Me and my BIG Brother

When I think back to my childhood, I remember my family's lake house with fondness. That old structure holds so many beautiful memories. My brother and I spent summer after summer in the crystal clear waters, diving off the pier, riding jet skis, and lounging away the hot days. It was a terrific childhood, but the year I turned 18 stands out as the most significant year for me, my brother, and that old house.

I am getting ahead of myself. Let me give you a bit of history about the two brothers named Kyle and Kameron. We grew up in the 90s. That was when you still played outside until dark, and video games were great but not our lives. It was also a time when being an "out and proud" gay kid was not very popular, especially in the South. "Will and Grace" was popular but they hadn't changed the whole country yet.

Kyle and I were two years apart but always close and, unusually, the best of friends. He was the oldest, but we both had matching swimmer builds, greenish/blue eyes, and natural blond/brown hair growing up. Mine was a bit more naturally curly, and Kyles filled with waves. In our younger years, we were often mistaken as twins. The High School and teen years changed that and removed our similarities. Teenage years tend to separate the masses between the jocks, nerds, preps, and plain awkward. Kyle and I Felt that natural selection first hand.

Kyle was the typical straight-A Gorgeous Jock. Football quarterback, straight out of an 80s teen movie. He was the poster boy for that "type." His athletics and daily workouts guided him to a much larger build than mine. I went through a heavy stage in High School. I no longer had a swimmer's body, and my only 6 pack was Coca-Cola. I wasn't into sports but excelled in chorus and drama.

I was always a bit "fem" acting. I didn't set out to be that way, Its simply how I was (well, AM). I often got a lot of grief because of my natural mannerisms. And anytime Kyle knew about it, he was right there to set the bully's straight. Although we would never have been friends in the 80s teen movie script, we remained as close as any two friends could be.

When Kyle left for college, I was devastated. I felt like my world was gone. My days were no longer filled with the warm hearted big brother and the first year without him, I got very depressed. I stopped eating,, but that depression turned out to be a great weight loss plan. We stayed in touch for the first year. I coveted the holidays.

His second year, things changed. It was my senior year. It was the first year that I started to "come into my own," if you will. I got in shape, lost weight and gained a bit of much-needed independence. Kyle didn't come home much that year. He took courses in the medical field and devoted all his time to school. That was the first year we drifted apart. We slowly developed two separate lives.

My Senior year was coming to an end, and the summer was beginning. Being a bit older than the norm, our parents had both retired by the time I finished High School. Dad from establishing and selling a multi-million dollar insurance firm and mom from 30 plus years in pharmaceuticals. Their dream and plan was to travel.

The year was 1998.

EVERYTHING changed and I found out what BIG Brother really means.

June 5th 1998, I walked across the stage and accepted my High School diploma. (Kyle was too busy to make the event, but I had become used to his absence.)

June 6th, my parents hugged me, said goodbye, and pulled out of the driveway in a new 48 foot motor home. They were headed in a 3 month trip across the country.

June 7th, I threw my bags in the car, locked the house, and began the trip to our family's lakehouse. I had always told my parents that I wanted to spend the summer before college at the lakehouse. I reflected on the past year as I drove the two hours to the lake. It had been a great year, but I was still dealing with my sexuality. I hadn't told anyone, now I realize that everyone knew but me.

I'm a procrastinator, so it was dark by the time I left and got to the house. But I was on my own. No parents, no rules, and a whole summer to explore any other "possibly gay, but not really" guys who were at the lake that year? Maybe there was another guy like me looking for a summer romance?

I HAD NO IDEA WHAT WAS HEADED INTO MY LIFE..

I pulled up the drive and under the cart port. I walked up the stairs to the familiar front porch. Motion sensor lights came on every step of the way, illuminating the usual path I had run so many times as a child. I turned the key and pushed the old wooden door open. The wonderful musty smell took me directly back to the years with my family. I pictured the hundreds of times that Kyle and I raced to cross the threshold first. We hadn't been in a few years. I felt tears fall from my eyes as the nostalgia of the moment swept me away.

I went to the master bedroom and unpacked. The last time I was here was two summers ago when we had our Grans 50th anniversary dinner. My family would spend this same week at this house for years because my Birthday is June 8th. This year I would turn 18. However, I insisted on having a quiet celebration alone. That's what I had always planned.

Like some movie montage, I wanted to spend my 18th birthday alone at the lakehouse, preparing myself for the rest of my life. I had pictured some symbolic day of self-reflection where I would gain inner strength, and my future would fall into place because of my newfound independence. Drama, remember??

I soon fell asleep to the wonderful sounds and artic cold air produced by the huge old AC unit in the corner window. I dreamt of many things that night. One particular dream was of Kyle. I guess the old smells triggered memories. I slept as comfortably and securely as I always had within those walls.

The sun began to shine through mini blinds and it crept its way slowly towards my face. I revolted against its intrusion and shoved myself beneath the covers for the wonder slumber sleep.

I had just started to drift back into dreamland when I heard something from the kitchen side of the house. I Shook it off as some groceries I had brought fell. PLANK!! OK that's not groceries. My slumber was 100% now over as my fear became completely real. It has to be Jason from Friday the 13th. I'm at a lakehouse, alone. It was the lakeside stranger. He had come to kill his first gay victim like some kind of Dahmer copycat.

I slowly pulled myself to the edge of the bed. It was cold. The trusty AC had done its job and brought the room to a meat-hanging temp. CLACK!!! Yep, it's a killer, and he's not even trying to be discrete.

I waited until the AC compressor started again so the killer couldn't hear my steps. Maybe I could run out the front door. I was only wearing a pair of well-worn Calvin Klein boxer briefs, but the neighbors would just have to see the goods. This was life and death.

I stepped to the door and peeked through the space between the frame and the door. All I could see was a baseball cap and a large frame. He appeared to be going back out the back door. That led to the rear porch, where he was obviously getting an ax to kill me. I quickly opened the door halfway and bolted to the front door. DAMNIT!!

It was locked, and we had installed a Keylock deadbolt in years past to prevent someone from breaking the glass and opening the lock. It was planned for safety. This day it would be the thing that caused my demise.

  The rear door shut; he was coming back in. I ran back to the bedroom, heart beating through my chest. Oh OK help me, I thought as his footsteps started towards the bedroom. I didn't know what to do. I hid behind the door. He slowly walked into the bedroom, where I had left the door halfway open. It was dark In the room, only a few rays of light to help guide me in this situation.

He slowly came in and walked over to the bed. He seemed to be planning to start slashing me right there without waking me. I held my breath a d watched as he got closer and closer to the bed. I had to do something before he realized no one was there.

As any level-headed, in the closet, 165-pound gay, hopeful drama major would do…

I SCREAMED and ran out the bedroom to the back door, pushing the Intruder over the nightstand and onto the bed. I continued down—the back stairs, around the house, and towards the pier.

Yes, I ran to the pier. (I now have respect for people in horror movies. They are not thinking logically.) I ran onto the pier. Not to the street. Not to the neighbors. I ran to the dock. I guess I was planning to swim away from him?

I got to the end of the pier and looked back towards the house. The killer was standing on the porch. My contacts were not in, and my glasses were somewhere in the now toppled nightstand. I couldn't see any details, but I could see him on the front porch.

He started walking down the steps towards me.

PANIC!!!! He was deranged. HE was coming to kill me in broad daylight. He started yelling, My name. "Kameron!! Oh dear God in heaven, he knows my name. I Bet he hid under my car like the killer in "Cape Fear." He's been stalking me for years. Waiting for me to be alone. He's gonna make a coat out of my skin. "KAMERON, come on!! "he yelled as he walked closer.

Not today, Satan! I jumped off the pier and started swimming to the neighbor's dock. I was a pretty good swimmer and was halfway there when I turned around. At the end of our pier, I saw my killer holding his stomach laughing. I wiped my eyes and squinted. "Bro, Kameron, it's me, it's Kyle!!!"

WHAT??? KYLE??

I suddenly felt like a complete idiot. Our lake was not terribly deep and always crystal clear. I was wadding water then dropped my legs to realize I could stand. As the cool crept between my toes, the water level was to my shoulders. The cool water managed to help me gain my composure as the reality of all this came into my mind. I slowly started walking and treading water back towards our pier and my hysterical big brother.

"Oh My God, you almost tore the back door off." Ha ha ha Bahaaa!! He was rolling. My embarrassing actions now turned to anger. I climbed up the steps onto the pier and lunged at Kyle. "What the Hell BRO. What the fuck are you doing here? You scared the shit outta me." "damn you man," I shouted.

Still laughing, Kyle put his hands up to defend my shoves, "hey hey, I'm sorry, I was gonna surprise you for your birthday." "well, you managed that, asshole," I yelled and gave him one final shove as I stormed off towards the house.

"Kameron, hey bro, I'm sorry, don't be mad. I didn't mean to scare you." Kyle retorted as he started coming after me. In my most extraordinary dramatic performance to date, I marched back up onto the front porch and turned towards him. "I seriously could have had a heart attack. Did you even think about anything? Mr. Doctor?" Realizing how super silly I had just sounded, I turned and looked at him.

I hadn't seen Kyle in almost a year. If he had been studying, it must have been in a gym with tanning bulbs in the ceiling. He stood there in ripped jeans, brilliant white sneakers, a black tank top that clung to each muscle as if it were holding on for its very existence. A well-worn white shirt hung lazily over his perfect shape and a college cap with that perfectly curved bill.

I looked into bright green eyes and saw true regret as if his county fair balloon just got popped while getting into the car. I melted a bit but still held onto myself presumed sibling rivalry and smiled.

"But. I guess it was a little funny." I shot him a small smile and brief parole from his previous sentence. "He beamed those million-dollar teeth back at me and said, "damn right it was, you almost made me stab myself with the nightstand and lamp. Dufass…" He said as he ran up onto the porch to hug me.

His arms engulfed me and I melted into his touch, his friendship, and his general love for me. The connection was immediate. We both jostled one another and tossed each other's hair as we shared a heartfelt greeting.

He pushed me back and said, "lil bro, you look great. Damn, do I need to barricade the door to block all the high school hotties from getting in here? Mom and Dad said you'd lost weight but damn bro. You look incredible."

I blushed and literally soaked in the compliments like a dry sponge. I had changed. Braces were off, my chest was defined. I had an early tan which made my teeth even brighter than they actually were. I'd also let my curly hair grow a bit going me a surfer kid kind of look. I hadn't started to realize the changes until that moment. I think about that even today.

Kyles's next comment left me with a permanent blush and many questions. "I can't get over the change. Definitely, gonna have to board up the doors when they find out the two gorgeous Kirkland boys are in this house." Kyle continued as he made his way past me to the front door.

"bro, shut up. I'm still pissed at you, so I'm not buying the flattery and 'Kyle charm." I shot back. Then he looked down and said. "no flattery needed, lil bro. From the looks of what's slipping out of those wet shorts, it appears that you've grown a delicious, gorgeous charm wand of your own." He stated with a wink and walked into the house.

I looked down, and somewhere in all the struggles, my well-worn Calvin's had ripped.  One previous rip had now been torn much further, and a new rip at the "easy access" pouch had also ripped.  These two strategic tears had left the giant mushroom head of my cut cock, and the midsection of my hefty shaft exposed to the morning sun.  I quickly covered myself and went inside. Red as a beet!!

What did Kyle say?  Did I hear him right? Did he say delicious?  Talking about my dick was erotic and exciting enough, but I'm sure he didn't say delicious? No.  Right‽ I was filled with emotions I had never felt.  Something stirred within me. Something erotic yet taboo.  I questioned every word spoken on that porch.  Today I know what he said; I know what he meant.  But at that moment, I had no idea what that summer would hold.

Part 2

PART TWO…

Me and my BIG Brother pt 2

The morning had begun with fear and embarrassment. My mind was still reeling from the roller coaster of emotions I had just experienced.

I walked to the house towards the master bath. As I stepped into the room, I found the lamp on the floor, shade bent, light bulb broken. It had met its fate when I made my daring escape from my serial killer Big Brother. I straightened up the nightstand and lazily shoved the broken glass under the corner to deal with later. Typical me would have cleaned that up immediately. But at this moment, my mind was focused on much more. My head was spinning, and my heart was still beating with excitement. Had I just heard things right? Had my brother called my dick delicious? Was he staring at it, was he staring at me? No way. But he definitely said delicious. It must be some new college term that I was not hip to? Surely I’d misread that. Misread or not. My cock jumped with excitement at the thought of Kyle looking at me.

As I carefully moved the final piece of broken glass, I couldn’t help but chuckle with laughter. Thinking about my actions and picturing me running and jumping into the lake. That was funny; I had to admit. I was on one knee with my side to the door when Kyle stepped into the doorway.

He leaned in, placing his hands on either side of the doorway. They wrapped themselves around the doorframe, holding the weight of his body. His abrupt halt had caused beautiful natural blonde streaks to sway towards his cheekbones. They came to rest at the edge of his cheeks as if to cradle the sculpted perfection. His large physique filled the entrance as if he were perfectly chiseled out of a piece of flawless tanned ivory. I was suddenly looking at the cover of a romance novel as the daylight illuminated the room behind him. As he leaned in, his biceps flexed and stretched the paper-thin fabric of the white shirt that was clinging to his body.

Thankfully my cock was exposed on the opposite side of my body because it jumped again and started its ascent to the sky. The combination of morning, ripped calvins, and Kyle was simply too much for my 18-year hormones to handle.

“Oh Shit, did you break it?” He said.

“Hell no, you broke it.” I retorted with a peal of continuous laughter, careful to hide my growing member. He gave me a million-dollar smile, rolled his beautiful green eyes, and muttered, “whatever, Lil bro…” as he bounced to the kitchen.

I waited until I could clearly hear him in the kitchen, then I stood up and quickly stepped to the bathroom. Closing and locking the door, I took a deep breath.

I then took a brief moment to deal with something I hadn't given much thought to in a while. Kyle had been away for so long. I had not had to deal with these feelings in some time. It had been a year since I sat in my bedroom, hoping to catch a glimpse of Kyle getting out of the shower. Even longer since I had watched him play ball in the back yard or help dad around the house in running shorts. The guilt and combined shame of this hidden lust had not been an issue in some time. I had hoped and prayed it was a teenage phase, or hormonal puberty thing. The gay thoughts were dealt with but the taboo of this??? No, No, I couldnt go back to pining over Kyle again. But what the hell had just happened? Had my Bog Brother just flirted with me?

WHAT THE HELL???

I grabbed a towel and started to dry my wet hair. As I looked up and started on the other side, I caught a glimpse of myself in the full-length mirror. There stood a smaller version of Kyle. Some difference, but still Kyle. Kyle with ripped Calvins. Kyle tonned, tanned with freshly shaved heavy balls presenting a hefty semi-hard-on. I had jerked off to the mirror many times before. Picturing it was another guy. But I had not done so since my body had blossomed into my brother’s smaller framed double. I dropped the towel to the floor and guided my right hand to my dick. I grasped the shaft, and, with two strokes, I was rock hard. With visions of my brother fresh in my mind, I stepped closer to the mirror. My hand was now starting to work with a pleasurable rhythm. I allowed my left hand to touch my chest and slid it down to the waistband of the partially destroyed boxer briefs. The HOTNESS of being partially nude was too tempting as I played with the waistband and pulled it down touching the base of my shaft.

I focused my attention on my body and cock as I held its rigid straightness tightly in my hand. Up and down the pole I stroked, imagining my brother’s cock in my hand. I allowed saliva to fall from my mouth and land on the head of my cock. I kept the rhythm as I simply allowed the natural lubricant to engulf my rod intensifying the desire. My left hand now stretching the waistband of my underwear further down allowing its elasticity to rub against my hard dick. I released the waistband and propped myself against the wall with my left hand as I started to feel that beautiful release building up inside me. I thought of my tongue reaching forward to touch the tip of Kyles Dick and with that thought I exploded onto the mirror.

Stream after stream of hot cum hit the mirror with the force that seemed enough to crack its surface. I watched the milky substance splatter on the surface wishing it was my face being rewarded with Kyles seed. I shook with pleasure as the orgasm rippled through me. The last stream hit the floor as the fluid started to drip from my mushroom head and spilled on my thumb. I brought the cum to my lip and applied it like gloss, then allowed my tongue to taste its sweet saltiness. I trembled with final waves of orgasm as I pictured myself tasting my Big Brother. Breathing heavily, I closed my eyes and allowed reality to once again invade my fantasy.

I turned towards the shower and started the water. The smell of bacon began to fill the air as I heard kyle shout. “Jerk it quick, Im cooking breakfast.” We had always teased one another about this. If he had only knew how many times he had yelled that same thing while I was doing just that, thinking about him. This time had been different. He had given me more to work with than just passing glimpses and tight clothing. He had actually talked about ME, and commented on ME. Not just me but he called my cock delicious. I cleaned the mirror and stepped into the shower all the while trying to figure out theose comments. As I soaped up and allowed the warm water to refocus my attention, I realized something. The guilt and shame that normally followed a “Kyle centered orgasm,” was no longer there. I had to remind myself that it was not normal. I actually had to tell myself, “It’s your BROTHER, Kameron…”

I guess my Baptist upbringing allowed some shred of guilt to creep back in, but there was still some kind of acceptance going on. There was definitely less guilt and for the first time, my thoughts didn’t bring the disgrace it had always bestowed. Again, What the HELL???

Breakfast was the same as hundreds of times before. The two Kirkland brothers sitting at the round oak table teasing one another, talking and laughing, having breakfast at the lake. The past year had been the longest we had been apart. I had often wondered if our reunion would be akward. You know how things are when youre not around others. Sometimes, it takes awile to regain that level of oneness. It took us about three seconds. Since the terror of the morning had passed, when I walked into the kitchen for breakfast, I was greeted by Kyle. My Brother. My Best Friend. My Kyle.

It turns out that He had been working and studying so that he could spend part of the summer at the lake as well. It had been a surprise that Mom and Dad helped coordinate. Up until this day, I had truly wanted to be here alone, but Kyle being with me felt safe, normal, and truly meant to be.

We had a terrific day being lazy just enjoying one another. Laughing, and catching up. We spent most of the day at the end of the pier in the sun, or swimming. We had some lunch out there and it was like our childhood. Ham sandwiches and chips with cans of SunDrop. Great Big inner tubes, floating chairs, the smell of tanning oil. It was a terrific day for me. I got to keep my eyes planted on my gorgeous brother all day long. He wasn’t wearing a spedo or anything revealing. Instead, he chose a pair of board shorts. Trust me, in my imagination they got removed each time he came out of the water.

There was some odd spirit in the air all day. I couldn’t place it, but I remember there being a calm, almost freedom between us that we had never experienced. I believed it was the fact that we had both grown older, more mature. Looking back I can clearly see what was happening that day. That entire day, Kyle kept telling me that he had a surprise planned. Something major planned for later. After lunch we even went back to the house for a nap because he said: “We will need our rest for later.” He kept saying that he wanted my 18th birthday to be the best of my life, and he was here to make sure that happened. I had no idea what he meant. At the time. Today, I believe he had the night planned out all along. That Birthday remains My Favorite Birthday Celebration of all time!! The gift I received couldn’t be purchased at a store and will forever hold the title of “Worlds Greatest Birthday Gift!”

That day was a precursor for our entire Summer. It shaped my entire life and Kyles. We look back sometimes and… Well Im getting ahead of myself again…

Stay Tuned for the next part..