At some point you figure out how you ended up here. For me, it came this morning. I was leaving a friend's house after a night of roleplay, fantasy, and fucking. I realized I'd turned out to be a submissive bitch for other men's pleasure. Now I don't really get to play out my own desires. I give in to theirs, and hope for the best.
Jim likes to roleplay kidnapping and rape scenes. He waits in the bedroom as I come in and begin to undress, as if it is my home, and my bedroom. Sometimes I'm just in my regular clothes. But often he has an outfit in mind for me instead. Yesterdays was a nurse sort of thing. Yes, he likes me dressed like a woman often. But that doesn't change the rough, nasty gay sex he has with me. He always wears a mask or a leather hood to hide his face. I've never seen him. Just the numerous scary Halloween masks and BDSM hoods he keeps carefully locked away. Sometimes he puts a leather hood over my head, gagging and blindfolding me. But he prefers to watch me squirm and cry as he forces his cock down my throat, or while he is ramming it up my sore, slippery little ass hole.
So, as the nurse I wore all white lingerie, a short white skirt and a white jacket. He waited until I was half dressed. The jacket set aside and my vintage style lingerie out in plain sight. A tight C cup lace corset, a high-rise rubbery Playtex girdle with garters and white seam back thigh highs. I'm not really all that lady like, but in the outfit, I looked doable. Or at least Jim thinks so.
He starts with a big soft red rubber ball for my mouth. He usually gags me first, as you might if this was a real situation. I try to scream and struggle against his advance. He is a big, tall, fat hairy dude. I can't resist much. He stuffs the ball in my mouth and quickly and expertly straps it in. Then once my hands are bound in some way, this time he used a roll of extra wide black rubber tape wrapped around my wrists and all the way up my arms past my elbows, he forces me to the ground and starts kissing and molesting me. He leaves most of the costume on as he works me over. he says he likes the stuff I wear for him and he likes to enjoy it on me. The rape goes on in various ways, different each time. He says he thinks of me and how he wants to do me for weeks in advance. Planning every move. I come by about once a month. Once the binding and spank marks have disappeared. Ready to start again.
Back to how I got here. I can only guess. I didn't have any experiences early on. Nothing like this of course. A few things do stand out in my memory though. Memories that don't seem to fade.
My two older sisters would tie me up now and then, when I was annoying them. I did this quite often. Now and then they would have enough and drag me to the floor using their old tights or bras to bind me. I'd usually be hog tied with some sort of a rag or a towel stuffed in my mouth until mom would come in and rescue me. Very, very embarrassing. The last time I can remember I was tied on their bed. A load of dirty laundry had been tossed on it under me as they were looking for appropriate binding and gagging articles. I realized a few pairs of their worn underwear were in my mouth, tied in tight with a training bra. But as an added disgrace, my shirt had been removed, and a cute little pink lace bralette replaced it. They pulled another pair of panties over my shorts and put some knee-high socks on my legs before tying them up to my hands. Again, I'm tightly hog tied with old nylon pantyhose, outgrown bras, and helpless. The worst part was mom wasn't home and wouldn't be for hours. The girls said they would release me after a while, but I didn't believe them.
Looking around I noticed all their pink and soft blue panties and bras. The worn undies smelled of cheap perfume and sweat. The ones in my mouth were getting soaking wet and tasted even more sweaty and perfume stinky. One of them had pulled a pair of worn lace panties over my head covering my face completely. The stained cotton crotch panel was covering my nose. But the strangest thing was I was hard.
We had a neighbor who was about my age but seemed much older. We hung out a lot on summer break. He was bigger and stronger than me, showing off his muscles often. Although nothing happened with him, I had a friend warn me that he might have a kink or two and I might stay clear. I didn't know what that was about. But later on, I realized what he may have been talking about. I often think about how I would have reacted if he tried to kiss me or do anything else. I didn't have a girlfriend until I was almost out of high school. Sometimes he would drift into my fantasies. Holding me down and molesting me. Covering my mouth so I couldn't ask him to stop. I dreamed of his strong hands on me. I would think of this often when I would jerk off.
Bound gagged and helpless. At some strong man's mercy. Doing the sort of things no one talks about.
Sucking another man cock. Being his bitch. Wearing panties and a bra if he asked me to.
It seemed crazy at the time. Then I got messaged by a guy in a chat room. Yes, a gay sort of chatroom. I'd posted myself as a submissive in my profile. My interests included being tied up, gagged, giving head, even though I'd never done any of those things, etc. He lives just around the corner. My profile had my location somehow. He sent me a picture of himself, naked. Big, middle aged and hairy. The kind of guy I posted i might be interested in. And a dick pic. It's pretty big. That made me nervous. I told him so. He played the part and ordered me to put on some panties and drive over, now. I played my part too. Well, not really playing. I was really nervous. I told him so. He assured me nothing bad would happen. Just the things I said I liked. I went back through my profile to check on what exactly I'd said. I rummaged through some drawers and pulled on a red bra and lace panties I'd found.
He told me I have 10 minutes. And "Don't be late, bitch."
"I'm going to be nice since it's your first time." He roughly pulled me off the front porch and into the living room. He was hot and horny already. He was all over me. My clothes were ripped off as he led me through the house, down the hall into the back bedroom. There were leather straps, heavy leather hand and ankle cuffs and some nasty looking gags on the bed. He wouldn't stop grabbing and probing me. He was licking my face and shoving his tongue in my mouth. He wasted no time, throwing me on the bed and buckling cuffs and chains on me. Before I knew what happened he had me on my back, naked except for the red bra and panties, with my arms securely cuffed over my head to the headboard. A big pillow under my head keeping it up.
He finally spoke again. "I'm going to squeeze my cock right here." Pointing between my little A cup bra cups. "I'm going to tit fuck you in that cute little bra until I'm about to cum. I'll do the work at first. But when I put this in your mouth, you better suck really hard, then swallow everything. Got it?"
I couldn't move. It all happened so fast. I did realize I had a hard on in my pretty red panties.
I just shyly nodded.
"Good little bitch."
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