Alex leaves…..
Alex POV
I organised with work to fly to Auckland the next day; it was only a 4-hour flight. We were working a lot of the time remotely anyway, so it didn’t really matter whether I was in Melbourne or Auckland. It was just going to be convenient for when training started up again. I asked Ben if he could go to my place over the next few days and box up my stuff. I sent him a list of what I wanted and where to find it. Jeff was still calling, but I wasn’t ready to talk to him. I had booked a hotel room, so I had somewhere to stay before I started looking for an apartment.
I was relaxing with a beer in my hotel room when I got a call from an unidentified number. I normally wouldn’t answer, but for some reason, I did. So, you decided to run away to Auckland, did you? Max said; I rolled my eyes, not really wanting to have this conversation.
I told him I bet he was glad I had left. You can have Jeff all to yourself now. I would love to have Jeff all to myself, Max said, but that won’t work. I’m married, and Jeff is in a relationship with you. That’s what makes it work between Jeff and me.
“What do you want, Max?” I ask. I take a long pull from the beer, the cold liquid doing nothing to ease the knot in my stomach.
“I want you to understand something,” Max says, his voice carrying that same commanding tone that had made me kneel in my own living room. “Running away doesn’t solve anything.”
“I’m not running away. I’m moving forward.” I hear the defensive edge of my own voice and hate it. I shouldn’t have to defend myself to this man.
“You’re abandoning your relationship because you can’t handle a little discomfort.” Max pauses. I can almost picture him leaning back in a chair somewhere, completely at ease. “That’s weakness, Alex.”
The words sting more than I wanted to admit. I think about Jeff’s face when I walked out, the shock and hurt there. I think about what he must be feeling now.
“Jeff’s quite upset, you know. Been calling me all day, asking what he should do. He feels terrible about what happened.” Max paused. Jeff made his own decision, Max, I tell him, he’s got a mind of his own, he knew how I’d react, but he still went ahead and fucked you anyway.
You and Jeff both wanted this to start, Max counters, his tone sharp. You both agreed to it.
I gripped the beer bottle tighter, the condensation slicking my palm. “Yeah, then he broke our rules, he went behind my back and cheated with you. He was supposed to be loyal to me, have my back, and instead, he” I stopped, unable to finish the sentence without my voice cracking.
“Instead, he what? Got caught up in a moment? Made a mistake?” Max’s voice drops lower, somehow more intimate. “That’s what people do, Alex, sometimes they fuck up. Sometimes they stumble.”
“Don’t do this,” I say, but there’s no real force behind it. I’m exhausted.
“Do what? Tell you the truth?” Max pauses, and I can hear the background hum of what might be a television. Look, Jeff loves you. What happened between us doesn’t change that fact, Alex.
He may love me, but you and he fucked up our relationship. All you think about is who is going to be your next fuck or who’s going to suck your cock. You don’t fucking care who gets hurt in the process.
There was quiet on the other end of the phone. If you have nothing else to say, I’m going now. Max’s tone had changed; no longer the cocky alpha, but someone else, the nice Max? I’m not sure.
“Call him Alex.” He’s hurting; just give him a chance to explain. I was the one who pushed him into the group scene. Ben told me he was alone, so I went over, things got out of control, and I invited a few friends.
I sit there in silence after Max hangs up, the phone going dark in my hand. I take another swig of beer, and the words turn over in my mind: Jeff was alone, Ben told Max, and Max pushed Jeff. Things got out of control.
It’s an explanation, but it feels like an excuse. Because Jeff still had a choice. Jeff still could have called me, could have said no, could have done any number of things other than what he did.
But Max’s voice had shifted something in me when he said it, the rawness underneath the command, the genuine concern. It doesn’t match the Max I know, the one who spits in mouths and feeds me scraps from the floor like a pet.
I set the beer down on the nightstand and stare at the phone, wondering if I should call Jeff, just to make sure he’s okay and let him know I’m okay. I decided to wait until tomorrow; I was tired and needed some rest.
The next day, I woke up around 7.30am, and I got up to make a coffee using one of those hotel coffee pod machines. The phone rang; it was Ben, asking me how I was. I told him I was settling in and spoke to his dad last night. Ben told me that he had spoken to Max as well and told him to stop meddling in my friends’ relationships. I told him, if you don’t leave them alone, I won’t talk to you again. Wow, I said. You didn’t have to do that. Yeah, I did, Ben said. He never knows when to stop. I’ve seen it happen before with one of Liam’s friends.
Anyway, he said, I think you need to talk to Jeff. He’s really worried. I know you don’t want to, but he still loves you. Did you tell Max that Jeff was alone? I asked Ben, remembering what Max had said.
Ben is quiet for a moment. “I was talking to Liam, telling him Jeff was alone at the moment and I needed to go over and visit him at some point,” I think Dad must have overheard.
I close my eyes, pressing the heel of my hand against my forehead. Of course, Max had seized the opportunity. The picture becomes clearer now: Jeff alone in their apartment, probably staring at his phone, waiting for a text or a call from me that didn’t come. And then Max, sensing weakness, the way a predator senses blood in the water.
“You should have been more careful,” I say quietly. “You should have just gone over and kept him company. I thought this was about the three of us. I know you’re into him; you did fuck him behind my back for months. “I know,” Ben says, and there’s genuine regret in his voice. I sense there was more to this story than Ben was revealing. I told him I had to go and hung up.
Fuck, I was just about to jump in the shower when the phone rang again. This time it was Jeff. I thought I’d better get this over with. Hello I said, gruffly answering the phone, Alex, Jeff said, Where are you? Where did you go?
I told him if he really cared about where I was, he wouldn’t have fucked Max and God knows how many others behind my back again. He was quiet for a moment. I could tell he was crying. He said he was sorry. Max got me at a weak moment; I was feeling lonely.
I sit on the edge of the hotel bed, phone pressed to my ear, listening to Jeff’s breathing on the other end of the line. The words hang there between them. Max got me at a weak moment when I was feeling lonely, and I want to throw the phone across the room.
“A weak moment,” I repeat, my voice strained. “That’s what you’re calling it?” I was gone for a week and a half, I told him.
“Alex, please.” Jeff’s voice cracks. “I wasn’t thinking straight. You were gone, you weren’t answering my calls, Ben has been practically avoiding me since you left, and I was lonely.
I closed my eyes. I can picture Jeff in our apartment, the one we chose together, sitting alone, waiting for something to fill the void that my absence created. The image twists something in my chest, but I push it down.
I spoke to Ben, I told Jeff. I asked him if he had let Max know I was away. I don’t think you are all to blame, Jeff, but that doesn’t change the fact that you fucked up.
Well, I’m gone now, and you can do what you want. I’m in Auckland and am staying here. I’ve told Ben to collect my stuff from the apartment. Please don’t do this, Alex, please. Jeff was saying, I love you, I need you, give me another chance, please.
You don’t love me, Jeff. You love Max’s cock; I was there when you told Max you wouldn’t live without his cock again. Remember, I heard it all, Jeff. There was a quiet sobbing on the other end of the phone. I actually started to feel sorry for him.
I trusted you to have my back, Jeff. You didn’t; you let Max manipulate you to the point he was doing things to me, and you weren’t even checking in to see if I was alright. You were meant to be looking after me, Jeff. You were my boyfriend, not Max’s. If you don’t have my back, I can’t be with you.
The line goes quiet. I wait, my breath held, wondering if Jeff has hung up or if he’s still there, still crying on the other end.
“I know,” Jeff says finally, his voice barely a whisper. “I know you’re right. I just... I can’t lose you, Alex. I can’t.”
I close my eyes. Part of me wants to soften, to say something kind, something that might bridge the gap between us. But another part, the part that’s been gutted over the past few days, remains unmoved.
“You already have,” I say quietly. “The moment you let Max through that door; you chose him over me. You chose what felt good in that moment over what we built together.”
I can hear Jeff’s sharp intake of breath, the sound of him trying to gather himself.
“Please don’t say that. Please. I’ll do anything, Alex, please.
“I need time,” I tell him, and the words feel final in a way that scares me. “I need to figure out who I am outside of you and Max and this whole thing. I can’t do that if I’m still in Melbourne; I’m staying here, in Auckland.
Jeff POV
When the blindfold was pulled from my eyes, and I saw Alex standing there, I was stunned. Alex couldn’t be here; he was in Auckland. How could he be here? Fuck I knew this was the end. I’d fucked up for the last time.
The next few days were hell. I tried to ring Alex, but my calls just kept going to his voicemail. I know it was stupid, but I rang Max. I needed some help; I thought he might be able to tell me what I should do. I knew I couldn’t ring Ben. I didn’t trust him anymore. He had been pulling strings the whole time. I think he wanted Alex for himself. When he told Max I was alone, and Alex was away, it became clear to me that he didn’t have my back.
After I finally spoke to Alex in the morning, at least I knew where he was and that he was okay. I was gutted that he didn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore, but I wasn’t going to give up. I would make it up to him; somehow, I would make him see that I really do love him and am willing to do anything for him.
Ben turned up a few days later to box some of Alex’s things. I was pissed. I guess you’re really happy with yourself now, Ben, I tell him. This was your plan all along, wasn’t it, to break us up? Ben looked at me and rolled his eyes. I didn’t have to do anything; you did this all on your own, Jeff. I may have planted a word here or there in Dad’s ear, but ultimately, you can only blame yourself for your own actions.
I stared at Ben, feeling my anger coil tight in my chest. Ben’s words hang in the air between us, casual and cutting all at once.
“You manipulated us,” I say, my voice low. “You knew exactly what you were doing.”
Ben shrugs, moving toward the bedroom to start gathering Alex’s things into boxes. “Maybe. But I didn’t force Alex to leave. I didn’t force you to open the door to my dad. You did that, mate.
I follow him into the bedroom, unable to let it go. “You told Max I was alone. You knew what would happen.”
“Yeah, I did,” Ben says, pulling open a drawer and starting to fold clothes with deliberate care. “And you know what? Part of me hoped you would fuck up. Part of me thought maybe if things fell apart between you two, Alex would leave you for good; he’s too good for you, Jeff. The only part I wasn’t planning for was him moving to Auckland, but I guess you can’t have everything.
Fuck you, Ben. You were meant to be my friend, but now I see you were just using me to get to Alex. How could I have been so blind?
Ben stares at me, his expression hardening into something cold and unyielding. “You want to talk about using people? You used Alex. You let my father humiliate him night after night, and you didn’t do a fucking thing to stop it. So don’t stand there and act like you’re the victim here.”
I feel the words land like a punch to my gut. I open my mouth to respond, but nothing comes out. The truth of it sits there between us, heavy and undeniable.
“Alex deserved better,” Ben continues, moving past me with a box in his arms. “He always did. And maybe now he’ll finally find someone who gives a damn about him instead of just using him as a fucking prop in their pathetic sexual fantasies while they chase anything with a pulse and a hard-on”.
I watch Ben move through the apartment, methodically packing away the pieces of Alex. The photos from our holidays, the books we’d picked out together, the small things that made this space ours, fuck, what have I done?
I sat alone, defeated in the lounge room, tears were streaming down my face, Ben had packed Alex’s things and taken them away. I knew I had to somehow get Alex to see that I could do better, that I wanted to be with only him, that’s if he had an inkling of love left for me.
A plan started to slowly formulate in my head. Over the next few weeks, I started looking for job opportunities in Auckland. I figured if I wanted Alex to take me back, I at least had to be in the same city as him.
Alex POV
It was all a bit daunting moving to a new country and city, even if it was only 3 or 4 hours away from Melbourne. I started settling into a new routine and had to get out to explore my new surroundings. Every weekend, I had been apartment-hunting and was tossing up between 2 apartments in Ponsonby, which was pretty close to the CBD. The area had its fair share of gay clubs and plenty of restaurants and bars.
The apartment I ended up choosing was close to a bus stop, had 2 bedrooms, an open living space, a large kitchen and a courtyard. The shopping centre was close by, and the local pub was within walking distance.
I started buying furniture once I knew the apartment was mine. I was having it delivered on Saturday morning. I had bought a couch with 2 chairs, a dining table and chairs, a bed, and side tables, all to be delivered. I also picked up the boxes from the storage place that Ben had sent over earlier. It would be nice to have some of my own things surrounding me again.
It was a busy Saturday morning, moving furniture around and unpacking boxes. I put some of the boxes in the spare room to open later. The doorbell rang for the second time this morning, the first being the furniture delivery guys. I opened the door to see 2 cute guys standing there, one would have been late 20s to early 30s, tall with dark hair tied back in a bun and a cute dimple in his chin, the other guy was a bit older, mid to late 40s with a few greys on the side but mostly black hair with a short beard, they had a little fox terrier on a leash. Kia ora, the younger of the 2 guys said, I’m Adam, and this is Ted. We live down the road and saw you moving in. We thought we would just stop by and say hello, putting his hand out to shake. Oh, and this is Milo, pointing to the little terrier.
Hi guys, I said, shaking their hands. I’m Alex, just moved here from Melbourne. Great to meet some friendly faces, I tell them, and Milo is gorgeous. He is, isn’t he? Adam says. He loves meeting new people, too. As if on cue, Milo jumps up to my knees, wanting a pat. I reach down and give his coat a stroke, so cute, I tell them.
So, is there a girlfriend or a partner moving in with you, Adam says, looking around. Adam, Ted says, stop interrogating the poor man. Adam looked at Ted playfully, I was just wondering, he said.
It’s fine, I tell them. No, I’m moving in on my own. I broke up with my boyfriend in Melbourne and am starting a new life here in Auckland. Oh, I’m sorry to hear that, Ted said, looking a bit embarrassed. Well, we’re having a couple of friends over later for drinks. If you’ve got nothing better to do, you are more than welcome to join us. I tell them I’ll see how I go with the unpacking, but it sounds good, thanks for the invitation. Adam hands me his phone and tells me to put my contact details in, and he will text me the address.
After they leave, I start to feel a bit more optimistic. The unpacking takes longer than I expected. By the time I’ve arranged the living room furniture and made a dent in the boxes, the afternoon light is already shifting toward evening. My back aches from lifting and carrying, and there’s a thin layer of dust covering my clothes from the storage boxes.
I stand in the middle of my new living room, looking around at the space that’s starting to feel a bit more like my own. The couch sits against the far wall; the chairs are angled toward it. The dining table is positioned to catch the light from the kitchen window. It’s sparse, but it’s mine.
My phone buzzes on the kitchen counter. I retrieve it and see a text from Adam: Still up for drinks? We’re starting around 7. No pressure, though! followed by an address just down the road.
I check the time. It’s nearly six. I could shower, change into something clean, and be ready well in time. I’m happy for the distraction. I’d been thinking about Jeff and how he must be feeling. I know I’d been feeling pretty low at certain times over the last few weeks.
I grab a bottle of Shiraz from the wine rack and head down the road to Adam and Ted’s place and knock on the door.
2 months later
I had just come out of a meeting at work and was headed back to my desk. I noticed a few people hanging around my desk and a huge bunch of Australian Bush native flowers sitting there. Wow, the bunch was huge. I wondered how someone would get their hands on some of these flowers in New Zealand, and realised they had to have been flown in from Melbourne. I looked for a card or a note; there was a card that simply read, “Would love to catch up for coffee,” with no name.
Well, that’s a bit of a mystery, I thought. I went to the front desk to see if Toby knew who delivered the flowers. He looked at me and said, I didn’t get his name, but I remember him, that’s for sure. He was this hot blonde Australian guy, must have been at least 6ft tall and very muscular. He looked a little sad in the eyes, though, for some reason.
My pulse quickened, and I felt a sudden lightness in my chest. Toby had just described Jeff to a T, but Jeff was in Melbourne; it had to be a mistake. I stood frozen at my desk, the flowers impossibly fragrant in the office air. Australian Bush natives. I know exactly how rare those are here; I know exactly how much effort it would take to source them from Melbourne and have them flown across the Tasman Sea. My chest tightens.
“You, okay?” Sarah, one of the team, asks, peering at the card over his shoulder. “Looks like you’ve got an admirer.”
I force a laugh that doesn’t quite land. “Yeah, probably just... someone from work back home.”
But I know better. I know the weight of that gesture, the deliberateness of it. Jeff wouldn’t do something this public, this bold, unless he was desperate. Unless he was trying to prove something.
I take the card and turn it over in my hands, reading the words again. “Would love to catch up for coffee.” No name. I look back at the flowers, really taking them in now. There’s a waratah, its crimson petals unfurling like something alive. Native orchids. Flannel flowers with their soft, fuzzy blooms. These aren’t flowers you just pick up at a local florist. These are intentional. These are expensive.
I leave work at the usual time, carrying my flowers. I was getting quite a few looks on the bus trip home. I was walking up to my apartment building when I bumped into Adam from down the road. “Wow, those flowers are gorgeous,” he said. They are, aren’t they? I respond. So, who are they from? I told him there wasn’t a name written on the card, but I had a feeling they were from Jeff. I had told Adam and Ted part of what happened with Jeff and Max, so they knew Jeff was my ex.
I walked into the apartment and went to get a vase for the flowers when my phone rang. It was a local number, but not one I recognised. I picked it up, hello, I said. Hi Alex, it’s Jeff. I had to sit down; it had been so long since I’d heard his voice, so the flowers were from you, I said.
Did you like them? he said. He sounded different, a bit reserved. I loved them, I told him, they are some of my favourites, but you can’t get them here. I had them flown in from our favourite florist back home, he told me. I thought the florist logo looked familiar.
I would love to catch up for a coffee when you’re free, he says. How long are you in town for I ask him. I live here now, Alex. I packed everything up and sold the furniture and TV. I’ve got a job downtown in Auckland now, and an apartment near Eden Park. I had butterflies in my stomach; I hadn’t felt them in a long time. You moved here? I asked. Alex, I told you I wasn’t going to give up. I’m not going to put any expectations or pressure on you; I just want to catch up for a coffee.
I feel the butterflies intensify, a flutter low in my stomach that I haven’t experienced since before everything fell apart. Jeff is here. In Auckland. He’s moved his entire life for me.
“I...” I start, but the words catch in my throat. I pace toward the window of my apartment, phone still pressed to my ear, needing to move, to think. “Why would you do that?”
“Because I love you,” Jeff says simply. “And because I’ve had a lot of time to think about what I did, what I let happen. I fucked up, Alex. I know that. I’m not asking you to forgive me right now. I’m just asking for a coffee.”
I look at the flowers sitting on my counter, those impossible blooms that shouldn’t exist this far from home. The waratah seems to glow in the late afternoon light filtering through my kitchen window.
“When?” I ask……
The End……….
Epilogue……. coming soon.
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