My Roommate the Alchemist

Concordium Chapter 23

My Roommate the Alchemist Chapter 12

 

Kieran

I was having the strangest dream where I was floating in a hazy mist. Then I heard an unfamiliar voice calling my name. "Kieran Morgan," the voice said.

I replied, "I'm here."

The mist began to fade, and I found myself in a garden, standing on a wooden deck next to a pond. There was a sweet smell in the air. I looked around and saw a man taller than me with a brown face and Asian eyes. He looked about as old as my Uncle Craig, but he had a kinder look on his face. He had dark brown hair that came down to his ears and he was clean shaven. He wore baggy trousers and a vest over a long tunic. He walked over to me and held out his hand in greeting.

"Kieran Morgan," he said again. "I am Kamon Zhang. Please call me Kamon."

"Call me Kieran, then," I replied. I noticed that I was naked. My face turned red, and my hands moved down to cover my penis.

"Interesting," said Kamon. He gestured for me to sit on a wooden chaise I hadn't seen before. "Your dream body embarrasses you."

"I would have put on clothes if I'd known someone else was going to be here," I said. "Although I have no idea where I am."

Kamon put his hand on my arm and eased me down into the chaise. He sat in a wooden folding chair next to it. "You won't embarrass me," he said. "This is your dream form. I would hazard a guess that it is like your own body when you were 12 years old."

I looked down at my small hairless penis. "I don't think so," I said. "I removed my hair because... um..."

"Because Jason wanted you to do so," he said.

"Yes, Sir," I replied. I was suddenly uncomfortable calling him by his first name.

"I thought so," he said. "But you are also shorter than my own 5 foot 6 inches. Your dream body is small and immature."

"Does that mean something?" I asked.

"Of course it means something," he replied. "It could mean many different things. I am not sure which meaning it has for you. Not yet."

He seemed lost in thought for a moment, then he said, "Before we begin, I must get some assurances from you. I am Jason's uncle, the brother of his mother. He has asked me to be your therapist. Are you comfortable talking to me about personal issues, knowing that I am related to someone you know?"

"It's what Jason wants," I said. I had misgivings, not about Dr. Kamon, but about seeing a therapist at all.

"I asked what you wanted," he said.

I thought about that for a minute then said, "I want what Jason wants."

Kamon seemed to think about my answer for a while. He stared into my eyes until I turned away. Then he shrugged and said, "Amazingly enough, that seems to be true. You are miraculous Kieran. Jason was not exaggerating. You may be the most submissive boy I've ever met."

"I try my best, Dr. Kamon," I said. Somehow using his title made me feel better about calling him by his first name.

"No, you don't," he said. "You fight against your nature, at least you always have in the past. You are still struggling to accept it."

He changed topics. "I am acting as your therapist, but I was sent by Jason, or rather you were sent to me by Jason. I need to know what you want me to tell him about our talks. I could tell him nothing. I could tell him everything. In one sense, it is not his business. In a different sense he deserves to know since he is the man taking responsibility for you while you are actively giving it up to him. I could limit what I tell him to what you tell me in the sessions. I could tell him everything that I find out through whatever means, so long as it would be something he should know. Tell me your choice."

I thought about it. I wasn't going to hide anything from Jason. If he asked me I'd tell him anyway. But there could be some things we talk about that he doesn't need to know. Things that could hurt our relationship. Jason had promised to take care of me. He had promised that he would never hurt me.

I looked at Doctor Kamon and said, "Tell him anything you think he needs to know."

The doctor looked at me like he was looking deep inside me, into my soul. "Very well," he said. "You don't have to worry about Jason. He has bound himself with his own alchemy. He can never willingly hurt you."

"He bound himself?" I asked. "I thought he'd used his magic to bind me to him. I thought I was under some sort of love spell. I didn't care if he was controlling me because I like being connected to him."

"He has used the Unguent of Lianje, a concoction he overuses to make mundanes see things his way. Oh yes, you think my nephew is perfect and incapable of mistakes. He is the most gifted alchemist since his grandfather and he may be the most intelligent young man I've ever worked with, but he is not perfect. If you hold him to that standard, he will eventually disappoint you.

"He used this unguent even after he measured the complement factor between you. He knew that the unguent could have a reciprocal effect in this case. I think he chose that course on purpose. I think he wanted to bind himself to you."

"I fell in love with him so fast. Did he use a magic potion to make me fall in love with him?" I asked, fearful to hear the answer. I didn't want my feelings for Jason to be false.

"No," Kamon replied. "It was your compatibility that did that. The unguent just made it happen faster. Rooming together for the year, you would likely have found yourselves together in the end, no matter what. But I can see in your mind that you have already asked Jason this question. Did you doubt his answer to you?"

I was embarrassed that this question had even come up. I did trust Jason, didn't I? I felt sick to my stomach whenever I doubted him. I didn't like that I was questioning him or his motives. It made me feel like a traitor.

"I'm not sure," I said. "I trust Jason, but..."

"You don't trust yourself, so you don't trust your trust in him," he said. "It's natural. I won't tell Jason because I don't think your lack of trust is about him. I think that you don't trust anyone."

After the preliminaries, he asked me about the incident. For whatever reason, I trusted him. I told him about my attacker, although I couldn't bring myself to say his name. I told him about the panic attacks and my constant fear. We talked over this issue for a very long time. He probed my feelings and made me uncomfortable. He told me that it was natural in attacks like these that I blame myself, but that the blame wasn't mine. I'd been afraid that somehow I'd sent a signal that made him think I wanted it.

He said, "The barriers you've erected over the years to protect your true self from harm and even from discovery have prevented you from being who you are on the inside. You were afraid of people seeing the real you and rejecting you. That's why you hid.

"I could try to teach you some defensive techniques, but that could get in the way of your current journey. They could help to build more barriers between your two selves that can be just as destructive in their own way."

He touched me lightly on the temples and said, "You are also a latent empath. This is a rare and beautiful talent, and I can see why you would have hidden it, growing up among mundanes. What I am going to do now is technically against the law of our people, but I do have some leeway as your therapist if I believe that there is a health emergency. In your case, I believe that is true. I will awaken the talent just enough to teach you a defense that won't build new barriers in your mind. I recommend that you seek more training later once you have finished your becoming."

"What is my becoming, Sir?" I asked.

"Jason has led you on an alchemical and psychological journey of becoming," he replied. "Your two selves are becoming one. I will talk to him about engaging in this journey without any support, but you can trust him to lead you. As I said, he can't harm you, or allow you to be harmed.

"Do you have other questions?"

"What's an empath, Sir?" I asked. "And what technique could help me without setting back my becoming? Because I don't want to do anything to interfere with that."

Kalom replied, "Empathy is one of the mental talents. An empath can sense emotions. You already do that. It's how you've avoided fights most of your life. It's another factor that drew you towards Jason. You could sense how he felt about you. You likely questioned it, but you could sense it. As for the technique, I will teach you how to focus on someone and project an emotion. It will work best on those with whom you have a close and positive relationship. You can focus on Jason, for example, and project your need for help. He'll feel it and be drawn to you. This talent is known as calling, and you should be able to learn it easily."

Kalom ruffled my hair and added, "Teaching you to fight would be alien to your true self. It would build barriers. Teaching you to call for a protector would align with your true self. It would reinforce your innate submissiveness and help to bring it to the fore."

We spent some time with Kalom teaching me to focus my thoughts. At one point he reached inside my mind somehow and reinforced the lesson at a point where I had a breakthrough in understanding. This was so new to me. It shook my whole worldview. I had thought of Jason as a magician only in a metaphorical sense. On most levels I was still pretending his elixirs and sprays were based on chemistry. It was like a veil had dropped from my eyes.

Kalom told me that we would meet again tomorrow. He would tell Jason the time and Jason would send me to him again. After tomorrow, he would likely see me once a week, more often if I needed it. I felt better. I had learned how to call for Jason, and I felt like my faith in him was justified. And I felt excited that as my empathy grew it could work on others, but it would always work best on Jason because of our complementary natures.

 

Jason

Uncle Kalom had taken longer than he'd said. It was midnight when I felt his message in my mind telling me that his first session with Jason was done. He filled me in on things he thought I should know. He chastised me again for falling into tantric entanglement with someone I thought was mundane, knowing the consequences. I didn't care. I did it on purpose. The more he fell in love with me, the more I would fall in love with him. Kalom then informed me that Kieran qualified as one of us on a small level and that he had lifted the velamen arcanum from him. I would be free to discuss supernatural things with him now. Then he advised me to find a mentor for Kieran once he had completed his becoming. Like I would ever do anything that would harm him. I would find him the best mentor because my beautiful and gentle boy deserved nothing but the best.

I was grateful for Uncle Kalom, but he didn't understand alchemy very well. I had found an alchemist's dream mate, someone who was complementary rather than compatible, someone who was in so many ways my opposite. He would be the white queen to my red king and together we would make something so strong and pure that it would make us both more than we were. Making gold from base elements was a parlor trick for true alchemists. This joining of opposites to make a thing of purity was the true goal of all alchemists from the dawn of time.

I carefully detached the rose silver wands on each shelf into their opposite red and white selves. Then I blew out the candles and crawled into bed to hold my boy. White Sub and Red Dom. In my mind that would trump Queens and Kings any day. I hadn't known that Kieran was a latent mind mage, but it didn't surprise me in retrospect. A mind mage represented the mental, while an alchemist represented the physical. Our complementary nature was deeper than I had suspected.

 

Kieran

When the alarm went off, Jason's arm was still wrapped around me. Usually he got up before me, but he must have decided to sleep in this morning. For the first time it was me who was waking him up. I rolled over in his arms, so I was facing him. I loved the look of his face. His prominent high cheekbones and firm mouth made him look like a fierce warrior prince. He was so handsome. My cock began to stir. I felt a little like his princess lying in his arms, and that thought concerned me in a way I didn’t totally understand.

I must have been frowning when Jason woke up. He kissed my nose and said, "What's wrong, baby boy? I can see it in your face that you're troubled, and you tensed up a moment ago. I can't sleep when my beautiful boy is troubled."

"I'm having a problem, Sir," I said. "I was just thinking that I felt like a princess when I'm with you."

"And that bothers you because you don't like to think of yourself as a girl?" he asked.

"Exactly, Sir," I responded. "I'm not a girl, and I don't want to be a girl. And I like the way I feel when I'm with you, and then I feel bad for liking the way I feel because it makes me feel like a girl."

Jason pulled me closer. He wrapped one arm firmly around my shoulders and reached down with the other and took hold of my penis. He pulled it next to his so that he held both his and mine in his hand. (Even he couldn't wrap his hand around both of us, although his hands were bigger than mine).

"I don't want you to be a girl either, Kieran," he said gently. "I am a gay man. I like girls just fine, but I'm not attracted to them in a sexual way. You can feel how hard I am. I wouldn't be hard if you were a girl."

He kissed me passionately and gently, then continued, "The problem you are experiencing is because the English language has no way to really express who and what you are becoming. We don't grow up with stories about submissive boys and the men who love them. There are no children's stories about beautiful princes and the knights who love them, so boys like you are left without role models, and guys like me are left not knowing how to treat their beloved."

"Don't think of yourself as a princess," he said. "Think of yourself as that beautiful prince. Then I can be a gallant knight. The ancient Greeks had better language for this. You are my eromenos, my beloved; and I am your erastes, the man who loves you."

"Thank you, Sir," I said. "I think that might help."

"You did good to come to me with your confusion, my little prince," he said. "It's my job as your knight-protector to help you figure it out."

Jason began nibbling my neck and rubbing my butt. His other hand snaked between my legs and stroked me between my butt cheeks. I moved my butt against his fingers. I wanted him inside me, but I knew better than to ask him about sex. I had to wait for him to decide and let me know. It's all about him controlling you, said the unwelcome voice in my head. He wants you weak so he can control you more easily. He is using fancy words to turn you from a faggot into a girl.

I ignored the voice until it went away. It sounded like my Uncle Craig. It was like my subconscious mind was trying to come between me and Jason. It was like it didn't approve of Jason and was using Uncle Craig's voice because it knew Uncle Craig would never approve of him. He wouldn't approve of me or what I was becoming either. But then it wasn't like he'd ever approved of me before anyway.

Jason kissed me one more time and ran his hand down my side to cup my butt. "It's time to get up. We have three hours before classes begin and we've got things to do."

I followed him out of bed. While he was making tea and setting out pills for us and our suitemates, I made the bed and then asked permission to go pee. When I got back, he had mine ready to go. The usual morning ritual. I had to shit a few minutes after drinking the tea. Jason came in and stood in front of me. That was my cue to drink his piss. I had come to the point where I didn't mind drinking it most of the time, but in the morning it was strong and bitter. I choked it down but didn't say anything.

I saw Jason looking into the bowl while I was wiping. There was almost nothing there. Jason said, "I'm going to cut you down to once a day on the Powder of Guanchang, in the evening. I can add something to make sure it's not needed until then."

Then Jason led me back out into the room and took my measurements. I was 68 and ½ inches tall, down more than a half inch from yesterday. My weight was 154.4 pounds, meaning I'd lost about 5 more pounds. The worst news was my penis. It was only 4 and 9/16th inches long and 3 and 5/8th inches in girth. That meant that I'd lost another quarter inch. If he keeps this up, you'll be shorter than Erik soon, said that inner voice. And no matter what he says, he is taking your penis away.

"How much smaller am I going to get, Sir?" I asked as he was putting away his tape measure.

Jason came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me, encircling my chest and arms. Most of the muscles I'd built up over the years were gone. I didn't look like a jock anymore. I looked like I was still a teenager. He was four inches taller than me, and I noticed that my hair was as long as his, about six inches and that it fell in loose curls to my shoulders.

"We'll see when we get there," Jason said, kissing my neck. "You were beautiful when we met, and you are even more beautiful now."

That's not an answer, said the inner voice. He's trying to distract you.

He continued kissing me and I turned in his arms so that we were facing one another. Jason slid a hand beneath my butt and picked me up in his arms. I wrapped my legs around his waist and began moaning against his chest as he slid a finger inside my boy hole. We were interrupted by Erik and Alonzo coming in from next door. Jason put me back on the floor and moved behind me again before they came in. I was still taller than Alonzo, but Erik was almost as tall as Jason. I was confused now. It looked like Erik was growing and Alonzo was shrinking.

"Sorry to interrupt you so early in the morning," Erik said. I noticed that his voice was deeper too. "But I have an early class this morning."

Damn he looked good, I thought. His chest was broad and powerful, and his features had become more masculine. I'd always thought his face had looked gawky and angular, but no longer.

"It's not a problem," Jason said. "Your tea and medicinals are ready."

Erik slammed his and said, "Sorry to run. Thank you for the drugs."

Alonzo said, "He has a Linear Algebra class at 8:00 a.m. and he's always running late." Alonzo was even cuter than before. I needed to get him to teach me how to do some things, like dance and suck a big cock. I thought that he was a lot more worldly than me. But he looked so sad this morning that I wanted to hug him.

He exhaled and seemed to shrink in on himself a little. "Can you tell me how tall I am now, Sir?" he asked. "I think I really messed up."

I watched, fascinated that Alonzo was also getting smaller. How many people was Jason doing this to?

He had shrunk quite a bit. His driver's license said he was 5 foot 8 inches tall and weighed 150 pounds, but now he was 5 foot 4 inches and weighed 125 pounds. Listening to their conversation, I learned that Alonzo had asked Jason for something to make him smaller. Then he hadn't followed the instructions and he'd overdosed on the medicine.

"When will it stop, Sir?" he wailed. At the rate he was shrinking, he couldn't afford to get much smaller.

Jason replied, "I can't say for sure. I warned you about taking too much at once. I have no control once you've taken it all."

Alonzo seemed to be in shock. He made his excuses and left the room, with tears in his eyes.

Jason saw the look on my face, and he pulled me into a tight embrace. I was shaking and Jason clearly saw something that concerned him in my expression. He held me until I was breathing normally. I let myself collapse into him. The muscular cage of his arms around me made me feel safe.

"You're going to be okay," he said, stroking my hair. Then he picked me up and carried me to the bed and held me for several minutes. He heaved a sigh and added. "I have been trying to figure out whether I should tell you something. To make a proper decision, I must ask you a question. Are you afraid of me?"

I didn't know how to answer him. I loved being with him, and I didn't want to do or say anything that could jeopardize that, but I was afraid of him, afraid of what he was doing to me. "No, Sir," I said. Then I corrected myself, "Maybe a little, Sir... I don't know."

Jason replied, "I'm glad that you're being honest with me, and with yourself. Now tell me what you're afraid of. I won't get mad at you."

He started to sit me down next to him, but I tightened my arms around him, so he'd have to keep holding me on his lap. I felt small and vulnerable, but despite my gnawing anxiety I felt protected and safe. He scooted back on the bed instead so he could lean against the wall.

I wasn't looking at him because I knew I would have trouble saying what I wanted to say if he could see my face. "I'm afraid of some of the things you're doing to me," I said to his firm chest.

"The sex stuff?" he asked gently.

"No," I said. "Not the sex stuff, Sir. The sex stuff is great. I'm a little afraid of... of you making me smaller. I don't know where it's all going to end. And I want to do what you want me to do, but I'm afraid because I don't know what's happening to me."

Jason just held me. I wanted him to tease me, to kiss me, to throw me down on the bed and fuck me until I couldn't think straight, but when he spoke I knew that he hadn’t moved because he was trying not to deflect my concerns. He was trying to address them.

"Do you still trust me?" Jason asked, forcing my chin up so he could see my eyes.

I stammered out, "I... uh... I want to, Sir."

"Good," Jason said. "I'm going to tell you something that you probably won't understand. It may not make your fears go away, but I hope it will help you figure something out on your own. Are you ready?"

"Yes, Sir," I said.

"I'm not making you smaller, Kieran," he said. "Don't get me wrong, I love how you fit better in my arms every day, but I am not making you smaller."

"I don't understand, Sir," I said. I was confused, bewildered even.

"That's all I can say right now," he said. "Do you trust me?"

"What about Alonzo, sir?" I pressed on. "You made him smaller."

Jason smiled and shook his head. "I'm not making Alonzo smaller either."

"But he's getting smaller because of your... your potions," I said. I wanted to trust him, but I wanted more information. "Did you give him the same potion you gave me?"

Jason nodded gravely. "I did," he said. "And I trusted him to use it according to directions. That was a mistake. I don't know if you've noticed, Boy, but our friend Alonzo is a little flighty. He took five doses in two days and now he's suffering an overdose. But I'm not making him smaller... Do you trust me?"

I wanted to scream at him to stop being so enigmatic and just say what he meant. "I don't understand, Sir," I said. "If it's not your potion that's making me smaller, what is it?"

Jason seemed to be choosing his words very carefully. He replied, "The Powder of Biantai is very powerful. It can do many things." He took hold of my jaw and held my face so he could look directly into my eyes. "I am not making you smaller, Kieran. Do you trust me?"

I wasn't entirely comfortable with my thoughts. I felt like there was an answer somewhere out there, within my grasp, but I couldn't see it. I didn't understand what was happening. It was Jason's magic powder, but he wasn't doing it. Nothing made sense. But a lesson from Uncle Craig kept coming back to me. You may not understand God's plan, but that's alright. You don't have to understand. You just have to trust in Him. Was I comparing Jason to God now? It didn't matter. I had to make a decision for myself, and I wanted to trust Jason.

"Yes, Sir," I said. "I do trust you."

"Good," he said. "Trust without evidence means that you are choosing to let go."

Jason kissed me, this time taking my mouth with his own, his tongue entering my mouth like he was laying claim to it. He laid me down on the bed and moved his mouth down my body, slow kisses making my skin come alive. As he moved down, he gently bit my nipples, then moved down to my abdomen where he teased my navel with his tongue. I started to giggle like a child.

Jason moved lower. He knelt between my legs and looked up at me with a teasing smile, then he lowered his head and took my dick in his mouth. No one had ever sucked my dick before. It had never felt any stimulation other than my own hand, and recently Jason's strangely arousing flicking.

"Yes!" I screamed. "That feels so good! Oh my god, please don't stop, Sir!"

His tongue swirled around the head of my cock and his mouth applied a firm pressure. I could feel my orgasm approaching. I was sure I was going to burst, but the orgasm didn't come. I was suspended right on the brink, and it didn't come. Tears were pouring out of my eyes. I don't know how long Jason kept me there, but eventually he let me slide out of his mouth.

He looked up at me with a knowing smile and said, "That's one. You have one more punishment to go before I give you your orgasms back."

My breath was heaving, and my cock was throbbing futilely. I opened my mouth to beg, but Jason put his hand across it. "Don't make it worse," he said. "Being denied an orgasm is a consequence of asking me for one, instead of waiting for me to give it to you. You have one more consequence coming. Don't earn more."

My chest was still heaving when he took his hand away. He leaned forward and kissed me gently on the lips. "I love you, Kieran," he whispered in my ear. "Don't ever doubt that."

"I love you too, Sir," I said, my voice a little hoarse.

"Roll over," he said.

I did and he pulled me to my knees with my head still against the mattress. I cooed with pleasure when his mouth touched my anus. He was gentle, like he always was. He teased the opening with his tongue, then slowly eased it inside. I could feel him licking my insides. I was curling my toes and clenching my thighs. Was this the second part of my consequence? I hadn't imagined what this would feel like until Jason did it to me that first time. I arched my back and moaned. Having Jason eating my ass was now my favorite feeling. Although maybe I liked it even better than when he'd sucked my dick earlier.

"You make me feel so good, Sir," I moaned.

When I had opened to his tongue completely, Jason stopped his oral assault on my asshole and adjusted my legs until I was the exact height he wanted. He lined up his cock and slowly entered me. I could feel that I was still tight, but his cock stretched me out. I felt the pain, but it was linked with an intense pleasure. I knew what to do now without being told, I pushed out so that he would be able to enter me more easily. I could feel him slowly invading my body. It hurt in a good way. I wanted to slam back and take him all the way in one thrust, but I trusted Jason to know what was best. Soon he was almost all the way inside me. He felt bigger than before. Or was my hole getting tighter? No, I'm smaller, I thought. That’s why he fit inside me before and now he doesn’t.

Jason's magnificent cock was fucking me now, each stroke brushing my prostate both going in and pulling out. My cock was swollen again after my last suspended orgasm. It was pulsing with every thrust. I would be cumming if it weren't for that damned spray of Jason's. But it wasn't going to happen. I let it go and decided to concentrate on the cock in my ass. My mouth had already studied its contours and textures yesterday, but now my ass was mastering the same thing. I learned to feel its every twitch and vein, becoming intimately familiar with its shape, but also with the nuances of its needs. I felt it when his shaft began to contract, and I felt it when it expanded suddenly, shooting his seed deep inside me. He came five times, and I came not at all, but somehow I felt good about it, like I had pleased my man and I took intense joy from that.

When Jason pulled out, he lay on the bed beside me and said, "Clean me off, and put your butt up here where I can see it."

I turned around to face his feet and took his large cock in my mouth, cleaning it with my tongue. I loved the taste of his cock and the smell of his groin. The smell that I knew was pure Jason was strongest in the groin, where the legs and the pelvis met. I was in heaven. Jason, meanwhile, was busy applying his magic lotion around the lips of my anus, and then inside. It felt so good. I could feel each ridge on his fingertips and each knuckle of his finger. It was the lotion! I suddenly realized. Jason had told me that it would increase the sensitivity of the skin it was applied to, and now my anus was sensitive to every detail of his fingers.

When we were done, I lay there exhausted for a few minutes, then Jason had me get up to dress him. He looked sexy as always, today in a dark red shirt with a black t-shirt underneath. He wore jeans instead of trousers and he wore his boots instead of his sneakers. I wore my pink knit shorts over a rainbow-colored jockstrap, and a mesh t-shirt in mint green. We left the room with enough time to have breakfast in the Student Union. Jason got us bagels with cream cheese and small cups of orange juice. He had smoked salmon on his bagel, but he saw the look on my face when ordering his and left it off mine, giving me a loving tap on the butt before paying. He knew I was a picky eater and he indulged me in it, except when it came to my love of junk food.

We had enough time to relax for a few minutes before I had to meet Darren. Jason still wouldn't let me go anywhere alone. I thought that he was feeling guilty over the incident last Sunday. Dr. Kalom had said that I would have to be able to call it by its name before I could get past it, but I wasn't ready to do that yet, not even in my own mind. Just thinking about the word made me feel dizzy.

While we were waiting, I checked my phone. I had several messages. Two were from Sally Minh. One was asking how I was doing, the other had a picture that showed me in anime style getting a kiss from someone who was probably supposed to be Jason. She hadn't seen much of him, which explained the almost complete lack of resemblance. But it was cute and I felt happy to have made a friend outside of the tribe I seemed to now be part of. I told her I was fine today. Then I told her that the picture was good and that the other guy had better be Jason. She texted back, Who else? It's clear you're smitten.

The other text message was from Steve. I held my breath when I opened it. I was expecting a nasty surprise. It was shocking but not in the way I'd expected. It was a close-up picture of a teenage guy sucking a cock. It was my 16-year-old cousin Dylan. I couldn't see who the other guy was.

Stephan: Looks like you're not the only fag bitch in the family.

Me: Is that you he's sucking?

Stephan: No. I took it from the doorway and just zoomed in. Next time I'll send a video.

Me: Who is it?

Stephan: I'm not saying yet. Don't you think he's pretty with a cock in his mouth?

Me: He's underage. Is that an adult he's sucking? It could ruin him in that town if anyone saw it.

Stephan: Can you imagine what his dad would say if he saw him swallowing sausage?

Me: Don't share that picture with anyone. Why are you showing me this?

Stephan: Just thought you should know that it runs in the family. He's pretty, but you're prettier.

Me: Don't let anyone hurt him. He is an asshole, but I don't want to see him get hurt.

Stephan: I wouldn't hurt him. If I did, his master would hurt me worse.

Me: Master? WTF Steve?

Stephan: No spoilers yet. I wish you were here.

Me: I have a man who takes care of me. I belong to him.

Stephan: Like he's your master?

Me: No. It's like he's the man...

Stephan: And you're the woman?

Me: I'm not the woman. I'm his boy. He wouldn't love me the way he does if I were a woman.

Stephan: I know I missed my chance. If I'd trusted my instincts in high school that would be you and me in the picture.

Me: Maybe. I always liked you, but I had no idea you were gay.

Stephan: It runs in my family, like it does in yours.

Me: That's your brother Kurt in the picture with Dylan. What did you mean when you said Master?

Stephan: I'm not going to explain it right now. Later.

Me: Fine. Be mysterious.

Stephan: Did your uncle tell you about the registered letter that arrived for you?

Me: No. What letter?

Stephan: I don't know. Dylan saw it and your uncle hid it. He didn't know anything else about it. But I've been thinking about something. You told me that your uncle always said that you were a financial burden. One day Dad told me that your uncle was full of shit and that he was getting paid to keep you. Then a registered letter arrived on your birthday and your uncle hasn't called you. Don't trust him. I think your uncle is sketchy as fuck!

Me: Thanks. I'll ask him about it.

Stephan: Don't forget. I care about you Kieran.

Stephan: Fuck that. I love you. Don't get weirded out. I know you're with someone else. If he doesn't treat you right, I'm coming out there. It's only a 4-hour drive. I checked.

Me: You were the best friend I had in high school. I love you too – as my friend.

My morning had started so well. Now I had this to worry about. Steve had always been one of my nicer high school acquaintances. Why was he telling me this now, just when I've fallen in love? And what about Dylan? We'd never really gotten along, but this was too much. Was he gay too? Was he being forced? I never thought Steve's brother was gay, but I'd been wrong about Steve, and I could have been wrong about Kurt too. What should I do? I didn't want to friend Dylan on FB. I was posting stuff I never wanted Uncle Craig to see. I almost showed the texts to Jason, but I didn't. I had no idea what was really going on and I didn't want to get Jason involved in anything family related.

I sent Dylan a text message. Call me please, or text. I need to talk to you.

Then I texted Uncle Craig. Everything is going well in college. I hope you all are well. Do you have any messages or mail for me? I'm out of touch here.

**********

When I met Darren, I'd planned to put the past behind us. That didn't work out as well as expected. He seemed to be in a foul mood, like he hadn't gotten much sleep. He even looked disheveled. As soon as Jason took his leave, he said, "Let's get going, Miss Priss."

He took his hand and pushed me ahead of him. He was taller than me now, and he outweighed me by at least 50 pounds.

"Darren," I said, "I'm sorry about Monday. Could we just start over again?"

"What do you mean, start over?" he asked with a smirk. "Do you want to go back to when you were cock-teasing me in the laundry room?"

He has an interesting way of remembering things, I thought. But I was determined to try. I said, "I meant when you tried to be friendly on Monday and I was a jerk."

"Not back to when you were getting raped in the bathroom?" he said with anger in his harsh voice. "When Kyle was shoving his cock down your throat and choking you out and I violated just about all the rules we live by to throw his drunk ass off you, and you didn't even bother to..."

Darren stopped talking. I was staring at him wide eyed, trying to catch my breath. I felt cold and the world was spinning behind me. It felt like someone was pouring ice water down my back.

"Shit!" Darren said. "Come here."

He tried to take my arm, but I panicked and flailed away from him. I turned to run, but he tackled me from behind and put his hand over my mouth to stop me from screaming. He pulled me into the shadows behind the building. "Shit!" he repeated. "Stop trying to scream you stupid little twink. You're going to get us both in trouble."

I tried to focus enough to call Jason like Kalom had taught me, but my brain wasn't working right. I felt Darren pull me close enough that his unkempt beard brushed against my neck. I was crying hysterically. He pulled me down onto a stone bench and tightened his grip.

"I'm sorry, Kieran," he was trying to talk gently, but I felt trapped. "I'm not going to hurt you. Remember that I saved you in that bathroom. You're safe now. I won't hurt you. Shh."

I broke down into gasping sobs. Darren pushed my face into his chest and started stroking my hair. He kept saying it like a mantra, "You're safe now. I won't hurt you. Jason trusted me to take care of you."

He smelled nice, not sexy like Jason, but nice and comforting, like a man. He wasn't being sexual; he was being like the dad I couldn't remember. I buried my face in his bearded neck and cried. It took about 20 minutes for the tears to stop. Some people walked by and saw me crying on Darren's shoulder. They were curious, but they all had places to be and schedules to keep. Darren didn't stop talking until I was breathing normally. "I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"I'm okay," I said feebly.

"The hell you are," he said. My face was still buried in his chest, so I was mumbling, and Darren was talking in my ear. "This is all my fault. I was mad. I've been mad ever since I saw you with Jason in that hallway. It's not your fault. I know you're way out of my league, but you got me so excited when I saw you wearing next to nothing. When you moved, I could see the whiteness of your inner thighs. I wasn't thinking straight, and it was a bad time of the month for me. At that point I wanted you so bad that the rules meant nothing to me. And if I provoked a fight with Jason, so much the better."

He pulled my head back so that he could look at my face. "You need to understand this, Kieran. Nothing that happened was your fault, not in the laundry room and not in that bathroom. You're a beautiful boy, but it's the responsibility of the men around you to exercise control. And I'm sorry that I failed that. I'll never do it again."

I took a deep breath and said, "It is my fault. I went to that back bathroom because I saw you and thought you were stalking me. I was running from you, then I ran into him in there and..."

"You don't have to say it," Darren said. "You don't even have to think about it. I just want you to know that I'm sorry. I won't ever hurt you. Jason trusted me. Well, Drew trusted me, and Jason trusted Drew. I saw the way you were shrinking away from me on Monday when I was only trying to help, and it hurt my feelings and made me angry. But I should have known better. I should have been the man. It was the next goddamned day, and you shouldn't have even been there."

"It's okay now," I said. "It's hard for me, but I'm going to try to trust you. I may not be very good at it, but I'll try."

Darren stood up and gave me his hand. I took it and stood up next to him. "Thank you," I said. "Thank you for everything you did for me that night."

"You're welcome," he said. "If you still feel like going to class, we should have a little more than half an hour left when we get there."

"Let's go," I said. "I wouldn't have pegged you as gay until you tried to touch me in the laundry room, you know."

We were walking to class while we talked. Darren kept his hand on my back, like he thought I was going to break apart. The way I felt today, I probably would have. He said, "Everyone on our floor is either gay or supernatural; I'm both."

I stopped suddenly and looked at him in shock. "Supernatural?" I asked.

"Shit!" he said. "I thought you knew. I've said too much! This is going to get me in the doghouse all over again."

"Tell me what you mean by that," I said.

He put a determined look on his face and shook his head. "I can't," he said. "I'm already in enough trouble."

"Please," I said with a whine in my voice. "No one ever tells me anything and it's driving me crazy. I need to know."

Darren looked guilty. Then he sighed and said, "Fine. But you must promise me that you'll tell people you figured it out on your own."

I nodded my head. "I promise."

"I'm a werewolf, Kieran," he said. "That's why I was so agitated when we met in the laundry room and why I almost killed Kyle in the bathroom. It was only a few days until the full moon. It’s also why I was such an ass earlier. After the frenzy of the full moon, the waning moon hits us like a brick wall."

I didn't want to believe it, but then I remembered his growling voice in that bathroom, and I remembered an animal smell as he was ripped off me and thrown across the room. "And there are more of you?" I asked.

"Yes," he admitted, "but I'm not going to tell you who."

"Drew's the leader of your pack, right?" I asked, pressing on for answers. I knew that I was taking advantage of Darren's guilt, but I couldn't stop. He was answering my questions instead of putting me off with puzzles.

"I'll give you that one," he said. "It's pretty obvious. But no more."

"And Jason?" I asked. "Is he a werewolf too?"

"Stop it Kieran," he pleaded. He saw my face and knew that I couldn't let that one go.

"No," he sighed. "Jason isn't a werewolf. He's some sort of mage, an alchemist I'd guess from the smell."

That made sense. I'd been referring to his teas and powders as potions. I'd been speaking metaphorically, but it all made sense now. I couldn't stop pressing the issue.

"Erik and Alonzo?" I asked.

Maybe he saw that I wasn't going to let up, and maybe he was just afraid that I'd have another melt down, but he kept answering my questions, despite his better judgment.

"I'm pretty sure that Erik is just a homo like us, but I think Alonzo's a mage," he said. "At least I overheard Sebastian explaining to Drew that Alonzo had accidentally cast a spell and it was a big fucking deal that they were dealing with."

`Then Sebastian is... let me guess," I said. "He's the one in charge. That's why everyone keeps going to see him. It's more than him just being the RA. Everyone does what he says."

Darren sighed, "Yes. You're not just a pretty face, after all. You have a brain in there too." He stroked my face with his calloused hand, but I refused to be distracted now that someone was finally telling me something.

"Is Kyle a werewolf?" I asked. It was the first time I'd said his name since that night.

"No," he said. "I think Drew wanted to turn him so that he could keep him under control, but Sebastian had other ideas. By the way, I don't know what Kyle's new roommate is, but Drew told us all to stay the fuck away from him."

I thought about the little blond guy who roomed with Kyle now. I had no idea how Sebastian expected him to keep Kyle in check. But that wasn't the most pressing question. If Kyle wasn't a werewolf, what was he? So, I asked, "What is Kyle then?

"Just a homo like us," Darren shrugged.

"No," I said. "That can't be true. He hates gay people."

"Sure," Darren said. "Must be why he hates himself so much then. Trust me. I can smell when someone gets aroused. He's a homo."

"I hate him too," I whispered.

"So do I," Darren agreed. "I wanted to kill him that night because he was... because he was hurting something beautiful."

I put my hand on his arm and said, "Thank you for the compliment."

"It's true," he said. "I didn't kill him, but I'll get a chance to make him pay tonight. The whole pack will – at least the gay and bisexuals among us."

"What are you going to do?" I asked.

"That's a question too far," he said. "Pack business. Besides, we're almost there and you've made me break the Concordium so many times I'll be looking over my shoulder all year."

"I'm sorry to have been so much trouble," I apologized. I really was sorry, and I would feel terrible if Darren got into trouble just for talking to me. But that word Concordium sounded interesting…

We walked into the classroom together, as quietly as we could. We wouldn't have disrupted the class at all, if Miss Bierce hadn't seen us come in and made a fuss by announcing to the class, "If you two boys can't pry yourselves away from each other long enough to get to class on time, don't bother."

Everyone turned and looked at us. I was disheveled and Darren had his hand on my shoulder. Everyone assumed we'd been doing something in private. About half the class gave us a look that I knew very well, disgust and disapproval. Some students giggled. But Miss Bierce was giving us a look of pure hatred. I was not going to like this course.

We took notes for the remainder of the class. Darren leaned over to me and whispered, "Half these people probably think we're together."

"I'm sorry," I whispered back.

"I'm not," Darren replied with a grin.

 

Darren

Kieran had set me off this morning. I’d found my own boy to love. Well, Simon had found him for me, but he was mine. And the boy was perfect for me, probably a better fit than Kieran. But it didn’t change the fact that I’d wanted Kieran from the moment I saw him. And Jason had rubbed me the wrong way. He had a macho aura that screamed alpha to me. If he were an alpha wolf from another pack the moon could have driven me to attack him, especially since he had something I wanted.

When I first encountered Kieran in that laundry room, I got hard as a rock. Dressed the way he was with his ass nearly hanging out in that kiddie robe, it was all I could do not to throw him over the table and fuck him hard. It’s why I’d always spent the three days of the full moon running with the wild wolves back in Montana. The full moon made me aggressive, more aggressive than other alphas.

When Drew had confronted me about it, we’d fought. And I would have won. If Drew hadn’t given me the full alpha growl when he demanded I back down, I would have beaten him so badly that either I’d have to take his place - a fate I did not want - or leave the pack. Instead, I rolled over onto my back and bared my throat. He was right. I’d never been that affected by my libido before, not even when it was energized by the full moon.

I didn’t know at the time that I’d been driven by Jason’s scent, amplified by some sort of magic potion. The way it was explained to me, it made Jason’s scent mark Kieran as his. It was supposed to warn other dominant men to stay away, but I wasn’t like other dominant men. I was contrary by nature, and the warning made me want that boy more than ever. My aggressive wolf spirit took it as a challenge.

And I was still fighting my desire for Kieran on Sunday night when I followed Kyle to the bathroom. The coming full moon, my lust, and my humiliation at losing control had all driven me to the point where I could have killed Kyle. I almost did. And then I saw Kieran curled in a ball, sobbing on the floor. I was erect and I wanted to take him for myself, but I pulled myself back from the brink.

Monday, I tried being nice to Kieran and he’d been such a prissy little bitch that it cut me to the core. I’d been so upset that I hid my hurt behind a facade of bluster. Meghan had talked me down. She always knew how to sooth my rage. And I knew how to sooth her in turn. She was my best friend, my partner in crime so to speak. We had the greatest bromance in the pack, probably because there was zero sexual attraction on either side.

My new boy Benjy had made me calmer this morning. I’d told myself that I was ready to put Kieran behind me. But when I saw him, all the pain and humiliation crashed down on me again. Monday, I’d tried to apologize to him and I’d been rebuffed in a humiliating way. Today, Kieran tried to apologize to me and I’d treated him the same way. Only I was innately meaner than Kieran, and Kieran was so much more fragile than I was. He’d collapsed, mentally and physically. And once I’d chased him down and held him while he cried, everything changed. He wasn’t, and never was going to be, my boy, but he was a boy who needed my help nonetheless. At that moment my lust transformed into love, an avuncular love.

 

 Kieran

After class, we were debating whether to try and get the notes we missed from the teacher when a young man came up to us. "Kieran?" he said with amazement.

It was Joe Peters. He and I were in that Bible-beater group together before school started. I put on a smile and said, "Joe. It's good to see you again."

I noticed that Darren was standing ready to interpose himself. He looked dumpy and short compared to Joe who had played football back in high school, as I recalled, but I knew what Darren was capable of. He'd gone from someone I feared to a trusted friend fairly quickly.

Joe looked over at Darren, like he was assessing him and had found him not to be worth his time. He said, "I didn't know we were in class together. If you give me your email, I'll send you a copy of my notes."

"Thank you," I said. I looked at my phone and opened the Gmail app. I saw two email accounts, my normal account and another called jasonsboytoy. I had email in both accounts. I had to start checking these things more often. I gave him my email – not the new one, but my old boring one. He promised to send them later today.

Darren watched him walk away with some concern. He put an arm around my shoulder and said, "Watch out for him. He got aroused looking at you, but he had a fight response going on in his body. He's not your friend. You tell Jason or I will, no discussion."

"Yes, Sir," I said, with only a trace of sarcasm.

"I mean it, Kieran," he said forcefully. "I thought Jason was being paranoid keeping you under guard all the time, but now I can see why. There was something going on between him and Miss Millicent Bierce as well. There was a look that passed between them before he came up to you. Don't trust her either. She hates us both."

"She just hates the gays," I replied, trying to brush it off.

"Maybe," Darren said. "And then again, maybe not." His eyes narrowed as we glared at Miss Bierce. His jaw clenched and his hands tightened.

**********

Darren walked me to the history department and left me with Clarissa, the TA. She had another student in with her for office hours, so I was sitting at a table in the history TA lounge. I'd purchased my books online, so I was reading my history assignment on my phone.

I had a text from Uncle Craig that read I'm glad to hear that you're doing well. Walk with God and make us all proud. I'm sorry but you have no mail. That disturbed me. Steve had seemed so sure.

I sent Steve a text; Uncle Craig says he's received no mail for me. Are you sure about it?

Soon I was joined by a young woman, maybe a year or two older than me. It was hard for me to get used to the fact that juniors and even seniors could be taking the same basic classes I was. College was so different from high school.

"Hi," she said, holding out her hand. "I'm Karla."

"Kieran," I said, shaking her hand. Since the incident I'd been anxious whenever men I didn't know approached me, but women didn't trigger me in that way.

"I saw you and your boyfriend on the dancefloor at the mixer," she said. Now I was getting uncomfortable. I didn't like thinking about that night. "You two looked really good together."

"Thank you," I said. "I... uh... I didn't notice you. Sorry."

She laughed, then said, "I'm not surprised. You two seemed totally into each other."

I whispered, "I don't really see anyone else when Jason is around."

"I don't think that he sees anyone but you either," she said. "So, I guess it's out of line to ask if you two ever... you know... have fun with someone else, like a third person?"

I have a talent for turning red. When I blush, it goes from my head to my toes and it's visible from a distance. That's what happens when your skin is as pale as mine. I was sitting here, dressed like a stereotypical gay boy and this attractive woman was coming on to me. I started to say something, at least I knew that my mouth was hanging open.

"I'm sorry," she laughed. "I didn't mean to embarrass you. I'd say I was joking, but that would be a lie. I was just hoping that you were bi and open to experimentation."

"No," I said. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry!" she said. "So, you don't like girls at all?"

"I like girls," I said. "Just not in that way. Sorry."

"God, you're cute," she said. "Not in that way. Well, yeah, in that way, but also in the other way. Do you need me to move, or can you forget I ever said anything?"

"It's fine," I said. "I've been avoiding being alone with girls all my life because I didn't want people to know I was gay."

Her eyes ran up and down my outfit and she laughed at me. I laughed too, then said, "I didn't use to dress this way. I used to look like a total jock."

"I'm trying to picture that," she said, still laughing.

I didn't get much studying done. We spent the hour talking. I'd lied to her earlier. Before I met some of the girls here at school, like her and Sarah, I didn't think I liked girls at all. It turned out that letting them know that I was gay and not interested in sex made them seem less frightening and more interesting. And in case I had any lingering doubts about my sexuality, my dick stayed soft during the whole conversation, except when she mentioned Jason. Inside I was laughing. All my life, I'd thought girls were predators just waiting for a chance to pounce on me. Being openly gay had made my life so much better, not just the incredible sex with a hot guy who adored me, but the chance to get to know people I never would have talked to before.

History class was fine. Clarissa made me sit right up front so she could see me from the stage. Karla sat next to me, nearly bumping another guy into the aisle when she took the seat he was aiming for. She smiled and said, "He was cruising you, and I'm just helping you stay on the straight and narrow."

She took good notes, much better than mine and she had a nice tablet computer to take her notes on. She promised to give me a copy, so I gave her my phone number and email – the old one, not the jasonsboytoy account. I had no idea who Jason thought I'd be giving that one to.

After class, Karla stayed and talked with me until Erik showed up. He walked up and threw his arm around my shoulder. He was taller than me now and more powerfully built than Jason. Karla gave Erik an appraising glance and gave me a look that said we'll talk later before she walked off.

Erik rushed me back to the Modern Languages building to wait for Jason. I was stumbling to try and keep up with him. He gave me a frown and I swear I thought he was going to pick me up and throw me over his shoulder so we could make better time, but he slowed his pace a little instead. He had a class soon and didn't want to be late, so he didn't stick around.

Jason's class was on the third floor and there were no student lounges in the building, so I had nowhere to sit. I decided to go to the bathroom while I was waiting for his class to get out. There was no one in there, so I was able to relax, but I couldn't bring myself to go to the urinals. I slipped into a stall and locked the door. While I was peeing, I heard someone else come into the restroom. Fear crept up my spine and I couldn't bring myself to open the stall door unless I knew that there was no one else out there, so I sat on the toilet and pulled my feet up so that I was sitting with my knees against my chest, pretending that the stall was empty. Every time someone left, someone else came in. I was trapped. I couldn't get out of the bathroom so long as people were out there.

I felt my phone vibrate. I pulled it out and saw that I had a message from Jason. It read: Google says you're in the building. Where are you?

I texted back: I'm in the bathroom nearest your classroom. The stall closest to the door.

He texted: I'm on my way.

It didn't take long before he was knocking on the stall door and whispering, "It's me, Kieran. Let me in."

I opened the door. These were narrow stalls, so he couldn't really fit inside with me. He stood in the door, and I went to him.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Your class wasn't out, and I needed to go to the bathroom, Sir," I said. One guy looked over his shoulder at us when he heard me call Jason sir.

Jason was glancing around, like he was looking for trouble.

"No one did anything, Sir," I said. "I just couldn't come out of the stall because there were people in the restroom. So, I sat there hoping it would empty out soon."

Jason seemed worried, like there was something on his mind, but he said nothing. He put his arm around my shoulder and took my backpack. He had some clips that connected them together so he could carry them both. He walked me out of the building. On the way across campus, he made me tell him about my day. I skipped my meltdown from earlier because I didn't want Jason to worry about me, but he seemed to already know something.

"What else happened on the way to your freshman comp class?" he asked, giving my shoulder a squeeze.

I said, "I had a little trouble on the way and had to sit down for a while, Sir."

Jason stopped walking and turned me to face him. His face was grim. "Someone told me that you were kissing a guy who sounds a lot like Darren," he said.

My heart felt like it had stopped in my chest, and my breathing grew labored. "No, Sir!" I cried. "I would never... I mean why would someone...? You're the only one I've kissed, except for Alonzo and that doesn't count. I..."

Jason wanted to calm me down. He always seemed to think that I was more fragile than I was, like I was going to fall apart in front of him. He pulled me into a tight embrace and whispered, "I never thought you would. You're too good a boy to be disloyal to me."

He held me there for several minutes, just holding me. I was pressing my face into his chest with my eyes closed. I felt that if he let me go I'd fall forever. He spoke into my ear in a quiet but much firmer voice, "What happened?"

"Darren and I were talking, and I suddenly started thinking about Sunday night, in the bathroom. I couldn't breathe and I suddenly got afraid." I was babbling and I knew it. And Darren and I had made-up. I couldn’t have Jason going after him now.

Jason pulled me down onto a bench, on his lap. "What did Darren say?" he asked. His hand was rubbing my back.

"It was just a word. Please don't make me say the word," I whined. I was crying now and shaking in his arms. I couldn't breathe and I got nauseous. "I'm going to be sick," I whispered.

Jason dug around in my backpack and pulled out one of the protein bars he made me carry. He unwrapped it, but he didn't hand it to me. He broke off little pieces and put them in my mouth. Then he pulled a bottle of tea from his backpack. It had my name written on it. He alternated between feeding me pieces of the protein bar and giving me sips of the tea. My stomach settled a little and I relaxed. The dizziness went away, but I still felt like I was floating.

"Darren didn't do anything," I said feebly. "If he hadn't held me, I don't know what I would have done. It took him a while, but he calmed me down."

I did not want to tell him that Darren had caused my meltdown. Not now. It was done and I was sure Darren would never do it again. I hadn’t felt meanness coming from him when he did it. I felt … sadness and guilt. I hadn’t recognized my intuitive understanding at the time because I was in crisis and listening to my empathy was still new to me.

"Did he hold you like I'm doing now?" he asked me.

"Yes, Sir," I replied. "And he rubbed my back and stroked my hair."

Jason started rubbing my back and stroking my hair and I buried my face in his neck. "Like this, Kieran?" he asked me.

"Yes, Sir," I said. "You know this calms me down. He made me feel safe, like you do."

Jason let his hand slide from back down into the waistband of my shorts. "He made you feel like I do?" he asked.

"Mm-hmm," I said. I was feeling woozy all of a sudden. "I felt safe in his arms. But he didn't make me hard like you do, Sir. No one makes me hard like you do. He didn't touch my butt, and he didn't rub me down there."

Jason's voice became less strained. He kissed my forehead and whispered, "Let's get back to our room before you fall over."

He helped me stand up and shouldered both bags. I went to drink the rest of my tea, but Jason said, "Don't drink the rest of that until you get to the room."

I had to lean against him the rest of the way. He made us use the elevator to the 3rd floor. When we got back into the room, he pulled me over to the bed and had me finish the tea while he pulled my shoes and then my clothes off me. I was feeling numb, but Jason lay down on the bed and held me until I fell asleep.

**********

When I woke up the clock said 5:22 p.m. Jason was doing something on his notebook computer while one hand rested on my back. I'd turned in my sleep so that I was laying on his chest. He put his computer down and said, "I was afraid you would sleep too late for a run before dinner."

"I don't know what happened, Sir," I said, letting my hand rub across his fully clothed chest. “I got so tired and had to rest.”

Jason seemed to be struggling with himself for a moment, then he said, "You were spiraling into anxiety again, so I gave you something to calm you down and it made you sleepy. I had to get you back to a state where you could let go of the anxiety and rest."

"You gave me a valium or something like that?" I asked, more than a little annoyance in my voice at being given drugs without my permission again.

Jason pulled me up higher on his chest and rubbed the back of my head with his left hand, while his right slid over to stroke my lower back. He had to turn part-way on his side to do it. It left my head resting against his chest, cradled in his left arm.

"I know you're annoyed," he said, "but you never believe me when I'm telling you that you're having an anxiety attack. Don't worry. This is an alchemical potion that works like valium and Xanax, but it isn't addictive. You can't use it all the time because the ingredients are very rare and it's hard to make. And you're better now."

"You're the one who keeps telling me that you can't just use alchemy to solve every problem, but isn't that what you're doing, Sir?" I asked. "Aren't you just giving me drugs whenever you want to fix my anxiety?"

"No, my little prince," he replied. "This is like a bandage. It stops the immediate problem. The solution lies with your therapy sessions. Sometimes you need both."

"What if I'd drunk that tea in class, Sir?" I asked. "Everyone would think I was stoned or something."

"I don't give you potions for you to self-medicate," he said. "I made that mistake with Alonzo, and he didn't follow the instructions. Look what's happening now. I keep this potion in my bag so I can give it to you when you need it. That's what your erastes is for my little eromenos, to take care of you."

I immediately imagined Alonzo’s response to this, sarcastically saying "don't worry your pretty little head with important decisions like this, just sit there and smile and let your man do your thinking for you."

I wasn't going to get into an argument with Jason tonight. I wouldn't win and I didn't want to earn more punishments, so I let it go.

"If you thought it was necessary, Sir, it probably was," I said.

Jason leaned further onto his side and kissed me. I knew that's how he ended arguments, but I did like the kiss. "Were you afraid that I thought you were cheating on me with Darren?" he asked.

"A little, Sir," I admitted. "I needed Darren to hold me because that's what helps me when I can't breathe properly, and I feel dizzy."

"When you are having an anxiety attack you mean," Jason said. "I wasn't afraid that you were cheating on me. I was afraid that Darren was using your anxiety to put his hands on my xiaowang. He always looks at you like he wants to eat you."

I punched Jason playfully on the chest. "Darren isn't like that, Sir," I said. "He doesn't hold me like a lover. He holds me like a daddy."

"Maybe he wants to be your daddy," Jason said. "You lost your daddy when you were very young, and your uncle wasn't a good daddy for you, so you need a daddy. But I am the one who will be your daddy, not Darren.

"I will be your father figure

Put your tiny hand in mine

I will be your preacher teacher

Anything you have in mind

I will be your father figure

I have had enough of crime

I will be the one who loves you

'Til the end of time"

Jason sang the words to me. He had a nice singing voice, and I was getting aroused again, thinking of him as my daddy. It seemed kind of dirty, but in a good way.

"Did you make that up, Sir?" I asked.

Jason pulled me in close and kissed me while he patted me on the back. "I love you, Kieran," he said. "You're so cute."

I knew that I'd just shown my ignorance about something Jason thought everyone should know. It was a little demeaning the way he just called me cute like it didn't matter that I didn't know something, like he didn't really expect me to know it anyway.

"Don't pout at me, little prince," he said. "Not everyone has time to fill their head with endless facts that he will never use. Let me tell you a story about a young man who was very good at alchemy, too good for his age. This boy learned to make a potion that let him rest for only one hour a night. He thought he was so clever that he took this potion every night so he could use the time to learn even more things because he was so curious that he wanted to know everything. But this potion used rare ingredients, very costly ingredients. When his parents found out that he had wasted so many rare ingredients they were very angry with him, not only because he had cost them a lot of money, but because he didn't know that taking this potion every night wasn't good for him, and because he was very sneaky and covered his tracks very well when he took the ingredients from the supplies. This boy took the potion every day for 90 days before they caught him. And they caught him because he put himself into a deep slumber by misusing the potion."

"Did this boy genius get in trouble, Sir?" I asked, giggling a little because Jason always seemed so poised and proper that I hadn't imagined him getting into trouble when he was younger.

"Well, he should have gotten in very bad trouble. But his parents didn't punish him because they were afraid that he would never wake up and eventually die. The magical sleep held him until his parents could find the antidote."

I exclaimed. "That's terrible, Sir! His parents shouldn't have left dangerous stuff around where he could get it without supervision. It was their fault."

Jason sighed, "That's what they said. From that moment, the boy wasn't trusted to make potions without supervision. His parents made him come to them for ingredients and took away his private workroom, making him work in a corner of his father's workroom instead. And the boy felt so guilty about what he'd done, that he swore never to misuse potions that are dangerous or to use any potion in a way that makes it dangerous.

"And because this boy grew into a man who learned his lesson well, his beautiful boy should trust him when he says that a potion is needed or won't cause harm because he has never made that mistake again."

"Fine," I said, "I get it. I'll stop doubting you since you learned your lesson so well. But I have a question, Sir. Did that young genius, now grown to be a mature 19-year-old genius, ever make a mistake like that again, like maybe giving his flighty friend a dangerous potion and trusting him to take the right dose instead of messing it up?"

Jason started tickling me until I couldn't breathe. "Now you know my worst secret," he said. "You've learned that I'm not perfect. I hope you can still stand to be my little prince."

I was laughing so hard that I couldn't catch my breath. "Stop!" I cried. "I'll be your prince forever but stop before I have to pee."

Jason stopped ticking me and squeezed me in a tight hug instead. "This is always the threat you use when I'm tickling you, that you're going to pee if I don't stop."

"It's not a threat, Sir. It's true," I said.

Jason got out of bed and pulled me out after him. "I'm going to take you to the bathroom and watch you pee," he said. "If you don't have to go, then I'll know that you were lying to me. And then I'll have to spank you with a paddle."

It wasn't a trick of course. I did have to go. I had to sit down to pee because I had an erection, and it wouldn't go down with Jason watching me. When I finished, he made me stand next to him when he went. "Hold my cock for me while I piss," he ordered me.

This was new. He wasn't asking me to drink it. His dick was warm and soft, and so very large in my hand. Afterwards, Jason stood behind me and we both washed our hands at the same time. It wasn't sexual, but it felt erotic anyway.

When we got back to the room, we talked while we were getting ready for our run.

Jason said, "It took me too long to get the information I needed from you while we were talking earlier. Don't hold back anything from me Kieran, and don't ever lie to me, even through omission."

"No, Sir... I mean yes, Sir," I said.

He smacked my butt gently and added, "You did the right thing today. I told you to let your protectors look out for you and you did. When you were alone, you found a place to hide and waited for me to come get you. There's only one thing you didn't do that you should have; you should have sent me a text to tell me where you were."

"Yes, Sir," I said. "I'll do better next time."

Then I added, "You're not going to stop letting Darren walk me to class are you, Sir? He didn't do anything wrong. I wouldn't have made it to class if he hadn't held me and helped to center me."

"No, it's worse than that, Kieran," he said seriously. "He touched my little prince inappropriately. I'll have to poison him. Of course, it will cause a war between mages and werewolves and the streets will run with blood, but that's the price I'm willing to pay to keep others from touching my prince."

I was a little shocked when he first began speaking, but I realized that he was just joking when he began talking about starting a war because Darren had touched me. And he’d casually dropped the word werewolf. So he knew about Darren. It was so strange. I’d known there was something strange about Jason from the first, but today I’d found out about mages and werewolves. If I weren’t so freaked out trying to process the thing that happened to me, I would probably be melting down over it all.

"Thank you, Sir," I said. "I like Darren and I trust him."

Jason sighed, "You still don't see that he's in love with you, but that's because you're naive in the ways of men and don't know how many men on this campus look at you with lust in their eyes. Just so I am clear on what happened, I need to know if Darren touched your little boy penis or your beautiful rosebud?"

"No, Sir!" I shouted. "He just held me and made me feel calm and safe."

"Then he touched you like an uncle, not like a daddy," he said. "I can live with this, even if it means that I have to get to know him better so I can consider him like a brother."

I didn't do it on purpose, but I completely forgot about the strange interaction with Miss Bierce and Darren's warning about Joe Peters. That would be a problem later.

My running shorts were loose enough that I had to tie them tighter with the drawstring, and my shoes felt a whole size too small. I wouldn't be able to tighten them much more. Jason allowed me to wear my jockstrap under my shorts since they were getting looser.

Running was now an afternoon activity for us during the week, although it was almost 6:00 p.m. when we got started today. Jason said that we would still be running in the mornings on the weekends. I was glad that we were getting back to a normal schedule. I was easily able to keep up with him now that I wasn't running with a plug in my butt. I'd lost four inches so that must have affected my stride. If I tried to outrun him now, he'd probably beat me. My unwanted internal voice piped up, that's why he wants you smaller, so there's nothing you can do better than him.

On the way back to our room, we stopped at the dining hall in the dorm and had dinner. Jason made healthy choices for me, and I didn't even complain in my own mind. When we got back to the room, I stripped naked and then followed Jason to the bed so I could strip him, lick the sweat off his body and sniff his shoes. His scent was stronger since we were now showering in the evening. I could have cum right then, just from his scent alone.

Then we showered and washed each other. Jason didn't let me blow him in the shower, but he did let me drink his piss. The strange thing was that I was beginning to look forward to it. I'd been disappointed that I couldn't swallow his cum in the shower, but I almost ran to the bed when he said he was going to fuck me instead.

Jason put me in a sixty-nine position so that I was able to suck his cock while he ate my ass. I was in gay bottom boy heaven. I could feel my asshole quivering at the touch of his tongue. I wanted him inside me so badly. Jason never used lube on me because he always ate my ass until it completely opened and relaxed. He said that my beautiful flower was blossoming for him. He had a way with words.

"We're going to do it differently today," he said, lying on his back. "But first there's this. You've been good, and you suffered two suspended orgasms today, so I hope you've learned your lesson. Next time, I will take away your erections for three days."

"Yes, Sir," I said, with enthusiasm. I would have promised him anything at that point.

He grabbed a spray bottle off the nightstand and doused my penis. Other than a cold tingle, I felt nothing. But I knew how fast this stuff worked.

Jason held his cock upright. "I want you to reach back and take hold of me," he said, "then you're going to lower yourself onto me."

"Yes, Sir," I said.

I took hold of his giant cock and rubbed it against my ass until I found the hole. I lowered myself gently until the head was right at the entrance. I pushed out as hard as I could and slid down on his dick. It was harder to do it this way. When Jason had been thrusting into me, he pushed it home and I didn't know when it would happen. Now I could anticipate the pain, which made me want to clench up a little.

"You can do it, Kieran," he said. "I like being in control, but I'm letting you do it this time. I want you to be able to open easily for me. And I want to give you the opportunity to figure out exactly how to do that."

"Yes, Sir," I grunted.

I wanted to do it. Jason said that he had faith in me. I concentrated on my task, pushing out and sliding down at the same exact time. I had to not just accept the pain, I had to welcome it as the sign that I was taking my man inside me. I slid as far as I could and swallowed in satisfaction.

“I can’t get anymore inside me, Sir.” My lip was trembling and I had tears forming in the corner of my eyes.

"I love you, Kieran," he said. "I'm proud of you and I'm glad that you're my good boy. It’s okay, just take what you can."

"I love you too, Sir," I said.

Tears streamed down my cheeks again, but this time they were tears of joy. Jason helped me find a rhythm, sliding up and down his cock without ever letting him slip out. If he hadn't been so big, I might not have been able to do that.

This time, when my orgasm came, I screamed. No one had touched my dick. It was erect and flopping around when my ass clenched, and I started pouring cum on his abdomen. When he came, I could feel it inside me. I was becoming even more sensitive down there.

Afterwards Jason held me; I lay there in his arms sucking my cum off his fingers. Then he kissed me and pushed my head down to his cock. I took it in my mouth again and cleaned it with my tongue. Afterward we were lying on the bed again. I was curled up on Jason's arm with my leg wrapped around his thigh, my fingers playing with his sparse chest hair.

"Can I ask you a question, Sir?" I asked.

"Ask your question, Kieran," he responded. "But I can't promise that I will give you an answer that will satisfy you."

"Why do you want my dick to shrink, Sir?" I asked. It was weighing on my mind.

"Are you sure you want an honest answer?" he asked in return.

"Yes, Sir," I said. "I think I need to know."

"A cock is superfluous on a boy," he said. "Don't get me wrong. I'm glad you have one, but its size doesn't matter to me when it comes to sex. Submissive boys like you don't use your little cocks like a man. You don't fuck with it. You don't stroke it or rub it. And if I suck on it, it will be because I want to. Only under rare circumstances will I suck you to orgasm. Does that bother you?"

I thought about it seriously because I knew that Jason expected a truthful answer. Did it bother me?

"No, Sir," I said. "It doesn't bother me. You've shown me different types of sexual pleasure than I knew before. And I think it's kind of sexy that you control my dick. But if you don't care about the size, why do you want it smaller?"

Jason stroked my butt for a minute or so while we lay there in silence. I wasn't sure if he did that to help him think better or to distract me. It didn't occur to me that he might just like touching it, the way I liked touching him. When he spoke, he moved his hand up to stroke my hair. I found that relaxing. I'd even found it relaxing when Darren did it this morning.

"I thought your cock was pretty when it was larger, but it is much prettier now. I think small penises are prettier on a boy," he explained. "And the prettier it is, the more likely I am to want to suck on it a little."

That was not the answer I was expecting. In the stories I read online, small penises usually meant humiliation for the boy, a way to control him through embarrassment or shame. Jason seemed to think it was more attractive this way. He seemed to want me to be proud of it as a symbol of my submission.

"Let me ask you a question," Jason said.

"Ask away, Sir," I responded, snuggling closer to him.

"Did you think about the porn you liked online, back when you were masturbating?" he asked.

"Yes, Sir," I replied.

"And?" he prompted.

"I mainly liked porn about men and their boys, Sir," I said.

"And in those stories what was the difference between a man and his boy?" Jason asked.

I replied, "The man was bigger, hairier and more masculine. And he was usually older, Sir."

"What about their cocks?" he asked.

"The boys had smaller cocks, Sir," I replied.

"I have two last questions," Jason said. "Did you identify with the man or the boy in these stories?"

"The boys of course, Sir," I said, chuckling like that should be obvious.

"Last question," he said. "Does it bother you that I'm only a few months older than you?"

"No, Sir!" I replied. "You may not be older than me, but you seem older. You know about art and culture and food and clothes and everything. You know everything. You even know old songs I've never heard of."

Jason chuckled. "I don't know everything, and I'm not perfect," he said. "It's my fault you got attacked in the bathroom that night because I failed to see all the ramifications of my actions. And you've been struggling ever since that night."

"I was fucked up before I met you, Sir," I said.

Jason slapped my ass hard, then he tightened his grip on my shoulders. "Watch your language, little boy," he said. "You came to me with a bundle of neuroses and anxieties. You were skittish around everyone, and your body language didn't match your physical appearance. I could see the fragile little boy inside you who needed to be held and guided. That was it for me. I was hooked."

"I guess I am a high maintenance bitch," I said. This talk wasn't helping me as much as I'd hoped it would. Jason wasn't wrong about me.

Jason sat up and pulled me across his knee. He gave me five very hard swats on the ass.

"That was for your language," he said. "Boys need to keep a respectful tongue in their mouth. I should give another five for running yourself down. I think you've been doing that all your life, and it's time to stop. You aren't broken and you aren't a bitch. You're a beautiful submissive boy who's been forced to deny who is. You're not high maintenance. You just need someone to teach you to love yourself. You need a man to show you, and it's my privilege to be the one to do it."

I threw my arms around Jason and clung to him like a life preserver. I was crying and sobbing, not from the spanking (I liked it, really), but from his words. I felt that Jason was the first person in my life who valued me and loved me for who I was. Other than that night, everything in my life had been better since I surrendered myself to Jason. And no matter what he said, that wasn't his fault. It was Kyle – there I said the name. It was Kyle who ruined everything. I hated him and I wanted him dead. There was no punishment too terrible for him.

Afterward, I kept trying to get into my homework, but Jason noticed how distracted I was.

“What’s bothering you, Kieran?” he asked.

“I’m not bothered, Sir. I’m confused. Darren told me you’re a mage, and that he’s a werewolf,” I said, hoping that I wasn’t getting Darren in trouble. “But were you serious about a war between mages and werewolves? And what’s the Concordium?”

Jason shut me up with a kiss. Then he said, “There are things I can’t tell you yet. I will answer your questions as soon as I can. You have to trust me.”

“But Darren…”

Jason put his finger on my lips. “Darren shouldn’t have told you anything. It’s not my place to correct him on that, but he broke some important rules today.”

I nodded. Darren had told me that he was breaking rules. I felt guilty for manipulating him into doing it. I hoped he wouldn’t get into trouble because of me.

I put my mind back to my homework. We spent only an hour studying in the room because it was late, then Jason prepared my tea and pills. Once I'd prepared for bed, Jason gave me the special potion again and I grew drowsy immediately. I knew that I was off to another dream therapy session with his Uncle Kamon.

 

Jason

I sat up and watched my boy while his dream self was absent from his body. I was painfully erect gazing at Kieran's naked body while he slept. In sleep he was peaceful. There was no sign of the anxiety that was written on his face during the waking hours. His hairlessness made him look even more vulnerable. I sat vigil, holding my magic pendant, preparing to do battle with anything that got through the wards I'd placed around his sleeping body. I didn't take down the wards and crawl into bed with him until Uncle sent a message that he was done. It was almost midnight, but I didn't care about my lack of sleep. I'd taken responsibility for this boy. It was my duty and my pleasure to watch over him.

 

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You can read each story in The Concordium Cycle independently, or you can follow the author's preferred reading order that will blend the stories together. The next chapter in the author's preferred reading order is Wishcraft Chapter 7.

Special Thanks to my editor [email protected].