By Saturday afternoon, I had almost convinced myself not to go to the party. I stood in front of my mirror, dressed but unmoving, staring at the bottle of wine sitting on the counter. The label looked smug somehow, as if it knew what kind of idiot I was. Every part of me wanted to text Luke and say I was sick, tired, busy…anything that would save me from having to face him after what I’d done.
But avoidance only made it worse. Every hour that passed, my brain replayed that message in perfect clarity, the exact tone of my voice, the way I’d said it like some kind of confession. By the way… I liked your cock.
It had felt funny at that moment. Now it felt catastrophic.
I took a breath, grabbed the wine, and told myself that adults faced their mistakes. Besides, maybe he hadn’t listened... Maybe he was busy planning the party or maybe..best case he thought I was fucking around.
The drive to his house felt longer than it should have. The late afternoon sun bled orange across the sky, the kind of Florida light that makes everything look soft and forgiving. The radio played quietly, but all I could hear was my own voice looping back at me. I must have rehearsed ten different ways to bring it up.
Hey, about that voicemail, sorry, drunk joke.
Or: Guess I shouldn’t drink and dial, huh?
Each version sounded worse than the last.
When I finally pulled up in front of his place, my pulse was a drum in my ears. The house sat close to the beach, windows open, laughter spilling out. I could already hear music and people talking over one another. A normal, happy Saturday evening. Except my hands were sweaty on the neck of the wine bottle.
I walked up the path and rang the bell before I could change my mind.
And then there he was.
Luke opened the door, beer in hand, grinning like nothing in the world was wrong. “Bro! You made it!”
For a second, I just stared at him. He looked even better than usual..white T-shirt clinging to him, sleeves tight enough to show the definition in his arms, blue jeans hanging low on his hips. His hair was a little messy, sun-streaked at the edges. He looked relaxed, happy, completely unbothered.
My mouth went dry. “Luke,” I managed, holding out the wine. “Brought this for you and your girlfriend.”
“Nice. She’ll love that.” He took it, leaned closer, lowering his voice just enough to be heard over the music. “Glad you came, man.”
Something in the way he said it..soft, almost sincere made my chest tighten.
Inside, the living room was full of people, some I recognized from the office, others from the gym or neighborhood. The air smelled like grilled food and ocean salt and whatever cologne he always wore that I could never quite name.
I found his girlfriend in the kitchen, all smiles and energy, thanking me for the wine before darting off to check on the appetizers. She was warm and easy to talk to, and yet every time she said “Luke.. babe,” I felt my throat tighten.
He floated around the room, laughing, clapping shoulders, turning every conversation brighter. He had that way of drawing attention without even trying. I tried to blend into the background, nursing a drink, but he spotted me.
“Come on,” he said, beckoning. “We’re doing beer pong. You’re on my team.”
“I’m terrible at it,” I said.
He grinned. “You can’t be that bad.”
It was impossible not to follow him.
In the backyard, a makeshift table had been set up between tiki lights. Music thumped from a speaker. When he stood beside me to line up the first shot, I could feel the heat from his body. Every time he leaned forward, his t-shirt lifted just enough to show the waistband of his underwear…Calvin Klein, black, the elastic worn slightly from use. The edge of a tan line peeked just above it. I tried not to stare. I failed.
He caught me watching once and just smirked, not saying a word.
The game went fast. We lost. He blamed me with mock outrage, bumping my shoulder, laughing. It was easy again, natural, the kind of comfort that made me forget for a few minutes what I’d done.
As the night wore on, the crowd thinned. People drifted toward the beach, others left to grab more drinks. I found myself on the couch, scrolling absently through my phone when Luke dropped down beside me.
“Yo! Having fun buddy?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I said. “It’s a good party.”
He smiled, nodding toward the door. “Everyone loves when we throw these. She plans everything. I just do the heavy lifting.”
“Seems like a good system.”
He laughed. “It works.”
Then silence. Not awkward..just weighted. I could feel the warmth from his arm against mine, smell the faint scent of his cologne mixed with sweat and beer. He leaned closer, pulling out his phone.
“Hey, look at this. Remember that race I told you about last month?”
He opened a video, something about a track meet, showing it to me. But what I noticed wasn’t the screen. It was him..how close he was sitting, how the side of his leg brushed mine, how his breath hit the back of my neck when he leaned in. Every nerve in my body stood on edge.
He didn’t move away.
The clip ended. I didn’t say anything. Neither did he.
Then, slowly, he turned his head toward me. There was a faint smile on his lips, a kind of teasing calm.
“Oh, By the way… I got your voicemail last night,” he said.
My heart stopped.
He let the words hang there, eyes locked on mine. The noise of the party seemed to blur in the background, fading until it was just the two of us, the flicker of the porch lights reflecting in his eyes.
My mouth went dry. “Luke—”
He tilted his head, still smiling, still too close. “Actually,” he said quietly, “I heard all three of them.”
“All Three?” My voice cracked on the word.
He nodded. “Guess you wanted to let me know something.. You were… persistent.”
Blood rushed to my face. My hands felt numb. “I was drunk. I didn’t—”
He held up a hand, still smiling, not mocking exactly, but not letting me off the hook either. “Relax. I’m just messing with you.”
I tried to laugh, but it came out strangled. “Bro, I’m sorry. That was—”
“Unexpected?”
“Yeah. That.”
He looked down for a moment, then back up. “You know what’s funny?”
“What?”
He leaned back, draping an arm over the couch. “Most people say dumb stuff when they’re drunk. You just happened to say something honest.”
The way he said it…calm, easy, no judgment, but full of meaning hit harder than anything else could have. My pulse thundered in my ears.
Before I could respond, someone called his name from outside. He stood, stretching, flashing that same half grin. “Don’t worry, man. I’ll be back.”
Then he was gone, leaving me on the couch with my heart pounding and the ghost of his cologne still hanging in the air.
I sat there for a long time, trying to breathe normally, trying to make sense of what just happened. The party noise crept back in…the laughter, the music but none of it felt real.
Because whatever that was between us in that moment, it hadn’t been a joke.
It was something else.
Something new.
And… I wasn’t sure if I wanted to run from it or straight into it.
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