I passed him as I was carrying the last of my stuff into my new townhome. I was only paying partial attention as it had been a long, hot day of moving. Nonetheless, and despite not seeing his face, my brain immediately registered him as attractive and filed it away for later.
For the past 30 years since I was in my late teens I’ve known I’ve been sexually attracted to guys, but have worked hard to suppress those feelings and stuff them down. Now in my 50’s and recently divorced I’ve started to unpack all those suppressed feelings with a good therapist and am slowly letting go and allowing myself to feel and enjoy them. Guilt and shame run deep. This is the first time I’ve lived on my own having moved from living with a roommate right into moving in with my wife. So much was both new, exciting and also terrifying.
The townhome I chose is not luxurious, but it is very nice, in a desirable, urban part of town and seems to have a wide range of residents from young adults to retirees. Definitely not a swinging singles place but also not stuffy and pretentious. Because of this, I was actually open to getting to know my neighbors as a way to help me from the natural tendency to be reclusive (a suggestion from the therapist!) especially since I work from home.
Other than my job, I enjoy going to see live bands, some college sports and working out. I have always prioritized the gym as it was a healthy outlet for all my frustrations at work, with family and the pressure I felt from some much sexual suppression. The side benefit is that it kept me in pretty good shape. My 5’10” frame is pretty well proportioned and my physique is commonly described as “sturdy.” My quads and calves are well developed (I’m blessed with good genetics there), my chest and arms are definitely muscled, but not overly toned or cut. What physically stands out to most at first is my body hair. It’s dark and dense but not really evident until you see my trunk and torso. There was a time it bothered me and I was good about keeping things shaved, but now I kinda enjoy it and just do some “grooming” as needed. The dark hair against my bright blue eyes is what people comment most about when they meet me. I’m blessed with a decent ass that is still firm and has hair deep in my crack. My dick is average, cut and I’ve been told it’s “pretty.” It’s nestled in a dense bush that practically goes up to my navel. I do groom my balls which would otherwise disappear (and I love to play with them as I masturbate).
The gym provides a lot of great eye candy and has definitely been fodder for decades of masturbatory fantasies. Had I tried, I may have been able to have some playtime with guys from the gym, but I think I was so repressed, I never set off anyone's gaydar and I certainly would never make the first move.
Over time, it became clear though that I had a type that I found attractive based on the guys that I chose to beat off to and the intensity of the orgasm I had. They were typically shorter (5’6” to 5’8”), lighter skin and hair, a big ass, thick legs, arms and chest. I guess this is the body builder type but without the ridiculously low body fat that makes them a fitness-model cut. Perhaps this is a fetish, but when I guy has a small cock, big, fit ass combo, I’m in heat. One of my favorite gym pastimes was scoping out the guys lifting free weights who fit this description and trying to catch a glimpse of them in the locker room, sauna or showers to use when fucking a woman or my hand.
For so long, I thought I was alone being in a relationship with a woman but fantasizing about being with men physically, emotionally and sexually. It would have been easy for me to get on one of the apps, or go to a gay bar to seek a hookup, but 1. I did not have the courage to do that; 2. I was intimidated by my lack of sexual experience with men 3. My lack of knowledge and fears about being taken advantage of, diseases and protection; 4. My conscience. After lots of online exploration I realized that my situation, feelings and behaviors were not nearly as uncommon as I thought and actually went into the rabbit hole of paid male escorts. Despite browsing countless ads on what seemed to be pretty reputable sites full of guys that seemed interesting, I could not follow through because of many of the things I mentioned above.
My first sexual experience with another man was at age 48 during an erotic massage. I intentionally sought out a masseuse who provided discreet, extra services and the first time I caressed another guy's body, held his cock, kissed him and received a Happy ending, there was no question this was something missing in my life. I continued seeing this masseuse and overtime he became my “gay sherpa” coaching me in things like giving head, how to use my tongue and spit to enhance the experience, rimming and relaxing an asshole, finding and massaging the prostate and many of the positives and the challenges of hooking up and being part of the gay community. (I actually have recounted experiences with him in previous stories here.) While this satisfied the connection I was craving, helped educate me and got me through some of my more feral periods, the relationship was transactional. John was an amazing guy, very professional and always stayed in-the-moment during our sessions. However, I really wanted to take the next step which to me was a mutual attraction and connection with another guy. But for now, this and my palm were my only outlets.
I definitely had a type that I was attracted to evident by my PornHub history and perhaps this indicates some psychological condition, but they’re built similar to me - under 6 feet (around 5’8” - 5’10” was my sweet spot), work on their body but not cut or afraid to eat a cheeseburger, big round ass, natural body hair and an average to below average dick. I’m more attracted to the body type than race as I get just as turned on my light hair skin and I do darker and swarthier guys. My masseuse John labeled me a bottom but I think on the spectrum, I’m closer to versatile. I love eating ass and fantasize about working and loosening a guy up so much that it’s natural for me to drive my cock into him.
The guy that caught my attention as I was moving into my new place made an impression on me because he checked all those physical boxes. I had really not given him a second thought until I ran into him again a few weeks later at our shared mailboxes. I was working hard to get a better look at him without coming across as creepy but he must have noticed the box I was opening and asked if I just moved into #426. I said “yes” I introduced myself with the basics and he did as well, telling me his name was Luke and that he knew my townhome well because friends of his parents had lived in it before me. That led to a discussion about changes I was planning on making and an invite to his place to check out some of the remodeling he had done to his place which was four units away and nearly identical to mine. While I was extremely interested in taking him up on this invitation, I had to ask for a raincheck because I was heading to an appointment. We exchanged numbers and agreed to connect over the next few days.
Luke looked like he was dressed for the gym. He was wearing black shorts which were probably 5” that clung to his incredibly meaty ass and thighs. His 5’10” frame had the exact proportions I’m often drawn to. He was wearing a white lifting shirt, a bit oversized but appeared to be cropped a bit as the bottom hem hit slightly above the waistband of his shorts, giving me a glimpse of the light fur on his belly. I would describe his physique as “thick.” He did not have six pack abs but he did not have much of a gut either but the general sturdiness of a guy who likes to lift weights. I could see his upper arms and shoulders and they too looked strong and proportional to his frame. He looked to be about 10 years younger than me – had a cute, kinda boyish face, dark reddish-brown hair and well trimmed beard with just a bit of grey showing through. He’s got a really friendly face that kinda naturally smiles when he talks to you, which makes him both endearing and even more attractive. I of course watched his ass move as he walked back toward his house after our conversation.
I was out most of the rest of the day and got home just before 6 to find a six pack of beer at my front door. It was a “welcome to the neighborhood” gift from Luke with an invite to come by the next day (Sunday) around 5 to check out the work he’s done to his house. I quickly texted him back to thank him and tell him I’d see him then.
Since it was cocktail time, I brought the chilled beers over to his place that Sunday. He greeted me at the door, similarly dressed as the day before but this time in a pair of gray cut off sweats and a black tee. When he saw the beer in my hand he smiled that infectious grin and said “you read my mind.” Luke’s vibe was really good and honestly I was much more excited about the prospect of having a friendly neighbor and buddy than anything else. Don’t get me wrong, though. I definitely was still checking him out but I knew nothing about him and speculating about his sexuality at that point was not on my radar screen.
We walked directly into the kitchen where we both opened our beers and he proceeded to start there with his tour of changes, showing me how he moved walls and reconfigured the floorplan to be more open and more conducive to how people live today. My place was all original from the 70’s - very cut up and dated and seeing what Luke did got me really excited about what was possible to make my place fit my life. After the tour we went out to his back patio where he asked me “how did you pick this place” which led to a discussion about my history, my ex-wife and where I’m at in life right now. He listened intently and was disarmingly empathetic and supportive. I shifted the conversation to him, starting with what he did for work. He explained that he was a psychologist, grew up in the town and had never been married. That led into a deeper discussion about psychotherapy because it’s something that fascinates me.
As he was talking I noticed him adjust his crotch a few times. I could not help but notice and at one point I thought I could see the imprint of the head of what appeared to be a cut cock on his grey sweats. My mind processed this glimpse while it could not calculate his penis size, it did provide evidence he did not have a monster cock in there (and that he does not wear underwear).
It was great to connect with a guy on a deeper level so quickly. Lots of times, guys don’t open up with each other right away and there is a lot of posturing. But with Luke, it seemed effortless and after 2.5 hours together, I actually felt like I knew him and would enjoy hanging out with him again. He offered to get some takeout, but I felt I’d already overstayed my welcome but did commit to grabbing dinner together one night that week.
That Wednesday he texted me to ask if I wanted to go to this local pub (that has great sandwiches) to watch the Duke/UNC game the next night and as an avid NCAA basketball fan, I quickly said “yes.” He said he’d walk down and knock on my door at 5:30 and we could head over together.
The pub was about a 10 minute walk and once inside, you could tell it had been there for years. Luke said in fact, he used to go there as a kid with his Dad. There was no shortage of screens, but unlike other pubs I had been to, this was much more conducive to talking vs the screaming that’s necessary at other sportsbars. We ordered beers and quickly picked up the conversation where we had left off a few days earlier with me asking him questions about his work. I explained I had not had therapy until my relationship with my wife started to degrade and the issues got acute. He shared he does a lot of coupes work and how emotionally charged the work is. He really opened up about the challenges of his job but how what also keeps him going is the positive impact he can have on people’s lives. He was remarkably vulnerable when talking about his relationships and their challenges while counseling others on theirs. He asked me in as non-therapist way as he could how I was managing through the end of my marriage and if I felt ready to start dating again. At that point I paused and looked away, I could feel my eyes welling up and clearly Luke knew he had struck a nerve. Rather than push and pursue as I imagine a therapist would, he stayed silent for a minute, put his hand on top of mine and said “it’s OK” and you don’t need to talk about it. I was much more overcome with emotion than I would have expected and said “I’m good” but I have learned that I had been holding so much inside of me that it was likely to come out in fits and spurts like this.” Again, he assured me that he got it and with his hand still on top of mind stayed silent.
When I got my composure back I shared more about how I’m learning to work through so much shame and guilt with my therapist and the work is so hard for me right now. Again, he said nothing but stayed connected and while it was hard for me to look him in the eyes, I could tell he was staring at my face. There was a lot going on in the screens around the room, but our booth was silent. Neither of us spoke until I, while still looking down at the table mustered up the courage to reveal to Luke that it took until my 50’s to come to terms with my sexuality. As a therapist, I figured he’d heard it all before, but it was still utterly terrifying for me to say those words out loud, especially to someone I barely know.
The first thought that came to my head was “oh shit, I just ruined a potential friendship" which are few and far between at my age. But being the professional that he is, Luke just continued to listen. Without being dismissive, he kinda took it in stride. Eventually he just said, “yeah I get how hard that was to say outloud.” He didn’t have to say something trite like “that does not change how I look at you,” but simply by looking up from the table at him, all I had to do was look at his face to feel acceptance. At the risk of this turning into a therapy session, I tried to steer the discussion in a different direction and asked him what was good on the menu. Nothing more was said on the topic over dinner where the topic shifted to working out.
We talked our approaches to fitness, diet, where and how often we worked out. At one point in the conversation he said “you must be a heavy squatter because your glutes and quads are tremendous. It’s not uncommon for guys who work out to talk body parts but his use of the word “tremendous” gave me a little bit of a pause. He could have used a whole bunch of different adjectives to indicate appearance but he chose one that had a positive connotation vs just reference to size. I proceeded to talk through my training program and also that I was blessed with good genetics. I went on to admit that one of the first things I noticed about him was his butt and that I guess I’m an “ass man.” He laughed it off and said he too was “born that way,” which I optimistically read into as well.
We proceeded to talk about a bunch of topics from politics, to college sports to what we’re streaming at the moment. I was really enjoying being around Luke and the fact that I was attracted to him as well was just a bonus. We had been talking for over three hours, with little attention paid to the game we went to see.
In addition to putting his hand on mine when I was getting vulnerable at dinner, he patted my arm, put his hand on my back just momentarily a few times as we were leaving the pub. Our conversation continued on our walk back to our places and about a quarter of the way into the walk he casually grasped my hand without interrupting what we were talking about. I flinched a little but quickly went with it as if it’s something normal that guys do and quite frankly really enjoyed it. I could not tell if he was just a touchy kinda guy, or just being friendly and supportive. Regardless, I just went with it. Honestly I was reluctant to mention anything, naively thinking that I was being presumptuous if I attached meaning to it. It did not register until later that this was my first public display of affection with a guy.
We got to his door first and I said it was great to find a friend close by and that I looked forward to hanging out with him more. I put out my hand to shake his but instead he pulled me in for a hug. It was tight and lingered and much more than a bro hug. After a few back pats we released the hug and as we did, he was looking directly in my eyes and had this thoughtful look on his face that I could not read. Then he shocked the hell out of me by leaning in for a kiss. It was not a polite, European thing. It was a full on lip lock. His tongue parted my lips and my mouth instinctively opened and reciprocated. We were fully and passionately making out and for the first time in a long time, my dick got rock hard while I was fully clothed just from a kiss.
To say I was lost in a euphoric state is an understatement. Something that I had fantasized about for years was actually happening. A billion questions were running through my mind but in a way that was uncharacteristic for me up to that point - I did not overthink what was going on and just went with it. We broke away for a second while he opened his door and gently pulled me inside. With the door closed, we kissed deeply again in his entry, this time our hands began to explore. Mine dropped down to feel the initial object of my desire, his ass which was as tight and full as I imagined. Luke's hand went down my front over my shirt, first squeezing my chest, then running his thumbs over my nipples then down to my crotch. He rubbed and squeezed my cock and balls which were stretching toward my belly button tightly inside my boxer briefs. I must of whispered “you’re so fucking hot” a dozen times before I said if we don’t stop for a minute I’m going to come. The words I thought would make him slow down only made him more aggressive with his groping, squeezing my cock through my pants and whispering what he wanted to do to me in my ear.
This took me well beyond the edge and I started ejaculating. They were so intense my legs were buckling and Luke had to put his arm around my back to keep me upright. Even after what I think was 7-8 long volleys of cum, my cock was having intense and pleasurable spasms long after the semen flow stopped. I now truly understood the term “mind-blowing orgasm.” Looking back, I also did not get that post-nut clarity I sometimes do that leads to regret, guilt or shame and zapped of all horniness. I was actually energized and still had a lot of room left in my “satiation tank.”
When the orgasm after shocks subsided, Luke let go of me a bit, looked at my face and went in for another deep kiss. After which he said “it looks like we need to do something about that mess we made in your pants” which had at this point created a huge wet spot through to the outside of my light khaki shorts. Luke suggested that I shower off and he'd put my clothes in the washing machine, which while kind seemed unnecessary since I lived a few doors down. But I went with it because it meant this did not have to end. I also told Luke only on the condition that he join me in the shower.
He led me over to where his washer and dryer were and I stripped off all my clothes - shoes, socks, shirt, my shorts and then my soaked briefs. I was very aware of the power dynamic of stripping in front of Luke who was still fully clothed. My dick often goes into “dead soldier” mode after I come, shriveling up to less than its normal flaccid state (I’m definitely a grower, not a shower), but while not erect it was still a bit pumped up from its normal resting state. After removing my briefs I gave my dick a squeeze and fluffed up my dense black pubes that were matted down from all my ejaculate and kinda presented my naked body for Luke to look at. He looked me up and down with a sly grin on his face then put my soaked underwear up to his nose giving it a big inhale, ran his finger the wet crotch and sensually sucked his finger before putting it in the washer. He then looked at me and said “I think my clothes need to be cleaned as well and right there, slowly stepped out of his clothes. Sandals first, then his nicely fitting black tee and finally his pants. He was a commando. His body was everything I love - naturally muscled. I did not know where to look first. His pecs were nicely shaped and proportionate and lightly covered in short curly hair, his red area surrounding his nipples were on the larger side and his nipples were erect and ready to be licked. His belly was also covered in fur and was fairly flat, but soft with just a bit of extra padding. His pubes were darker and fuller than the rest of his body hair. His softening cock was more pink than the rest of his skin, short, wide and cut. The head and just a small part of his shaft was visible with the rest covered by his bush. While small, it hung fairly heavy. His balls were a nice size, dropping slightly below the head of his cock.
I followed behind him to his bathroom. His back was strong and broad like his chest and fairly hairless and I could have watched the perfectly round mounds of his ass move all day. While his asscheeks were also relatively hair free, the thicker fur from his crotch traveled up the crack of his ass.
Luke asked me to get the shower running at the temperature I wanted while he pulled out some towels for us. I stepped in first and immediately began to rinse off the now crusting load surrounding my entire groin area and then quickly moved underneath my balls and into my asscrack and hole to ensure no lingering smells had built up since my last shower earlier in the day. Despite the intimacy we’d already shared that day, I was trembling a bit when Luke stepped into the shower from both intimidation and anticipation. I knew the first thing I wanted to do was go down on him. Not only did I want to return the favor but I wanted to have his cock in my mouth both out of lust and a desire to connect. He immediately grabbed my face and we had another deep probing kiss. Both our hands slowly moved down to each other's ass. I broke away from the kiss and slowly squatted down eye level to Luke’s dick which seemed almost fully erect. I put my nose in his pubes and took a big inhale, smelling a little muskiness I presumed accumulated from walking outdoors without underwear. It was not at all unpleasant and combined with the soap, was actually intoxicating. I continued to inhale while also giving his shaft a few squeezes to get a feel for his size. He had an incredibly suckable cock - big enough to feel in my mouth, small enough for me to fully engulf up to his pubes. Still squatting down, I gave my penis a quick tug then placed both hands on his ass, spit on the head of his cock and guided it into my mouth. I swirled my tongue around the tip and licked back and forth and around on his frenulum which made his dick visibly tighten even more. With that, I dove in and went to work. Balls deep and caressing the underside of his dick with my tongue. I could feel his head at the back of my throat just short of choking range. He grunted how good my throat felt. I was determined to get Luke off quickly and alternated between having it in my mouth, stroking it with my fist and making a circle with my fingers and jacking him while simultaneously spit sucking his head. When my hands were not on his dick, they started to migrate from his ass to his hole. At one point I quickly spun him around to spit in his crack then spun him back to return to my cocksucking while letting a finger circle and press against his spit lubed anus.
This continued for several minutes until his breathing reached that tell tale point that told me he was close. While I could have easily backed off at this point, he did not ask me to nor did I want to so I went for it, focusing on holding his dick in my mouth and tonguing it. I could feel the tremble before he announced he was about to come. I made the split second decision to keep his dick in my mouth instead of pulling off. I had never had someone come in my mouth and I was so hot to try it. He let out a guttural moan as the first shot of cum hit the back of my throat. I could not taste it yet but I could feel its warmth and texture. As I tried to swallow it, Luke shot again. This one had more volume and more than my ambitious mind could handle. I managed to swallow a fair amount but a bunch definitely seeped out the side of my mouth. I stayed on him until the contractions stopped and I could feel his shaft softening in my mouth. I pulled off but did not stand back up until the whole area was clean of sperm. Once I got up we immediately kissed again, locking tongues. Luke commented how surprisingly good his sperm tasted in my mouth.
We finished cleaning ourselves off but not before I crouched down again, this time spreading his cheeks to clean his hole and explore it a little with my tongue. I was still uncharacteristically horned up (my refractory period had definitely lengthened as I’ve aged), and while I was chubbed up, my cock was not ready to return to the granite-like state it was in when Luke got me off earlier.
Luke and I dried ourselves off, wrapped the towels around our waists and moved our clothes from the washer to the dryer. He got us a couple of beers and we sat down on his sofa. While I was definitely in a state of bliss, I had so many questions running through my mind. What was this - a one night stand? An experimentation? What is Luke’s backstory? I realized I shared a lot about me but knew very little about him. Hell, I did not even have a clue he was sexually interested until he kissed me.
Facing Luke while looking into his eyes, I opened up my towel and played with by cock as I drank my beer.
To get in touch with the author, send them an email.
