Eric had to force himself to stop running when he got to his building. He didn’t want to attract any more undue attention to himself as he walked in the lobby and got in the elevator.
He was panting, both from the exertion and the panic, sweat dripping from his forehead into his eyes. Or was it tears? He couldn’t really tell, his face felt numb.
Eric slammed the door to his apartment shut, and leaned against it. He couldn’t catch his breath or slow his heartbeat.
His mind was reeling. He hated that he had bolted, hated that he had let Dominic and Armand get to him, hated that he hadn’t explained anything to Kyle. But the old fear had coiled inside him, looking for a way out.
At least the familiar walls of his small, tidy space made him feel safe. It was a nest, protecting him against the world outside.
He sank to the floor, pulling his knees to his chest. The day’s lightness, the intimacy with Kyle, all of it felt like a cruel joke, shattered by the ghost of his past.
It became clear to him that Armand wanted Kyle and was willing to do anything to undermine his friend’s relationships. It was clearly not the first time he had acted out of line.
But Eric felt outgunned and outmatched, tears of frustration stinging his eyes. His previous life was being wielded against him, and he didn’t know how to stop it.
He was aware of the persistent buzzing of his phone, but couldn’t face Kyle, not when he felt so exposed. He wasn’t ready to revisit that part of his past that left such a hole in his world.
But moreover, he was ashamed of his reaction, of himself, of daring to hope that he could ever come out of the mud without making a mess everywhere he went.
A cold feeling of self-doubt was creeping up the back of his mind. Armand’s words to Kyle echoed in his mind, insidious and sharp. “Maybe you could settle with someone who is lighter. In more ways than one."
Maybe he was right. Kyle deserved better than someone without such a heavy past. Someone who wasn’t a traumatized shelter dog who would flinch anytime someone breathed in his general direction and be paralyzed at the first sign or trouble.
****
Eric eventually got up, unsure how to carry on with his day. He moved through his apartment in a daze, trying to clean what was already clean or to lose himself in work emails that couldn’t hold his attention. There was no escaping the gnawing need to be back in Kyle’s arms, to feel safe and unjudged.
He'd been ignoring Kyle, a cagey move he was acutely aware of. But facing him felt impossible right now. Still, the persistent buzzing, the texts, the calls, were a constant pull. Finally, Eric pulled out his phone.
Kyle's missed calls and messages stacked up.
Hey, are you OK? You kinda ran off on me.
I’m so sorry for what happened. I don’t know what it was about, but it was clearly unacceptable of them.
Just wanted to make sure you’re alright.
Please just tell me you’re OK.
Eric let out a deep sigh. Kyle was being such a gentleman, emanating a constant, steady warmth that Eric felt undeserving of.
Hey. I’m so sorry for running away. Just really needed to be alone. I’m home. But yeah, I'm fine. He hit send, aware that the words were thin and insufficient even as he typed them.
Kyle replied immediately. You sure? You seemed pretty upset. Everything alright?
Nothing to worry about. Eric's thumb hovered over the screen, his jaw tight.
Let me know if I can do anything.
Eric's throat tightened. He wanted a hug, but couldn't bring himself to ask Kyle for anything after just disappearing for hours. He took a shaky breath. I’ll be OK. Just shaken up. Don’t worry about me.
Just let me know, OK?
Ok. Eric hesitated, then added, Thank you.
He stared at his phone for a long time. He wondered if he should have said things differently, worried he had just confirmed to Kyle how messed up he really was, pushing him away for good.
Eric spent the rest of the day wrestling the need to eat junk food, as he had restocked his kitchen with only unprocessed ingredients. Fried eggs and whole wheat toast would have to be enough.
His thoughts kept coming back to the scene with Armand and Dominic, and then to the intense intimacy of his night with Kyle.
It had been brief, their connection had been powerful, but getting intimate with someone, truly letting them in, proved to be a step too far outside his carefully constructed comfort zone.
Eric watched TV absentmindedly until dark. He didn’t sleep well that night. He dreamt of running, always away from something, but no matter how fast he ran or how many turns he took, the shadow behind him never receded.
He spent Sunday cooped up inside, eating his not-junk food and playing video games.
He knew he couldn’t avoid Kyle forever. They had planned to hit the gym again on Monday morning, but he still couldn’t face him.
With a sigh, he decided to get it over with. He grabbed his phone, clicked on Kyle’s contact, but hesitated. What could he possibly say?
Hey, sorry, I can't make it tomorrow morning. Something came up. He hit send before he could second-guess himself.
The reply didn’t take long. Oh, bummer. Everything okay with ‘something’?
Just work stuff. Reschedule soon?
Definitely. Let me know when works for you. In the meantime, there’s a hug waiting for you here whenever you want it.
Eric wanted to scream. Why was Kyle being so nice to him, still? It made no sense. After ignoring him, Kyle should be annoyed, frustrated, even angry. Dominic would have been furious. But Kyle's texts were just... kind. He hadn't demanded an explanation, there was no guilt trip. It was confusing, and in a way, almost harder to deal with than anger. Eric wasn’t sure how to proceed.
OK, thanks. Sorry if I’m being weird.
You’re not. I understand that you need time to figure things out. I’m here if you need anything. Talk soon. xo
Eric didn’t know how to respond to this unwarranted affection, so he set the phone down, desperate to avoid overthinking, and went back to killing demons with his controller.
****
The days blurred into a week. Eric avoided his phone, avoided anything that might connect him to Kyle or the others. His apartment felt less like a refuge and more like a place to just get through the hours.
He went to work, still did his job, but it felt like he was just going through the motions. He was back to doubting himself like he did before he met Kyle. He ate his healthy food, kept his apartment tidy, but he was on autopilot. He'd catch himself staring at his phone, fighting the urge to text Kyle, but then he'd have to remember the scene in the street, the look on Dominic's face, Armand's smug grin, and the panic would set in again.
Avoiding those thoughts also implied avoiding the possibility of messing up something good with Kyle because he was a mess.
He stayed late at work every day, burying himself in the familiar routine of the newsroom. It was a different kind of escape, less frantic than running home, but just as effective in keeping the ghosts at bay.
It was already late on Friday, and he was still editing a particularly dense story when his desk phone rang. Who was left in the office at this hour?
“Eric Reid”, he answered, his voice tired.
“Mr. Reid, this is Diana from security”, the voice crackled through the receiver. “You have a visitor at the front desk.”
Eric looked at the time with a frown. It was nearly 8:30 PM. Only the cleaning staff moved among the deserted desks, vacuuming. A visitor? “Oh? Who is it?” he asked, his voice suddenly sharp.
“A Mr. Kyle Peters”, the guard replied.
Eric's heart skipped a beat. Kyle was at his work! There was no running away here. He took a deep breath.
“Send him up”, he said, his voice steady, but with a knot in his stomach.
He met Kyle at the elevators. Kyle's expression was serious as he stepped out, but there was a gentleness in his dark blue eyes that eased some of Eric's tension.
He was wearing a black jacket and dark jeans. His hair had that effortlessly tousled look. Kyle hadn’t shaved or trimmed for days, giving him a scruffier look than usual. He looked tired, but even then, he was the most handsome man Eric had ever met. He felt a flutter in his chest.
“Hey”, Kyle said softly.
“Hey”, Eric replied, his voice a little tight.
“Sorry to barge in, but you've been avoiding me. And I was serious when I said that I’d hunt you down to your cubicle if you ghosted me.” The corner of Kyle’s lips quivered, a spark in his eyes.
Eric would have been amused at Kyle’s persistence, had he not been so ashamed. He looked down, unable to meet his gaze.
"I... I know," he mumbled.
"Lets get out of here", Kyle asked with a hopeful smile, gesturing towards the exit. "Grab your stuff. We're getting dinner."
Eric hesitated for a moment, then nodded. He returned to his office to turn everything off and gather his things. Kyle looked around curiously, but didn’t ask for a tour.
They walked out of the building together, the night air crisp and the city lit up around them. Kyle broke the silence.
“So, how was your week?”
“Busy. Too many meetings, never enough time.” That earned a chuckle from Kyle. “Can’t believe it’s already Friday.” Eric paused, the silence stretching slightly. “And how are you?”
Kyle looked at the ground, his hands in his pockets. “It’s been alright. I had an amazing date with an amazing guy last week. We spent the night together and it was like fireworks. But then he sort of… ran away without a word, and I’ve been worried I’d done something wrong.”
Eric frowned. Kyle, worried he had done something wrong? That was absurd.
“Kyle, none of it was about you. Seeing Dominic again, like that… Well it really rattled me. So this was all me, you were great. You did everything right, really. I’m very sorry I made you feel that way.”
Kyle took his hand, and gave it a gentle squeeze, a wave of relief visible in his eyes. “Apology accepted.”
He led them a bit further to a small Mexican restaurant, saying he craved a healthy burrito, the kind with vegetables and lean protein. Eric looked around, intrigued that he had never even heard of this place even if it was close to his work. The setting was casual, the aroma of spices welcoming, and the food looked delicious.
They were quickly seated in a booth by the window and gave their order to the waitress, while Kyle kept the conversation light, recounting a minor crisis involving a spilled crate of glitter that turned a whole section of the warehouse into a sparkly disaster zone a few days ago.
The food arrived faster than expected, and Eric was impressed at how good it was. After a few bites, he felt instantly better. Kyle was visibly pleased with himself, the satisfied smirk easing the tension in Eric’s shoulders he hadn’t even realized he had.
****
When they were done eating, Kyle reached across the table, taking Eric’s hand. His touch was warm, his eyes insistent.
“I’m so relieved to know that I didn’t scare you away”, Kyle said, his voice low and earnest. “But whatever happened, whatever you're going through, maybe it could help to talk about it? You don’t have to share things you don’t want to, but I'm here for you.”
Eric swallowed hard and nodded.
"So, about Dominic..." Kyle prompted gently, his thumb stroking Eric's hand. "Do you want to tell me about him?"
Eric looked out the window, at the people going about their merry Friday night in the busy street. He sighed.
"We met in college, a long time ago. We had a few classes together and we became friends, then boyfriends. We were pretty similar, actually. Both a bit nerdy, a bit insecure. Similar body types too. We liked pizza a bit too much.” He managed a small, sad smile.
“We were married for almost six years. And for a while, it was good. Really good.”
He paused, his face clouding over. “Then Dominic discovered the wondrous world of fitness. At first, I was happy for him. Genuinely. He was losing weight, getting healthier, and making new friends.”
Eric's voice grew colder. “But it seemed like as he shed the weight, he shed a bit of himself too, of his kindness. He became… vain. Arrogant. Mean. Nothing like the goofy man I once knew.” He shook his head, a bitter laugh escaping. “The bullied became the bully, I guess.”
Kyle’s grip on his hand was steady, his gaze unwavering. He didn’t interrupt, or try to fill the silence when Eric paused.
“I guess I got comfortable in the cozy life we had built together, but he came to resent the routine and kept making comments about me not being ambitious or adventurous enough. Then came digs about my taste in music, movies and hobbies, how ‘basic’ and uncultured I actually was.
"At some point, he started cheating on me. Not openly, but he didn’t try very hard to hide it because I found it without trying." Eric’s voice wavered, but he continued. “And he used me. For money mostly. He drained our joint accounts for his new lifestyle, buying expensive clothes, going to exclusive clubs with his new ‘friends’. I didn't even realize how much he was taking until it was almost all gone.”
He clenched his jaw. “When I finally confronted him… he just walked out with a laugh. He left me with a house I couldn’t afford on my own. I had to move out, but I barely had any savings left.”
Eric wiped a tear from his cheek. “He then started lying about me to our common friends, saying that I was controlling and a pathological liar, that I became jealous of his newfound success, that I was a slob. I’m not good at confrontation, so I had a hard time arguing my side. And in the end, they chose to stay with him instead of me.”
Kyle listened, his face full of compassion.
“I was barely able to hang onto my job. But it took a toll, and I struggled.”
Eric's voice was barely a whisper now. “So yeah. Dominic stripped me of everything. I had to rebuild my life from scratch. It took two years to get over it. Seeing him again, as Armand’s prop… it just brought back everything.”
Eric stopped talking, letting the heavy silence settle between them.
“Thank you for sharing your story with me. I'm so sorry you went through all that”, Kyle said, squeezing Eric's hand. “You didn't deserve any of it. But you’re here now. And you’re strong. You picked yourself up, Eric. That's incredible.”
Eric looked at Kyle, his eyes raw. He felt a warmth spread through his chest like a wave of relief. He had carried that burden alone for so long, and had felt like nobody had wanted to hear his side of the story.
But now, sharing it with Kyle, the pressure felt lighter. The anger and the shame were a bit dulled. He felt seen.
“And about this week”, Eric started again, looking down at their clasped hands, his voice softer now. “I’m really sorry for ghosting you. That was… not fair to you. I just… I thought everything had come crashing down, and my first instinct was to retreat. I guess I’ve always been good at hiding. It’s like I need to process everything alone, even though I’m aware that I’m shutting out the people who are trying to help.”
He took a shaky breath. “It’s a bad habit, one I’m trying to break. But I really regretted it this week. Because of you.”
Kyle gave Eric's hand a reassuring squeeze. “I get it. It’s okay. I was worried for sure, but I understand that everyone copes differently. I just needed to know you were alright.”
“I didn’t think I was ready to meet someone new yet,” Eric added, shyly. “But then you show up, and well…”
He took a deep breath and looked Kyle in the eyes, pushing past his lingering fear. “I have such a huge crush on you. There, I said it. I still find it hard to believe a guy like you could be into someone like me. And I’m still scared it might be too soon for me, but I missed you this week.”
Kyle's grip tightened on his hand, and a slow smile spread across his face, his eyes crinkling at the corners.
“I mean, I crushed on you the moment we met. And I could tell right away you were skittish. I basically had to chase you down, remember?” He let out a soft chuckle.
They shared a knowing look and both blushed as they remembered the intense end to their first meeting.
When the waitress arrived with the check, Kyle scooped it up with a grin. “My treat”, he declared. “Considering I stalked you and ambushed you at your office, it’s the least I can do.”
Eric laughed. “Well, I’m not too difficult to catch… if the bait is good enough”, he retorted, the words feeling light after so much tension. It felt good to be able to joke again.
****
They left the restaurant, stepping back out into the cool night air. They walked hand in hand, not really going anywhere, just enjoying each other’s company.
Kyle gave Eric's hand a little squeeze. “Do you want to come back to my place? Or... yours?”
Eric hesitated for a moment, then a small smile played on his lips. “Let’s go to mine. It’s closer.”
Kyle's face lit up. “Awesome. Lead the way.”
They didn't talk much on the way. The city was winding down around them. Eric just felt Kyle's warm hand in his, and that was enough. He looked at Kyle, who glanced back and grinned. He felt a pang of shame. Things could be so easy with Kyle, if only his past wasn't such a mess.
When they arrived at his building, Eric led Kyle inside, his heart thrumming a little faster. He was the first guy he’d brought to his new place.
They stood close in the elevator, in silence. He unlocked his apartment door, pushing it open to reveal his small and tidy home. Kyle stepped inside, his eyes taking in the modern space.
"Not as cozy as my palace, but I guess it'll do," Kyle joked with a wink.
After removing their jackets, he pulled Eric into a tight hug. Eric returned the embrace, letting out a sigh of comfort. Kyle’s arms felt like a safety blanket.
Eric raised his head, their lips meeting softly. Kyle’s long beard tickled his face, making him smile.
Kyle gave a sheepish grin. “Sorry about the beard. It’s been quite a week.”
Eric raised his hand to stroke the beard. “I don’t hate it. It gives you a really rugged, lumberjack kind of look.” He gazed at Kyle’s face fondly.
Their following kiss was deeper, Kyle’s tongue dancing in Eric’s mouth, who replied in kind.
After pulling away, Eric got them some water. He was tired, and all he wanted to cuddle up beside Kyle, but he didn't want to disappoint. “Would it be ok if we just slept tonight?”
“Absolutely. I'm looking forward to having my little heater again.”
Eric chuckled. He made his way to the bathroom to get ready, and realized he didn’t have a brand new toothbrush for his guest. He rumaged through the cabinet under the sink for a minute and handed a little package to Kyle. “Here’s a new head for my electric toothbrush. You can start, I’ll do it after you’re done.” Kyle accepted it like it was something special.
While Kyle brushed his teeth, Eric washed his face close by. They were still getting to know each other, but this domestic moment felt surprisingly comfortable.
When Eric was done, Kyle was already getting cozy in bed, shirtless. Eric joined him without rushing. He lay down and pulled the covers up as they exchanged a kiss.
Eric snuggled into Kyle's arms, his head tucked under Kyle's chin, the big strong arm wrapped around him.
Hearing Kyle's steady heartbeat was the most reassuring thing ever, and his smell was like coming home. No words were needed. Eric felt safe, his brain finally able to just chill. He closed his eyes, already drifting off, a gentle smile on his face. This was exactly what he needed.
He’d worry about Dominic and Armand later. Tomorrow, maybe, with Kyle by his side. For tonight, there was only this peace.
(To be continued)
