I closed my journal and walked over to my bed. I sat at the foot of my bed in bewilderment. I was absolutely in awe. I have never felt like this before. I don't know why I am feeling this way. I mean sure I have had a few crushes back in high school, and snuck a peak here and there at the guys in the locker room, but never have I felt this way about someone. He makes me feel...

Suddenly a knock came from my door, interrupting me from my thoughts.

I walked over to the door in my NYU sweatshirt and jeans, and froze. I just kept thinking to myself, stay cool Alex, don't act flirty, don't make him think the wiser.

Another knock sounded

I opened the door and there he was, just as beautiful as our last encounter. Hey man you ready to go? he asked.

Yeah I'm pumped let's go! I said excitedly. Pumped? Who says pumped anymore? Way to start off right Alex!

We walked down the hallway towards the elevator to take us down to the first floor where the party was going on. As we walked I couldn't help but notice his features again. His toned rigid muscles covered by a black and blue flannel, his shaven beard connecting from one side burn to the next, his brilliant white smile, and not to mention his rich hazel eyes.

You alright bud? he asked

Oh yeah sorry, I said quickly 'I thought you had something in your...um...teeth. Sorry...' There we go Alex! Strike two! Control yourself man!

It's all good dude, he laughed

So tell me about yourself Dylan? I asked trying to change the subject.

Oh well let's see, he said pausing for a moment to gather his thoughts. Well I grew up in Seattle until I was about 13 or so, then me and my mom moved here so she could get a well-paying job after my dad died..., his voice trailed off.

I'm sorry about that, I said sympathetically

It's alright bro don't worry about it, he laughed. We reached the elevator and we entered. He pressed the first floor button and the doors closed.

So it's just you and your mom then? I asked wanting to take his mind off his dad

Yep just been me and her against the world! He laughed, I managed to get enough scholarships and financial aid to attend here, majoring in chemistry, wanna know why?

Why? I asked

I've always wanted to be a pharmacist, I know random right, but it's always just been a dream of mine ever since I was a little kid, probably because I've always wanted to wear one of those whit lab coats, he laughed

I smiled and he continued to talk about his interests, and sports he's played, and all the other details about his life. By the time he had finished with his life story we had reached the room where the party was happening. Loud music could be heard from inside along with tons of people laughing and chanting.

You ready for your first college party? he asked with a smile

Eh nothing I can't handle, i laughed

He opened the door and a flood of sound came rushing out. We walked in and all around us were people laughing, talking, drinking, dancing, and, well, partying!

Stay close! Dylan yelled over the music

He grabbed my wrist and led me through the crowd towards the kitchen section of the dorm. It was a little more quite in here then it was out there.

I'm gonna grab a drink, you want one bud? He asked

Yeah sure I said timidly, I was never really one for parties, or even drinking for that matter.

He smiled and left the kitchen towards the crowd. As he walked away, my hormones came charging back and I couldn't help but look down and stare at his butt as he walked away, it was nice and firm in his dark blue jeans.

As he walked out of view I noticed another guy from across the way staring at him too, and then his gaze shifted directly at me. I quickly looked away from him, and tried to act like I was looking at something else.

When I looked back over at the man he was still staring at me, except when we made eye contact he devilishly smiled at me. He was about the same height as me, short black hair that was put into a fohawk, blue eyes, long side burns, white, and wearing a muscle tee and shorts with sneakers. Again I turned away and saw a young black haired girl walk towards me.

Hi I don't think we met I'm Erin; oh sorry I'm a friend of Dylan's she laughed. She had a nice smile with long curly black hair. She had dark brown eyes, and was about a foot or so shorter than me. She was dressed similarly to Dylan except her flannel was obviously made for girls.

Oh hi I'm Alex, I said with a smile

Dylan mentioned he got a new neighbor! You live across the hall right? She asked

I nodded, and Erin and I started chit chatting about one another, and soon we were laughing and having a great time. I found out she was born and raised here in New York, lived part time uptown with her mom, and part time in Queens with her dad. I also found out she is studying photo along with me! Soon Dylan came back with two beers in his hand.

Here you go bud; sorry it took so long I met up with some old buddies of mine, oh hey Erin! He said smiling

Hey stranger I was just talking to your new friend Alex here, she said while motioning her hand towards me.

Did she grill you on every single detail of your life like she did to me? He asked

I laughed, nawh actually we found out that where most likely going to have the same photo class together this year!

He smiled, and the three of us continued to talk and laugh, and eventually I felt right at home with them.

Hey do you know where the bathroom is? I asked

Yeah it's down the hall and two doors down on your right, said Erin

I thanked her and walked over to the door that leads into the hallway. I opened the door, and found myself in a narrow passage way completely empty. I began to walk towards my destination when out of nowhere I was pulled by arm and thrown onto the floor of the room.

Suddenly, a body was on top of me pinning my arms and legs down with there's. I felt lips touch mine, violently. The body I was being pinned against was quickly and violently trying to kiss me and take my clothes off. I struggled against his weight, wriggling back and forth trying to get him off me. I yelled at the top of my lungs and a fist made contact with the side of my face. My attackers hand placed over my mouth as I cried and tried to break free.

Shhhhhh, it's going to be just fine. He said

I took my left arm that was free and swung it across his face knocking him down. I struggled to get and run out of the room but he caught me and threw me across the room with such ease that my body felt like a rag doll. Water polo made me a built guy, but never before had I met someone with such strength. He turned on the lights and I saw his face. It was the same guy that was staring at me in the kitchen.

Now let's play nicely, he said, don't think I didn't see you aweing at him as he walked away, but no matter I have you here now and your all mine, or do you want me to tell everyone your little secret?

How could he have known? How does he know I'm gay? Then again who cares! No matter if he knew or not he could tell everyone anyways, and my life would be over!

In a rage I charged at him. Knocking him to the wall, but he grabbed my shoulders, pushed me off and uppercutted me in the stomach. I fell to the ground in agony, and he took his right hand punched me across the face, knocking me to the floor. My attacker kept punching me, blow after blow, blood seeped through out my nose and eyebrows and I began to feel dizzy. The next thing I knew the door flew open and two people came charging in.

All I could remember is one taking my attacker out of the room and then Erin's face telling me it's going to be ok. Then I blanked out.

I had a dream. I dreamt I was in a huge white open room, like I always am before in my dreams. Across the way is a figure. A man. The same one I always see, and have been seeing. He is tall, about as tall as me, short brown hair, clean shaven, green eyes, white smile, and built like a pro football player. I begin to walk towards him then I find myself stopping. All he does is smile. Then I awake.

I awoke startled. I rubbed my eyes and looked around. I was in a hospital room; a nurse was next to me checking things on a monitor when she noticed I awoke.

Oh my you scared me! She said startled.

Sorry, I said meekly. I felt like I had no air, I hurt everywhere and as I looked I had bruises everywhere on my arms.

You must have taken quite the beating last night, a broken rib, fractured arm, bruises along your torso, this is why young kids shouldn't drink! It's dangerous! She lectured

As much as I loved listening to this old bag of a nurse harp about life lessons, I couldn't help but have flash backs of the night before, remembering each moment so vividly. I gasped and fell back on my bed.

Now you just lay there and get some rest, oh, and you have a visitor, she said

I looked over at the door, and Erin walked in.

She had a faint smile on, but tears could be seen forming in her eyes. The nurse left and she pulled up a chair next to me.

Hey big guy how are you holding up? She asked sweetly

I've been better, I said weakly, I feel like an elephant is sitting on my chest, but other than that I feel just great.

She smiled but then started to cry; she gave me a hug and cried into my shoulder.

I'm so sorry that happened to you! She said while crying, no one should ever have that brought on them, you could have died, or, or...

She didn't finish, but continued to weep. I too was starting to tear up. I had gotten the shit beaten out of me, received the worst first kiss imaginable, and now here I have a girl crying on my shoulder in sympathy for me.

She sat up and looked at me; make up running down her cheeks. I grabbed a tissue on my stand and gave it to her. She smiled at took my hand, rubbing it softly.

The next day I was cleared to leave the hospital. Erin was there to help me get back to the campus. I managed to break my left arm, so they gave me a cast that weighed a hundred pounds, and was thicker than a loaf of bread; well not really, but it felt like that. We got into her car a drove back to school. We didn't talk much except for the occasional how you feeling, or so are you excited for school to start next Monday?

When we got back to the dorm area, I thanked her for everything, and she told me no problem. I walked back to the elevator and up to my room. I fiddled around for the keys in my pocket, but dropped them when trying to unlock the door, suddenly Dylan was behind me.

Oh here let me help, he said

=Thanks, was all I could say. I hadn't spoken to him since I left the kitchen last night. I knew Erin probably told him everything, and he knew probably that I didn't want to talk about it, but I wanted more than anything for him to speak to me, to comfort me.

He opened my door, and gave me back my keys.

You wanna come in? I asked

Sure, he said

=We walked into the apartment, and I told him to make himself at home, and I walked into my bedroom and sat at the foot of my bed. I just sat there taking in everything that had happened. While taking it all in I began to cry. Here I am, 20 years old, crying like a little girl. I didn't even notice Dylan walking in.

He came in and sat next to me. He put his big arm around me and just held me, as I cried.

It's alright bud, you don't have to worry about it anymore, you're not going to be seeing anymore of him, I made sure of that, he said

Then it hit me, Dylan was the one who was also in the room last night, he's the one that pulled him off of me, he saved me.

Thank you was all I could say again, I just felt so helpless, so weak, I just...

It's ok, he said kindly, I'm here for you, I won't let anything like that ever happen to you again, I promise.

I looked up at him with a tear stained face, we stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity. Then by sudden urge, I lunged towards him, kissing him passionately. In an instant I thought, what are you doing Alex?! He's not gay! Why are you doing this?!, but then all my worries faded away when he took his hand and pulled my head in closer. He kissed me genuinely, so softly, it was out of this world. The only time we stopped was when our lips parted to breathe. What seemed to last like hours, only lasted for a minute. He pulled away, but kept his forehead touching mine, and spoke looking down, as did I.

I promise, was all he said

He got up and gave me a kiss on the forehead, and told me he had to go meet with his professor, but that we would get dinner later tonight. And with that he left my room.

All I could do was sit there and take in THIS moment. I could still taste his lips, so soft against mine. I wanted that kiss to never end, but I knew this could not be the end.

***Diary Entry***

Wow what a whirlwind first day! Met a new friend, took a trip to the hospital, got the shit beaten out of me, but found an amzing guy. That kiss was so perfect, like something out of a romance movie. I think he might like me, and I think I might like him...


Suddenly there was a knock on the door. I got up from my bed and walked to the door. I opened it up and there standing in front of me was Him. The man I have had dreams about for months now. The man who does nothing but smile at me. The one who is beyond handsome.

Hi my names James! he said, I'm your new roommate!


Derreck Jones

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