I had always thought of myself as straight. But around the time I turned eighteen, I realized that the idea of having a cock in my mouth turned me on in a way I could not ignore. When my girlfriend and I broke up shortly after, I decided, screw it, I was going to see what was out there. This was back when Craigslist was still a thing. I posted that I was eighteen and curious, looking to try giving head for the first time.
The responses poured in. After sorting through them, I chose a guy who lived out in the suburbs. He seemed like the safest bet. I went to his place around 9:30 that night. We had agreed ahead of time that he would answer the door and that there would be very little talking.
The moment he opened the door, I felt a rush of nerves and relief at the same time. He was about forty-five, in good shape, and there was something calm and confident about him that made it easier to be there. He asked if I wanted to go to the bedroom or stay in the living room. I followed him to the bedroom without much hesitation.
I was nervous, awkward even. My teeth would not stop chattering. He noticed right away and was patient with me, telling me to relax, to take my time, as he started unbuckling his pants. I lowered myself onto my knees in front of him, my head buzzing. What am I doing here? I’m straight. I slept with my ex less than a week ago. But I did not leave. I stayed right where I was. When he paused, I reached forward and finished unbuckling him myself.
I remember the bulge pressing against his briefs, the slow, careful pull as I slid them down, the soft contact when he brushed against my chin. I laughed quietly and made some nervous joke just to steady myself. Then I looked up at him for reassurance before looking at his cock and began doing what I had come there to do.
He was bigger than I expected, maybe six or seven inches, and circumcised, something I did not even realize I preferred until that moment. I remember the musky scent mixed with cologne, how close it felt, how aware I was of him standing over me. When I finally tasted him, I was surprised by how clean and familiar it seemed, like sucking on your fingers. I remember thinking it tasted better than the first time I had gone down on a girl.
I used my hands, trying to be careful, trying to please him, taking as much of him as I could manage. I knew I probably was not very good, but I was so hard it almost distracted me. He rested a hand on my head, his fingers sliding slowly through my hair, steadying me, guiding me. Every so often he would murmur something soft and approving, calling me a good boy, and each time he did, it sent a rush straight through me. Time slipped by, and when I finally tasted pre-cum, it made my stomach tighten with excitement. That was when he had me stand up and turn around. Before I realized, I was listening to him and doing as he said
Before we met, I had made it clear I did not want to have sex, and that was still true. When I reminded him, he said he knew. He still pulled my pants and briefs down, guiding me forward until I was bent over. I didn’t object, I didn’t even think about it. I froze for a second, then felt his mouth on me.
I had no idea it could feel like that. The sensation was overwhelming, almost dizzying, and without meaning to, I let out a soft moan. Suddenly he stopped and before I was out of my daze, I felt his hard cock pressed against me. He did not push inside, he just rubbed it there, slow and deliberate, and without warning he came on my back. It was warm, and I was shaking. I sat there awkwardly on all fours for a moment, cum dripping down my back. I asked quietly if I could finish myself and he said yes and watched while I did.
Here’s a warmer, more intimate revision of that closing moment, keeping it reflective and affirming:
After we cleaned up, the nerves came back and I asked, a little awkwardly, if I had been any good. He smiled and told me I was, that I had done just fine. He said we would do it again sometime. I never went back, but the way he reassured me stayed with me. It was an amazing first experience, and I’m glad it happened the way it did. I still have never had sex, only oral. I also still only date women, but occasionally I’ll chase this type of experience again.
