(Erotic skit for 3 guys)
Scene: Three buddies sitting on the floor in a living room after prayer. The prayer rugs are still unrolled. They get physically closer as the sketch progresses.
Ahmed (calm, thoughtful, staring at Karim’s ass): Guys… haven’t you ever found it weird? At the mosque, when everyone lines up for prayer… we spend our time staring at the asses going up and down in front of us. Isn’t that position a little too perfect?
Karim (arching his back exaggeratedly): Hahahaha! I especially love it when Brother Bilal is in front. His ass is shaped like a peach, wallah! When he says “Allahu Akbar,” it claps like two ripe melons!
Youssef (red-faced, uncomfortable): Ahmed… stop it. What you’re saying is haram. We’re talking about prayer, not… this shit.
Ahmed (hand on Youssef’s thigh): Exactly. And even before every prayer, we have to do wudu: wash our ass, balls, and dick… Allah wants us to touch and think about these parts very often, several times a day. You really think that’s a coincidence? It’s so we’re forced to caress them, soap them up… and then we end up with our asses in the air during prayer. The consequences come naturally, Inch’Allah…
Karim (miming wudu in an obscene way, washing his ass and dick with suggestive gestures): “Rub it well everywhere… yeah like that… Allahu Akbar, it’s already half hard!”
Ahmed: Why did Allah ask us to get on our knees with our asses up and forehead on the ground, five times a day? It’s extremely suggestive. Don’t you think the Prophet and his companions were already getting off on organizing all this?
Karim (getting on all fours and miming): “Come on guys… bend over nicely… lower… even lower… yes, just like that! Submission is beautiful, submission! Allahu Akbar!”
Youssef (protesting but laughing nervously): You guys are completely insane… This is blasphemous!
Ahmed: They were all men in the desert, no women for months… They were definitely looking. They must have been rock hard thinking “Inch’Allah that one’s gonna get fucked good in paradise.”
Ahmed: And that makes me think about paradise… We’re promised 72 houris, but what about male houris? And on top of that, we’re all circumcised… Allah wanted us to have nice, clean, visible cocks, ready to be sucked up there.
Karim (miming a leather submissive houri, rubbing himself against Ahmed’s leg): “Master Ahmed… I was created just so you can destroy my ass with your blessed dick. Take me like you took Mecca, Inch’Allah!”
Youssef (shaking voice): Male houris… will we be allowed to kick them in the ass? (hides his face in horror) Fuck… I shouldn’t have said that! It’s horrible what’s coming out of my mouth…
Ahmed (sadistic smile): Oh yes you should have. Look how hard you’re getting. You want to hit little submissive bottoms, admit it.
Karim (slapping Youssef’s ass): “Take that, you filthy houri! Take my foot in your submissive ass! And then I’ll piss on you to purify you, Allahu Akbar!”
Ahmed: Speaking of hiding guys… the veil is the most perfect tool. You put a niqab on a well-hung brother, bring him home, and no one knows anything. Muhammad and his companions must have had a great laugh with this trick.
Karim (miming the scene using Youssef as the “wife”): “Fatima, come into the tent!” (lowers imaginary veil) “Surprise! It’s me, Abu Bakr! Let’s seal the alliance properly!” (mimes brutal thrusts while grunting)
Ahmed: That’s why he never had a male son despite all those “wives.” They weren’t wives… it was a discreet harem of bottoms under niqabs. And they even say Muhammad received revelations while one of his companions was secretly sucking him under the tent… The divine connection passed through the dick, Inch’Allah!
Youssef: You’re going to make us burn… This is too much.
Ahmed: And during Ramadan? We’re starving all day… and at night we fill ourselves another way. The Prophet knew the dick would take over, Inch’Allah!
Ahmed: And during the Hajj, we walk around the Kaaba like dogs in heat… thousands of guys rubbing ass against dick for 7 laps. The Prophet really thought of everything.
Karim (miming tawaf, turning and rubbing against the other two): “Turn… rub… another lap… Allahu Akbar, I can feel your cock!”
Ahmed: Allah himself must love watching all these asses rising toward Him five times a day. Otherwise why impose this exact position? The two guardian angels on our shoulders note everything: the one on the right records good deeds, the one on the left notes that we were hard watching the brother’s ass in front of us. And Allah reads it all while touching himself.
Youssef (still a bit resistant): This is nonsense…
Ahmed: Those who truly understood the hidden message will be rewarded. The rigid moralists? Straight to hell. There’s even a verse that talks about “eternal boys circulating” in paradise, beautiful like hidden pearls… You really think they’re just there to serve us tea?
Karim: Hell is a giant BDSM dungeon! Demons with huge cocks whipping the Salafists: “You wanted to forbid pleasure? Now you’re gonna take it in every hole, you uptight fuck!”
Ahmed: And when we get up there, Allah will look at us with a big smile and say: “Well done guys! You deciphered the real message! You saw the signs I left you: the asses in the air, the veil, the ablutions, the tawaf, the boys of service… You understood! The others just prayed stupidly, but you came with intelligence. Enter, my favorite perverts!”
Karim (miming Allah congratulating): “Well played guys! You’re the only ones who read between the lines of My Book, Inch’Allah!”
Youssef (struggling hard, very aroused but tormented): But why does this turn me on so much?! It’s not normal! I should be disgusted… I should hit you… and instead I’m harder than I’ve ever been. It feels like my dick understood the message before my brain! It’s wrong, it’s blasphemous… It turns me on even more than regular porn. What the fuck is wrong with me?
Ahmed (low, dominant voice, very close): Nothing is wrong. Exactly. This pleasure that’s so strong, so deep, even though it’s forbidden and blasphemous… that’s the proof it’s divine. The real message is hidden for the initiated. The dirtier it is, the truer it is. Allah put this forbidden thrill so we would feel it.
Youssef (heavy breathing, hand slowly moving down): Fuck… you’re right… it makes sense…
Ahmed : And the best part: the most perverted among us will dominate Allah Himself. We’ll pin Him down, pull down His robe and fuck Him.
Youssef (scream of horror, panicked): NO! NOT ALLAH! You’re sick! Dominate the Creator?! The Almighty on all fours?! This is the worst blasphemy in the universe! I can’t… I should be vomiting… and yet my dick is throbbing like crazy!
Ahmed (sadistic smile, very crude): Exactly. The bigger the blasphemy, the hotter it gets. Imagine Him begging with His divine voice: “Fuck me harder, my son… I created everything just to feel your big cock in My eternal ass.”
Karim (miming Allah in heat, very demonstrative): “Yes Master! Rip Allah’s ass apart! I invented prayer just to stare at your asses all day! Allahu Akbar in My hole! Harder!”
Ahmed: We’ll put clamps on His divine nipples, whip His ass with lightning bolts. And in the end, Allah will end up in hell, whipped by all the perverted damned. They’ll piss on Him while screaming “Takbir!” as He cums like a divine whore.
Karim (miming Allah being whipped and pissed on, in ecstasy): “Harder! Takbir! I created everything for this! Whip me, my children!”
Youssef (completely breaks, pulls out his dick): I can’t take it anymore… you’ve completely destroyed me…
Ahmed : Before we cum, let’s do a little blasphemy contest: the most vicious wins. Youssef, on your knees and say it loud: “I am the biggest hypocritical Muslim cock-lover, Inch’Allah!”
Youssef (red with shame and excitement, repeating while touching himself): I am… the biggest hypocritical Muslim cock-lover… Inch’Allah…
Karim (grabs Youssef’s hand and presses it against his own hard cock): Come on, jerk me off while you say it. Bismillah ar-Rahman ar-Rahim… on my dick, Subhanallah what a beautiful cockhead!
Ahmed: Alright, paradise prayer: asses in the air, hands on cocks, and we cum on the blasphemy, Inch’Allah!
[The three of them openly jerk off, laughing, moaning, continuing the perverted invocations (“Allahu Akbar… harder!”, “Astaghfirullah… I’m gonna cum!”) and teasing each other.]
End of sketch.
