My Forbidden Fantasy

As I lay here next to my sleeping long distance boyfriend a part of me actually can't believe I'm doing this and the other part is wondering why I hadn't done it sooner. 

I've read plenty of sex stories on all different websites jerking off to the ones that caught my attention and what I was into and wanted at that time. But now as a 23 year old I never thought I would be writing one. 

Is it a story though that's what I'm thinking as I write this I'm not sure what it is or what's it going to be or become. 

I know most guys are just looking to read about some hot sweaty sex to get them worked up as they pump their cocks and to cum and I can't blame them and I'm surprised if anyone carries on reading past this point because clearly I ain't getting straight into the sex side well at least not yet.

But as I lay here next to my now snoring and moaning in his sleep long distance boyfriend i can't help but be annoyed I had so many expectations about being in a relationship especially sexwise which have definitely not been met. 

Yet still I stay with him because is sex really that important because once us guys have got our rocks off the post nut clarity kicks in and we start to think about real stuff and feel real shit. But I also think to myself sex is important and if my sexual needs ain't being met then I need to find something to do to meet them. I watch porn and all other sex stuff and the sex looks so good and god gets me hard like a rock but when I fuck my boyfriend to be honest I barely feel anything and I mostly want it to be over.

In all honesty people reading this nothing to me feels better then jerking off yourself and just being able to be in control and you know what yourself likes and you know what you need in that moment. Whatever u want to watch or read or have in the background or even just think about you have got it. You have your clothes off legs spread laying in your bed so comfy but so tense with your cock hard as you pump it. You can play with your balls not too roughly or soft just as you like it. You can even put a finger or two inside yourself just to feel more. But nothing feels better as your pumping away and you start to feel your balls tighten and you wonder do you edge yourself to make it last longer or do you go fully in feeling the climax as you orgasm and moan as loud as you want and feel the hot cum shoot out of you and land on your stomach or chest hell I've even had it shoot so far once it landed on my face.

I'm not bashing relationships at all if you have a great sex life with yours then that's great and I'm not jealous at all ok maybe a little or maybe a lot lol. But let's be honest if we was in a happy sexually drived relationship none of us would be here on this website would we.

As I write this I'm feeling my semi hard cock through my boxers wondering if I should touch myself and fulfill the need I feel so desperately to cum. But I can't because long distance boyfriend is such a light sleeper and would most likely complain so I lay here practically with blue balls and most of you lucky guys get to play with your dicks out in the open in your rooms and getting your rocks off and being able to cum when you want. I'm not jealous again maybe a lot lol.

I'm the top in the relationship and yeah I do enjoy it but I'm gonna be completely honest because I can and let's be honest no one else is gonna really say anything because we are all using our secret emails and being as Annonymos as we can be lol. I don't want to be a top. I want to be a bottom I want a guy bigger than me to have his way with me. I want to be dominated and be put in any position he wants me to be in and I want him to have a ginormous cock to plow into my bubble butt that doesn't get used at all and craves a massive dick and a alpha of a man to enter me and claim it as his own. I just wanna say I have tried to bottom for my boyfriend and he had tried to top but the height difference practically made most positions impossible I'm 6ft 3 and he's 5ft 5. When he did eventually get his dick in it just hurt and he didn't know how to use it right.

I guess you can say this is why I'm writing this and this is why it's my Forbidden Fantasy. I have so many fantasys and this is gonna be my way of getting them out and experiencing them someway and in some shape or form.

It's also my way of admitting I crave big dick I want to be fucked so hard I can't walk afterwards. I want to be dominated and to be shown who's the boss. 

This is the start of my Forbidden Fantasy and I'm gonna write down every single one of them that I want and crave and if you wanna follow the ride go ahead or if you don't that's understandable and I hope you are able to cum and hope your orgasm is big reading someone else's.

Until the next time which I don't know when will be but I'm gonna try and sneak a jerk in. I'm gonna sit in my gaming chair and pump my dick fast but carefully and god there's gonna be lots of cum because I haven't touched myself in days. Luckily there is tissue in my room. 

Peace out and until the next time you horny buggers and myself too.