Oneiric

“Claudius?!”, a voice called for my name. Was I dreaming? Was I dead?

“Claudius, please wake up!”, the voice implored. I tried to open my eyes, but they were heavy as lead.

“Claudius, if you hear me, please come back!”, Flavius asked almost desperately.

I opened my eyes and saw Flavius’ beautiful blue eyes, looking at me with relief, throwing a cold caress upon my face. It took me a while to regain full consciousness. I remembered the club, Lavinia getting dragged outside by the group of panicked people, and myself being trapped there, waiting to choke or burn. The left leg, which got me trapped by the fallen spotlight, hurt, but it wasn’t broken, or severely wounded; as far as I could feel. However, my right leg hurt more than the other. Probably something had fallen on it after I passed out.

“I am so glad you woke up. I was so concerned I thought I was going to lose you”, said Flavius.

“W-where am I? How did I get out of the club?”, I asked, looking at him.

“I will explain everything. But for now, please, rest”, after Flavius said that, my eyes felt heavy again, I rested my head on the soft pillow and slowly dozed off...

I woke up, due to the pain I felt, but only in my left leg. I looked around in the room and didn’t recognize anything in it. I got up a little, my back resting on the pillows and I saw a room that was bigger than my bedroom. Tall, navy blue drapes covered the windows, casting a blue shadow on the walls and furniture.  I tried to get out of the bed, but my leg hurt so bad I let out a very low “ouch!”. Not even a minute passed when the door opened and a man entered. He went to the drapes and pulled them, letting the light fill the room. It was Flavius. My heartbeat accelerated when I realized it’s him. I felt joy and warmth knowing he was so close to me.

“Good morning!”, he said, happily.

“G-good morning, Flavius!”, I was a bit confused.

“How do you feel? I heard you move and came to check if your leg hurts.”

“W-where am I”, I asked him, while he came closer to the bed.

“You’re in my bed. This is my bedroom”, he answered, smiling.

“How did I get here? How is Lavinia?!”, I just remembered about my friend.

“She is fine. She was lucky to have exited the club before the pyre had gone wild”, he said.

“How did I end up in your home?”

“Are you hungry? You should eat to regain your forces”, he seemed to avoid my question.

“No, I am not hungry! Will you please answer my question?!”, I raised my voice, in frustration at the bewildering situation I was in.

“I was in my study, the other day when the lights flickered and a shadowy figure materialized in front of me. It looked exactly like you and it called for help. At first, I thought I was imagining things and, as the TV was turned on, on mute, I saw images of a fire at a club. Since your shadow called for help, it mentioned the fire and you being trapped.”

“But how did you manage to get me out of there and in your house?”, I didn’t understand how I got here.

“If I am going to tell you the truth, will you promise you won’t freak out?”, he seemed very serious.

“I promise. Please, just tell me the truth”, I begged.

“Very well. I am not a mere human being, like the rest. Nor am I a wielder of the magic arts. But I do possess great strength, stamina, and other abilities and skills. When I had made the connection between your shadow and the breaking news on TV, I rushed as fast as I could to the location.”

I was mesmerized and shocked altogether, by what he was telling me. I felt like a child, waiting for his bedtime story - anxious to know more and scared to face the truth.

“When I arrived, there were lots of people outside, firefighters, policemen, and ambulance personnel. I saw your friend Lavinia and asked her about you. She freaked out, crying, saying she didn’t find you outside among the escapees, that you were probably blocked in the pyre.”

I was so glad she was safe and sound. I felt bad she had to experience grief, for me. But she was my friend and that showed she loved me. I realized that I loved her too.

“I rushed into the burning club so fast, no one could have seen me do it. Inside there was smoke so thick that one could barely see. I sensed you were near, unconscious, but alive. You got trapped by a fallen spotlight and fainted due to the lack of oxygen. I lifted the weight from your leg and got you out of there.”

“How were you able to lift that spotlight. It was extremely heavy, and impaled to the floor as well.”

“As I said, I am very strong. The spotlight was like lifting a pebble off the ground. But I have to tell you, the only reason you didn’t burn to death was the magic cocoon that surrounded your body.”

“My what?”, I was shocked.

“When I got to you, I thought it was smoke that I saw encircling your body, but when I got closer, it was actually a protective cocoon of magical mist. I had suspected you had magic, but I was not certain.”

“What made you suspect I had magic?”, I asked.

“At Ramayana, you stopped to stare into the room I was in. The mist came out of your hands and your eyes started to glow.”

“That was you?! Oh my, sorry to have stared but I was so intrigued, I didn’t even notice I stopped to stare”, I think I was blushing.

“Don’t worry about that. I usually don’t raise my eyes to look at everyone who passes by. But when you stopped, I felt you and I heard whispers, so I had to look.”

“I thought the whispers came from your side”, I said, being surprised.

“You looked so beautiful, standing there, trying to pry”, Flavius said with a smirk.

“Your eyes glowed red”, I had recalled.

“I got aroused and that’s one of the effects”, he answered, the corner of his mouth moving into a smile.

“I turned you on”, was mostly an affirmation from me to myself. Then I realized I was wearing only my boxers. The thought of Flavius being aroused by me made my cock and balls tingle.

“Yes. You’re a very attractive young man”, I could tell he was getting hard looking at me now. He was standing in front of the bed, his bulge growing in size, a bit.

“Would you mind if I ask you to sit next to me?”, I asked, begging with my eyes.

“I thought you would never ask”, he said and laid in bed, next to me.

“If you do not have magic, what are you then?”, I asked, looking at him. I could tell it was difficult for him to answer. “I won’t change my attitude toward you, no matter what your answer is”.

"You are amazing! Did you know that?", he said, letting out a small laugh.

"I didn't do anything amazing. What makes you say that?", I asked, a little puzzled by his remark.

"You have been through a traumatic, life-threatening event, and you have the willpower to ask about someone else. Truly amazing mind you have, Claudius!"

Well, I'm not dead, and I'm not hurt. I would be in the hospital if it were the case. Lavinia is safe, so why should I think of it?", I lied, but I was speaking the truth. I was fine, but I was also scared. "So, will you tell me what are you?".

“In Latin I am known as a Strix, but in our language I am most commonly known to be a strigoi”, after he gave his answer, his face didn’t express anything.

Author’s note:  In Romanian folklore, a strigoi (or moroi) forms when an unbaptized baby dies, or when a person dies but no religious service is performed. It is believed that they bring bad luck to people, feed on life force of humans or drain cows of their milk. They can also take animal form.

I have deviated from all these orthodox religious definitions and rethought the strigoi term, to represent an undead being, with supernatural abilities and life essence consumption. Somewhat similar to a vampire if you may.

“How old are you?”, I asked.

“Would you believe it if I told you?”, he was still manifesting his poker face.

“Try me!”, I dared him, trying to obtain some emotion from him.

“I am 9.000 years old.”

“…”, my mouth dropped, I was in awe.

“I should leave you rest…”, he tried to get out of the bed but I didn’t let him. I grabbed his hand while he was about to get up.

“No! Please stay. Your presence soothes me”, As I looked at him, the features on his face looked pleased. I managed to change his way of thought about himself, somehow. But It was the truth, I did want him to be close to me.

“Would you share a bed with an unliving creature such as I?”, he was too harsh on himself.

“I don’t care what you think of yourself to be. You saved me from that club, and for that, you will have my eternal gratitude”, I was serious now. This bullshit about him not being a meritorious person had to stop.

“You have no idea what horrors I had caused, in my past. How many I have killed and took their life essence.”, he grimaced.

“But you didn’t kill me.”

“I could never lay a finger on you”, he looked at me and I believed him.

“Do you hurt people often, to feed on them?”, I dared ask.

“No. At this advanced stage of my existence, I do not need to feed, almost at all. Only if I am very injured or if I try to procreate.”

“When was the last time you fed or procreated?”, the last word made my cock pulse, twice.

“The last time I fed was at the end of the Second World War. Due to my abilities, I was working as a spy for the Romanian Throne, and infiltrated the Fuhrer's bunker.”

“Why would the Romanian Throne want to infiltrate spies in Hitler’s bunker? We were allies in that war”, I was so curious.

“The Fuhrer was not in his right mind. He wasn’t since The Reich started to lose to the Russians. He had learned nothing from Napoleon’s incursions in Russia, during winter. Napoleon was intelligent and ambitious, that you would understand, but Adolf was just insane.”

I was completely fascinated. The way Flavius talked, it seemed he had met almost every famous personality in history.

“Yes, that’s true, but why spy on the mad Fuhrer?”

“In hopes of gathering some sort of intelligence to help Romania claim Transylvania back from Hungary. If the Axis won, Romania would’ve regained Bessarabia, but lose Transylvania. I didn’t get to spy much, because the Russian’s advance ruined my plans. And the Nazis had started mass suicides to prevent the Russian's access to the information they had. And Hitler shot himself.”

“But how did you end up needing to feed?”

“As I was making my escape from the ruins of Berlin, a shell had exploded near me and severely wounded me. Never in my history of nine millennia had I been that wrecked by a weapon of Man."

“And what did you feed on, if the city was in ruin?”

“There was a Russian soldier, trying to rape a German teenage girl. With my last strength, I stopped him and drank his blood until he breathed no more.”

“Why do you need to feed if you want to procreate?”

“Because, if you give blood so you must take the blood back.”

“How many times did you procreate?”

“I have never done it.”

“Why?”

“I cannot condemn a soul to this curse.”

“Why do you call it a curse? How did you become a strigoi, if I am not too personal?”, I had hoped my curiosity didn’t bother him.

“It is a long story, and you need to eat and rest some more”, I guess he wasn’t prepared to tell me yet. “I should let you rest”.

“No! Don’t leave. Please stay with me”, as I asked him to stay, my hand grabbed him, again.

He looked into my eyes and I could feel his cold gaze, caressing my face, my neck, and my bare chest. As I was still holding his hand, he laid next to me, his fingers playing on my chest. The coldness gave me goosebumps, and my nipples hardened. His hand then touched my neck as he was approaching my mouth.

His lips touched mine and started a dance of kisses, that made me lose my breath. He backed away a bit and when he opened his eyes, they were ember red, glowing with a warm light. I rose the duvet and dragged him under. I needed to feel his body touching mine. He was cold, contrasting with the warmth emanating from me, but it didn't bother me. I would warm the both of us.

“You are so warm”, Flavius said while grinding his body over mine.

He started to kiss me on the neck, while his cock felt rock hard, pushing into my erect dick. He gave off a low moan of pleasure, then continued to kiss my neck, going down to my nipples. He bit on one and I let out a low cry of pleasure. The way he made me feel was unexplainably good. As I tried to roll over on top of him, the pain in my foot stopped me. And it stopped him from licking and kissing my abdomen.

“Are you alright?”, he asked with caution on his face.

“Yes, it’s just my leg, it still hurts. But don’t stop”, I begged.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t”, I tried to insist to get up.

“There is time for that. Don’t force your leg”, he said. He was probably right. But it didn’t mean I liked it at all. I can be greedy when I don't get something, especially when I really desire it. Or better said him.

“It’s not really fair to arouse me then stop”, I said looking at him with puppy eyes.

“Your safety is more important to me, than physical release. I promise, there will be time for that too.”

“Easy for you to say”, I was acting like a spoiled brat, but I smiled when I said that to him.

“You have no idea how difficult it is for me to abstain from doing anything intimate with you.”

“Do you feel like you need to feed from me?”, I asked.

“Not really. Although, the feeling of hunger and sexual pleasure are somewhat intertwined”, he said, while looking at me with a mild face.

“That’s quite interesting. For newborns, there is a great pleasure while feeding on their mother’s breast, and to the function of feeding, through the feeling of pleasure, the sexual function is also satisfied. It’s an odd way of putting things, but that’s what Freud believed.”

“Ah, Sigmund. He was a very interesting human. Way ahead of his time. But some of his methods and theories were erroneous. But he was remarkable, nevertheless”, Flavius answered, acting as if he was talking about an old friend.

“You met Sigmund Freud?!”, it was unbelievable.

“I have met most of the great genii humanity had birthed”, he said, as if it was nothing. “But believe me, it’s not easy to be around you. And don’t get me wrong. I want to be around you as much as possible. Your presence fills me with overwhelming joy and kissing you, caressing you, gives me great pleasure. I haven’t been with a human for several centuries and I must accustom to handling your fragile body. I could literally break you while thrusting too hard into your pelvis, or I could break your ribs while holding you in my arms.”

“Okay, you need not say more. I understand and I don’t want to force anything upon you. But I remember that the night we went to the woods, when you came to pick me up, your hands were warm.”

“I had a hot coffee right before parking my car, and the A/C was turned to warm all the time during my ride. I didn’t want to scare you off if my hands were cold”, he said while moving his finger on my pecs.

“Ah, I see. But in the forest, your hand was cold.”

“Yes, the warmth had dissipated from my body, but you were cold as well, due to the frosty night. I felt you were a bit chilly.”

“I was a little, but as I told you, my body didn’t shiver due to the cold.”

“Why did it shake, then?”, he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, if you must know, when I get excited by a person whom I like, his touch makes me tremor”, as I finished my answer, Flavius started touching my chest. “But not just any touch, I’m not ticklish. It has to be a passionate touch, an arousing one, and not on any place on my body…”, I didn’t get to finish my explanation, because his hands were playing on my entire torso, but when he reached the sides of my abs, he made the skin move to his touches, and my muscles to lightly convulse.

“You mean like this?”, he asked, with a smirk.

“Ah… l-like that-t…”, it felt so good to have him touch me.

I have spent the rest of the day in bed, with Flavius caring for me and my needs. I wasn’t bossing him around. It was not in my nature to behave like that. I would have even gotten up and made myself something to eat. But he insisted I lay in bed, and let him do everything.

He made me a delicious plate of French toast, with a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice and a hot mug of coffee. For someone who doesn’t eat at all, he prepares the most marvelous of meals. And they were not fancy, Michelin restaurant dishes, but common ones. If these were extraordinary, I only wondered how the real fastidious ones would turn out. Probably perfect, like him.

Flavius even helped and carried me to the bathroom as I expressed my need to take a hot bath. The tub was already full and steaming with water. He put me on the side of the tub and left, offering me privacy. He was well mannered as well. I took my boxers off and inspected my body. Other than the swollen foot, it seemed okay. I just smelled of smoke and wanted to get rid of its presence.

I don’t know why Flavius is so harsh on himself. I don’t know how he behaved millennia ago, but the past is the past for a reason. That’s what I always told myself. It was so long ago, that it didn’t even matter in my eyes. Nobody is perfect, as we are all human. To err is human. But he wasn’t human anymore, he was the unliving, having fed on the life force of others to sustain himself or to pleasure his needs. To me, it didn’t matter, as for me he was Flavius, the one I cared for.

After my bath, he took me back into bed. He undressed his T-shirt in front of me, revealing a sculpted torso, perfection describing what I was looking at. Impeccable lines travelled his body, defining its borders. I got instantly hard. He must have felt my blood rushing to other parts, because he excused himself and left to wash, to my great disappointment.

As we sat in bed, cuddled, I slowly fell into the world of dreams.

I woke up to realize I was still in Flavius’ bed, but alone. I got up and went to the window, pulled the drapes away to let the light flood into the room. I didn’t know there was a small balcony before so I opened the door and stepped out. 

It was a warm day, contrary to the actual November weather we had in Bucharest. It seemed to be summer because I was getting quite hot, the trees all had their leaves and the smell of linden hung into the air. It was a very warm month of June.

The view from the balcony was pretty nice, there were lots of trees and beautiful houses as far as my eyes could see. I stood there, bathing in the sun, but before I wanted to go back inside, it looked as if the horizon was coming toward me.

With a bright flash of light, I soon realized I was transported, somehow to one of the sea cities, more precisely Constanta. I knew which city it was because I was standing next to the old Casino building, in the port of Tomis. I was the only one standing on the man-made seafront, looking at the waves crashing into the concrete walls below. 

A white mist occurred out of nowhere and the environment around me started to change. It seemed as if I was travelling back in time. As my surroundings reverted to ages long gone, I saw how that part of the city looked like in every era of its existence, only in fast forward. I went far back in time, even past the founding of the ancient city of Tomis, by the ancient Greek colonists.

The mist had dissipated and everything around me stopped changing. I was still standing on the seafront, but on grass and behind me were trees. In front, the great Black Sea expanded to infinity. All of a sudden, the dark waters had retreated, while grass and plants started to appear in the newly formed land.

I floated towards the newly formed, vast plane until I had reached what looked like an ancient settlement. It was quite odd, because, in the present, it would have been under tens of meters of seawater. But it was rather fascinating to have the chance to see how this area looked like in the distant past, to which I was transported.

I stopped floating and touched the fresh grass with my bare feet. It was wet and moist, but very soft. The air didn’t smell like salty sea anymore and I could hear the sounds of birds and other ancient creatures. Far in the distance a familiar trunk-like sound could be picked up. Could it be that it had come from a mammoth?

I walked toward the so-called settlement, which consisted of small huts made out of wood, animal bones, and hides, all arranged in a circular position. In the center of this little village stones were placed around the lingering embers of a dying fire. It was sometime in the afternoon and the inhabitants were moving from here to there, going about their business.

I could see wolfish-looking dogs running around their masters, hoping to get some food, making those well-known begging faces. Children would either help their elders in their work or play around the huts. In the distance I saw a man; I had the feeling of familiarity with him. He was carrying the corpse of a deer around his neck and shoulders and a dog followed him, with loyalty. When he reached the center of the establishment, the other humans greeted him, thanking him for the meat he had brought.

He was wearing a pair of leathery boots, with strings tied around his feet to hold them in place, a pair of leather pants covered his legs on their entire length and a furry shirt-like coat kept his torso warm. He was quite tall, even from afar, and his golden locks shone in the afternoon sun. He was pretty well built and seemed very strong. He looked kind of hot to be honest, even if he was probably thousands of years from the past. The man looked over the heads of his fellows and caught my gaze.

The coldness of the stare hit me in the face like a quick breeze, a few seconds after he had turned his head toward me. He started to walk in my direction and, as he neared me, I knew who the man was. My heart hastened its beat and I could feel a force between the two of us, attracting us, leading him to me. It was Flavius.

“Claudius?!”, he said in surprise.

The way he approached me in dialogue was very odd. It didn’t seem like he was a character in my dream. He wasn’t a mere figment of my subconscious; he was aware of it being an oneiric state of mind.

“Claudius, how can you be present in my dream?”, he asked.

“In your dream?”, I was confused.

“Yes. This is what I am dreaming about.”

“But this is my dream. Or, it should have been”, I answered.

“It seems that we are dreaming about the same thing”, he replied, smiling. 

“I didn’t know I could travel into other’s dreams. I didn’t mean to intrude. If only I knew how to leave or wake up…”, I excused myself.

“No, please don’t leave. Stay with me for a while”, he pleaded.

“I can’t refuse that smile of yours”, I think I blushed a little when I told him that. If one can blush in dreams.

“This is the perfect occasion for you to see how my life was before I turned”, he said anxiously.

“This is actually a part of a long-gone reality?”, I couldn’t believe it.

“Yes. In the present, this entire plane is covered by the Black Sea, but nine thousand years ago, the sea was only a freshwater lake, much, much smaller.”

“This is very fascinating! Were you a hunter? I saw the deer and figured.”

“Among other things, yes”, he answered. “Now come with me”.

Flavius took my hand and led me to a nearby stream, which in the present would have been the Danube, had the sea not existed. We passed the small line of water and reached a vast grassy plain. In the distance I saw wooly rhinoceros and mammoths, among other herbivores of the era, grazing. The sounds of nature were very different than the ones I knew. We walked until we reached the large animals. They were beautiful, truly mastodonts. 

He put some grass into my palm and told me to reach out. When I did so, a wooly trunk tickled me while grabbing the juicy grass.  Flavius told me they didn’t hunt these creatures, they lived together in harmony, respecting each other. The only game would have been the deer and occasionally a saber-tooth tiger. 

As the day made way for nightfall, Flavius took me into his hut. It was gloomy, but warm and cozy. As we lay down on a hay bed, he held me into his arms and started kissing the back of my neck. I was slowly getting aroused as I was pushing my ass into his pelvis. He responded by poking back, letting me feel his hard bulge.

I turned around and gently pushed him on his back while I sat on top of him, his body between my legs, his hard cock protruding through his leather pants, my ass resting on it. He had taken off his wooly coat, leaving a muscly bare chest for me to feel with my fingers. In the dark of the hut, his eyes glowed red with passion. 

He pulled me towards his lips and when they touched, I could feel a jolt traveling through my entire body, as did Flavius feel a jolt traversing his body. He kept undulating his pelvis up and down, like calm waves, while I responded to his action by pressing against it. That made him let out a whispery moan that drove me crazy. 

He tore off the shirt I was wearing, the cold air from outside hitting my back, giving me goosebumps. His fingers played with my hardened nipples while my tongue was playing on his neck, making him moan louder. The moment I unexpectedly bit the skin on his neck his strong hands grabbed my waist and with a swift, but gentle turn, I was lying on my back with my legs wrapped around his butt. 

His ember eyes looked into mine, sending pleasant chills, caressing my face. His pelvis rested on my buttocks and his erect cock pressed hard through the fabric of my pants, trying to reach between my cheeks. As his arms were wrapped around my torso, my legs were wrapped around his waist. His dick was continually pushing through my clothes, trying to make its way inside my ass. He came closer and closer to my face and gave me a passionate kiss. As the moment intensified between us, I could see streams of light coursing through his veins. Each kiss sent a spark from my lips, which traversed his entire body.

I felt the ground shake, the touch and the weight of his body getting lighter and lighter until it faded into nothingness. All I could see was blackness, then a fleshy, red light on my eyelids.

When I opened my eyes, I saw Flavius, standing under me. How did I get on top of him?

“Good morning sunshine”, he said, then offered me a kiss.

“Good morning”, I said after our lips departed. “How did I get… I’m sorry”, I said while I tried to get off him. I didn’t want to invade his personal space.

“Where do you think you’re going?”, he asked while he pulled me back on top of him.

“I…I didn’t want to intrude”, I said while burying my head into his chest.

“Hey, look at me”, he said as I rose my head, looking into those beautiful blue eyes. “You will never intrude on anything that is related to me.” Then he kissed me again, longer, deeper, sucking every breath I exhaled. But he stopped.

“No, why did you stop?”, I protested.

“It has been so long since I touched a human, as you know. I need to be cautious not to break your bones in my grip. We need to take it slow until I am sure my strength is no danger to your life”, he replied, smiling at me.

“I understand”, I was a bit sad, and he caught my mood.

“Don’t be sad Claudius, there will be time for that. How’s your leg?”, he changed the subject.

“Actually, pretty good. I don’t feel any pain. That’s odd”, I said.

“Can I take a look?”, Flavius offered.

“Sure”.

He took the duvet off our bodies and went to inspect my leg. He was also wearing just a pair of shorts which hugged his perfect ass. I couldn’t see his font too well, but I got a glimpse of a bulge. When his cold fingers touched my ankle, it made the hairs on my entire body rise, and my cock pulsated once. He saw that and looked at me smiling. He put his hand on my hard cock, the contrast of his cold hand on my hot rod so evident, but rousingly pleasant, and whispered to it “Soon!”.

“Your ankle has completely healed. I think you can even stand and walk, now”, he said happily.

“How can that be possible? It hurt like hell a day ago”, I said while checking it myself.

“While you were sleeping, you healed it”, he answered.

“I didn’t know I could do that.”

“It may be a subconscious action of your mind, taking over the process of healing”, he said.

“How is it that you are undead, but you sleep and dream?”

“It’s not actually sleeping, but more of a state of torpor. And the dreams are more of myself travelling the astral plane, in spirit form, if you may call it that.”

“That’s what Lavinia thought about me and my dreams. Sometimes I have these eerie dreams that physically materialize”, I didn’t continue with what my dreams were really about.

“Since we both have been touched by magic, it is a very verisimilar situation”, he replied.

“Flavius, can I ask how you were created?”, I shyly asked.

“I was created like you were”, he replied with a smirk.

“No, I was referring to how you were made into a strigoi”, I said.

“I know, I just love the face you make before you offer an explanation”, Flavius said and leaned to kiss me. “But before that, you should eat some breakfast.”

“Promise me if I eat, you will tell me your story”, I asked.

“I promise.”

But it didn’t happen, as Flavius had received an urgent phone call regarding one of his businesses and had to leave. He felt horrible for leaving me like that, I could sense it in him, but I understood the situation and didn’t get upset. He offered me to stay here until he returned, but I wanted to go home, maybe call Lavinia and talk to her about what happened that night.

After Flavius’ car left the parking lot of my neighborhood, I went inside my apartment, threw myself on the bed, and gazed at the ceiling. I was processing all that had happened these few days. The fun I had with my friend in the club, the panicked people, the face Lavinia made when she saw I couldn’t get out with her. That image sent unpleasant chills in my body. The eerie dream I had about the throne room, about Liviu. We had sex in my dream, but it felt so real. Me waking up in Flavius’ bed and then seeing the joy on his face when he found out I felt better.

I couldn’t process what I was feeling, or I didn’t want to admit to myself, but that perception of a lump in my chest, its heaviness, its warmth, and its enjoyable presence, made me think of the idea that I was developing feelings for Flavius. I didn’t know if I should rejoice and accept it or conceal and reject it. One thing I knew for sure and that was Flavius’ presence was good for me.

Also, I didn’t want to mislead him, nor cause him to pain in any way. I don’t know what I was thinking when I kept insisting for him to continue caressing me. What would I have done if things went further? Could I have proceeded until the end? And if I did, how would I feel about myself afterward?

If my guilt got to me as I would still be in his home if my nausea made me throw up, how could I have explained it to him? His senses would surely alert him that something was wrong with me. I wouldn’t want him to deal with my crazy, just yet. He has no obligations toward me, even if his intentions are sincere, pure. I would have to sort out this grief I keep for Liviu. I had to find a way to let him go, to permit myself to let go of him.

I called Lavinia to see how she was doing. The calling tone had to ring once, then her voice could be heard. She almost burst into tears when she heard my voice. They were both of pain and happiness that I was alright. I soon found out she was perfectly fine physically, but mentally she was still shocked by the event. Even with her magic powers, that doesn’t make her apathetic of the dangers of everyday life.

I was glad my friend was healthy and consoled myself with the thought that she will recover, in time, from her mental shock. She asked me about Flavius and I told her the truth. Lavinia had suspected him for a while, for a cloud of mystery engulfed him, but she never thought he was a strigoi.

I told her about my dream in the round throne room, and about all the other dreams. She didn’t like what I had told her. I didn’t like the way she reacted. Her attitude, on the phone, sounded like I was in danger. I believe I kind of knew the situation would aggravate, but I kept telling myself it was just my magic manifesting. It was much more.

“Claudius, you should have told me from the beginning”, she said.

“I know, but I didn’t want to bother you with my issues.”

“Don’t ever think like that. You’re my friend, I love you and would do anything for you”.

“I love you too, Lavinia. I’m sorry.”