Over-cooked Hams

 Some dude's first person account-

"Slow night at the sauna. Like most Wednesday nights in fact. That was just another reason for us to be there. Less dudes, more chance of getting something half decent for ourselves. Me and Darragh that is. We’ve been mates since the late ‘90s when we were the fresh new meat on the scene. In those days we had to fend the guys off. Especially Darragh. I was pretty hot shit, but Darragh was a stunner. Of course, back then we’d fucked each other a lot. We fucked a lot generally. But we’d remained good mates even after our passion for each other had faded with our aging bodies and vanishing looks. These days, we were content to cruise together. And Wednesday night was student night. Hence the night of interest for all those who savour college bussy. Our night.

The best places to get some we found were the down-market, dingy establishments. Student penury and all that. At least that’s what it was like when we were at college, twenty something years ago. And these cheap saunas tended to be quieter anyway. You didn’t get a lot of those loud scene queens who treated them like extensions of the nightclub. You got ordinary mature blokes and the odd college-age lads. I suppose we are of the former group these days, me and Darragh; early 40s, a bit flabby, a bit saggy, not too far over the hill, but not fit young things either. We weren’t interested in our own peers though. We wanted college jock meat. Here on a Wednesday night is where it could be found.

But, apparently, not this Wednesday. We had been in here since 11pm or thereabouts. Nothing much doing. The usual grey, white or balding dudes. Beer bellies, leather skins, etc. A few lads we knew from the glory days, but now thoroughly on the turn towards dirty-old-bastard status. Plenty on offer, but nothing appealing. We headed to one of the porn viewing rooms upstairs. Might as well. There was usually something good on the screens. Some Czech porn. Cute jocks and pretty twinks.

We were there, in the darkness, on one of the leather couches, stroking our schlongs uncommittedly watching the TV on the wall. There was one other dude in there. He was of our vintage. As indifferent to us as we were to him.

Then, they came in. Fuck, they were gorgeous! A group of four scally lads from somewhere well north of Watford. Three white, one West Asian. All fit young dudes in their early 20s. They were raucous enough coming in. Then they just sat themselves on the sofa at the back wall, behind us. Our dicks very quickly sprang back to life. We would have some fun with these lads.

Having downed more vodka than Darragh during our earlier binge at the club, I had the edge in Dutch courage. I gave Darragh a knowing wink, gripped up my towel around my waist, turned and headed down back towards the lads.

“Alright boys. Any of you got any poppers?” I hailed as I approached.

The one in the middle caught my eye first. He was rippingly sexy. Blonde, pale skin, healthy ruddy cheeks, rosebud lips. He was grinning impishly at me.

“yeh man. We do. Is that all you want to know?” he snickered wryly

His mate beside him, a shaven headed young jock, passed a jar of poppers to him. The blonde opened and inhaled extravagantly.

“awh, yeah man!” he continued “so good! These almost make a sad, flabby old perv like you look alright!”

They all laughed. I felt my dick begin to shrivel in humiliation. Here I was in all my now-middle-aged glory. Catching lip from some smart-assed twink, like I most probably was back in the day.

“I think he wants your arse, Scottie-boy” came the mocking voice of another of the blonde's pals.

“Yeh?” replied Scott, the blonde “well, he can fuckin’ dream on”

They all laughed again. Now my embarrassment was beginning to overpower my drunkenness. I was just about to turn and head back to Darragh, my manhood well and truly in retreat up my crotch.

“awhh! Dude! Don’t take it like that” Scott went on “ alright, you can have a whiff.”

I turned and shuffled over to where the lad reached out with the open bottle. I leaned in. He quickly jerked it away.

“nah! Can’t get ‘em like that. Get that towel off, get on your hands and knees and fuckin’ beg, man. Don’t tell me a fat ol’ fuck like you isn’t used to begging from some fit lad?”

I duly obliged. He reached out with the poppers again. I took in a deep breath. I felt the excited energy swell in my schlong and my crack. Was Darragh watching this? I’m being humiliated by these boys, but I’m too far gone. I need to get some of this blonde babe’s boyhole. I’ll do what it takes.

“Maybe he wants a whiff of something else, Scott”- it was the hunky West Asian guy speaking

“maybe he does too, man” replied Scott. He stood up, turned and dropped his towel, revealing a mouth-wateringly beautiful set of pearly white young buns. My dick was by now raging with desperate energy.

“Well, if you want a whiff of this, dude, you gotta show us you deserve it.” Scott turned back around. His fine healthy young donger fully hard.

He went on - “you know, mate, you’re dogshit, right? You and your sad ol’ bastard mates down there (he meant Darragh and the other guy). You’re all just dogshit. Sick fuckin ol’ pervs looking to get some lad’s arse for your kicks. You should be fuckin paying for it at your age. We wouldn’t piss on you if we didn’t have a sense of humour!”

I was trembling with excitement at this stage. The lad right; we were desperate, horny, clapped out middle aged pervs. No point denying it. We were dying to get some young bussy here. Were willing to ditch all dignity to do so. This was just the way we looked at the older dudes back when we were the hot shit. We also got our kicks from humiliating them and watching them crawl to get anywhere near our fresh young arses.

“I got a present for you and your mates” said Scott “c’mon back here”- he called to Darragh and the other guy.

When they were down, similarly instructed, and on all fours butt naked beside me, Scott once again squatted and presented his arse, this time to Darragh while I took in another deep breath of poppers and passed them over to the other dude, on the far side of Darragh.

I could see Darragh’s eyes light up as he moved in to get his tongue into that bussy on display. Just as he was about to reach it, however, Scott let a long, stinking fart right into Darragh’s face. Darragh moaned as the lads fell around laughing at our degradation. Darragh quickly got hold of the poppers and sucked in. That was enough to get his enthusiasm back.

Scott jumped over and got Darragh’s head between his legs. He squeezed. As he did so, his other mates got to slapping Darragh’s ass, laughing all the time.

“you!” Scott barked at me “you want a taste of me arse, you gotta give it to your dirty fuckin pal here. Go on. Stick your saggy fuckin hole in his face.”

I turned and spread, pushing my ass into Darragh’s face. Not a thrilling experience for either of us. Don’t get me wrong. Darragh was absolutely gorgeous back in the day.  I found him well tasty when we were both twinks, and he felt the same about me. But we were both well past that now. I couldn’t get a stiffy for Darragh now if I tried. And visa versa. Having my ass in his face was not his idea of a good time anymore. Hadn't been for at least a decade. But we wanted these lads bad. So, we had to compromise.

Scott came around front-  “alright dad, take your fuckin prize”

He shoved that exquisite boyhole of his right to my lips, and gripping my head, pressed it in. I was in heaven at last! The savoury twang of that fresh hole, dripping with young musky aroma on my tongue.

I furiously worked my schlong as I plunged deep into that divine bussy

The release came like the autumn rains. I showered my load on the sticky sauna floor as both the lads and my own companions here busted their nut in filthy, sensual ecstasy.

Then, predictably, post orgasmic chill set in. We picked ourselves up. Got to the showers, and having furtively exchanged goodbyes, headed right home.