a strange step for me. Here to start the healing process. In a place I would never have gone otherwise. In a way not really anticipated. Had I thought zi might have met a man here? Maybe. But not a boy. But there he had been. On the beach. Shining in the sun. And he had wanted to be with me. And now. And they lived close by at home.

I wondered what conversation went on in that next-door, connecting room? Was Adele cautioning Pablo. Was Pablo telling all. I know there would be no knock on the door by some local policeman to arrest me for child molestation – though he did look younger than 18. Was that part of the allure, that it looked like… But I had trust him. Or did I? Or would it be Adele telling me to back off, that it was O.K. to have same-sex sex, but not with her son. I hoped she wouldn’t. But that was a possibility.

We had agreed to have supper together. I freshened up. Got dressed. Nice resort wear. Conservative. Long pants. A long-sleeved shirt. Socks and shoes. Nothing tell-tale or flaming. Of course not, I was not out in any way, not even sure that from now on I would be gay. Though I knew I like this boy.

There was a knock on the connecting door. I opened it. Adele came in. She closed the door behind her. Was this to be the talk?

She was a knock-out in a tank top and short skirt. The top showed off her breasts. Full. And braless, her nipples her outlined. The skirt, her legs. Long and tan. Simple make-up. Blonde hair loose. Were this some old day, I would be in thrall to her. And something in still was, still felt desire in the face of such beauty. She smiled. Her face lit up. I smiled back. I waited.

“Bob, what a surprise to meet you here. Pablo likes you. I like that he likes you.”

“He is a nice young man.”

“There is something I want to talk about before Pablo joins us, though. Something important, and a bit hard to talk about. Is that O.K.”

“Sure.”

“I think he might have mentioned something, a little bit about this.”

“I don’t know. We did not talk a lot. Just enjoyed the water.”

“And being together. Was it awkward being nude with him?”

“A bit, not since school locker room days. I have not had a lot of experience in public nudity.”

“Was it hard?”

“Hard? You mean difficult?”

“No. Hard?”

“Adele, I am not sure I understand?”

“You do, Bob.”

“O.K., I do.”

“Bob. It is O.K. Pablo has always been gay. He is just 18. He likes you. You like him. And… I know he told you I am a lesbian. I’m 45. My current partner is 22. So, an age gap works for me.”

Wow. Not the talk I expected.

“Pablo wonders if it is O.K. to hang around with you. I told him it is. I told him I would ask you. Is it O.K.?”

“Yes.”

“Just yes. No, I would love it. But… I am new to these desires.”

“Pablo told me you seemed a bit awkward. I think he would like to help.”

“Tell him O.K.” What was I agreeing to? Spending time with a young god I lusted for…

“Well, Bob, let’s us three go to supper.”

“Yes.”

“You can be a man of few words. Hey, Pablo, come in. We are off to supper.”

He came in through the connecting door. Glowing.

“Hi, Bob.”

“Hi, Pablo.”

Dressed to kill… tight pants, a shirt open and not tucked in. When he walked in I aught a glimpse of his nipples, pert, hard, hot. His breasts with a gentle subtle definition, on his right breast a small butterfly that I had not noticed when we were together earlier. I felt my loin stir – what an old-fashioned way to describe what I felt, but so right. It was a stirring. A coming to new life. I like what I saw. I smiled.

He saw the smile. His mother too.

He was pleased. His mother told him t button up and tuck in his shirt before we went down to the dining room.

He did. Though I wished he hadn’t. I did.

“O. K., Mom. Otherwise things O.K.”

“Yes, Pablo.”

“Nice.”

I said, “Let’s go.”

I was surprised when he took my hand.

“Yes, Bob. Let’s go.”

I followed him. We left.

Here I was with what was a beautiful woman – Adele, and a beautiful boy – Pablo. A not so bad-looking man myself. We three were “seen” when we came in and seated. But I had eyes only for this boy, my Tadzio.

This was no a dream, was it. Would it become a nightmare?

A lovely dining room. Airy. Relaxed. A delicious meal. So normal. Nothing sexual about it. At least for the first hour or so. We started with 2 rounds of drinks. Gin and tonic all around before the meal and with the starters. With the main course, between the three of us, two bottles of chardonnay to go with our fish and lobsters. Adele had lobster. She kept dripping melted butter into her cleavage. Very hot. She was… well…

Mid-way through our main course, Pablo asked me if I wanted try is entrée. I said sure. Then, he took his fork and fed me. He asked for some of mine. I returned the favor. Very hot to be feeding this boy.

“Now boys… be careful.”

“Yes, Mom.

With that I felt Pablo’s hand on my thigh. We were seated together with his mom on a half-circle banquette. His fingers were looking for my cock. My cock. It was growing with that mind of its own. I wish I had gone commando.

He turned to me, looking as if nothing was going on below the table-top, and said nonchalantly, “Better commando. Check it out.”

I took the hint. Resting from eating. Well. I put a hand under the table. Moved it to my left. Found his leg. And stroked his hard cock. Damn. He put a hand on top of mine.

“Hi, Bob.” Again that tip of his tongue on his top lip.

“Pablo, … “

“Yes?”

“More wine?”

“Yes.”

“Adele?”

“For sure.”

“I’ll get another bottle.”

She said, “Nice. A nice wine. I like how it makes me feel.”

“Me too,” said Pablo.

“Good guys.”

All the while I was stroking that cock.

Then back to eat and drink and talk. Feeling the wine. Loving that feeling of looseness and freedom, loving see how it affected the two others.

Dessert. No coffee. Done.

Adele said, “I am going up to the room. Why don’t you two boys take a walk and then come up and join me. I have something for a nightcap in the room. Then to bed.”

“O.K. Mom.”

“O.K. Adele.”

We got up from the table, a little bit unsteadily. But we managed. She went up to the room. Pablo and I went outside. Once on the beach, I put my arm around him. We walked side-by-side. Arms around each other’s waists. My hand slipped down to hold his ass. Fuck, what was this.

“Too bad you are not commando, Bob.”

“I know.”

“I know.”

“I know.”

He stopped me.

“Bob, I am going to kiss you.”

He did not wait for an answer. He did it. First a peck. Then full on French. His mouth too control of mine. Our tongues dancing. My hand was in his pants. His cock was a rod of steel. We kissed. He paused every so slightly to undo my pants. To take my cock out.

“Bob, into that shadow.”

“Yes.”

He led me by my cock into the shadows.

We were in a dark place, very dark, but not so dark that we could no see enough of what we were doing. We kissed. Stroked cock. I broke the kiss to go n my knees to take Pablo’s cock in my hungry mouth.

He whispered, “Fuck, Bob, you are sucking me like a man staring for cock.”

“I am.”

“Suck me. Lick under my shaft. Take my balls in your mouth.”

I did. This was a mad, wild sex I had never felt before. I was a starving man. A man getting food needed to survive. To live. To be.

Then, he shuddered. His cock exploded. Cum filled my mouth. I did not want to swallow it until I had it all. But there seemed like there was so much. I had to swallow.

“Bob, take it, take it, please.”

I did. Finally, I could stop. Wanton me tipped my head back to show him I had some cum on my tongue.

He bent down. Kissed me. We snowballed. Then I swallowed.

“Bob, Bob… you were hungry.” Let’s go upstairs. And I hope you will feed this hungry boy.”

“Pablo, I will.”

We straightened our clothes. I took his hand. We went back to the hotel, up the elevator – kissing when the doors closed.

He walked up to the door of his room.

“I have to go in here.”

“You do?”

“Yes.”

“But?”

“Bob, you come in too --- for that nightcap.”

“Of course.”

Pablo knocked on the door. His mother opened it.

“Boys, nice walk? Nightcap?”

I said, “Yes and yes.”

“Good. I’ve been waiting. Maybe you’ll tell me about the night lights, any shooting stars, fireworks?”

“Mom, we will.”

“Let’s get comfortable, boys.”

It was then that I noticed she was just in a thin robe. She let it slip off.

“No fair, boys.”

We took then hint. We stripped. Nude. Like on the beach. A darken room. Two big beds. A bottle of nice, cold vodka. Ice. Tonic. And what was that on the nightstand? I might find out later.

Pablo and Adele – on one bed. Me on the other. We talked. About the week ahead. How Adele’s partner was coming. How it would be nice if Pablo stayed with me. How, how, how. This conversation was not really happening, was it? It was. I agreed that Pablo could stay in my room. We were deep into the bottle. More than a little drunk. I had watched Pablo stroke his cock. Mine was hard. Adele had had fingers in her pussy. She had tweaked her nipples. Their was sex in the air.

Then she said, “Pablo.”

“Yes.”

“You like Bob?”

“Yes.”

“Bob, you like Pablo?”

“Well, yes.”

“Then why don’t you two get on one bed and show me how much you like each other.”

Here was Pablo’s mother, getting us together. Fuck. Hot. Pablo got up, walked over to me, kissed me, then sat on the bed next to me, then pulled me on top of him. We kissed. Two men high on booze and sex. Kissing, stroking cocks, touching everywhere, easily, openly, as Adele watched. As Adele cheered us on. As Adele guided me to take Pablo’s cock in my mouth and Pablo to take mine, to 69… and me like a drowning man, so hungry for this boy’s cock. Her hands were on my ass. I felt her fingers probing my hole, seeing it is was ready for cock…

“Pablo, honey, baby. Fuck this man for me. He is wants it.”

“Yes, Mom.”

She was busy probing my hole. Lubing it. Running her fingers around it. Finger fucking me. Hot. In one fantasy I had always wanted a woman to peg me, then fist me. It was happening her.

And her was the mom getting me ready to be fucked by her son. Shit. This was sick. But not. This was life. My new life. A life I wanted.