My Summer Internship at the University of Cambridge

Chapter 5

 Last night the group arranged to go and watch the Barbie movie this evening. We managed to find seats together in one row. Although I called in sick yesterday I spoke to my supervisor and asked if I could work from home as I felt a little sniffly from being caught in yesterday’s rain. As I sat on my desk coding and quantifying data the time felt like it dragged on and the task felt more and more tedious to do, I gazed at the garden and was lost in the greenery, watching the countryside dragon flies, butterflies, magpies and squirrels roam around. Today was not as warm as it had been the last couple of weeks my room felt cold. I didn’t have much clothes to wrap up in but I am glad Rudds left his hoodie, which I snuggled up in. The group decided to meet at the Picture-house for the movie, which is to begin at 6:30pm. Most of them decided to go straight from work to grab some dinner at the local Wetherspoons, right next to the cinema.

 At around 6pm I decided to make my way to meet them all.

 “Jay!” Beatrice says gleefully. We begin catching up on today’s data task and share our pain.

“How are you feeling Jay?” Ethan asks.

 “Well clearly he had a great day!” Ruth says sarcastically.

 “Huh?” I question. Everyone now listening in.

 “Sick day my arse! You were seeing someone weren’t you?” she asks.

 “H…Huh?? I begin laughing nervously. “What do you mean?”

 “I mean this!” she points at the left side of my neck and everyone peers in.

 “OMG JAY!!” Beatrice slaps me on my arm. “Is that a hickey?? Who are you seeing and why haven’t you told me??”

 “Oh Gosh, please don’t tell me it’s your ex?” Brooklyn adds (I told them about my first girlfriend, who is from North Cambridge).

 “What?? NO! it’s no one, it’s just a bruise!” I say, trying to look at it from my iPhone front camera.

 “Oh, come on Jay – we are all adults here. You don’t need to hide it.” Ruth eggs on.

 “It…It’s…” I say, now getting nervous as I look across to Ethan.

 “Alright, alright. Leave the poor lad alone, he’s entitled to his own privacy. Let’s go in and grab our seats.” Ethan says, ushering them through.

 I stand back now, not wanting to watch the movie. Embarrassed by the confrontation and just not feeling well in general. I want to go back to the house. As we all print our tickets and some get snacks, we finally make our way through to the screen. I am at the back and I notice Ethan standing back now.

“Are you okay?” he whispers. I nod at him.

 Everyone slides their way into the seat aisle. After Jas it is Ethan and finally me, I sit to the right of him. No one else occupies the two remining seats next to me. the trailers are playing.

 “I’m sorry.” I whisper.

 “For what?” he responds.

 “For not hiding... you know…I didn’t even realise it until now to be honest.”

 He now looks over at me and smiles. “I appreciate you wanting to protect me but it’s fine. They wouldn’t find out. Also, it’s kind of exciting don’t you think? You have the love-bite from me and no one knows, just only us two.” I now look at him and smile.

 Ethan reaches down to the middle hand rest and places his arm next to mine, I scoot up. He then places his right pinkie finger and rubs the side of my hand; I reciprocate and we are dancing with our pinkie fingers before wrapping them together in a cross.

 *

As much as I was enjoying the film, I was not feeling well at all by this point, as a headache started to form and I felt tired. “Ethan, I think I’m going to go.” I say.

 “What’s wrong?”

“I feel drowsy and my head hurts a bit.”

 “Lay on my arm.” He says.

 “I can’t.”

 “Just do it! Take a nap if you need to - and if you still feel unwell then we can leave together, ok?”

 Ethan lifted the armrest between us swiftly, I slowly and reluctantly placed my head on his right arm. I sat back as far as I could, ensuring no one from the group can see. As I placed my head upon his bicep and closed my eyes, I felt some relief.

 “He’s not feeling well” I hear him whisper to his left.

 I then feel his right hand and arm slowly move behind my back, my head begins to move and I am now lowering onto his chest. His right arm is now extended around my back and waist, he rubs slowly, comforting me. 

 *

“Jay…Jay” I hear, now waking up seeing the credits roll.

 “The movie is over.” Ethan says. I notice Jas, Eliza and Brooklyn left behind, looking my way.

 “Where is everyone else?” I ask, now standing up slowly.

 “They rushed for the toilets before the long lines form, they are wating for us outside.” He says.

 As we walk out the bright lights blind me and I look down immediately.

 “Are you okay Jay?” Beatrice asks. I remain quiet and mutter in responce, but I don’t think they can hear me.

 “He wasn’t feeling too well in there, so he needed to rest.”

 “Did you have anything to eat Hun?” Ruth asks. I nod no.

 “Well of course you are not feeling well, you need to get something down ya.” She adds.

 “How about I take him to get some food, you guys’ head back…” Ethan says.

 “Are you sure? We can come if you want.” Jas says.

 “Nah, no point to have us all go. Besides, I didn’t eat. Honestly, it’s fine.”

 “Well, ok. Thanks Ethan. Feel better soon Jay!” Jas says as she rubs my back.

 “Ethan, let’s just go back…” I say.

 “NO! You need to eat, I’m sorry but that’s final!” He commands.

 As you (my readers) might know by now, from my previous entries. I often have this issue where, when I do not feel well, I do not eat, which causes me to feel further unwell. It is something that happens every time I am unwell (which isn’t often) but it is something I know I need to work on.

 We walk into Wagamama, a Japanese chain restaurant and find a table. Ethan goes up to order and when he returns, he sits across from me.

 “Beatrice messaged me and said she will let your supervisor know you are still unwell, so you don’t need to worry about emailing or calling later on.”

The lady comes with our food and places a hot bowl of chicken gyoza ramen in front of me.

“Why didn’t you get anything?” I ask.

 “Because I already ate.”

 “Oh.” – “You just wanted to be with me, didn’t you?” I smile and ask cheekily.

 “Well, that, and I want you to get back safely.”

 I laugh. “Ethan, we are from London. This is Cambridge, the worst anyone will do hear is point a sharp inherited fossil and ask for all of our academic books…” I say. We both begin laughing really hard now.

 *

 I finish eating up the golden delicious ramen. Ethan watched me throughout, but I just let him as I was too tired to teasingly protest. As I finish, he wipes my mouth with a napkin and then holds my hand, rubbing it softly. We begin talking and just then Jas appears behind us. Ethan retracts his hand quickly.

 “I knew it!!” She says with excitement now sitting down next to us.

 “Jas, what brings your here?” I ask.

“Knew what?” Ethan adds.

 “Don’t act coy with me!!” she says in a rather teasing yet confrontational tone. “I know you are seeing each other and don’t worry; your secret is safe with me.” she continues “I see you both looking at one another, holding hands at the cinema, holding hands just now. I will make sure he eats.” she mocks in Ethan’s voice. “I sat out there and seen you wipe his mouth, it is just too obvious!”

 Me and Rudds look at one another and begin laughing hysterically – “BAHAHAHAHAHAHA”

 “Why are you laughing!? You can’t twist this and make it out as if I’m crazy, I know what I seen.” She says.

 “Jas...” I now speak “You are right. But if you wanted to know, why didn’t you just ask me straight up when I got back, why wait outside like that… that’s a bit… weird, don’t you think?”

 “sHuT uP!” She moans in embarrassment, followed by laughter.

 “SO! Are you guys dating then?”

 We both are flabbergasted by the question and look at one another, at her and down at our hands whilst repeating the words ermm, oh, uhh, errr

 “Okay, I get it I get, I’m sorry I asked. No need to define it. but Ethan, what happened to being straight?” Again, Ethan gets awkward again and is unsure on how to answer the question.

 “Jassss!” I say piercing a look at her.

 “Oh, Im sorrryyy I’m so sorryyy. Ignore me! BUT awwwww you guys are so cute!!” she says squeezing our cheeks with her fingers. “As I said I won’t say anything…. HOLD ON!! Is that - love bite…” she questions “YOU! You did this to him!!” she points at Ethan, who now looks embarrassed, as if he is being told off by nanny. I now go red. Does that mean you two…?”

 “JAS!! Go home please.” I yell jokingly.

 “You’re right, I’ve crossed a line, I’ll go now.” She says grabbing her bag and standing up, as she walks away, she comes back and hugs both of us in, with either of her arms on our backs.

 Me and Ethan look at one another now, shy, red and smiling.

 “Soo” I say.  “Are we…dating” I say quietly.

 “Oh… well, I mean if you want... I mean I guess we are??” He responds with a puzzled face.

 “Well, you better take me on a real date then...” I say.

 “I think I might!” He says with the most animated face, half smiling, stopping at the corner of his lips, with his head angled to one side - this is why I call him Rudds. I begin laughing. “What??” He says, now confused. 

“It’s nothing… it’s just, you are such a Rudds! It’s too cute!! You just won’t understand.” I say. Ethan once again smirks at me, nodding his head in disapproval.

 On our walk back to the house, we walk through silver street. There is a small underpass alleyway right next to the department of Land Economy, Rudds grabs my hand and reels me in. As he pushes me against the brick wall I look into his face, it is dark but some light coming from the other end highlights a bit of his hair. He wraps his entire arms around me and gently squeezes, he leans in and begins to kiss me, gently, delicately and then firmly. I taste his lips and tongue and feel his nape, hair and cheeks with my fingers and thumb running through and over them. He pulls back and looks at me and whispers “I’ve never been so happy.” As he comes back for a kiss fireworks begin to explode in my stomach, butterflies lift me and make me feel light. I am on cloud 9! Because the truth is, I have never felt this happy with anyone before and the truth is I love Ethan, I love my Rudds. Although he is five years younger than me, he feels like my senior. I have never felt so safe with anyone; I feel protected by him. I am his.

Since leaving Cambridge we have continued to stay in touch, we are both Londoners so it is not too hard. And yes, we are still dating and have been on a first official date. He has been away on site for work (archeological site) but when he returns in September we plan to see each other again properly, I truly miss him! I left for Cambridge on July 1st, nervous and ready to build my skills and career. I left in August with a new man in my life. This summer has truly treated me well and for that I am truly grateful for my Summer Internship at the University of Cambridge...