Midnight Cowboy
“WHOO HOOOO! WHOO HOOOO!”
I sat bolt upright in bed. “THE FUCK IS THAT?”
“WHOO HOOOO! YOU THERE, SONNY? OLD GEORGE CAUGHT A SNAKE!”
Walt sat up and looked around. I finally realized the shouting was coming through the radio extension. I hauled myself out of bed and answered it. “George?”
“That you, sonny?”
“Yeah. What’s up?”
“Caught us a snake, lad, a claim jumper! Better hurry ‘fore me and the boys string ‘im up!”
“On my way.”
I struggled into my pants and threw a shirt over my shoulders. Walt got up and dressed as well. I almost told him to stay put, but there didn’t seem to be a point. He would argue and I would insist and we’d wind up shouting at each other. It was safe enough to let him come. I was tying my shoes when Charlie beat on the bedroom door. I called him into the room. He was dressed but very rumpled.
“Should I get dad?”
“You’d better. If the old timers really caught someone, he’s going to want to be in on this.”
He ran off. I finished with my shoes and took my borrowed revolver from the nightstand. I checked the load and holstered the weapon. The bedside clock said it was two in the morning.
Walt and I stumbled into the farmyard. Charlie and David hurried out behind. We loaded ourselves into the Suburban and took off for the Krengel farm. David asked what was going on.
“The old timers say they caught someone. That’s all I know. If I had to guess, I’d bet they caught our blue cowboy in the middle of more mischief.”
We crossed the farm at breakneck speed and slid to a stop near the Krengel barn. The man-door at the top of the ramp hung open and orange light shone from inside. David and Charlie ran up. Walt and I followed as fast as we could. The scene inside was roughly what I expected it to be.
Keith, the blue cowboy, was on the floor. His hands were tied behind his back, and his feet were bound together. The old men clustered around with their handguns holstered and their long guns at rest. An oil lamp burned from the tailgate of the grain truck to cast a soft glow on the group and deep shadows on the floor.
I stood near the cowboy’s head where I could look down on him. “More truck trouble, Keith?”
George held out a pair of road flares. “He had these.”
“Ah, another accidental fire, huh? I suppose it would be the barn this time.” I remembered Charlie checking around the hayloft for leaks and his warning about the spontaneous combustion of hay. “I’m sure the roof must’ve leaked and the hay caught fire, right Keith?”
He struggled against his bindings and refused to say a word.
I kept talking. “You’re fucked; caught in the middle of a crime. Arson and attempted murder.”
He balked. “MURDER? WHAT MURDER?”
I gestured to the old timers. “These men were sleeping. You could have killed them with your flares.”
He struggled against the ropes again. “You got nothin’ on me!”
I rattled off some charges like Sheriff Andy would have. “I’ve got trespass, criminal mischief, attempted arson, attempted murder. Now that I’ve got you, I’ve also got your fingerprints. I bet they’re all over the machine shed where you were sabotaging poor Lars Krengel’s equipment. I bet they’re also on the flare cap you dropped when you torched the house the other day. If I had to guess, they’re probably on the bookcase that killed poor old Lars Krengel. You’re fucked my friend. How fucked you are depends on how much you tell us right now. I don’t care about you so much. I want who pays you. Who else is involved?”
“Involved in what? You got nothin! You can’t keep me here! I got rights!”
I took my gun off my belt and showed it to him. “Last I checked, a corpse doesn’t have any rights. If I blast you because I caught you trying to break in here, the only story anyone will hear is mine. Oh, and don’t look for Sheriff Andy to save you. If I telephone anyone, it’ll be the state police, not the sheriff’s office.”
His eyes flared wide in surprise and fear when I mentioned Andy. I wasn’t sure if I was right to expose what we knew about the connection between the men, but I needed something to shake him with. I must’ve struck a nerve because he denied it.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about!”
I used my foot to roll him onto his back. I wished I could have squatted down to deal with him face to face, but my knees wouldn’t have stood for the abuse. I kept speaking while I stood over his prone body. “You know exactly what I’m talking about. Someone wants this property and you were told to make the owner sell. You might’ve gotten away with it, except I’m a suspicious old man. I can see funny business a mile away. Who’s in charge? It’s not the sheriff. He’s not smart enough. It’s not you. Who’s the money man? Tell me, and maybe I’ll let you go. Keep your secret and maybe I’ll blow your brains out for spite.”
He didn’t believe me. “FUCK YOU!”
“Fuck me, is it? Alright. We can do this the hard way if you want.” I called for some help. “David, Charlie, get him on his feet.”
Charlie bent down to do as I asked, but David was more cautious. “What are you gonna do, Law?”
“I’m going to ask him some questions. If I don’t get the answers I want, I’m going to put a bullet in his brain.”
David balked, but I winked at him where Keith couldn’t see. He understood and played along. “Alright, Law. I’ve had enough of this nonsense.” He gestured to Charlie. “Get his arm and help me stand him up.”
David and Charlie heaved Keith to his feet and held him. He struggled some more, but he was helpless between the two bigger men. I held my revolver up for him to see and broke the cylinder from the frame. I shook the rounds out and put them in my pocket. I kept one loose and slid it back in the gun. I shifted the weapon to my left hand and shook my right like I was in pain. “Don’t get old, Keith. Arthritis is a bitch. Then again, maybe you won’t have to worry about it.”
I let him see the one round I put back in the cylinder. “See that? I’ve got one question and you’ve got up to five chances to answer it.” I turned my back to him and let him see the gun over my shoulder while I rolled the cylinder awkwardly with my right hand. I tried to close the gun left-handed, but the cylinder hinge was too tight for the mechanism to snap closed on its own. I lowered the weapon so I could use both hands to close it.
What I really did was to knock the final round loose from the cylinder. The gun was empty when I closed it, but no one knew that. Keith wouldn’t be able to tell from the front of the gun because the light from the oil lamp wasn’t bright enough for him to see in the front of the cylinder or down the short barrel.
When I turned around to face the cowboy, I noticed George was behind him. I asked the old prospector to move. “Don’t want brains on your face, George, not that I think there’s any in this head, but just in case.” He grinned his stained teeth and took out his tobacco to whittle a piece off. Old George seemed to know I was playing a game.
I started my tough guy act and pressed the gun to Keith’s forehead. I forced my painful index finger to pull the trigger. The hammer drew back and snapped on an empty chamber.
He shouted and fought to get away. “WHAT THE FUCK?”
I let the gun fall to my side. “Oh, shit. I’m sorry. I forgot to ask you a question.” I shrugged indifferently. “One chance down. I wonder how many left.”
I held the gun to his forehead again. “Who’s in charge, Keith? We know about you and Andy. We know you sabotaged the equipment and burned the house. We even know you infected the stock. We know Andy has been running cover for your antics. We’ve had enough of your bullshit, and we want to know who’s responsible. Tell me, or I’ll fucking kill you.”
He ground his teeth and fought against Charlie and David. I pulled the trigger again.
He screamed and fought some more. Charlie and David held him fast, but Charlie was getting nervous. “Law, I don’t think…”
I shushed him from inside my tough guy character. “Shut the fuck up! Are you a man like your dad or a fuckin’ mouse? How much more bullshit are you willing to stand for?”
David backed me up. “Hold tight, son. Don’t interrupt Law when he’s working.”
Charlie squared his shoulders and firmed his grip on Keith’s arm.
I leaned forward on my hips to sneer at the captured cowboy. “Fuck you, Keith! You’re guilty as sin and you deserve to be punished. One way or the other, your bullshit ends tonight. Either you’ll spill your guts and we’ll catch the big boss, or I’ll blow your fucking brains out and your boss will have to find a new lacky for his games.” I stared into his scared eyes. “You were always disposable. That’s why they hired you.”
I held the gun up again. “Two chances down. I wonder how many more. You ready to talk yet?”
He wasn’t ready. “YOU’RE CRAZY! I DIDN’T DO NUTHIN’!”
I tried to pull the trigger again but my hand locked and my index finger refused to work. I switched the gun to my left hand and pulled the trigger. Keith screamed and started to cry. He went from denying to begging. “Please, mister. They’ll kill me if I talk.”
I held the gun up to his forehead again. “I’ll kill you if you don’t. Three chances down. No idea how many to go. You ready to give me a name yet?”
Tears ran down his face. His whole body shook. He was nearly broken. I asked once more. “Three chances down, Keith. Fourth time lucky, or maybe not. You ready to talk?”
He begged me to stop. “PLEASE!”
I pulled the trigger and the hammer snapped on an empty chamber. Keith broke. His knees gave out. David and Charlie lost their grip as he became dead weight between them. They let him sink to the floor. I struggled down to put my head next to his. My knees objected with severe pain. Keith was hysterical. I put my hand over his jabbering mouth and whispered. “Give me a name.”
He forced it through his tears. “Simon Hansen.”
I reached out for help off my knees. Charlie and David hauled me to my feet. I rubbed my knees and stalked toward the door and out onto the ramp. I beckoned Charlie with me to have a private word. I tried to break the cylinder from the gun, but my hands wouldn’t cooperate. I handed the gun over and told him to open it. He broke the cylinder loose and gasped. “You mean…”
I shushed him and whispered an apology. “I’m sorry for what I said.”
Walt came out and whispered between us. “Tell me you didn’t almost kill that man.”
Charlie showed him the empty gun and whispered an explanation. “There weren’t any bullets in it.”
Walt put his hand over his heart in relief. “Thank God. I almost…I don’t know what I almost. I was nervous. I trusted you, but I was nervous.”
David came to our conference. I whispered the name to him. “Simon Hansen is behind the whole thing. It was the sharp business operator all along. I don’t know what we do about it, but that’s the name and he’s our man. For now, we’ve got an arsonist to deal with. Call the state police. See if you can convince them not to share the call with the sheriff’s office. I’m not in the mood to deal with Andy tonight.”
David said he’d try and hurried off to do as I asked. Charlie stayed. He lit a cigarette with a hand that shook. He offered one to me. I accepted with a hand that shook and praised him. “You did well. You stood firm when most men your age would have folded. I’m impressed.”
He blew a long breath out. “Fuck me, I was scared.”
“Did you think I was going to kill him?”
“I didn’t know.”
“You didn’t trust me?”
“I trusted my dad. He told me to hold fast, so I did.”
I exhaled some smoke and nodded. “That’s fair. I went pretty damn far with my act and you don’t know me like your dad does. You didn’t see, but I winked at him when I told you to stand Keith up. He knew I had a plan and trusted me enough to let me work. Me and him have been through some ugly shit together. We’ve earned each other’s trust. Hopefully you and I will never have to do anything like that again. That said, you should be proud to know what you’re capable of.”
“I guess I am, but I’m kind of surprised how far I went.”
I patted his shoulder. “You did what had to be done. That’s what men do.”
I left Charlie with his thoughts and went to check on George and the old timers. They were lined up against the back of the grain truck. Keith remained on the floor. He’d quieted but was clearly miserable. George eyed me warily. “Yur a son-of-a-bitch, huh, sonny?”
I skipped the question and pointed my cigarette at Keith. “How’d you catch him?”
“Eli spotted ‘im a sneakin’ ‘round. He rousted us and we got the drop on ‘im when he come through the door. Eli and Oscar covered ‘im, and Denny trussed ‘im up.”
“Good work.”
“You got yur man. You gonna want us on dooty tomorrah?”
I smoked my cigarette and nodded over it. “I don’t know what they’ll do when they find out their boy is locked up. I’d rather you stay on guard.”
He frowned at his feet. “We’ll need more beer.”
I guessed he was tired of all beer and no whiskey. I offered some enticement to stick it out a little longer. “Settle for beer another day or so and I’ll get you the nicest bottle of whiskey this town has to offer. One for each of you. How’s that?”
He stuck his hand out. “DEAL!”
We shook and George was happy again.
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