Merry Christmas Professor

A follow to Internal thoughts.

A Christmas Eve Professor Andrew Roberts is unlikely to forget. 

Christmas Eve afternoon, I  walked along market street in my adopted city of Manchester in Northwest England with a Waterstones bag in my hand. My woollen coat had its collar turned up and was fastened against the cold east wind. I  wore a woollen hat over my head and occasionally I pushed my horn rimmed glasses up as they had a tendency to slip down to the edge of my nose. I had as usual left my Christmas shopping till the last minute, although I had posted my cards a week ago. I still hadn’t bought my gifts. Not that I had many to buy for. Books for my sister Rachel, aftershave for her husband Dave. And perfume for my other sister Rose.

The streets were heaving with last minute shoppers, the bustling crowds pushed their way past me as I meandered my way through the crowds as best I could. The cloudy sky and biting wind suited my Mood, not a particularly good one. 

Street buskers vied for notice playing a variety of different music from classical to modern hip hop and everything in between, along with a Salvation Army band and choir performing traditional carols. Street vendors sold hot food. Here and there crowds stopped to listen to the music or buy and eat the available food. I bypassed it all fighting my way through the busy throng. 

“Fucking crowds”. I muttered to myself as I entered another busy shop, I  took my woollen hat off and stuffed it into my coat pocket. I had already procured the books for Rachel. Now I was in Selfridges to buy aftershave and perfume. I went up to the Dior counter, not for any particular reason, it was just the first one I arrived at. 

As I waited I perused the fragrances on display, a dazzling display of perfumes, lotions and aftershaves assaulted my senses, all decked in bright lights, baubles and tinsel, overhead a sound system played the usual Christmas songs, all of which made me feel slightly unsettled and nervous, I hated the busy throng, I  wished I was at home, reading or researching for my next book. I frowned at the choices on offer, unable to make up my mind, I stood and waited for a server to have time to speak to me. Finally after what seemed like ages, but in reality  no more than a minute or two, a young lady with dyed blond hair, a short skirt, too tight a blouse and too much makeup deigned to speak with me.

“Can I help you sir”. The hassled young lady asked with a slight frown on her face,

“ Yes please, I want some aftershave for my brother in law, and perfume for my sister”.

“Well sir this is our best selling aftershave. It’s Called Sauvage. It’s available in 60ml or 100ml, it’s raw but noble all at once, and has a burst of juicy freshness.”

All this was said as she sprayed a small amount onto a piece of card and shook it . Then handed it to me.

I  took the proffered card and took a sniff. The young lady waited patiently as I made up my mind. In reality I wasn’t really worried after all I wasn’t going to wear it so why waste time choosing? 

After a few moments pretending to think. I said.

“ Yes that’s fine, it's lovely, I will take the 60ml bottle, can you wrap it please”? 

“ Certainly, anything else sir”?

“ Yes, some perfume for my sister please”.

“ This is called Miss Dior. It comes in 30, 50 or 100ml bottles, it’s bright, colorful, and  a floral delight. Its top note is tangy red berry. At its heart is Grasse and Damascus roses. These infinite blooming fresh flowers are comforted in a base of white musk. It’s positive and joyful. So it’s irresistible sir”.

I  half listened to the young lady’s sales pater. I took the proffered card, sniffed it, And finding it to my satisfaction, agreed to take the 50ml bottle.  

“ Could you wrap that as well please”?

“Certainly sir. Is there anything else I can help you with today”? 

“ No Thankyou that’s all”. 

“ The wrapping will only take a few moments sir”.

I  stood, waited and watched as an assistant wrapped my purchases. I took time to glance around, most of the shoppers were men. Both young and old. Here and there women were dragging along husbands and children, all looking fed up and wondering what on earth to buy their loved ones. The perfume counters were particularly busy as was the lingerie section. All the men looked like they would rather be anywhere else than where they were now. More than likely in the pub with their mates or in the armchair snoozing. There seemed to me to be a distinct lack of the Christmas spirit. Especially where I was concerned.

Finally the server handed me a bag containing the 2 gifts I had bought.

“ That’s £145.00 please”

I  placed my debit card in the machine. And paid for my purchases. 

“ Thankyou, please call again”. 

I  nodded and left without saying another word. “ Home time”,I muttered to myself. I  was going to my sister and brother in law for Christmas until the 27th, so I  didn’t need any provisions. 

As I walked outside the chill wind drove straight through me, the sky was still cloudy and threatened rain, so I put up my collar and reached into my coat pocket for the woollen hat and placed it back on my head. Bags in hand I started the 10 minute walk back to my apartment.

As I went along I  looked up at the buildings as I walked. Victorian buildings vied for space with ultra modern steel and glass skyscrapers along with 1960s and 1970s box type edifices that haven't, as yet, been demolished, empty shops boarded up and empty,looking forlorn, the opposite of the brightly decorated shops customers were wandering in and out of. Trams rattled past, cars, buses and taxis waited in queues. All around people walked with shopping bags and children in hand, occasionally excited young couples with babies in prams and toddlers in pushchairs all looking forward to spending their 1st Christmas together as a family or with loved ones. 

As I slowly made my way away from the shops, the crowds thinned, though not by much. Central Manchester always seemed to be busy at any time of day or night. I  didn’t mind though. Being alone in a city has its advantages. There were always people to watch. Not being a talkative type of person, it suits me when people don't talk to me. Being surrounded by strangers was definitely a plus, as far as I was concerned. 

Finally I turned into George st and arrived at the building called the Blue Brick Apartments. So called as was a 6 story blue brick building with black window frames.  That gave it a cool and sophisticated look. I entered the foyer and was welcomed by the concierge. I went to the elevator and pressed the button for the 3rd floor. The door opened and I entered the elevator and let it take me to the 3rd floor. I exited, walked a short distance and arrived at my door. I unlocked it and walked over the threshold. The apartment was semi dark and unlit, and near silence welcomed me, the hum of the central heating boiler being the only sound, I took off my woollen hat and put it back into my coat pocket. I took off my coat and hung it in a cupboard and locked the front door.

The bathroom was immediately on the left. The 2nd bedroom was on the right, which I had turned into my office, with a sofa bed in there, just in case. Next on the left is my ensuite bedroom and opposite that an open plan kitchen and living area, it is that room that I entered. 

I am so used to living alone I don't  even think about it, well not much anyway. I turned on the light and put my bags onto a small table to be dealt with later. No decorations decked the room. No tree stood in a corner or by the window, no presents sat under the nonexistent tree. The whole apartment was bare and wholly unfestive. There were just a few Christmas cards from work colleagues or family and a small amount from my old university friends that I keep in touch with. It doesn't bother me that much anyway. I was going to be with my sister and her husband over the festive period, and there was the visit to my other sister on Boxing Day. I  remembered that my parents disliked Christmas when I was a child, so I supposed that it just rubbed off on me. 

I went over to my kitchen area and put the kettle on to make a cup of tea. There wasn’t any trouble or worry that couldn’t be eased by a cup of tea and a couple of biscuits as far as I was concerned. I picked out my favorite mug and put some milk into it. Next I put some tea leaves into a small tea pot, and waited for the kettle to boil leaning on the kitchen counter. I looked around my small kitchen area, it  was dark gray with white worktops with all the usual kitchen amenities. The floor was wooden parkade throughout. 

The kettle boiled and I poured the boiling water into the teapot and put a small tea strainer on top of it, I stirred the teapot and reached into a cupboard to get a couple of custard cream biscuits putting them onto a small plate while I waited for it to brew. After waiting for a couple of more minutes I poured the tea through the tea strainer to catch the tea leaves. I put the waste tea leaves into the bin and the used cutlery and tea strainer into the sink. Then taking the tea and biscuits to my small table I  sat and thought about wrapping the books for my sister Rachel. 

“Sellotape, wrapping paper, ribbons and bows, scissors, gift tags and pen, all there”. I  muttered to myself . I took a sip of my tea and a bite of my biscuit and placed it back on the plate. I  picked up my wrapping paper, it was silver with pearl speckles through it. I took my time. I wasn’t very good at wrapping gifts, usually a gift bag and some tissue paper stuffed in the top would suffice, but this year, for some reason, i decided to make an effort. 

Book placed just so, corners folded so, more folds here and there, cut through there, fold over and a small length of tape along there, Let it meet and more folding and more tape. Ribbons along there lift, cross over and tie into a neat bow, with a parcel bow on top in the corner. Repeat twice more for the 3 books in total. Writing out the gift tags I taped them onto the now wrapped presents.

“There, not too bad” I  said to myself. 

 I  placed them into a Christmas bag I  had found in a cupboard, I put them in and placed the perfume and aftershave on top. I drained my cup and finished the last biscuit. Dusting the crumbs off my fingers, I stood and walked over to the front door and placed it by the door so I wouldn't forget it in the morning. I walked back into my living area and tidied up the mess, throwing away what I didn’t want and what I did want I would put in my wardrobe later, I put my used pots in the sink to wash up later. 

2 hours later I woke up. I had nodded off while reading one of my Wheel of Time books while sitting on my cream 2 seater sofa. I am constantly rereading these books as there is so much in them. That is partly the reason why I love them so much. The room was lit only by a standard lamp. It’s bright light perfect for angling the light directly to where I was reading. My book had slipped onto the floor and my reading glasses were perched precariously on the end of my nose. 

I  stood and stretched, making that strange sound that people make while doing so. I  changed my glasses back to my usual horned rim ones, then glanced around the room, mostly bathed in the dark, the lamp being the only source of light. The oak parkade floor that covered the whole apartment, the white rug, the magnolia painted walls, the pictures on the wall, 3 in number, one was a small copy of the haywain by Turner, the other 2 being photographs, the 1st was an overhead photo of the farm my family grew up in, on the Fylde in Lancashire, the 2nd one being me and my family on a rare holiday in the New Forest, a family photo, and the only one I love, as it is the only one where we were all smiling. A TV mounted on the wall, I  don’t need a large tv as I rarely watch that source of  entertainment. A shelving unit with my small collection of books by Tolkien, Eddings, Donaldson and most importantly Robert Jordan. My complete collection of the Wheel of time is my pride and joy, and sits pride of place on the middle shelf.  A drinks cabinet in the shape of a globe, with  2 crystal decanters and glasses,one with scotch whiskey the other French Brandy. I  placed the book I’d been reading back in its place. Other items of furniture were a small table with 3 chairs for dining, another small table by my cream sofa and a cream armchair, finally a shelf with small nick nacks on it and at the moment my few Christmas cards. I then wandered over to my kitchen to start my evening meal.

Chicken curry was on the menu tonight. I got out the frying pan and put in a small amount of oil and put it on the ring to heat. Next I diced up a chicken breast and put it into the oil to cook, while that was cooking I  diced up an onion and put it in the pan. Garam masala, oregano, ginger and a few raisins to sweeten. Finally a cooking sauce was added. I don’t pretend to be a good cook. As far as I am concerned I am adequate enough for my own needs. While that was cooking I tidied up and made myself another cup of tea. Finally I put some microwaveable rice into the microwave. Then I poured out a  cup of tea and dished up, and ate my evening meal listening to Pink Floyd on my Echo.

8pm found me walking through the Door at Bar Velvet. I wouldn’t usually go out on Christmas Eve, but it was Sunday, and I always go out on Sunday evening. The bouncer welcomed me. Since the beginning of November the Staff had been quite friendly, even reserving a table for me by the window every Sunday, I’d never asked them too. It had just happened, I wasn't sure why. The bar was quite busy. 2 people worked the bar, one of them the surly one who I thought had gone to seed. I had later found out his name was Sean. 

“Hello prof, the usual”? Sean asked.

“Yes please”.

“Looking forward to tomorrow? got any plans”?

“Oh erm, I suppose I am, I’m going to my sister and her husband, who live just outside Preston”.

“Sounds nice”, £6.00 please”.

“Thank you, it will be I go every year, I go to see my other sister on Boxing Day. Then come back on the 27th”.

“ Enjoy, I’m going to meet some friends for the day, it will be great”. 

Sean walked off to serve more customers, leaving me to walk to my reserved table. 

I sat and looked out of the window. All the outside tables and chairs had been put away for the winter, leaving the cobbled street bare. People walked quickly, huddled up in thick coats, hats and scarves to get to whatever destination they were heading to. All to a person intent on getting into the Christmas Spirit. One single young man walking along the cobbles caught my eye, his neat brown hair and perfectly fitting jeans, he was wearing a red Christmas jumper, with Rudolph on it and on his head was a Santa hat. I recognised him from somewhere, though I  couldn’t quite place him. Then he turned into bar Velvet.

The young man entered Bar Velvet. And headed confidently to the bar, while he waited to be served he glanced around. He caught my eye. He nodded at me and smiled,I  smiled politely back. The young man paid for his bottle of beer and headed over to me. I was dumbfounded, I wondered why this beautiful young man was walking over to me. I recalled him from somewhere, that much I knew, but from where? 

“Professor”? 

My thoughts were disturbed by a voice. I was so lost in my them, I looked right through the young man.

“Professor Roberts”?

“That’s me”.

We looked at each other, the young man full of confidence, me less so.

“Do you remember me”?

“I do recall you from somewhere young man but from where escapes me, sorry”.

“It’s Ben, Ben Slocombe”.

“ Good god it’s Mrs Slocombe, please take a seat”.

I looked into Ben's large brown eyes,I could lose myself in those eyes, I  thought, but said nothing. Ben had been a former student, and a promising one at that. The nickname had been a way to try and bring Ben down a peg or 2, or to drive him to better himself. I could never be sure if it had worked, Ben was always a confident student, always sure of himself, and always asking awkward questions, that was why I pushed him hard. He was a promising young man, and I was determined to bring out the best in my young protege. Which I did. Ben got his masters in history with flying colors, literally top of the class. Nobody was more proud than me. 

I  gestured to the chair opposite. Ben sat, laughing at being called Mrs Slocombe after so long.

There was silence for a few moments, Ben was the first to speak.

“ It’s so good to catch up with you after, what? 3 years or so, how have you been”?

“Ok I suppose. Tell me did my nickname for you actually work? I could never be quite sure if I was able to bring you down a peg”.

“I’ve never forgotten that nickname, in a way I thrived on it, I always thought you didn’t respect me, I was determined to prove you wrong, that I wasn’t Mrs Slocombe but Ben Slocombe, a student you could be proud of, so I guess no you didn’t bring me down a peg that nickname made me stronger”.

“Good, that was what I had hoped. I recollect that you were always super confident,and very intelligent. I was determined that you wouldn’t fail, that you didn’t get too big for your boots, that you succeeded. Nobody was more pleased when you got your masters than I was. It shows how good you were, that after 3 or so years and all the students I've tutored before and since then, that, with a brief reminder, you come so readily to mind”.

“I’m glad you have remembered me, I was afraid you had completely forgotten me”.

“How could I forget you? You were intelligent, confident and if I may say, handsome as well, you always stood out to me, that’s why I pushed you, because I knew you could do it. though I never tell that to any of my students, it’s my job to bring out the best in my students”.

“You certainly did that prof. It wasn’t till after I left Manchester, I realized how brilliant you are. You became something of a mentor to me. I realized that was what I wanted to do. I wanted to teach. So I went to Birmingham to do my teacher training. Where I got my teaching degree. Then after that I did my teaching masters online from home while I worked in a shop. Then last September I got my teaching job at the co,op Academy”.

“ So you teach History I suppose, do you enjoy it”?

“ Yes I guess I do, the kids are fun to be with, always keeping me on my toes, I try to make my lessons as interesting as possible, make history stand out. It’s not easy, but I try my best. Again I have you to thank for that, your lectures were never dull. With your put downs and sly quips, and wearing army helmets, reenacting fights and battles and stuff like that, bringing your lectures and history in general to life, your lectures stood out for me”.

I sat and listened to the young man seated in front of me. And was grateful for the compliments. The young man was so full of life and energy . Momentarily I wished I had as much energy as him, chatting to him was so easy, his confidence seemed to ooze out of him and affect those around him, he was that sort of person I surmised, but there was something in that sentence that didn’t quite compute properly, I  recalled. Yes I guess I do. He should be happier than that, after all, he's only been at the job a few months. I decided to push that, yes I guess I do.

“ You guess you do, you've only been at the job a few months, what are you holding back”?

“ You guessed right, prof, there is something wrong. Oh don’t get me wrong I love the job, the school, the kids, well most of them but you know what teenagers are like, always hitting on me, always flirting. I can’t stand it. I tell them I’m not interested, I’ve ignored them, I told them that I prefer the company of men. What they are doing, it’s wrong and dangerous for me, but  they don’t listen. What can I do prof”? 

“ 1st never bring your own sexuality into your teaching. 2nd, every teacher, well nearly every teacher, will have the same problem, the women more so. Teen boys are far worse than teen girls. The boys, full of testosterone, full of youthful vigor, see a hot young female teacher, the ultimate fantasy, if you like, and hit on them. Ask your fellow teachers how they cope”.

“Wise words from a wise man, but I always felt that I couldn’t do that. I’d be too embarrassed”.

“ You,embarrassed! Never, I don’t believe that for a second. Look, there must be a teacher there who is more of a friend than the others, take that person into your confidence, that person will give you the advice you need, trust me”.

“I guess so. Have you had any trouble with students in that regard”?

“ No, not really. The only time it happened was when a student was frightened that he was going to fail. Although I don’t flaunt my sexuality on campus, I’ve never kept my sexuality a secret. So when this young man hit on me. I told him that if he was sinking to that level, then he didn’t deserve to pass. I also told him that life is nothing like a porn film. So I told him to get out of my sight”. 

Ben clapped his hands laughing, “well said prof, did he fail”?

“ No he knuckled down and scraped home, he came up to me on graduation day and thanked me. For being honest with him and apologized”.

“ Great stuff, your glass is empty, let me buy you a pint”.

“ No it’s alright”.

“ No prof. I insist, what’s your poison"?

“ Oh if you insist. Corona please.”

“ But I do insist”. Said Ben giving me a wink.

Ben stood and walked to the bar. I  watched him walk through the busy bar, transfixed by the young man’s confidence, the way he walked through the crowd, straight to the bar, yet was puzzled by his embarrassment at being hit on by his female pupils, and being unable to deal with it. But I decided to let the matter drop. 

2 young men walked into the bar, laughing, obviously the worst for drink and full of the Christmas spirit, I recognised them immediately. “oh fuck, no”. I muttered. 

They went to the bar, ordered drinks and went to sit, finding nowhere in the busy crowded bar, they looked around them, and saw me.

“PROF”. One of them shouted. He was a skinny lad in his first year at Manchester, with light brown eyes and shaggy brown hair. The other one was a thicker set lad, With dark hair, eyes and glasses, and in the same year as the first. Both studying history. 

Suddenly the room was too noisy, the Christmas music that when in the company of Ben,I  had  been able to ignore, attacked my senses, there were too many people around, I went red and started to perspire. The two drunk students approached. 

‘Where are you Ben?’ I  thought to myself. If the 2 students were expecting a happy and confident professor, then they were going to be disappointed.

“How’s it hanging prof? The thick set one slurred. Swaying.  

“ Oh…..erm…….. I…… I…….”. 

I  was mortified. I hate it when this happens. Most times I could avoid being noticed. The students were happy to be drinking amongst other students. But at Christmas, when most students had gone home, the few remaining were harder to hide from. I  just sat there, mute and red faced.

“What’s up prof, cat got your tongue? The skinny one asked. 

“ well…. I…..” I  managed to stammer. 

Out of sight, Ben watched as the 2 young men talked to the professor. It looked to Ben as he didn’t want to speak to them. He couldn’t hear what was being said but his  mannerisms told Ben that he needed help. 

‘ This is my chance to be the knight in shining armor. Ben to the rescue’. He thought to himself and smiled. Then walked back over to the professor. 

“Excuse me guys I was sitting here, mind if I squeeze through”? Said Ben squeezing through the small gap in between the 2 drunk students. 

“ We were talking to the prof, mate”.

“ So was I”. Ben said and sat with his back to the 2 drunk students. 

The bouncer  dressed in black appeared behind the 2 drunk students. A hand suddenly rested on each of their shoulders. 

“ Now guys why don’t you leave these 2 to their little conversation eh. Now go over there and leave these 2 alone before I throw you out”. 

“ We don’t want no trouble mate, we were just chatting to the prof”.

“ well the prof and his companion want to be left alone, don't you guys”?

“ Yes please," replied Ben. With the intervention of the bouncer and Ben, I  calmed down, and decided to speak.

“ Merry Christmas gentlemen. See you in the new year. Sober, I hope. Now leave me and Ben alone.”

“ Merry Christmas prof”. With that the 2 staggered away.

The Bouncer asked if we were ok, we both replied in the affirmative, so the bouncer walked back to the door.

 

I  was shaking, but breathed a sigh of relief. Ben watched as I  lifted my pint, only to put it down again, in case I spilled it. 

“ You ok Prof?, you seem nervous”.

“ Sorry. I’m not very good at social interaction. I get nervous and lose the ability to communicate.”

“ Really, I’d never have guessed. You were always so confident in the lecture Hall.”

“ There’s quite a bit you don't know about me son”.

I was mesmerized as Ben took a long pull from his bottle of beer. I watched as Ben’s  Adam’s apple moved up and down as the beer flowed down his throat. 

Finally, Ben put down his bottle, “ like what? Talk to me prof. You seem able to talk to me. What is the difference with others, like those 2 just now.”

“ Oh I don’t know, being able to talk to you seems so easy, your confidence seems to put me at ease, although other people's confidence usually scares me off. How can I talk to you? I don’t know. It’s as simple as that”

“ Maybe you fancy me”. Said Ben with a large grin on his face. Ben moved his hand under the table, and touched my knee.

 “ It's ok you know, to fancy people, age doesn’t matter, it’s what’s in your heart and head that counts, take me for instance, I hate one night stands, I’d love to settle down, I mean just a couple of months ago I was walking to another bar to meet a date. I recognised you straight away, so I smiled at you. But my date never turned up, I thought, I know I will buy the prof a pint and have a catch up. When I got back to this place you’d gone, I missed you by minutes. I’ve been busy ever since and haven’t been able to come and see if you were here, and now tonight, well here I am. It’s really good to see you prof, I mean that”.

“ Likewise Ben, it’s good to see a former student who’s doing well, I’m proud of you, you know”. 

“ Just admit it prof, you do fancy me, you find it easy to talk to me, when you find it difficult with others. Just a few minutes ago you called me handsome, by the way, I’m so grateful that someone of your caliber said I’m handsome and that you're proud of me, it means a lot to me. And don’t forget  that you're a very distinguished looking man, you're intelligent, popular among your contemporaries and students. You’d be quite a catch you know, and to top it all off you're a published author.”.

“ I’m not that good looking. Look at me, I’m going gray, I’m fat, I wear glasses, my dress sense is awful and I feel socially insecure. And yes ok, I admit I find you captivating, you are confident, handsome, you’ve a great body. In other words you’re everything I’m not”.

“ Don't put yourself down like that. So you're different from others. Some people like the quiet ones, I prefer intelligence over a great body every time. So what if you're shy and retiring. You’d make a great catch for someone, you know”. 

“ How’d you work that one out”?

“ You wouldn’t cheat for one thing. You're smart and able to hold your own in any conversation, if you wanted to, the way you dress means you're not afraid to stand out, not afraid to be different. In other words you're an awesome guy prof”.

“ I’m glad you think so. Look I’m not a confident man, I much prefer my own company. I guess I’m a loner. Ok occasionally I feel lonely. Much more so lately”.

“ Why’s that?” 

My phone pinged as a text came through, before I could answer.

“ Excuse me”. I said, in politeness. 

I  looked at my phone. 

Mandy. Merry Christmas grump. I haven’t sent you a card. I'm still angry about that meeting. Btw Max from London  is somehow still interested in the Earl of Preston books. He’s improved his offer. Will ring you in the new year. 

“ Who was that”? Inquired Ben, “sorry if I’m being nosey”.

“ No it’s ok. That was the wicked witch of Manchester. Better known as Mandy, my literary agent.”

“ Wow you have a literary agent”.? That’s so cool. What’s she want anyway? Wishing you Merry Christmas, I guess.”

“ In a way, yes, we had a meeting with a London publisher at 20 stories a couple of months back. He’s very interested in a manuscript I’ve been working on. Titled, The Earl of Preston investigates. Based during the English civil wars, he offered me a contract for another 7 books over 7 years, £150,000 up front with 10% royalties while they are in print”.

Ben whistled through his teeth. “ wow that’s a lot of money, did you accept”?

“No, I turned him down. I told him I didn’t have the time, he had no concept of the amount of time it takes to research novels like this”.

“ Wow I bet she wasn’t happy”. 

“ No, and it gets worse. When Mandy went to the toilet.Max, that was the guy's name. .Invited me to his hotel room”.

 Ben clapped the side of his face.“ O.M.G.Did you go”?

“ Young man, what do you take me for? Of course I didn’t go, I told him to fuck off, that was when Mandy came back to the table. All she heard was me tell Max to fuck off, she thought I was talking about the book deal. When I was talking about something sexual. She hasn’t forgiven me. Anyway it turns out Max is still interested and has improved his offer”.

“ You could be a famous writer, do a deal. I could help with the research. I wouldn’t mind honestly”. 

“ You’d help with the research, why”?

“ Because like you I’m a historian, it would make a change from teaching kids. We could tour Preston looking for possible sites for your book, looking at the archives and things on the weekend, or if you're busy I’d go on my own and report back to you”.

“ I don’t know, it’s an interesting offer, I’d like to think about it. Mandy said she would get back to me in the new year. I will keep you posted, we should swap mobile numbers”.

We did exactly that. The conversation died for a few seconds. Then Ben said, 

 “promise me prof that you will consider me as a researcher, if not for your next book then for any project you need help with”.

“ I will, I promise, if nothing else it would be good to have a friend. To chat with and work with I get tired of being alone, don’t get me wrong I prefer my own company but sometimes I get lonely.” I meant it as well.

“ I’m here for you whenever you need me, whether it’s research, to laugh, cry, eat or drink, you won’t be lonely. I will let you into a secret. Outside of school I have no friends, I get lonely, work keeps me busy, I help in the after school clubs, but it’s not enough, I’d love to have you as a friend, if you would have me”. 

He put his hand on top of mine, I swallowed hard, I’m not being melodramatic but I felt my answer could change my life. I had to consider my reply before I answered. I took a long swallow of my pint. But I didn’t remove my hand from his. 

‘Fuck it’. I thought I was tired of running and hiding from people, in for a penny in for a pound. What was the worst thing that could happen? 

“ Yes I answered, I’d love that, this may seem daft but I haven’t had a close friend since uni. I’d love to have you as a friend. To seal the deal let’s go back to my apartment. I have a lovely single malt with our names on it”.

Suddenly I felt nervous, I was letting a young man into my inner sanctum, into the very place where I hid from the world. Was I doing the right thing? Deep down I felt I was, this beautiful young man wanted me, no, needed me as his friend. And I needed him. And I damn well wouldn’t let him down,  and I felt that Ben wouldn’t let me down, not like the last time a close friend needed me. 

“ You really mean that”? His smile lit up his face,it was dazzling, his beautiful large brown eyes were bright with excitement. “I’d love that, oh Thank You so,so much”. He said standing. Let’s go, he said, draining his bottle. 

I downed my pint, stood up. Put on my coat and woollen hat. And headed for the door with Ben, this beautiful young man tagging along behind me.

 Outside I stopped and looking at him said.“You can come into my apartment on one condition”

Ben looked at me and a frown appeared on his face.

“Oh, what’s the one condition?" He asked, suddenly looking sad.

“That you take off the silly hat”. I walked away laughing. A sound that I couldn’t remember the last time I’d heard it. 

“Hey wait for me”.

 He quickly caught me up, put his arm into mine and unlike last time when we had missed each other by mere minutes. We walked arm in arm together back to my apartment. 

Finally we arrived at my front door.“Well here we are”, I said to Ben who was standing next to me. 

“My inner sanctum, my hiding place from the world, it isn’t much but it’s mine and I love the place”.

I unlocked the front door. “After you”. Ben led the way into my apartment. I switched the light on. The chill hit us immediately.

“Sorry I switched the heating off before I went out. I will turn it back on”.

Ben followed me into the living area. 

“Nice place prof, cool floor, it’s so retro. Parkade isn’t it”? He asked as I switched the heating back on.

“Yes it cost a good few bob but it was worth it, I like it. Take a seat I will fix us that drink”.

I fixed us the drinks, “ here you go Ben try this, it’s called highland park, it’s a Single malt from the Orkneys”.

I handed him a crystal tumbler with a single cube of ice with the whiskey, and the same for me.

I sat next to Ben on the sofa. We clinked glasses. 

“Cheers and Merry Christmas”.said Ben. 

“Cheers, here’s to friendship” I replied.

We sipped the whiskey, it burned our throats as it went down, the ice making a chinking sound as it touched the edges of the glass. 

“Ahh nice prof thankyou, so tell me prof were you spending Christmas?

With my sister Rachel and her husband Dave, I go every year. Before that we all gathered at my mum and dads house. Do you see that picture behind you”?

Ben turned round to look at the picture, I noticed his smile had disappeared and for some reason was looking solemn.

“Which one?”

“ The overhead one of the farm”.

“Oh yes I see it," he said with an edge to his voice.

“Well that’s the farm where me and my sisters grew up, that’s where we used to gather for Christmas. Every year we would all help with the preparations, you know, cooking, and such”.

“Did you enjoy it”?

“No not really, mum didn’t like Christmas, It was always a bit of a tense time, so I’m not fond of Christmas either”.

“Ah that explains the lack of festive cheer around here”.

 I put my glass down.“There’s something wrong Ben, you’ve gone all tense, what’s wrong tell me, what's up”?

 Ben copied me by putting his glass down. “Oh nothing, it’s just that my parents are away in Lanzarote for Christmas, and I’m on my own, and I was hoping that we could, er well you know. Well I was hoping we could spend the day together at my place, I have a small turkey joint, I was thinking that we could combine forces and spend the day together”.

The last part  came out in an embarrassed rush, I didn’t quite know what to say, I knew what I wanted to say but dare I say it. The silence was palpable, you could slice the atmosphere with a knife. For the second time tonight I decided to throw caution to the wind. 

“Well there is an answer, all it would take is one phone call to my sister to sort it out”.

“Do you mean”?

“Yes, why don’t you accompany me to stay with my sister and brother-in-law for Christmas? We will spend Boxing Day with my other sister and come back on the 27th. Let me make the phone call”.

“ I don’t want to impose, I mean I don’t have any gifts or anything”.

“You won’t be imposing, and I’m positive that the motorway services are open so you can buy a bottle of wine on the way up”.

“You really want me to go, I mean it’s lovely to invite me, will your sister mind you inviting me at such short notice”?

I’d love you to come. I have never invited anyone else before, Rach won’t mind. I will ring her”.

Before Ben could reply I got out my phone and rang Rachel’s mobile number. She answered on the 4th ring

“Hello brother of mine, Merry Christmas”.

“Hi Rach, humbug to you too”.

Laughter on the other end.

“To what do I owe the pleasure”?

“Well I have a huge favor to ask you. Can I fetch a guest with me for the Christmas break? I know it’s a lot to ask. But his parents are away and he’s on his own, and I’m wondering if he can come with me”?

“Well it is short notice. Hang on a sec while I speak to hubby”.

Silence for a couple of minutes. I looked at Ben who was looking slightly nervous. I crossed my fingers at him. Ben crossed his as well. 

“Hi brother. Dave has no problem with it. Neither do I. It will be a double bed though, I hope you don’t mind”.

“ Double bed Ben. Do you mind?”

“No problem for me”.

I was nervous about it. But I decided to cross that bridge when I came to it. 

“Hi Rach. That’s no problem. See you at noon or thereabouts. And by the way Thankyou and Merry Christmas, hang on, Ben wants to chat. I will put him on”.

Ben had been gesticulating to me, so I handed him the phone. 

“Hello Rachel? It’s Ben Slocombe, Thankyou for letting me come for Christmas”.

“Merry Christmas Ben it will be good to have you it will be a pleasure. It’s no problem. Andrew has never brought anyone with him before, it will be a nice change. See you both tomorrow bye”.

“Merry Christmas Rachel, see you tomorrow. I can’t wait. Merry Christmas. Bye”.

The phone went dead as Rachel rang off. 

“Let’s have another drink Ben”.

After a couple of more drinks we were both feeling pretty buzzed. The night had moved along in a whirlwind of chat, and Christmas songs playing quietly on my echo.I looked at the time on my phone and realized it was getting late. 

“Have you seen the time Ben”? I asked suddenly, in some urgency.

“ Why what time is it”?

“11.30, where do you live”?

“Tib house I rent a 1 bed apartment. I will call a taxi”.

I realized that I didn’t want Ben to leave, it was late and I’d enjoyed his company. I was so used to being alone that I hadn’t realized that I could have a good time in company. 

“ You don’t have to go, you know. You could always stay here, I can make up the sofa bed”.

“You don’t need to go to any trouble. I can get a taxi”.

“ A taxi will take ages, besides , I don't want you to go. I had a good time tonight. It’s been fun. I can make up the sofa bed in a couple of minutes”.

“ Look, you've been awesome tonight. I had a great time. And I’m going to have a great time over the next couple of days thanks to you and your family. But I need to get ready for tomorrow”.

“ We can drop by your apartment in the morning. It will only take a couple of ticks to sort out a bag for the next couple of days, it would make more sense to stay overnight”.

“Ok I’m persuaded. But don’t go to the trouble of making up the sofa bed. We could, you know, share…”

To say I was shocked was an understatement, I sat down and downed the last of my whiskey, to give myself thinking time, when I asked Ben to stay. I meant in my office room on the sofa bed. I shouldn’t have been at all surprised though. I had asked Ben to sleep over, what was he going to think? It was natural that I thought I was asking him to have sex with me. I took off my glasses and rubbed my eyes, I swore under my breath. 

Ben sat down next to me. “ Prof, what’s the matter? Is it something I said”?

“ I said earlier that there is a lot you don’t know about me. Well it’s like this. I erm. Well, I mean, oh fuck it. Look I haven’t had sex with anyone since my uni days, I’ve never been any good at, erm personal relationships. The whole idea of sex makes me cringe in embarrassment. I’m sorry I’ve made a mess of things haven’t I. When I asked you to stay I never meant to have sex. The thought never crossed my mind”.

“ Is that all? I thought you were going to say you are a virgin. Look at me Prof”.

I turned my head to look at him, tears were starting to well up in my eyes. I felt that I had let this beautiful young man down with my natural evasion to sex. He put his hand on my cheek and rubbed away a tear with his thumb. With my voice breaking with emotion. And looking into each other's eyes I said.

“ I can’t do it, you're a handsome young man, no you’re a  beautiful young man. I’m so sorry, if you want to go, I understand, when it comes to personal relationships I’m a failure”. I broke down and sobbed. 

“ Hey, hey, come on now I've far more respect for you than that, I’m not going to leave you now. Look, I'm not going anywhere. I think you need me. You're lonely, so am I. Sex happens naturally. It will happen naturally. With or without me”.

I wasn’t convinced. I just wanted a friend. Anything else would complicate matters, I told him that. His reply was.

“ Do you want me to stay”?

“Yes”.

Do you want us to have sex”?

I looked him square in the eye. “ no”.

He held out his arms, we hugged on the sofa. 

“ we don’t need to have sex Prof, we can sleep in the same bed and not have sex you know, we’re adults here not teenagers, we get into bed together, you turn one way I turn the other way so were back to back, bingo time to sleep, I thought you were the Prof here not me”.

We parted, “ I’m sorry, I’m no good at this thing”. You don’t mind us not having sex then”?

“ No, but I apologize in advance if I get excited during the night. Oh and one more thing”.

“Yes I said sniffing and rubbing my eyes”.

“ Do you have a spare toothbrush I can borrow”?

“ You can borrow mine,Just clean it well before and after use”. I said, smiling weakly.

“ Great cheers Prof”. Ben stood up and drained his glass. He then offered his hand and helped me up.  “Come on Prof let’s tidy up”. He collected up the glasses and took them into the kitchen, then put them in the sink. I washed them and Ben dried them, I finally put them back where they belonged. 

I turned off the heating and put out the lights. Ben followed me into my bedroom, nobody had ever slept in here with me. I was nervous, I think Ben was as well. 

I went into the ensuite. Took off the jumper and shirt I’d been wearing, used the toilet, had a quick wash and brushed my teeth. I looked at myself in the mirror.

 “ Well old boy here goes nothing”, I muttered quietly to myself.

 My nerves, with or without the drink were feeling frayed, I was nervous. I wasn’t used to company. The only time I’d had company was when one of my sisters stayed for a short time during the summer. That was when I wasn’t touring the battlefields of the 1st and 2nd world wars.

I swallowed and saw my hand reach for the door knob, it opened and I pushed open the door, scared of what I might come across on the other side. I carried my clothes with me, I glanced around, I didn’t see Ben at first, I wondered for a moment if I had dreamed it all but then I saw him seated on the bed,  he was facing away from me, I presumed looking at his phone on some social media app. I saw his naked back, his muscles, his perfect unblemished skin. I was overawed that this young man, this beautiful young man who was going to share my bed. 

He turned his head. “ Oh hi Prof, I didn’t hear you for a moment. Just catching up on Christmas wishes on Facebook and instagram”.

 He stood up and turned and for the first time I saw him without his shirt and jumper. His body was incredible, his pectorals were round with pink nipples and a noticeable cleft and that tapered out to his lightly defined abs, and covering his body a very light covering of light brown body hair, that was almost gossamer thin. He wasn’t overly muscled but athletic and obviously took great care of himself.

I swallowed. “ bathrooms free”. I said, feeling embarrassed. 

“You don’t say? Seriously though Prof thanks for putting me up. He said that whilst walking towards me, slowly walking round the bed, wearing only his snug fitting jeans, my eyes followed him and his perfect torso as he walked towards me, he stopped in front of me, so close I could feel his breath, he smiled. Looking directly at me, said.

“Excuse me, I need the bathroom”. I stepped aside.

he whispered. “Thankyou”. And walked into the bathroom. 

I was shaking, I breathed out, not realizing I had been holding my breath. “ right, act now”. I  muttered, l opened the wardrobe door and dumped my clothes into the washing basket. Next came my shoes and trousers and finally my smalls, again all dumped into the washing basket. I closed the wardrobe door with a thump. A few seconds later I was in bed with the duvet up round my chin, breathing hard and feeling even more nervous than ever, 

The bathroom door opened, Ben switched the ensuite light off and he closed the door behind him. And walked slowly round the bed, naked, carrying his clothes folded neatly in front of him, he wasn’t afraid of showing himself off. His legs were like the rest of him athletic, not too thick but not thin either and just the right amount of hair on them. As he walked past. I took notice of his bottom, that up till now had been covered in snug denim, it was pert, peachy and white with no hair at all.

I sat up as he walked around the bed.” Beautiful”. I said quietly. He placed his clothes on the floor in a neat pile, and finally climbed into bed, he as promised stayed on his side, not coming anywhere near me.

“Goodnight prof”. 

“Goodnight Ben”. 

We switched off our lamps and the room was covered in darkness, except for a tiny amount of light that filtered through the window blinds. I couldn’t sleep, I was too wound up, a beautiful young man was in my bed with his back turned towards me. I closed my eyes and willed myself to sleep, all to no avail. I turned on to my side so my back was away from him, I guess I must have dozed off because the next thing I knew, I could feel him close to me, so close in fact he was touching me, I felt him brushing against me, his arm around me feeling me were he shouldn’t be. I held my breath, I couldn’t believe what I was feeling.

“ What the fuck do you think your doing Ben”? I whispered.

“ What does it feel like I’m doing Prof? It's no good, you're more than a mentor, you're my hero, I can’t sleep, I’m too wound up. Can you feel me? That’s you. You’re doing that to me, I need you. I need you inside me. I want you on your back. I want to ride you Prof”. He rubbed against me, he felt me harden in his hand. I moaned. 

“Please Ben no. Please, I can’t,”. My mind was in Turmoil. Did I want him? He wanted me. Was this really happening?

“ Yes you can Prof, feel that? Admit it you love it, turn onto your back, I will do all the work. I want you, I need you. Do it for me, please”.

I didn’t reply, did I want to do it? yes. But could I do it? Ben kept on working on my excitement. Finally after what seemed like hours of thought, but more probably mere moments I felt myself move onto my back. And for the 3rd time that night I threw caution to the wind. 

Ben moved over to me. He caressed my cheek and kissed me. His tongue invaded me. I fought back in a battle of tongues, our passion finding each other. He,as I might have guessed, was a great kisser. 

He moved again this time to get on top of me, we said nothing as he led on top, we renewed our kissing. We cupped each other's cheeks, our passion mounting. Excitement grew, finally our now swollen lips parted, in the darkness I could see his beautiful outline, he lifted himself up, and he spoke.

“ I’m already lubed Prof, I took the liberty when I was in your ensuite. Will you let me continue”?

All this was said while he rubbed my manhood. Keeping me excited.

“ Yes please Ben, do it”. I had never been so aroused as I was at that moment. 

I felt him lift himself up, he reached behind. I heard him gasp as he found entry. I moaned at the feeling, he slid down onto me and rested. Our hands clasped each other. He found his purchase and slowly started to move.

The dance started, we moved like ballet dancers engrossed in a dance of mutual love. Slowly our passion built like a slow burning fire, small at first, with small embers of fire, that build and build, then slowly, ever so slowly, it gets hotter and hotter, so hot you can’t touch it. 

Ours was a dance that was building in passion, Ben slowed but never stopped, his body seemed to be glowing in the dark with perspiration. He speeded up again, head thrown back in passion. His outline inspired  me. I groaned, our hands clasped together, we were joined as one, our love making finding new heights of passion, 

We moved as one, we moaned and groaned as one, our passion was as one. We were one being. I had never felt so elated, never felt so alive. I hoped Ben felt the same. If this was what love was then I wanted more. I wanted more and more. I wanted to be greedy and have it all. Our passion grew to new heights. 

Our passion, our love making, our joining together reached a crescendo, of mutual shouts and groans. We exploded together as one. Our love sated. We kissed passionately.

Ben climbed off me and snuggled into me. I found myself crying. 

“ That was the most incredible thing that has ever happened to me Ben, it was wonderful thankyou”. I said my voice, full of emotion.

Ben kissed away my tears..

“ It may seem like a cliche Prof, but that was the best ever.”

His words made me cry again. This time the floodgates opened and tears rained down. I was so full of emotion. So much had happened tonight I was overwhelmed, I couldn’t stop crying tears of overwhelming joy. And through it all Ben said nothing, he just held me in his arms. 

The room was dark. The streetlight that filtered through the window blinds was the only light in the room. I slid out of bed, and sat on the edge, head in my hands. Ben stirred. He was on the other side of the bed. A naked form lying on his stomach face on a slight angle towards me.his perfect form, strong back. His pert, perfect arse, made the most beautiful little mound in the bed next to me. He awakened,moved, turned and knelt on the bed behind me, yawned and stretched. 

“What time is it”? He asked sleepily.

“ 5.30 am” I replied. “I couldn’t sleep”. 

“Come back to bed prof”,said Ben as he wrapped his arms around my shoulders and rested his head on my shoulder. I  clasped Ben's hands, afraid this beautiful young man might disappear. 

“Look I’m sorry for last night” I began. Ben shushed me with a peck on the cheek. 

“Don't apologize Prof. I’m not sorry, and you shouldn’t be either. Now come back to bed and play the big spoon to my little spoon. Oh and by the way, I will say it again, I’m so looking forward to meeting the rest of your family Later, thanks again for the invite”.

“So am I. This Christmas will be a good one”. I said, my voice, full of emotion.

 I realized that the room felt colder than it should have been. I got out of bed and padded over to the window and opened the blind unaware of my nakedness. The room was suddenly filled with the dim street light. Ben joined me and slid his arm around my waist and rested his head on my shoulder. Outside snow was starting to fall. 

“Merry Christmas Professor”, Ben said, turning and kissing me.

End. 

---

Author’s note.

I realize that this story would be better with a 2nd chapter regarding what happens on Christmas and Boxing Day. Unfortunately due to work pressure I’ve simply run out of time. For that I apologize. The Professor and Ben will be back in another story. 

I would like at this time to thank Sam Stefenik, for his support and advice, Sam you're a rock of support I couldn’t do without. I’d also like to thank my sister Ruth for Proofreading. Another pair of eyes is a wonderful thing. Merry Christmas everyone.

R A Ronson.